Do you agree with this statement?

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JessicaLSpindler
JessicaLSpindler Posts: 29
in Getting Started
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."

My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.

Follow up question:

When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
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Replies

  • brandi712
    brandi712 Posts: 407 Member
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    When I first started here, I asked a similar question regarding working out and exercise. One answer that stuck with me because it was blunt, to the point and honest : You don't want it bad enough.....YET!!!! Some people think that sounds harsh but for me, it was truth. I wanted the body and the benefits that come from working out, I just didn't want to do the work, which really meant, I didn't want it bad enough. I still hate working out but I force myself because I now want it THAT bad.

    I wish you luck in your weight loss journey. I hope that you find your way to weight happiness.
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
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    For me it was a little like an epiphany. I just decided to do it. I'd been "trying" for years and not succeeding. I wish I knew exactly what caused the change in my thinking. I know that I was getting annoyed at all the "skinny" people around me, feeling like I didn't fit in, but it's been that way all my life. This time instead of just feeling sorry for myself, I decided to actually make a change. That's when I found this site. I still have to fight the urge to eat everything every day. Exercise actually came easier. I just kept trying different things until I found something that I didn't hate. Now I miss it if I can't exercise.
  • Brenda_Pancakes
    Brenda_Pancakes Posts: 288 Member
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    I agree with brandi712. When I first started here - the weight MELTED off. I was logging all my intake... religiously exercising 4-5 times a week. I was doing great. I lost 30 lbs in just a few months... I wanna say, like, 4 or 5 months... BUT - then I quit working as hard and started slacking on the food. Hence, weightoss stopped and I gained a couple lbs back.

    It's hard to lose weight. But for most of us; life is that much harder being heavy. And with being heavy comes other complications.

    "Choose your hard"; as some would say. :smile:

    Good luck.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    It kills me to say so... but your mom may be a bit right. :wink:

    I started here a full 2 months before I REALLY STARTED here. I thought I wanted to lose weight... really I just wanted to be instantly smaller, I didn't want to put the effort in to do anything about it.
    I had a couple friends starting a diet plan and was asked to join in... I didn't WANT to, I went kicking and screaming. Then I just KEPT GOING, even when others stopped because it was FINALLY something that I WANTED very badly. Been at it for 2 1/2 years now. And making sure to add... I LOVE MY LIFE NOW.

    You will find your "moment" :flowerforyou:
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    I agree wholeheartedly.

    "Change Occurs When The Pain Of Staying The Same Is Worse Than The Pain Of Change". is my favorite quote,

    You DONT want to lose weight (atleast not more than you want to continue to eat junky food and not work out).
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
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    My initial reaction upon reading the statement was that your mother is an idiot. When I read your explanation I realize that your mother is exactly correct.

    Look, for anything in life there are a million reasons to do it and a million reasons not to do it. All of them are valid. You've been choosing from the "Not to" side. That's your right and no one should judge you for it. However, making that choice and then complaining about the consequences is just annoying. If you want to make that choice, and again it is a valid choice, then don't complain about being heavy or out of shape. Accept both sides of your choice.

    As for when you will choose differently, that's entirely up to you. Every day is a new opportunity to choose. Maybe tomorrow you will choose differently, Maybe you never will. Just know that when you do there will be a lot of folks here willing to help.
  • feltlikesound
    feltlikesound Posts: 326 Member
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    For me it was a balancing act -- how unhappy am I with my current body/fitness level vs. my lack of desire to change my habits.

    Eventually my desire to improve my fitness exceeded my fear of changing my habits/my dislike for working out, and I stuck out the hard first weeks where everything is new and terrible (haha) because I want the fitness MORE.

    I always WANTED to be in better shape, but the teeter-totter took a few years to shift to the lifestyle change side -- where I wanted to be fit more than I wanted to laze around/eat what I wanted/be resistent to lifestyle change/etc.
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Itll click one day.

    For 2 years I was like "I want to lose weight" and never did anythong about it.
    Then in 2012, just woke up and did something about it.

    You may want to lose the weight but your mind might not be in the place yet where you can do it.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    You will know that you want to do it when the emotional pain of being overweight is greater than the temporary "pains" of saying no to food, working out, going outside your calorie needs...

    And you don't have to work our or eat healthy and you can still lose the weight. Just don't eat above your calorie threshold.

    Once you get started, and get in a groove, results will keep you going.
  • BarbieAS
    BarbieAS Posts: 1,414 Member
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    "You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."

    My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.

    Follow up question:

    When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?

    I definitely agree, assuming you put the word "want" is a slightly different light.

    I would completely un-scientifically venture that upwards of 95% significantly overweight people don't want to be overweight (you're always going to find the random few who love their extra pounds...bless their hearts). We all want to lose weight.

    But.....you have to WANT it. I mean "want" in that focused, driven, motivated way. Until you've fully gotten yourself to the mindset that it's time, you're ready, you're going to do it, and - most importantly - that it's worth the work you need to put into it, it's not going to happen. (And, even if you have gotten to that mindset, you might have a couple of pauses and slip ups and false starts...it happens.) And it's ok if you're not there yet, but it's even better if you are.
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
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    Here watch this. then get yourself to the gym.


    http://youtu.be/iItgeWUeQ_4


    ps, your mom is right.
  • brandi712
    brandi712 Posts: 407 Member
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    "Choose your hard"; as some would say. :smile:

    LOVE THIS
  • Kadoober
    Kadoober Posts: 289 Member
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    When the desire to lose weight outweighs the desire to eat poorly and not exercise, you will do what you need to do to lose the weight.

    I would imagine that the answer to your follow up question varies from person to person. My suggestion? Fake it til you make it! You may not enjoy the exercise, and adjustments to your diet at first, but once you see the benefits I'll bet you become a fan :)
  • thevoice1973
    thevoice1973 Posts: 55 Member
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    Rationalizing our bad habits is one of the key problems a lot of people face on MFP; I have done it as well, and it really is the most difficult thing to change. To realize that we truly are making excuses.

    Sure, the work is hard. So is heart disease and diabetes. Eating healthy is more complicated until you get the hang of it and then, it's as easy as any other form of eating, with the side benefit of feeling better.

    I know that you stated that you didn't want to work hard or eat healthy, but subconsciously, you must want to do something, as you've joined MFP. So are you being honest with yourself or are you simply trying to find someone else to back your rationalization? The first responder was "nice" but I get a feeling that you may receive some harsh truth from other MFP members.

    It really comes down to one thing: are you willing to sacrifice your future for the present? Because that's exactly what's happening right now!

    Good luck
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    She is right in a way, you will lose weight when you want that more than you don't want to work for it, then the losing weight wins.

    I think it works both way, some people wake up and have a new resolve that drives them to success. Some people just kick their own butt into gear and find later that they developed a love for a certain exercise or something. Some people, like me, go through phases of both.

    My suggestion is to try to figure out what you really want to lose the weight for, write a few reasons down, and put them somewhere you will see them all the time, maybe in the kitchen to remind you of why you want to eat healthy. Weight loss can also be a frustrating journey, the scale can be a tricky monster, but I get alot more satisfaction out of fitness related goals than I do a number on a scale. Find something you like to do, and decide you want to do it better!

    Good luck finding your motivation :)
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    My initial reaction upon reading the statement was that your mother is an idiot. When I read your explanation I realize that your mother is exactly correct.

    Look, for anything in life there are a million reasons to do it and a million reasons not to do it. All of them are valid. You've been choosing from the "Not to" side. That's your right and no one should judge you for it. However, making that choice and then complaining about the consequences is just annoying. If you want to make that choice, and again it is a valid choice, then don't complain about being heavy or out of shape. Accept both sides of your choice.

    As for when you will choose differently, that's entirely up to you. Every day is a new opportunity to choose. Maybe tomorrow you will choose differently, Maybe you never will. Just know that when you do there will be a lot of folks here willing to help.
    ^^^TRUTH
  • Tffanie4712
    Tffanie4712 Posts: 115
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    I would say both.If you really want something you will do what it takes no matter what to achieve the goal(hopefully its legal)B.A.M (by any means).and the other thing that it is hard,but if you make small little changes instead of drastic ones you will be able to adjust.We are all here to support you.If we didnt support you we wouldn't have became friends.Just take it one day at a time there's no rush because rushing becomes short term and then your back at square one.You have been doing great Jess just keep at it quitters never become winners.I know for a fact you are a winner :)
  • 4realrose8
    4realrose8 Posts: 117 Member
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    You have to hit your bottom, something that motivates you like nothing else. That is when you'll succeed.

    And, for me, it does matter what and how I eat. Certain foods cause me cravings, binges and failure and I have to avoid them.
  • PolacaFL
    PolacaFL Posts: 213 Member
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    Don't over think it. Just start counting today. No need to overwhelm yourself with eating healthy and exercising and completely changing your routine. Start by simply counting your calories first. Fast food are usually high in calories so eventually you will eat less of it and more of the things that let you stay within your daily allowance. I'll eat a sandwich once in a while but I can't afford the french fries with it.
  • vrflaherty1
    vrflaherty1 Posts: 2 Member
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    When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?

    For me it a little bit of both. I've been on MFP for YEARS and just now (today) I have logged my food and tried to eat well/exercise for 30 consecutive days. For me, I just had to stop making excuses....'I don't have anyone to do this with me' 'I work too much' ' My work is too stressful' 'I hate healthy food' 'people at the gym will laugh at me'....on and on and on.

    When you are ready to stop making those excuses, (because that's what they are) you will just do it.

    Good Luck! There are a lot of really sweet people here that will help you! :flowerforyou:

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