Skinny people who think they know better...

LiftAllThePizzas

So I just got into an argument online with some skinny woman who's never had a weight problem in her life basically saying that all I know about weight loss is wrong and I'm giving horrible advice.

Gotta love it.. We all know someone like this, don't we?

Yeah, I only take driving advice from people who have caused traffic accidents.

I firmly believe that some people just get lucky with an amazing metabolism. I've known people personally who ate ~5000 cals a day, exercised little, and stayed skinny (although whether they are healthy is debatable). Meanwhile, here I am gaining weight on a meager 1500 cals/day. I've always wondered if these lucky people know they are gifted, or if they think overweight people must all be eating 15,000 cals/day. On the flipside, the "skinny woman" mentioned by the OP may have a lifelong eating disorder and believe that the key to staying thin is limiting oneself to 500 cals/day.

That must have been a lot of work for you to follow them around 24/7 and weigh/measure/log everything they ate.

ijohn_001

Just asking....

Do you think shes never had a weight problem because she watches her diet and works out? I used to be a skinny gal until I wasnt, lol. Ate what I wanted and stayed thin. When I turned 28 things changed. Anyway, my point is, when I realized I had crossed over to the dark side I started to work out. I saw all the skinny girls really working out hardcore. I thought to mysef "why are they here, they are skinny". I came to realize they were skinny because they were working for it and always had.

She's healthy and has healthy eating habits. That's why it bothered me actually... I don't think someone who has always had healthy eating and exercising habits is the best person to give her opinion about weight loss, when she probably has no idea what it's like to love calorie-heavy food, have binge issues etc.

But apparently, because I've learned most of what I know from MFP, it's wrong too. Whatever...

Actually. someone with healthy habits would probably have some good advice to offer. Why are you dismissing it just because she's never had a weight problem?
I've never had a significant weight problem, but took the time to educate myself on nutrition and exercise. I do have good advice to offer. Honestly, if people choose to dismiss it because of my weight... they're wrong.

^^^^ This! :happy:

You don't have to have a driver's license to be a great mechanic, either.... let that blow someone's mind.

mschicagocubs

Uhhhh...I just had the opposite rant the other day. My sister and my friends are all helping each other lose weight. I constantly get ridiculed because unlike most of them, I only have 15 pounds till my GW. "You're skinny though, you don't really need to eat healthy/work out every day" I try to offer some insight to what I have been doing and people shrug me off because I'm not 50lbs overweight.

A) Just because you think I am "skinny" doesnt mean I dont want to be the healthiest and best looking I can be.
I haven't always been this "skinny"
C) There is a reason that I have never let myself get back to 170 since 2009 so maybe I have good advice to give.

I understand having a healthy disagreement about ways and ideas to lose weight, but stereotyping her as a "skinny girl that doesn't know anything about a struggle" is ridiculous. Even at 125lbs, I still struggled with the concept of eating too much.

Women need to stop tearing each other down for being fat, skinny, ugly, pretty ...

Just have a conversation about weight loss, take it with a grain of salt, and move on.

nehtaeh

But she's not starving herself. She asked if she was not eating enough based on a calculation...but she ate all day - healthy stuff - and practically forced herself to eat a sandwich because she was going off some arbitrary number that made her sick.

The skinny person in question knows what she's talking about. Did you even bother to open the thing she linked to or just dismissed it out of hand? I don't even get why her being skinny has anything to do with it. She's healthy - who wouldn't want to listen to someone who's healthy?

Can you ever admit if you might be wrong?

TR0berts

But she's not starving herself. She asked if she was not eating enough based on a calculation...but she ate all day - healthy stuff - and practically forced herself to eat a sandwich because she was going off some arbitrary number that made her sick.

The skinny person in question knows what she's talking about. Did you even bother to open the thing she linked to or just dismissed it out of hand? I don't even get why her being skinny has anything to do with it. She's healthy - who wouldn't want to listen to someone who's healthy?

Can you ever admit if you might be wrong?

Wait - was this discussion here on MFP?

nehtaeh

But she's not starving herself. She asked if she was not eating enough based on a calculation...but she ate all day - healthy stuff - and practically forced herself to eat a sandwich because she was going off some arbitrary number that made her sick.

The skinny person in question knows what she's talking about. Did you even bother to open the thing she linked to or just dismissed it out of hand? I don't even get why her being skinny has anything to do with it. She's healthy - who wouldn't want to listen to someone who's healthy?

Can you ever admit if you might be wrong?

Wait - was this discussion here on MFP?

No but I was a part of it where it happened. I don't like it when people take to another place to slam someone. The discussion should have stayed there...but it didn't and now it's here. She wants affirmation that she was right - that's why she's here and not doing the discussing with the people that asked the question and the skinny chick.

sloth3toes

Just asking....

Do you think shes never had a weight problem because she watches her diet and works out? I used to be a skinny gal until I wasnt, lol. Ate what I wanted and stayed thin. When I turned 28 things changed. Anyway, my point is, when I realized I had crossed over to the dark side I started to work out. I saw all the skinny girls really working out hardcore. I thought to mysef "why are they here, they are skinny". I came to realize they were skinny because they were working for it and always had.

I'm not sure you even know where the dark side is....

Achrya

But she's not starving herself. She asked if she was not eating enough based on a calculation...but she ate all day - healthy stuff - and practically forced herself to eat a sandwich because she was going off some arbitrary number that made her sick.

The skinny person in question knows what she's talking about. Did you even bother to open the thing she linked to or just dismissed it out of hand? I don't even get why her being skinny has anything to do with it. She's healthy - who wouldn't want to listen to someone who's healthy?

Can you ever admit if you might be wrong?

Wait - was this discussion here on MFP?

No but I was a part of it where it happened. I don't like it when people take to another place to slam someone. The discussion should have stayed there...but it didn't and now it's here. She wants affirmation that she was right - that's why she's here and not doing the discussing with the people that asked the question and the skinny chick.

Damn. This just got real

KimiSteinbach

Just asking....

Do you think shes never had a weight problem because she watches her diet and works out? I used to be a skinny gal until I wasnt, lol. Ate what I wanted and stayed thin. When I turned 28 things changed. Anyway, my point is, when I realized I had crossed over to the dark side I started to work out. I saw all the skinny girls really working out hardcore. I thought to mysef "why are they here, they are skinny". I came to realize they were skinny because they were working for it and always had.

She's healthy and has healthy eating habits. That's why it bothered me actually... I don't think someone who has always had healthy eating and exercising habits is the best person to give her opinion about weight loss, when she probably has no idea what it's like to love calorie-heavy food, have binge issues etc.

But apparently, because I've learned most of what I know from MFP, it's wrong too. Whatever...

Actually. someone with healthy habits would probably have some good advice to offer. Why are you dismissing it just because she's never had a weight problem?
I've never had a significant weight problem, but took the time to educate myself on nutrition and exercise. I do have good advice to offer. Honestly, if people choose to dismiss it because of my weight... they're wrong.

^ This. Especially since maintenance is more important, and more difficult, than losing weight. The people who have "always been thin" or "always healthy" are that way because they're doing something to maintain that way.

Right here! Firstsip is absolutely correct! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

ThickMcRunFast

But she's not starving herself. She asked if she was not eating enough based on a calculation...but she ate all day - healthy stuff - and practically forced herself to eat a sandwich because she was going off some arbitrary number that made her sick.

The skinny person in question knows what she's talking about. Did you even bother to open the thing she linked to or just dismissed it out of hand? I don't even get why her being skinny has anything to do with it. She's healthy - who wouldn't want to listen to someone who's healthy?

Can you ever admit if you might be wrong?

Wait - was this discussion here on MFP?

No but I was a part of it where it happened. I don't like it when people take to another place to slam someone. The discussion should have stayed there...but it didn't and now it's here. She wants affirmation that she was right - that's why she's here and not doing the discussing with the people that asked the question and the skinny chick.

Damn. This just got real

cmriverside

in! but may or may not actually catch up or have any idea what is going on here...seems there has been an alternate reality suggested. angtft.

KimiSteinbach

I don't think someone who has always had healthy eating and exercising habits is the best person to give her opinion about weight loss, when she probably has no idea what it's like to love calorie-heavy food, have binge issues etc.

You are jumping to some pretty unsupportable conclusions there....the fact that someone *can* control their urges does not mean they do not have strong urges!

Considering that the way to lose weight and maintain the weight loss is precisely "healthy eating and exercise habits" - yeah, seems to me that's a pretty solid person to listen to.

Well here's something to chew on....

I think folks who gain excessively and lose are extremists. There's no middle ground. We gain a ton of weight, go on diets or change our lifestyles and lose it, then gain again.

Also, I've witnessed many of us heavier folks become addicted to exercise or gasp; run 5K's!

Addicted to food, addicted to exercise....

Don't hear this as much with thinner folks who have maintained a healthy weight all of their lives.

firstsip

I don't think someone who has always had healthy eating and exercising habits is the best person to give her opinion about weight loss, when she probably has no idea what it's like to love calorie-heavy food, have binge issues etc.

You are jumping to some pretty unsupportable conclusions there....the fact that someone *can* control their urges does not mean they do not have strong urges!

Considering that the way to lose weight and maintain the weight loss is precisely "healthy eating and exercise habits" - yeah, seems to me that's a pretty solid person to listen to.

Well here's something to chew on....

I think folks who gain excessively and lose are extremists. There's no middle ground. We gain a ton of weight, go on diets or change our lifestyles and lose it, then gain again.

Also, I've witnessed many of us heavier folks become addicted to exercise or gasp; run 5K's!

Addicted to food, addicted to exercise....

Don't hear this as much with thinner folks who have maintained a healthy weight all of their lives.

I may not be the best example, with a diagnosed eating disorder, but I *was* the person someone referenced earlier. I maintained a low weight, even when it was a healthy, low weight, most of my life by undereating and over-exercising. I love food; I've always been a foodie.

The only time I ate? In front of people. I never ate on my own. I still have issues with this.

So I do think it's safe to say that thinner people may not talk about and/or publicly exhibit certain issues, but can still have them.

I'd also add that the gaining/losing bit could definitely be the all-or-nothing mentality many people talk about on the forums; however, the regaining + desperately trying to relose bit has been linked to a.) following fad diets and not actually knowing about lean body mass, fitness, and/or nutrition and b.) losing said lean body mass, resulting in it being much easier to regain fat.

Mayzism

I am going to say this. I am one of those skinny people in question here. I agree with the hungry/full signals which lead to a "Starvation diet" which confuses your brain signals and trains your body to store weight when you eat too little because your body fears not getting food and treats it like our evolved reaction to winter prior to our luxuries. I was taught by dieticians that you should NEVER go below 1800 cals a day when I worked as a CNA unless you are bedridden, which is like minimum of 1400 cals.

I was taught that portion control is the size of two of your fists together (palm to palm) which is the size of a normal stomach, or you will stretch your stomach and it will take longer to get full when I worked at 24 hour fitness. It is better to eat your 1800 cals in "eat like a bird" portions.

I have intestinal problems, and I get a belly, not because of food, but because of inflammation. That is why I am here monitoring my health and food intake to see what I eat that causes it.

Now, I won't claim I know your struggle, and I won't claim that it is your hereditary that causes or doesn't cause overweightness, and I won't claim that you don't have thyroid problems or estrogen problems or what not. My half sister and my full blood sister both struggle with their weight, and my full blood brother is forever skinny, and I am average ranging from size 5-9 US sizes. My half sister seemed to have gained her weight from the estrogen in the pills. She fights with it every day. I can't help her for the same reason as the OP. If I try to, I put her on the defensive.

What I do know, as a woman, we have a sexual dimorphism that has women convert their food into fat, while men tend to convert more of that food into muscle. I believe this has a lot to do with our evolution and child rearing especially during winter months.

I think at some point women need to become more comfortable with their curves, and only be concerned about the health elements.

sloth3toes

What I do know, as a woman, we have a sexual dimorphism that has women convert their food into fat, while men tend to convert more of that food into muscle.

*kitten*.... I knew I was born the wrong gender. I'm supposed to be a male, but I'm converting everything into fat.

atcross

I firmly believe that some people just get lucky with an amazing metabolism. I've known people personally who ate ~5000 cals a day, exercised little, and stayed skinny (although whether they are healthy is debatable). Meanwhile, here I am gaining weight on a meager 1500 cals/day. I've always wondered if these lucky people know they are gifted, or if they think overweight people must all be eating 15,000 cals/day. On the flipside, the "skinny woman" mentioned by the OP may have a lifelong eating disorder and believe that the key to staying thin is limiting oneself to 500 cals/day.

The great thing about beliefs is that they're just that: beliefs! If you are interested in researching it, there's plenty of resources (posted here and throughout the science world) letting you know that most everyone has very similar metabolisms. :flowerforyou:

Of course, some people have disorders that affect these slightly (I'm one of them), but I find it curious that you knew that one person was eating 5,000 calories a day. Were you with them 24/7 and weighed all their food? Wow, can I hire you?!

I don't usually respond to people who are being snarky just for sake of it, but I'm just going to point out this: a funny thing happens when you live with a person and/or eat most meals with them. You start to notice portion sizes and food choices. If you are a veteran logger you can estimate calories. That is why I used this symbol "~", which most people understand means "approximately". In other cases, people actually tell you about their eating and exercising habits. My husband is a powerlifter and has friends and training partners who struggle to gain weight (fat or muscle) even on very high calorie diets. I also understand that not all skinny people are healthy, which I already acknowledged above. When I said they are lucky, I meant it in an aesthetic sense, given that thin is the beauty standard in our society. I also understand thyroid disorders as I have both hypo- and hyper- on both sides of my family.

emmullins55

So I just got into an argument online with some skinny woman who's never had a weight problem in her life basically saying that all I know about weight loss is wrong and I'm giving horrible advice.

Gotta love it.. We all know someone like this, don't we?

The first thing I would like to say is congratulations on your impressive accomplishment of 75 pounds lost. To be honest with you. I think that the labels we put on eachother; "skinny, fat, ugly, pretty, " are just wrong. I have had a problem with food all my life. A problem? Yes a problem because food is not just fuel or nutrition to me, food is comfort, enjoyment, rewards, and even at times better than sex! I did say at times. There really aren't fat people or skinny people. There are people who have learned to limit the amounts of foods that are calorie dense, or literally exercise their butt off. Then their are people like me who have chosen to eat whatever, whenever, to experience the delicious tastes everyday. Food is the only "drug," that is socially acceptable because we need to eat to live. Somehow I decided I would live to eat. Everyone chose to be posting here for various reasons, to help others, to learn, or to flaunt their victories. I enjoy reading other peoples posts, but I think one of the biggest problems on this site are people who are not nutritionists, or fitness experts giving away bad ideas and advise, and they think they can justify it because they have posted a sexy selfie, with ripped muscles or a six-pack.The main idea is to be healthy and strong! Don't let your friend bother you. Sometimes the way we are told things by people we know or care about can be hurtful. I don't think her advise was wrong. When you become so accustomed to having that really full feeling in order to feel satisfied, it does take some deeper self awareness to learn when you are actually satiated. Good luck on your journey to being the best you, that you can.

67667

Some skinny girls weren't always skinny and know the struggle, some skinny girls sit on top of the world and wonder why day people can't just be thin. Like it just never crossed their minds. Like how some rich people don't understand why the poor don't just buy more money. There are people who don't appreciate hard work because they've never been subjected to it.

Some girls are skinny, have never been overweight, and are still aware of how people get overweight, and understand their struggles.

^ I agree. People are skinny for a reason, maybe some are aware how to stay a certain weight and what exactly causes them to remain thin (lifestyle/dietary habits). Maybe some, like myself, just want to help and are tired of all the complicated 'advice' online which happens to be in the form of idiots trying to sell things. I hate how people are put-off weightloss by the inundation of information... Fad diets, unsustainable restriction plans, and stuff... It's irritating. Of course no skinny person has the right to say or infer anything along the lines of, "i know better because i am skinny" because that's illogical... just because someone is skinny does not mean that they know anything of substance concerning weightloss.

Ang108

So I just got into an argument online with some skinny woman who's never had a weight problem in her life basically saying that all I know about weight loss is wrong and I'm giving horrible advice.

Gotta love it.. We all know someone like this, don't we?

Knowledge has nothing to do with the shape of anyone's body. Just because a person is not overweight does not mean that they have no knowledge about a subject. Applying that kind of logic would mean that for example a doctor who treats diabetics needs to be a diabetic themselves to know anything about the subject .
I have worked in the field of Nutrition in Humanitarian Aid all my life and until about ten years ago weighed around 105-120 pounds ( a good weight for my height ). Now I weigh a lot more. Does that mean that all my advise on nutrition I gave until ten years ago was wrong, because I was not malnourished and did not live in a refugee camp ? Does it mean that now that I am overweight all of a sudden I know what weight loss is all about ? Definitely not.....
Maybe you don't want advise from a skinny person for reasons all your own, maybe you know more about weight loss than she does, maybe not.......but I am certain that her weight or yours have nothing to do with that.

KimiSteinbach

I think it's good to observe how skinny people live, what they eat, etc.