The meanest thing just happened :-(

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  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
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    You do not need to lose 20 more pounds. Period. He's stupid.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I bet he was "negging" you

    pickup_artist.png

    totally agree.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    I would have slapped him across the face.


    I was thinking swift kick to the nads.


    You are, apparently, much nicer than I.
  • SephiraRose
    SephiraRose Posts: 775 Member
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    You are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
  • rubydrm
    rubydrm Posts: 112 Member
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    I am so sorry this happened to you!! <hugs>

    He is a JERK. Don't let his hateful words get into your head.
    Head up and keep working toward YOUR goal.

    and don't forget...

    You are AMAZING!!!!
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
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    Wow. I have heard/read that such types of insults are a guy's mentod of getting a girl's attention in trying to hook up. Like lower self esteem = higher chance of success for a dbag like that. I think there's even a word for it. You are beautiful and reading this breaks my heart. I hope the 9 pages of comments already here help drill that home. You. Are. Beautiful!
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
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    OP, you are absolutely STUNNING! He's a complete pr**k.
  • newlife888
    newlife888 Posts: 83 Member
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    #1 that person was mean and a total idiot.

    #2 I have some theories as to why the person said that.
    *Jealousy? (is he really unhealthy?)
    *Trying to pick you up by insulting you? Some people like to insult flirt? Personally I've never slept with any of them ;)
    *Surprise you look so awesome and flabbergasted as to what to say?

    My guess is it's that last one... don't pay attention to anyone who is such a glaring ignoramus.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    You already looked awesome on your pictures. Ignore him next time you see him, he's an a**.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    Yeah, he was negging you, trying to pick you up. You're young, you're beautiful, and you have a sweet smile, so you look both desirable and vulnerable. He was trying to take advantage of how vulnerable he thought you were.

    I am so proud of you for walking away and breaking down in the locker-room rather than in front of him. What he did hurts like hell but you didn't let him get any benefit from it -- not even the twisted benefit of "Hey, look, she takes me seriously enough to cry about what I said!" You just left. GOOD FOR YOU.
  • Amandinggo
    Amandinggo Posts: 4
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    maybe he was trying to pick you up..I'm guessing he failed

    This :D
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
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    :hugsandcauliflowerforyou:

    Some dingbats find the worst methods to come onto a lady. I had something similar happen last year, the guy I was out to dinner with was a personal trainer and after complimenting how hard I'd been working in the gym, paused and recanted, saying I could afford to drop some weight. I'm 105lbs so... :indifferent: Fortunately I'd driven us there. I'd like to think he had a nice walk back to campus

    You're bootiful OP, don't let it get to you :flowerforyou:
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
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    as everyone else has said. you look great, screw that d-bag.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
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    I'm going to jump in with my third reply to this thread.

    I'm working to stop this nonsense. I've been against it for a few years now. Every time a guy negs a girl, it reflects poorly on men in general. Negging is NOT flirting. It's NOT healthy teasing. There's a huge difference! It's not natural or a sign of masculinity or high self esteem behavior either.

    You know what the whole basis of this nonesense is? I'll tell you...

    The guys who do it and teach it actually believe that men are repressed and have nothing better to do than seek approval from hot women. They think women view themselves as far superior to men. They think that if a guy were to hit on a girl in a normal way, she would see him as an underling who she was doing a favor to just by giving him the time of day...and maybe pity him.

    They say that by negging a girl, you're holding onto more of your power rather than giving it away, that you're showing value, and that you're making the girl work for your approval, and making the interaction fun and mysterious for her. I'm not making this up...this is what the "pickup artists" teach, dumbasses that they are! They also think that the hotter a girl is, the more severely she has to be negged.

    It's really awful. The guys also don't realize that the very fact that they're so obsessed with pickup games and negging...means their life revolves around what women think of them...even though they claim the opposite is true. And that's not healthy.

    When I was in collelge, I actually tried "negging" out a few times. I hated the way it made me and other people feel, hated the reactions and how people saw me after, etc. There was a lot of upset.

    I'm trying to shatter the stereotype that guys have to be mean jerks as society tells us.

    Please...help me to stop it!

    What can we do? We can simply call people out on their behavior when we see it happening in real life. I know I do, but I'm only one person. We need an army in order to put an end to it. Please do your part. Thanks!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Ugh. I hate it when that happens.

    A year ago around Christmas, I was at my sister's house for either Christmas or Thanksgiving - her brother-in-law was asking how I had lost so much weight, and I was talking to him about it and some of the things I'd learned on my journey. His mother (my sisters mother-in-law) starts in...."You all research stuff too much." and went on to tell me I should have just had weight loss surgery. She went into the other room and was razzing me to my own mother too. My mother actually stood up for me talking about how successful I'd been and was able to lose weight even with the occasional piece of pie or something. I didn't know about htat until afterwards though.

    But when I was talking to the mother-in-law, I just thought to myself...."Ya know, you have NO IDEA what I've done or what I've been through. Therefore, you have not earned the right to offer an opinion that I'll give ANY creedance to." In other words, "Talk to the hand."

    Know what you're doing is right on track. My dad used to say somehting to the effect of "Best to keep the mouth shut and be thought a fool , than open it and remove all doubt."

    Don't give the fools the time of day!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
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    I've learned to be ruthless in such situations. I call people out on it. I sit them down...and I talk to them. I explain everything. I tell them why their viewpoint is wrong as far as I'm concerned, etc. So in the case above I'd be explainining to them about quick fixes versus a healthy lifestyle...surgical complications, satisfaction, long-term success rates, etc. Basically I'll grill them if I get the chance. Not emotionally...just in a way that makes them learn something. Sometimes you can actually convert/persuade people to appreciate your viewpoint, when they realize your way is healthier than their way. usually the reason people say negative things, is...wait for it...

    ...ignorance! they simply haven't discovered a better way! I only spend my time doing that if I think I can really get through to the individual and help set in motion a positive change or paradigm shift in them. If they're totally closed off, it's not worth it. Just leave. But if they have just a slight bit of open-mindedness, you can make a positive difference in their life.
  • emd2570
    emd2570 Posts: 126 Member
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    What an *kitten* -some people just have
    Diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of thought
    Don't let that jerk get u down- be proud of yourself
  • robbie687
    robbie687 Posts: 1 Member
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    Surely he was kidding!!! You look great how stupid!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Perhaps he's following the d-bag rules of dating? You know, compliment a girl in a way that is an insult also so that she is off balance and vulnerable...then move in for the kill. I actually have know guys who do this....and it sadly does work pretty well for them.

    exactly my thoughts.

    OP, you look terrific and I'm sure for every jerk like him there are twenty other guys thinking "dang that girl is so HOT!!!"
  • Seabee74
    Seabee74 Posts: 314
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    That's pretty sad that he is such an idiot !! I'm a bit older than you and unfortunately I have come across many similar idiots over the years and what's even worse, you are unfortunately going to come across more like him as time goes on.. Know yourself, be proud of who you are and what you are accomplishing. Unfortunately Immature people like him, are just part of this world and something that you must not only prepare for, but learn to not let it bother you !! As so many have mentioned, you are a beautiful young lady who has nothing at all to be ashamed of, so continue with your work outs and your healthy living and the next time an idiot says something stupid just smile and go on your way !!

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