Spanking your kids yes or no?

samiyan05

I think the issue with today's youth is less an issue with spanking so much as it is the dynamic of the family household today. I'm sure I will upset a few folks with this but I believe that the reason so many of the children are so out of control these days is because women are forced to take a more active role is punishing the child. Women are meant to be the nurtures. Men the law. When women are forced to become the law the order of the household is off balance . If you notice a majority of the "no spanking" responses are from women. Of course they don't condone it. They are the nurturers. Not the disciplinarian. Women are forced to be yanked out of the household to work so less time for nurturing and men are either absent or forced to work long hours so less time for assumong the role of the head of the house. This can cause dysfunction. Agree with me or not that's been my observation.


I was spanked in anger and it was never consistent with the punishment. That being said. I have spanked my child. But never in anger and only needed to a couple times because she learned.
My little brother is just a couple years older than my daughter and he gets spanked in anger and never consistently. He behaves like an angel at my house and a demon child at my parents.
Spanking isn't meant to be an alternative to parenting and logic. I think that's where the wires get crossed.

Escloflowne

Just curious....why do people want "in before the lock"? Why not just say what you have to say? :ohwell:

They don't have anything to say. They just want to act like they're involved in something, even if they're not.

Womp womp!

Now I'm totally IBL

Mia_RagazzaTosta

It seems this should have been a conversation between you and your BF prior to having a baby.

Oldtimer_65

Spanking is wrong. Period. When my kids are out of line, I hook them up to a car battery for a few seconds. Problem solved.

Beastmaster50

I save the spanking for adult women.....just trying to add some humor here

BlessedJourney29

So the boyfriend and I got in an argument he thinks spanking has its place in raising children and I consider it a form a corporal punishment possibly abuse if the parents aren't in control with no real value teaches aggression, violence, and one study I read said there may be some relation to lower IQ. We were both spanked as children, and my Mom used to carry a wooden spoon I her purse to make us behave. What are your thoughts?

P.S.-if this is too much of a controversial subject you can lock it mods I was just curious.

You mentioned 1 study in your post above. That's just one. There was not a study of every single person who had been spanked or spaked their chiid so those studies are irrelevant. I was spanked. i will spank my son if need be. I honestly don't see any aggressiveness in him or any of those things you speak of. Actually, he's well more behaved than some of the kids who aren't spanked that we associate with. I do think that spanking is not for every child and that some children may not benefit from spankings as well as others. i was spanked as well as my sisters. we were never beaten. time outs did not work for me and i am glad that i got spanked. never been to jail. graduated college and im happy my mother loved me enough to spank my butt to keep me in line. i respect people and i dont have the anger and animosity in me that your "study" says.

KeithAngilly

spanking is child abuse, pure and simple

SephiraRose

I'm not a spanker but was spanked as a child. With our kids more was accomplished by way of a reprimand by withholding a tv or electronics privilege. Or no friends over. I might be dating myself a little here, but when I was in grade school (in the 70's) corporal punishment was still allowed. Nothing more humiliating and painful then a public spanking, and that's exactly how it was done in our school. Once per week, mandatory school assembly, all the guilty were paraded to the stage and given their due. Ooouch.

BlessedJourney29

Never EVER a reason to hit a child ... it's lazy parenting and abusive. Whether they survive or not is not the point.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

I like this a LOT. :flowerforyou:

I do not agree. I love my son with all of my heart. I live by the bible it encourages to not spare the rod. I do not agree with beating a child but a spank on the butt when out of line is not abuse and it's not lazy parenting. if it was abuse, dhs would arrest people who spanked their children. in fact, dhs says as long as there are no bruises, spanking is not abuse in the state I live in. Your opinion is your opinion, but please do not consider a parent lazy for spanking. I've tried those "time outs" take a way game time and it did not work. I spanked my son's butt for something he did over 3 months ago and he hasn't had another spanking yet. I spank him b/c i love him and I dont' want to see him hurt (he ran in the street and the word "No" didn't work) i think the lazy parents are the ones who do nothing when their children are acting out and their chidren curse them out and hit them. I've never seen that with a child who was spanked!!

BlessedJourney29

in before this gets locked...


I see spanking as another tool in a parents toolbox to aid directing a child on a proper path.. never out of anger..

to be used in a progressive manner when "NO", "TIME OUT" and other verbal cues/lessons fail to get the attention and correct the behavior.. but again, never out of anger.

^ this right here. I do agree

SF2514

I don't think spanking has much to do with the way anyone turns out. It has it's place in some homes. Personal choice. Abuse will mess people up yes, spanking no. Some people are just messed up from the get go as well. I have problems, but not from spanking lol.

paperpudding

I don't think spanking a child is the answer. I'm always fascinated by the parents that say - "I never spank in anger". What message does that send a child? I'm going to hit you now that I'm not angry.

Here's a thought for you: As an adult, if you do something wrong at work - can your boss clock you and then move on? Can your neighbor come over and hit you for letting your dog tear up his flower bed?

There is no logic in looking at children as though they are not people, too.

There is no logic in this argument - sure, my boss or my neighbour wouldn't hit me if I was doing something wrong - but they are not responsible for raising me so that is irrelevant.
They also wouldn't enforce my bed time or supervise my TV watching or put me in time out or dock my pocket money or any other thing that parents appropriately do to their children.

I know some parents have decided not to use smacking and that's fine by me.

However, I think smacking, used sparingly, can be an appropriate discipline tool. It is not the only tool and it does have to be used in moderation.

Obviously belting, whipping etc are not ok - but light smacking, used sparingly, is not that at all.

I agree with posters that saying light smacking is abuse is trivialising to all those children who were really abused.

SonicDeathMonkey80

I have a 9-year old and I've never had to resort to physical abuse to teach/guide him from right/wrong. A "disappointed dad" speech works perfectly fine. I also wield the power of my home's WiFi password.

michellemybelll

well, myself and my older sibling were spanked quite regularly growing up. My two younger siblings not as much, but they were here and there. Honestly, i think it has its place. I think kids can be punks, and a little swat could do them good. Although, I do agree with others who've said it shouldn't come from a place of anger. But, i think that must be difficult to accomplish. Spankings (to a kid) are typically, in my experience, doled out as a punishment. When my parents were dishing out punishments to us kids growing up, they were typically angry in the moment lol. I don't think it has any affect on IQ at all. But i guess i only have my personal experience to base that on, as i've never heard that nor done any research on that particular "stat". And, I definitely wasn't emotionally or mentally scarred because of receiving spankings as a kid lol.

all in all, i guess to each their own. i think most kids are annoying monsters, and I will not be pro-creating. so, this is not something I will personally have to deal with in my life. :drinker:

SonicDeathMonkey80

I do not agree. I love my son with all of my heart. I live by the bible it encourages to not spare the rod.

Will you go all the way and stone him to death if he's gay?

lauren3101

I'm just kidding.

My parents did hit me as a child, and I didn't turn out any worse for it. But it's far too general a question. There are huge differences in the way you can hit your child, depending on severity, mood, and reason. That, in my opinion, determines whether or not it was justified. Slapping your child round the face in anger is extremely different from a tap on the bottom and telling them why they have received it.

BlessedJourney29

why is it then that the kids from the days where spanking was common place had so much more respect than the total pricks that are around today.

directed at the topic, not the above poster

great question, I agree!

BlessedJourney29

I do not agree. I love my son with all of my heart. I live by the bible it encourages to not spare the rod.

Will you go all the way and stone him to death if he's gay?




Wow, uncalled for, very ignorant on your behalf. And no, why would I murder my child! Please find someone else to "pick on" not me and my beliefs. God bless you.

Derpes

Taking away the computer, toy, or something that they use regularly seems to sting more than a swat on the backside.

Having said that, spanking is appropriate in rare instances.

michellemybelll

I have a 9-year old and I've never had to resort to physical abuse to teach/guide him from right/wrong. A "disappointed dad" speech works perfectly fine. I also wield the power of my home's WiFi password.

lol. melodramatic much?

BlessedJourney29

I'm just kidding.

My parents did hit me as a child, and I didn't turn out any worse for it. But it's far too general a question. There are huge differences in the way you can hit your child, depending on severity, mood, and reason. That, in my opinion, determines whether or not it was justified. Slapping your child round the face in anger is extremely different from a tap on the bottom and telling them why they have received it.

I love that quote haha

SonicDeathMonkey80

why is it then that the kids from the days where spanking was common place had so much more respect than the total pricks that are around today.

directed at the topic, not the above poster

People said this about me, growing up in the 90s. My generation now says this people that grew up in the 00s, and I'm sure that in a few years, the 00s will say this about the kids from the 10s. I get the feeling that harboring disdain for those younger than you is a natural, irrational phenomena and part of "growing up." Or maybe you're the prick?

sageryu21

Spanking as a corrective action is okay. Beating them into submission is a bad thing.

Derpes

I have a 9-year old and I've never had to resort to physical abuse to teach/guide him from right/wrong. A "disappointed dad" speech works perfectly fine. I also wield the power of my home's WiFi password.

How is spanking lumped in with "physical abuse"?

paperpudding

I do not agree. I love my son with all of my heart. I live by the bible it encourages to not spare the rod.

Will you go all the way and stone him to death if he's gay?

I think your post is a good example of a straw man argument.

summertime_girl

I never spank. There are other much more effective punishments that physically hurting my children. I was spanked as a kid, and it made me even more rebellious. I refused to cry, and so they'd hit harder, with the whole nonsense "this hurts me more than it hurts you".

Now I prefer to take away privileges, electronics, toys, whatever. My son once lost the door to his bedroom for a month.

The one that always killed me was getting a spanking for whacking one of my little sisters. Could never figure out why it was ok for my parents to hit me for doing what I did first.

PennyM140

I use spanking along with time outs and taking toys away. I don't care exactly how other parents discipline their children as long as they do something. I understand different methods work for different children and different ages. But, for the love of god, please get your bratty rugrats under control in public. It irritates the crap out of me to take my very well behaved child somewhere and have our fun ruined by some little out of control heathens.

paperpudding

I would consider a quick light smack on the bottom as more appropriate than removing a bedroom door for a month.

SonicDeathMonkey80

I do not agree. I love my son with all of my heart. I live by the bible it encourages to not spare the rod.

Will you go all the way and stone him to death if he's gay?

I think your post is a good example of a straw man argument.

Sure, it goes a little far, but "living by the bible" doesn't always equate to great parenting.

msf74

No.