How big of an age gap do you have between you and your S.O.?

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KeriA

I am 9 months older than my husband but he was in my same grade in school although I didn't know him until we were almost finished with Grad school. When you are a baby 1 month is a world of difference but as you get older this age difference lessens so that by the time you are in your mid 20s and older quite a few years makes no difference at all. Other things are more important. You might consider if your generation makes the way you look at things differentl and is that a problem for you. I think your values are the most important to consider if/when you make a lifetime commitment. Even if you do not plan to have a family would you want this person raising your kids? If not I would think about it before making a serious commitment. It is not age that is the most important it is how that person treats you, how well you know that person and later if you have the same basic core values. My husband and I are very different and that keeps things interesting to me but we share core values. However some people want someone who they are like. It is really compatibility that matters sometimes this is being similar and sometimes it is being complimentary. A caution may be that some older men are not secure enough for women their age. So if he is drawn to you because there are interests and values you share that is healthy. If it because of insecurities then you would need to think about that. If you are not that serious it may not matter but then I feel like a relationship dies if it cannot grow so if there is something that is a deal breaker it will affect a relationship even if both people are not ready for commitment.

karenjoy

My husband is 11 years older, the only real issue is that as he was 48 when we met and I was 37, we can't have any children of our own (I am now 44, we married last year) we really only could have decided on children in the first two years or so in our relationship. I already have a 22, a 19 and an 18 year old so it's not like I don't have any, but we don't have our own child. But that is to do with our current age and not the gap.

reesepieces

i have a friend in OK where he is 25 and his girl is 40-something, late 40s.

on the other hand, my boyfriend is 6 months older than me. that's it.

i think it is ur own preference. I'm 24 and my cut-off for dating someone is 30. I don't really know why but that's just my own standards I have set for myself.

nicolina823

My fiance is just over 10 years older than me. He has one child. He also wants to have more children. He'd like 3 more but I'll say 2. I'd be fine with 1 or none though.

We do get strange looks though sometimes but whatever. He was never my type and people always say hes not your type what are you doing? It just sort of happened. We'll be together for 4 years in a few months and still happy.

I say go for it and dont care what people think or say. Its what you feel that matters.

♥jewelchristian♥

I am 11 years older than my husband. Yes, I'm a cougar :laugh:

Kminor67

My husband is 6 years older than me, and I'm constantly teasing him about robbing the cradle, but I don't really mean it. I look at it this way. Age is just a number. If you're happy, he fulfills your needs and you fulfill his, you're compatible, and have common goals, it doesn't matter how old you are. Now if you were under 18 I would change my opinion.... but really, who cares as long as you're happy?

Rynatat

There is 4 years, he's younger Although, our roommate is 38 and his GF is 27.

In my opinion, age really is but a number: what matters is if you get a long, can talk and enjoy each other's company :happy:

Behavior_Modification

6 years - he's older

Learning2LoveMe

For me, its only gross if he is old enough to be your Dad. :laugh: I had a friend who was dating a guy that was 42 when she was 20, that was kinda gross to me. He was a really nice guy and everything, but seriously... he could have been her Dad.

My fiance is a year and a couple months older than me. The biggest gap I've had is when I dated a guy 4 years older than me. Other than him, all of my S.O's were within a year of my age.

aippolito1

My boyfriend is 4 years older. He's 25, and I'm 21. I've always gone for older guys but I don't think I could do more than 4, just because at this point, I realize we won't have kids until he's pushing 30 and then we're going to be "older" parents, y'know? That's MY only concern.

boogie17

my fiance is 2yrs older than me!!!

pressica

These are some very interesting comments. Thanks everyone who responded. It is a new relationship, and I guess I want to make sure I know how I feel about it before too many feelings get involved. I am not really insecure about it, just curious. Keep it coming. The good, the bad, and the ugly my MFP peeps.

YourFriendBecky

My ex-husband was six years older than me, but he's 13-14 years older than his new wife, and seems happier with her. : ) Then again, he was always one of those who was attracted to younger women... sometimes shockingly younger women... who would look up to him. He always had a really big need for attention and approval.

lilRicki

My mom always said as long as he loves you and treat you right, than it doesn't matter how old he is...my fiance and I are only 2 years apart but my sister and brother-in-law are 11 and they're an amazing couple

susiewusie

I am 7 years older ,been together 20 years this January ,no one said it would last as we met on a Sat and he moved in the following week!
The only time I notice an age difference is with music ,if I hear something from when I was about 18 he will say I was still in junior school lol .

Lisamarie1226

I am 11 years older than my husband. Yes, I'm a cougar :laugh:

YAY! Thank GOD there is another one of us posting on here ;-)

I am about to turn 35 and my boyfriend of 2 years just turned 22. I have always dated within 3-5 years up or down. I really never got into the whole "significantly OLDER" than me thing.... just not for me. I once dated a guy that was 42 when I was 24, just not MY thing. But to each her own.

I met my BF at the gym in spin class. We were friends first (read my Blog "Confessions of a Cougar in Training" if you want -- it's archived for this month) and HE pursued me. I wore size 18 jeans from Lane Bryant on our first date and we BOTH got carded trying to see an R rated movie. Now my size 10 jeans from Old Navy are quite baggy!

Yes, we have a big age difference but I've never been treated better in my whole dating career. We now have a townhouse together and live with our 2 rambunctious dogs, our sweet "baby girls". He's in his second year of law school and is getting ME in the best financial shape of my life. He's so good to me!

Age is only important if that's what you chose to focus on.

Good luck to you!

MzBug

7 years here, I am the older. Met him on a singles site, both of us were seeing multiple people for the first year. It just kind of evolved that we dropped the other people and were just seeing each other. We bought a home together 3.5 years ago. It is a fair trade...he spoils me, I spoil him. Only 1 fight the first week we moved in and none since.

Mangoose

I'm younger than my girlfriend by 4 years.

The 'rule' for dating is half your age and add 7, so for me, I'm 26, so (26/2)+7 = 20, which sounds about right. I wouldn't go lower than 24 though

TateFTW

I'm 27 and my wife is 23. We started dating when I was 25 and she wasa 21. We first met when I was 20 and she was 16. Personally I don't consider it a big gap at all, though it would have been if we had dated when we first met, of course. Personally I consider all bets off after 25. If you're both down, then do your thing.

havingitall

I'm 8 months older than my husband. He should respect his elders!

mamabearr

I'm 21 and he's 25

Sauchie

My S.O is 4 years younger then me. But whatever makes you happy go for it right? My friends hubby graduated with my mom & shes 2 yrs older then me....

vitij002

My husband is 9 years younger than me. Been happily married for 5 years and we have a toddler age 3!

lynne_p

My husband is 16 years younger than I am. We've never had any problem in regards to "age difference." We met through work and he pursued me.

sgp329

The age difference between myself and my sweetie is almost 15 years. We have been together for nearly 10 years (our anniversary is October 11) and have both never been happier. We are completely different, but insanely alike. Between the two of us, we have 7 children. Two are mine from a previous marriage and the other 5 are his from previous.

If you get along well and share some common ground and enjoy each other's company, then go for it!

agdeierl

I have you beat! I am about to turn 23 and my wonderful boyfriend is going to turn 39 this year! A lot of my friends were shocked when I first told them, and I never EVER would have thought I would even consider dating someone that much older than me, but from the first time I saw him, we had this insane connection that goes beyond the age difference. The more I got to know him, I grew to like him SO much that I realized I didn't give a damn about his age. Plus, he is SEXY. He is almost 39 but all my friends thought he was 28 when they met him for the first time last year! Deciding to date him despite the age difference was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Yes, older guys sometimes have a little more baggage (my boyfriend was married twice before -- though neither one was legal--and only for like a month each...he was really wild when he was my age, but he's settled down so much now), but he's the first guy I've been with that knows exactly what he wants and is mature and supportive. I never got that with a guy my age, ever. He is patient and compassionate even on my worst days when I am acting a little b*tchy. I love him dearly.

Scorpiomom222

My hubby and I are 10.5 years apart. He's older than me. We started dating when I was 16, and it was a biiiiiiiiiiig no-no. Needless to say, when I ended up preggo at 16,my mom wanted to castrate him. I'm 20 now, and have another child who will be one in October.

HealthyChanges2010

Curious that you used the word 'gross' regarding your relationship, is it something you worry about yourself or worry about what others think? That can be a huge problem in itself.

I know at 25 I was a kid (keep in mind I'm looking back and sure didn't think I was one then, I was Cool then! :laugh: we all were in our 20's or so we thought) at 37 I was in no way where I was mentally in my 20's. I don't know if this is something casual or you're looking more down the road seriously, marriage or something. But might consider when you're 40...he'll be..... etc.. sometimes that helps to realize what you'll have in common with a mate that is older by a number of years.

Scorpiomom222

Curious that you used the word 'gross' regarding your relationship, is it something you worry about yourself or worry about what others think? That can be a huge problem in itself.

I know at 25 I was a kid (keep in mind I'm looking back and sure didn't think I was one then, I was Cool then! :laugh: we all were in our 20's or so we thought) at 37 I was in no way where I was mentally in my 20's. I don't know if this is something casual or you're looking more down the road seriously, marriage or something. But might consider when you're 40...he'll be..... etc.. sometimes that helps to realize what you'll have in common with a mate that is older by a number of years.

My grandparents are 10 years apart. He's 76, and she is 66. They started seeing each other 48 years ago, and have been married 46, so, I see no reason why the progressed age and the age GAP together would be a concern.