Do you agree with this statement?

Mr_Knight

When will I know that I want to do it? ... Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?

Why do you believe there is a difference between those two?

Michael Jordan "wanted" to play basketball - that doesn't mean he didn't have to *force* himself into huge sacrifices to actually play basketball at the level he played at.

Shari325

TheVoice1973

It really comes down to one thing: are you willing to sacrifice your future for the present? Because that's exactly what's happening right now!

This was the key for me. I am almost 50, and I have been morbidly obese all of my adult life (at one point I weighed almost 400#). I've tried to lose weight more times than I can count. When I realized that bag of chips or that doughnut was slowly killing me, I started losing weight. To me, eating "junk" was like taking small doses of poison every day. It is the cumulative effect that kills you, not a single bite.

Would I rather have a box of chocolates, or be able to play with my grandchildren? Do I need to eat a pound of chocolate, or will one piece satisfy that sweet craving?

4ever420

Itll click one day.

For 2 years I was like "I want to lose weight" and never did anythong about it.
Then in 2012, just woke up and did something about it.

You may want to lose the weight but your mind might not be in the place yet where you can do it.

This is me. This time around something just "clicked" in my brain, it's so hard to explain to people. It immediately just felt different this time than all the other times and it's been easier for some reason.

lavendy17

I didn't read everyone's input, but someone wise told me a long time ago:

"Weight gain is a symptom. You cannot fix a symptom."

You struggle with the hard work because fighting the fat requires mountains of will power, and humans are not good at using will power for long. Moreover, the more you exert will power the more sugar your brain wants.

So, it's time to stop looking at weight loss as a time frame in which you summon all you mental power, deprive yourself and drag yourself to the gym. What you want to do is start by uncovering bad habits that you have, understanding the underlying issue and deal with them one by one.

For example- one day when I was counting my WW points plus, I ate a lot. I ran out of weekly points, and I had barely enough points left for dinner. On top of that, the dishes piled up not just in the sink but all around the counter. I was HUNGRY, I was MAD, and I was TIRED. I just wanted CAKE!
Then, because I was on the WW program, and I ran out of points, I kinda felt compelled not to give in and deal with it. I realized at that moment that after I have cake I will still be hungry, I will have no more points left for dinner, and the dishes are still going to be there.
I took a breath, let go of the stress, dealt with the dishes and made a salad. I felt so much better.

When you choose poorly, take a moment to think about it. Will this food do for you what you need right now? Maybe a better food will do a better job? Maybe the answer isn't even food.

One last point- if you find habits that you can change easily to better ones, tackle them first.
Example- eating breakfast at home and not buying a muffin at Starbucks (I used to do that...).
Example- replacing one can of soda with a fruit cup


Our weight gain comes from many sources. Sometimes you just need to learn what they are and deal with them one by one, starting with the easiest.

OverDoIt

Do you agree with this statement ? I am an alcoholic. My wife tells me that I need to stop drinking to quit. I really want to quit but, I really like to drink. What should I do ? I am sorry, I will not mince my words as to waste your time or mine. I can give you all types of witty quips, and motivational one liners but is that gonna help you? Do you just want everyone to say oh, it's ok sweety it will come in time. The fact is the now is the time !!!!!! Right now, anything that is worth doing is not going to be easy. You need a proverbial wakeup call. I was an alcoholic for 20 years, yup 20. It took a lengthy jail visit to make me understand that I was not making the right choices in life. Go to the doctor and see what type of shape you are in. If you are healthy then by all means continue your current habits. If you have an eating disorder, see a specialist, and join a support group. Getting off your duff and doing something about it other than typing is step #1. If you value life and your family at least do them a favor and stick around a little longer than you might have. I tell you this because I care, and I am on a mission to help those who ask for it. Now go do something RIGHT NOW !!!!

suziepoo1984

Yup! I was chubby(still slightly am), throughout my whole life, but nothing made me want to lose weight or even when i did, keep it off! Eating was far more fun(still is)
But after having my daughter and with me about to turn 30, something clicked within me this time! I am in it for life now, i am sure of that.
I have been so inspired by the people here on MFP, my FL. I have learnt so much here, there is no going back!

YesJessYes

Just my opinion...

Being fat is hard.
Dieting is hard.
Maintaining is hard.

Choose your hard.

rondaj05

So many great responses here. There is no right response bc everyone's moment will be different.

When you're ready, you will know and and you'll do what you need to do. In the meantime, one poster said it well... you have to own your choices and the outcome of your choices.

Good luck!! :flowerforyou:

SoDamnHungry

You can want it without losing weight. It's more of the question of if you want it badly enough to work for it.

I WANT a cupake. The fact that I didn't drive out to the store to get one today doesn't mean I didn't want it. It just meant I wasn't willing to put in the effort to obtain what I desired.

doughnutwretch

Sounds like in your case, it is accurate. You don't want to put forth effort, so really you don't WANT to not be fat anymore. When you want it you'll make the changes to accomplish your goals. Until then, you're just spinning your wheels.

JohnsElan

When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?

An epiphany would be good ... It would be better than the bluntforcetrauma of your physician saying you have [diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, morbid obesity]. You can't choose which one to insert here because it is a gamble of fate which one will happen. But if you choose not to do something about them, choices will be made for you.

SunofaBeach14

Yes, I agree. Either do it or stop complaining.

cathy3457

Some people find this advice helpful so I'll just throw it out there:

Pretend you are a robot. Know what you have to do and do it like a robot would. Eventually it will get easier.

(Kind of like "fake it 'til you make it")

I was just scrolling down to post this and you beat me to it! For me when I have fallen off the horse I need to do the "Fake it till you make it" method. It sucks for a week or so and then becomes part of my routine and THEN I start to enjoy it a little.

nlb1106

I found this site and all of a sudden I knew I could it finally

bcattoes

I think your mom is more or less right, but it would be more correct to say:

"You're not losing weight because you don't want it badly enough. When you really want to lose weight, you will."

When you want to get to a healthy weight more than you want to overeat and be lazy, that's when it will happen. It could be an epiphany, or a decision based on some health problem, or a hard fought battle of wills between your chubby and thin inner selves.

PinkyFett

I don't because I have hashimoto's and I really want to lose weight, I eat pretty well, work out, still don't lose. Illness isn't a choice.

_Resolve_

She is 100% correct, until you are ready to fight for it and do anything to get it you aren't ready,

rml_16

I don't because I have hashimoto's and I really want to lose weight, I eat pretty well, work out, still don't lose. Illness isn't a choice.

The OP specifically said she doesn't want to eat right and exercise. You are throwing an argument into this thread that isn't relevent and hasn't been postulated.

frenchfancy123

for me it was when i stopped focussing on how many calories were in the food and over exercising with restricted calories and when i started planning strength orientated workouts with cardio and upped my calorie intake to my bmr. then whatever i ate, i ate healthy, nutrient rich food. never looked back

it sounds as if your idea of exercise is an hour on the treadmill and that isnt very appealing to the vast majority of us. i would use the blogilates beginners calender to get started. i love her videos and her body positive attitude x good luck

SapiensPisces

"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."

My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.

Yes. When you're ready and want to change (barring medical issues), the work won't seem so bad, because the results will be more valuable to you.

Follow up question:

When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?

I can't answer for everyone else, but it kinda was an epiphany to me. That was due to me being in a big pile of denial about my weight for a long time and shocking reality of actually realizing how fat I'd gotten. Once I fully comprehended it, that was it for me, though the mechanics of weight management were difficult for me to deal with. It took me a long time, but I didn't give up, because no matter how much I struggled with eating well and/or exercising, I hated being fat more.

You don't have to lose weight until you're ready, but I would suggest trying to not gain any more if you can avoid it.