Do you agree with this statement?
Replies
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"I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that."
I saw this on Pinterest a few weeks ago, and it's exactly what happened to me when I decided to get serious about getting back into shape.
How will you know that you want to do it? Only you know that. It might be tomorrow when you get dressed and hate the way you look in your clothes. It might be next Tuesday when you're out of breath from walking up a flight of stairs. It might be a month from now when you realize you've eaten an entire bag of Doritos without even realizing it. Or it might not be any of those things.
Don't wait for a "sign."0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
In the grander sense, yes, I agree with it. But I'd modify it to "You're not losing weight because you don't want to do the work. When you really want to do the work, you will."
For me, the epiphany was WANTING to work out and change my eating habits. I knew it was going to be really hard and that there would be days when I didn't feel like doing it. But I was genuinely interested in making the effort. That was the difference between "wanting to lose weight" and finally doing it.0 -
You will lose weight when you want to be slender MORE than your desire to eat comfort foods or not workout. For over a year I've been on MFP half heartedly. Oh, I wanted to lose weight. But I succumbed more often than not to eating that burger and fries or skipping workouts. My weight stayed the SAME for that entire year. Then, in the month of January, I lost 8 lbs. What was different was at that point, losing weight was more important to me than enjoying the foods I wanted or doing sedentary activity instead of exercising. It's like a scale in your head - you might WANT to lose weight, but right now the desire for other things that counteract weight loss is winning.
In the last couple weeks, I've given into my "other" desires more than my weight loss desire. As such, I'm now up 5 lbs again. :-( Frankly, the last couple of weeks, I've just wanted OTHER things more (read: foods I want to eat and not feeling like exercising.)0 -
I agree with the statement. Alot of us want to lose weight but are not ready yet. When you are you will make the effort. I hate hate exercising but i know its part of the process. You some how get used to it just like having to go to work everyday. For now why dont you just start logging all your foods and it might shock you into slowly cutting back. Then for exercise you can start of by walking until you find something else you might enjoy. good luck.0
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"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
1.) "You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
I honestly thought the issue was you're busting your butt and it's not happening, but you follow it up with "I don't want to work out or eat healthy". So short answer to your first question is; yes I agree with that statement.
2.) When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
I think for most people they reach a point when they are tired of staying the same. They recognize that they want change. At the same time I think there comes a time when you realize there is no magic pill or quick fix. Nobody can spoon feed you and hold your hand everyday. So you wake up one day and say "today is the day" and you take that first step. You realize its not as scary as you imagined it and you do it again the next day (rinse repeat). Before you know it a week has gone by and you are kinda stoked. So you keep going.
Some days it's great, some days it sucks. But wondering about it will never satisfy you. Just find something that you like, anything at all. Commit to doing that one thing for X amount of time...and see what happens. :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't know if 'want' would be the word I would use, maybe 'ready' would be a better word. You will lose weight when you are ready to lose weight.
I have friends here on MFP and when they a MIA for a period I will just send them an e-mail and check-in to see if things are okay or if it is just not their time, it happens! No matter what when we are ready to accomplish something that we want or need we make it happen. I knew I would work on my weight and I also knew it would happen when I was ready, not a minute before. If you start it for the wrong reasons you will more than likely not stick with it.
Let your mother say what she wants and just know that for yourself when you are ready that is when it will happen.0 -
I see a lot of wisdom in this thread.
I think it's different for everyone.
For me, a lot of it was simple math. Ignorance about calories burned, calories consumed, or even a ROUGH guideline of what I should eat and how many calories my body might need. I mindlessly consumed hundreds of calories in candy & lattes without realizing it and when I tried to cut back and eat less, I limited my calories (unknowingly) to unhealthy lows which made it completely unsustainable. That's where MFP has come in so handy and helped make this all much easier for me.
BUT....It's also a mental/emotional thing for me. When I feel like others are judging me for my size, it angers me. In some ways I felt like it was an act of rebellion to be fat and not constantly dieting. When I was married to an obese man who hated himself for being fat, it made me feel ashamed of myself on some levels and that didn't feel very good. When we divorced (for other reasons) and I met someone new and felt very accepted and attractive, that's when something clicked for me that helped me to start losing a lot more weight than ever before. Because I felt better about my body. Not worse.
I have been big for my entire life, whether that "big" meant being the adult-sized 4th grader at a height/weight proportional 5'6" and 135 lb...or big as in, the fattest friend, the heaviest woman in my office at 307 lb. Big was part of me. And I liked me. I was rarely inconvenienced or even embarrassed about my size and usually viewed it as a fact of life. Some of that's still true for me. I don't feel like being 5'8" and 194 lb is bad or wrong. I am still overweight. I plan to lose more weight. But I will be honest here - I do not want it badly enough to want to work my tail off in the gym and get to 150 or lower. If I only lost 10-15 lb more, I'd be satisfied. I may never get that motivated...who knows.0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
A part of me does agree with the statement because when you are willing to make an effort, results will follow (and this pertains to everything!).
Shedding the weight is anything but easy. Its addressing the mental barriers we have created, and forcing ourselves to try new things. I know for me, its hard. I am a very picky eater, and a very emotional eater too and have my own personal demons I must conquer.
Last year I had started out on here, and had lost 16 pounds by just logging my food and staying under my allotted calories and then I added exercise. September came, and I had a personal issue, and I fell off the bandwagon all together. Today, I am back at it and all ready down 2 pounds (.5 pounds this weeks so far but not blogging until Monday!) and even when I HATE the way I feel, I push myself to go workout.
When you are ready, you will find a way to loose the weight. Start small. Add in some healthy food, maybe even just by replacing x (unhealthy) with y (healthy) in a main dish and instead of looking for the closest parking spot, park away from the crowd and walk a little further. Sneak it in, and you're body will start craving the 'extra' good stuff.
Good luck!0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
I understand what she is trying to say, but I don't think "want" is quite the right word. "Need" might be a better word - many people "want" to lose weight, but most of them fail because deep down they don't feel they *have* to lose weight. It's not about "wanting" it - it's about wanting it bad enough.
Basically, the day you put down the fork, push back from the table, and stay away from the table is the day you're ready. And no diet plan in the world - short of being physically restrained from accessing food - is going to work until you are ready.
I basically agree with mr_knight although I would add one additional dimension. Weight loss and physical fitness really takes a commitment of time, energy, effort, etc. For many of us, we allow life's daily pressures to get in the way and these goals are not prioritized. The day will come when that mindset changes and your priorities change. That will be your day. Good luck!!0 -
My motivation came a few yrs ago listening to some friends talk about all these cleanses and Advocare shakes and drinks. They would lose some weight only to gain it back. Of course they lost weight, they ate fewer calories and lost weight. So I decided to join MFP and do it the right way. I lost 25 lbs and maintained for over a year. I lost focus and stopped logging. Gained back 10 lbs. I decided to re-commit so I deleted my old account and re-signed up. I am not logging, tracking exercise and reading these motivational posts. I also remembered how great it felt to be happy in my own skin.
Just start tracking and think about why u want to get healthy. Who knows what your reason will be. I just don't want these women to say behind my back"see, I knew she could' keep it off"!!!!0 -
Ultimately if you want your life to change then you have to change the way you live. You're not going to get the results just from wishing it would just magically happen - and you're not going to get long term success unless you commit to making a long term change in your lifestyle habits.
If you want to be healthier, you need to live like a healthier person - eat better, exercise to improve fitness, etc.
If you want to be thinner, you need to live like a thinner person - eat less, exercise more.
If you want to be different, but you keep living the same way, you're just going to stay the same. Your mom is right - when the goal of weight loss becomes more important to you than eating whatever you feel like and not exercising, then you'll be ready to make some changes and will actually start to succeed. Until then, you're just spinning your wheels.
No one can make you want it. You have to come to that point for yourself.0 -
I gotta add a few things to this thread...
First of all, I think your mom isn't being very supportive. If someone were to say that to me it would make me feel really defeated.
Someone here said to replace 'want' with 'ready' and then I think it works.
Second, here's what finally nudged me: I went to the doctor for something unrelated and he weighed me after years that I haven't stepped on a scale. I was at my heaviest even though I felt ok with myself. I did the math, and thought- I gained 10lbs in 5 years. That's actually slow. But when I projected to the future that's 40lbs in 20 years, assuming the same rate of metabolism.
I would be 40lbs heavier in my 40's. That's A LOT! I couldn't allow that to happen and I knew it was time to turn around, get healthy and stay there.
You can do it! I know you can do it! I was in the same place as you, diets were depressing, and I just didn't want to go there. But learning to be healthy means finding a way to eat what you love, and love what you eat while still watching it. It doesn't have to be too hard. I promise you!0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
Working out is not necessary for weight loss. Only thing necessary is a calorie deficit so start there and then, when you're ready, add in exercise for toning and general health.0 -
I agree with your mom. You DO have to WANT IT enough to be willing to make some changes.
You don't have to necessarily work out or "eat healthy" to lose weight, but you do have to EAT LESS.
When you want to lose weight MORE than you want to continue your eating habits, you will do what you need to do.0 -
I agree with your Mom.
The only person standing in your way is YOU.
If you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen.0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
You don't actually want to lose the weight, then.0 -
I largely agree with her statement....
And, for me, it was a bit like an epiphany... I have PCOS and find it very difficult to lose weight without giving up carbs. I havdn't been able to make it thru the first couple days (much less couple weeks) of Atkins or South Beach in years. But, last January, I started a 60 days to change program at my kids' behest. 2 weeks in (at second weigh in), I promised the PT that I would truly try to log everything for just the next 2 weeks. So, I measured and logged everything. It was very eye-opening- I found I no longer had had any idea what a portion truly looked like. So I re-learned. I also didn't try to go through "induction"- I simply gave up sugars and starches while keeping fruits and veggies. And I was able to do it! Over the next couple weeks, I actually lose a couple pounds and that gave me a sense of both control over my own environment and that I COULD actually do this.
Long story short, I lost 42 lbs by November. i haven't really taken any more weight off as i fell off the tracking wagon over the holidays- but I "only" gained back 2 lbs and I have lost those again. I would like to lose more weight but I am really proud of how far I have come- I do TKD or HIIT type training 4-5 times a week, I have been doing strength training with TRX bands twice a week (and want to start weight training), and I have a healthier relationship with food- I rarely beat myself up over what I eat because I am now very AWARE of exactly what I am doing and am making a CONSCIOUS choice to eat those extra calories.
You will do this when you are READY and when you realize that you CAN0 -
Fake it 'til you make it. Just commit to 10 minutes a day. You will probably find that once you are moving, you just keep going for longer and longer.0
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I do agree. If I was eating the way I was and not exercising, I didn't want to lose the weight bad enough.
It took a large breakdown for me to finally get myself to do it.
One foot forward and try to take no steps back.0 -
Itll click one day.
For 2 years I was like "I want to lose weight" and never did anythong about it.
Then in 2012, just woke up and did something about it.
You may want to lose the weight but your mind might not be in the place yet where you can do it.
^this, i "played" at wanting to lose weight for so long and always failed, why, because i didn't want it enough, your mum is right,
you may lose weight, but until you are ready to jump in with both feet it won't work for you0 -
You're right, your mom is wrong. If you don't want to eat right or exercise then you won't lose weight. It's like... I'm not scared of heights, I'm scared of falling off of something tall.
It's been my experience that most people "hit a wall," if you will. Something happens in their lives (can't fit into their fav jeans, can't get on a ride at an amusement park, etc...) that is the final straw for them and they say "OK, I'm ready." From my observations you won't truly have success at weight loss until you hit your limit, whatever that may be for you. I can tell you what it WON'T be though, it won't be you doing it for a man, you doing it for your parents, you doing it for ANYONE ELSE, you have to be doing it for yourself or it won't work out in the end. Doing it to make someone else happy is never the right reason.0 -
I realy want to win the Powerball but considering I don't buy tickets most of the time, it's not too likely to happen is it?
If you REALLY WANT something, you have put the work in to get it. Period, end of story.
I went through the same struggle. I'd try to lose weight to please my family or my boyfriend or for a wedding or for a high school reunion. It wasn't until I finally decided I needed to do it for myself - my health, my self worth/self esteem, my longevity, my mobility, etc - that it finally hit home. While I was obese for the first 18 years of my adult life, I mostly just accepted it. It might bother me now and then but I was mostly happy and not willing to put the work in to keep diets going ("diet" being the operative word here). I'd rather eat the foods I liked and be lazy and continue convincing myself that it was perfectly fine.
Then 2009 happened. I was gaining even more weight and when I tried to do things, I found I was getting embarrased - couldn't walk around much without getting winded, wardrobe dwindling due to things not fitting any more, too large to easily get in and out of the boat, etc etc. After several months, I finally faced facts and decided it was time to stop BSing myself and finally make a change. And this time I wasn't doing it for anyone but me (for example, My Mom offered to pay for Weight Watchers and I said no thanks, I got it) and I wasn't going to do a "diet". I was going to keep eating the foods I enjoyed, just in smaller portions and with slight tweaks to make them healthier/lighter. And I was going to move more.
Not so much an epiphany but a reason. What is your reason WHY you want to lose weight? Just because society thinks you should be skinnier or because you really want to be healthier, fit, more mobile, able to do more, have more energy, etc.
If you don't find a good enough reason, it's never going to happen. If you REALLY WANT it, you'll find a good enough reason to put the work in.0 -
Fake it 'til you make it. Just commit to 10 minutes a day. You will probably find that once you are moving, you just keep going for longer and longer.
Yes. "Just this meal" I won't overeat, "just for today" I will count my calories, "just for today" I will log in...Those days add up and when you know it you lost weight. THEN you will WANT to continue and will feel motivated to continue on.0 -
Jessica -- I have had similar issues that you've had. I think this may be somewhat true for people that have no underlying issues. But, I suspect that a lot of people that carry excess weight have issues that they're not aware of and that's the blockage.
Those issues could be emotional (i.e causing self-sabotage), psychological or physiological. I'd thought for years that I just didn't want it enough too --- I'd been eating at a 700 daily calorie deficit to just maintain my weight. Over 3 months, that would be a weightloss of 15-18 for "normal" people. I saw doctors several times over the years and all just said the same thing -- eat less and exercise more.
I only recently found out that it isn't my lack of desire but an underlying issue -- I have both Hashimoto's (a thyroid condition) and insulin resistance. None of my previous doctors even checked for these issues. I know many others that have PCOS, which often comes with insulin resistance (and the accompanying weight gain or difficulty losing weight). I suspect this is true for a lot of people out there, but our cases aren't severe enough to warrant merit from most doctors and we're just sent home told to eat less and exercise more.
I also feel so much better eating a Paleo/Primal diet and now I know why -- something that's often suggested for those of us with Hashi's.
So, you too may have an underlying issue that just hasn't been found, and like many of us, you may have to trial and error before you get there. I wish you the best!0 -
This is so AWESOME! Love it! "Go Big, OR Go Home!" I think the others on here are right. You have to have a desire to do the work. It's not easy, but it is within your ability. It's up to you, not any one else, to make the changes you need to make to be healthier, thinner, stronger and whatever else your goals may be.0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
Why surrender to anyone else's reality? You set your own limits. And stop letting other people's words hurt you. If this is something you want, then go after it. Commit and execute.
An orchestra's conductor must turn his back to the audience to make beautiful music.
I know you can do it if you put your mind to it.0 -
I agree with you mom.
Currently you value eating the "yummy" foods in larger quantities than is healthy over a healthy moderate diet. I also don't like exercising, and I love delicious foods, but I've put being healthy at a higher value than overindulging. For me there was no epiphany, I simple said to myself one morning "that's enough now". And that's been it. My hubby was the same as you, and I said the same thing to him as your mom said to you, that he didn't want it bad enough. He was a bit resentful that I said it at first, but it was true. Than one day he just said... it's not worth it, being annoyed about his weight but doing nothing about it, and I had at one point just told him to stop complaining and either 1.be happy with his weight, or 2.do something about it.
Maybe you're just not in the head space yet, but one awesome part of our brains is we can trick them, so you can really "fake it till you make it" try doing just a little a day, don't make a ton of massive changes all at once.
Good luck!0 -
http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/2014/02/myfitnesspal-a-community-fit-for-a-king/
I just posted above, then I read this blog post and I think it is a must read. I still think that you have to have the drive and desire to make the necessary changes in your life, but you also need to find the supports that will help you along the way. We are all trying to better ourselves for our health, physique or whatever and can support one another to reach our goals.
Good luck to you and feel free to add me is you wish.0 -
I think it depends on the person, family, motivation, and many other factors. But for me, I seen my sister have heart attacks, my mother go through triple by pass surgery, my other sister diabetic and I knew early on that my health was very important to me. I started working in my early 20's and have kept it over the years. But this year I turn 50, I'm not ready to slow down. So I turned up the heat on my workouts and more conscience about what I eat.
Listen to your inner self...he/she will never lie to you! :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with her statement.
when I was 286lbs I had made attempts at losing weight but nothing really stuck. In a sick way, being overweight worked for me. It was my identity, I hid behind my weight. It was the perfect excuse as to why I didn't win something/get picked/get that job/get the guy - the old "I didn't get chosen to compete in the speech competition because I'm fat", not because I wrote my speech in a mad rush the night before. My weight was my excuse, my security blanket.
I really had to look inside myself and figure out who I was without the weight. And ask myself uncomfortable questions. And get into the issues. Then I started to change my life. Changed the way I looked at myself and I started to lose the weight and lose my security.
Wow - that was way too personal but I hope that it might help.
xx0
http://youtu.be/iItgeWUeQ_4
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