Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

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  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    It's really great reading all these opinions. I know it isn't ideal for every woman and that's okay. Whatever works out in the end for each of us is what matters. Right now I enjoy making my own money and being responsible. Who knows if I'll even like staying home. It's just a conversation I've had with others.
  • Gdzgal771
    Gdzgal771 Posts: 152 Member
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    being a mom is a real job..the benefits arent financial but the benefits are out of this world..i never regretted being with my kids at home..being a working outside the home mom isnt easy by any means.. God bless them all.. its not easy and they deserve more ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAN THE WORLD GIVES THEM..
  • xLittleMissVixenx
    xLittleMissVixenx Posts: 62
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    If my husband earns enough to support us both then I'd love to be a stay at home wife. I do quite enjoy working so maybe I'd work 2 days a week or something (for the company more than anything) but I'm not ambitious at all so I'd be perfectly happy doing the kind of jobs I've done before.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    I'm a SAHM, and I love it. It can be maddening at times, but I'm glad I have the ability. I've contemplated going back to work once my daughters are in school, but unless we *need* the income, I think I would rather devote my free time to charity. At some point, if the (financial) opportunity ever arises, I would LOVE to open another restaurant. Beyond that, I enjoy being a 21st century June Cleaver. :smile:
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
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    I stayed home with both of my kids until each one was 3. I was lucky we could afford it and I wouldn't take that time back for anything in the world!! It's the hardest, most frustrating, thankless most of the time yet rewarding job ever. It's definitely not for everyone! I did go crazy and needed to go back to work and be around grown ups. Though sometimes I wonder why! :laugh: I like working and got bored staying home - needed more mental stimulation but I love that I got to have that time with them!
  • obrientp
    obrientp Posts: 546 Member
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    I've been glad I've stayed in the work force. You know know what life is going to throw at you. My friends and I have been through it all, divorce, illness, death, spouse losing job, donor was good to know we could always provide for our families.
  • princessofredrock
    princessofredrock Posts: 382 Member
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    I love it! Feel free to read my profile! 10 yrs now a stay at home, work from home and home schooling mom! : )

    Good luck with your future! My 95 yr old grandma says "there is nothing like being a kept woman!" ; )
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
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    It's totally personal. I've been the stay-at-home mom before, and my husband has been the stay-at-home dad for the last 12 years.

    What both partners have to realize though is staying at home is a job. And not staying at home is raising your kids. Both parties should work together to ensure the other has time off and not belittle the other's role. For example, my ex felt like all weekend was HIS time off, because I "didn't work" even though I was home taking care of 4 kids under the age of 3. My husband and I went into our current arrangement learning from past mistakes. Weekends are 'our' time off -- so Saturdays I take the brunt of the load (cooking/cleaning for that day, fielding kid questions and schedules and such), and he does Sundays. So we each get one full day that is our own to totally do nothing. And on the day that is ours to handle, we try to keep it to the minimums and simple so we find ourselves reasonably refreshed and rested after the weekend :) Obviously you have to bend and flex as weird things come up, but by sticking to this and communicating a lot, we have made this work well.

    And what all people will hopefully remember is that it is a personal choice and no one should be judged for choosing one way over the other!
  • lieselLalor
    lieselLalor Posts: 169 Member
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    Until the my son was about 2-2.5years I wished I could stay home all the time. As he got older though we both needed more than eachother. He needed to be around other kids his age and in a more creative environment. I needed more of a routine and some adults other than my husband and mom to talk to. I would say it's wonderful until they reach a certain age that they need other stimulation as well.
  • wozkaa
    wozkaa Posts: 224 Member
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    I'll throw in my .02 cents

    I'm a SAHM. I have 14 month old twins. Prior to their birth, I was working full time in the financial industry.
    We had planned to have kids, with me to be able to spend as much time with them as I wanted - if that meant staying home until it drove me mad in 18mths, or staying home until they started school.
    That said, we never planned to have twins.
    So the choice was removed - my wage and how far I had to travel to work, plus my Husband's unpredictable work travel schedule meant there was no option. I was not returning to work because the cost of childcare vs the actual money in pocket & stress was not worth it. I enjoyed my job, and wish I had been able to continue- but it was not the case. Thankfully we don't have a mortgage to uphold, but it also means we are at the whim of the rental market.

    So now I do my best with them, and as they get older and start going to Kindy/Prep in a few years, I will look at doing some study to be able to return to work when they start school, but ideally I will work part time. My husband isn't working now, either, but he is not well enough to look after them so I can find work... so yeah. Sometimes the choices are taken out of your hands, and you end up having to rethink your opinion on a situation.
  • ideang
    ideang Posts: 95
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    I am currently a stay ay home mom, but I have also been the working mom. There are things I like about both. I do like being home with my kids, but really miss having adult conversations.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    I admit, I'm very old fashioned. I would love taking care of the home and family while my husband worked. I know with the conomy so bad that it's not as common for women, or men to stay at home. My uncle is a stay at home dad while my aunt works. And you know what? they love it. So I guess if one spouse has a good income then it's possible.
  • 1flowergirl
    1flowergirl Posts: 57 Member
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    I've been a stay at home wife and mother for most of 30 years, I loved it, went to every school program and field trip with the kids (so did my husband),even sent them to private school. Could we afford it ,no, but we did it. What I got out of it was a very close relationship with my kids, I knew all their friends and parents, if I had worked I'm sure I still would have had the same result, as a good parent is a good parent regardless of weather they stay home or not, what I would have done differently is taken some classes that interest me, now I want to return to work, my recently married daughter says no! who's going to babysit the grandkids! I don't have any yet, so I babysit the epileptic granddogger,am I happy with my life ? Yes!
    If staying home is your desire do it, about finances you will always find a way, just don't forget yourself, its easy to forget your worth if you don't get out now and then.
  • shelly_36536
    shelly_36536 Posts: 5 Member
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    I have been a SAHM for a couple of years now and I enjoy it! With my first child, I feel I missed so much of her life even though she was at the same childcare center I worked at. I have had no trouble with having adult conversations and making friends due to finding a Mom's group near me. I love being home with my youngest and also being here when my oldest daughter (13) gets home from school. Like many have said though, it's a personal choice and depends on your income. I couldn't afford to stay home with my first child, but have become fortunate enough to be able to stay home now.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    I've been a stay at home wife and mother for most of 30 years, I loved it, went to every school program and field trip with the kids (so did my husband),even sent them to private school. Could we afford it ,no, but we did it. What I got out of it was a very close relationship with my kids, I knew all their friends and parents, if I had worked I'm sure I still would have had the same result, as a good parent is a good parent regardless of weather they stay home or not, what I would have done differently is taken some classes that interest me, now I want to return to work, my recently married daughter says no! who's going to babysit the grandkids! I don't have any yet, so I babysit the epileptic granddogger,am I happy with my life ? Yes!
    If staying home is your desire do it, about finances you will always find a way, just don't forget yourself, its easy to forget your worth if you don't get out now and then.

    I love this the most^^^ very inspirational. You sound like a awesome mom!
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    I'm not a mother, but I'd like to be a stay at home wife one day if it's financially able with my husband. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

    I see nothing wrong with it. If your husband is making enough to live comfortably and not breaking his back to do it and you stay home taking care of the house and spending time raising the children then I think its great. I would hate to have to resort to putting my kids in daycare and hire babysitters. If I can't be there I would need a family member (grandma or someone) to be able to care for them during the day. Daycares freak me out. But, in an ideal situation where money was coming that easy to my family I wouldn't want to work if I could stay home with my kids and cook extravagant and healthy meals for my family all day long lol. In NYC that is never really an option unless you're the 1% though so I don't foresee that in my future unless I hit the lotto haha.
  • samanthacohoe
    samanthacohoe Posts: 11
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    I'm a full-time mom, and I wouldn't do it any other way. It's worth making the sacrifices to swing it. As for everyone saying they missed adult conversation, that's what play dates are for! I get lots of time to talk to my other mom friends while our kids play.
  • crimsonandclovers
    crimsonandclovers Posts: 35
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    I'd love to be a stay-at-home-mum when I have kids, but of course that depends if it's financial viable with whoever I marry.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    It can be a drag at times, but its what we feel is best for our family. I plan on going back to work once the youngest is at school. I know its easier to have someone at home full time for holidays and when kids are sick etc, but can't really justify having me home alone all day every other day
  • cjmight
    cjmight Posts: 2
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    As a mom of 4 - 3 now over 18 - I highly recommend raising your own children if its at all possible. Who would love them most in all the world? You & your hubby. If there is ever a question - watch other families in both situations. I love my kids & was blessed to be with them most of their lives.

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