Husband eats what he wants/ I'm trying to lose weight

deksgrl

I can relate!

My boyfriend and I recently moved in together....however we've both been gaining weight since we started dating a couple years ago. He has only gained a few pounds, and will shed them in the summer the minute he starts running again. I, however, have always struggled with my weight and am finally ready to do something about it!

He is very supportive, but he talks about food all the time, and comes home and tells me about the burger or pizza he had for lunch that day. I have tried to enlist him as a work out buddy, a cooking buddy, etc...but he just isn't really into it.

I have finally just decided that if he won't do it with me, I can't make him. I do the shopping and cooking for the most part, so he is just going to have to deal with the fact that I am not going to buy junk food anymore, or cook fattening dinners, and the fact that I am now waking up an hour earlier to work out.

I know he will still support me, but at this point I have to do this for ME and set my own rules....not leave it up to him.

frangrann

My husband is supportive but he is also tall and thin....seems like a common thread. He will make an ice cream sundae at 9 pm and eat it in front of me!

I guess you just need to want to lose and know how good you will look and feel after you have! Thats the reward!

jofjltncb6

I can relate!

My boyfriend and I recently moved in together....however we've both been gaining weight since we started dating a couple years ago. He has only gained a few pounds, and will shed them in the summer the minute he starts running again. I, however, have always struggled with my weight and am finally ready to do something about it!

He is very supportive, but he talks about food all the time, and comes home and tells me about the burger or pizza he had for lunch that day. I have tried to enlist him as a work out buddy, a cooking buddy, etc...but he just isn't really into it.

I have finally just decided that if he won't do it with me, I can't make him. I do the shopping and cooking for the most part, so he is just going to have to deal with the fact that I am not going to buy junk food anymore, or cook fattening dinners, and the fact that I am now waking up an hour earlier to work out.

I know he will still support me, but at this point I have to do this for ME and set my own rules....not leave it up to him.

Makes sense. Good approach.

However, just to be clear, a "fattening dinner" is any dinner where you eat too many calories. (I think I know what you're saying, but literally interpreted, assuming there are enough potential calories on the table, any meal can be fattening.)

huneydrop

I know it sucks when people eat things you love in front of you but you have to realize that that is the real world and it won't change once you lose the weight so you gotta move past it. You can't control what other people do so don't try. Just focus on you.

My hubby eats lots of stuff I don't and sometimes I drool over it but I always say he can eat what he wants and to to not change because of me. It doesn't help me to not be around it, it helps me to be around it and fight through it and it does get easier with time. I think my hubby could stand to lose a few but that is for him to decide.

And my gawd the office, why does there have to be like 100 tables set up with donuts, candy, bagels, etc.??? No wonder there is a weight problem in society, we can't stand to be away from food for a minute! I'm somewhat of a germaphob (sp??) so I don't touch any of it for that reason as well lol

CrabcakesRavensnOs

It's all about portion sizes. I can cook anything for dinner but I know where my limits are. I made chicken fajitas one night for dinner but instead of using a tortilla I put all the fajita contents over a bed a of spinach. I let him do his plate how ever he wanted but I measured everything which hit my plate. I have been successful in losing weight but I do not deprive myself of things. I still eat chick file and 5 guys because its what he wants but I cut the burger in half, only eat a few fries, and plan ahead. I do not starve my self through the day but make sure what ever I eat balances with my exercise so I have the flexibility for my meal with him. I think I can attribute my success to my relationship with my food scale. You will lose when you learn and only eat portion sizes. A portion of mixed nuts at first looked like a joke but now its just right. I am 13lbs down with a goal to shed another 48.

SezxyStef

I live with my 32 yo husband and 20 yo son...they eat what they want, they don't work out, they stay fairly fit and trim.

If you saw my grocery cart you would think I had a split personality.

veggies, fruit, lean meats, skim milk, low fat cheeses, greek yogurt then...

oreos, fruit loops, canned spagetti crap, french fries, chicken fingers etc

Guess what it's all for me...well except the canned spagetti...ick.

I haven't changed what I eat just how much of it.

This weekend I bought a bulk pack of chocolate covered almonds and threatened my husband's life if he ate them....:laugh:

Support doesn't come from those around you depriving yourself, it comes from encouraging you to keep going when your will power is lagging, it's telling you how great you are doing and how proud they are of you, it's about building a squat rack for your birthday and buying bars and plates for you for christmas..and not interferring with your workouts by grabbing your boobies while in OHP position...(wait my husband does that...jerk):bigsmile:

cwolfman13

i don't understand why people are so angry, when the original poster was just looking for people committed to weight loss. it's difficult to watch someone eat chips, pizza, yummy things with no regard while you're trying to eat healthily. i think it's a fair point. it's much easier to stay on track when people are like-minded.

Nobody is "angry"...people are just pointing out how completely unrealistic it is to think that just because you're doing X, Y, and Z that everyone else will. News flash...living a lifestyle that is nutritionally driven and fitness centric is a pretty lonely one...most people do not live such a lifestyle...living such a lifestyle is going to mean that you're going to have to find whatever it is within yourself that you need to find to keep on keepin' on and rock your nutrition and fitness.

Snacks and chips and sodas in the break room aren't going away at work...friends and SOs with different dietary habits and exercise habits are just reality...I have like one friend who is actually into health, nutrition, and fitness...everyone else is pretty much SAD all the way and looks at anything more vigorous than walking the dog a few days a week as "excessive" and over the top, especially for "my age". Get used to it...it's reality...living this lifestyle is pretty much a go it alone kind of proposition in many respects.

jofjltncb6

I know it sucks when people eat things you love in front of you but you have to realize that that is the real world and it won't change once you lose the weight so you gotta move past it. You can't control what other people do so don't try. Just focus on you.

My hubby eats lots of stuff I don't and sometimes I drool over it but I always say he can eat what he wants and to to not change because of me. It doesn't help me to not be around it, it helps me to be around it and fight through it and it does get easier with time. I think my hubby could stand to lose a few but that is for him to decide.

And my gawd the office, why does there have to be like 100 tables set up with donuts, candy, bagels, etc.??? No wonder there is a weight problem in society, we can't stand to be away from food for a minute! I'm somewhat of a germaphob (sp??) so I don't touch any of it for that reason as well lol

I have found that what others eat around me and the tables of foods don't seem to affect my weight as long as *I* don't eat any/too many of them.

While this is just my own n=1, I suspect that it's a solution that may work for others too.

*shrug*

19TaraLynn84

OP was just looking for some support on here. She wasn't complaining about her husband eating what he wants. She never said she expected him to change his habits. I can't believe people read so much into it that she didn't say. It clearly looked like she was just asking for some friends to support her.

Adahbaby

Lol. I know the feeling! I was annoyed with my husband yesterday after a shopping trip from witch he brought home bacon and chips ice cream ect, and he planned to make burgers that night! agh! But after a min I realized whatever extra calories I take in I can jump on my bike and work off. I was able to have a smaller burger minus the bacon and chips and it worked out ok. By all means it's still frustrating, but no one is holding a gun to my head to lose weight or to keep piling it on. It's all on me.

deksgrl

OP was just looking for some support on here. She wasn't complaining about her husband eating what he wants. She never said she expected him to change his habits. I can't believe people read so much into it that she didn't say. It clearly looked like she was just asking for some friends to support her.

Everyone is giving their best support here. It is giving the bottom line, what helped me most in even getting ON this journey to begin with was the realization that nobody is going to do it for me, it's all on me to either do it or not do it. Now maybe that isn't what the OP needs to hear or wants to hear, but it worked for me. Maybe it will work for someone reading this.

Adahbaby

I know right! I thought the same thing when I read the responses she got. Like calm down ppl we all need a little support. Geez.

JoRocka

My husband is incredibly supportive but he eats whatever he wants.

I think that's key.

being supportive is one thing.

not eating what you are or how you are is not "not supportive"

two totally different subjects.

floridakathleen

thanks everyone. I needed to read these positive comments today. It is tough going when others can eat what they want, and you struggle just to lose 1/2 pound. Good luck to you.

19TaraLynn84

I know right! I thought the same thing when I read the responses she got. Like calm down ppl we all need a little support. Geez.

I think everybody was just fired up and ready for one of those, "My husband sabotages me by eating ice cream in front of me" threads. Lol!

foryoublue

People everywhere are going to be eating gross stuff you shouldn't be eating. It's more difficult when it's *in your home* and the food is there to eat, but your husband is not the source of the problem. You're just in a situation where you need to learn to be strong and really focus on your commitment to being healthier. Eventually you won't crave processed snacks and whatnot, and if you do, you'll have the control to allow yourself a treat here and there. But please don't put this on your husband, as long as he is emotionally supporting your decision to be healthy, and doesn't need/want to do the same, that's where you need to keep your focus. Not on his eating habits, unless he's really unhealthy in which case he needs to get on a good plan for his own health, not for your personal peace of mind.

Also, I had my husband hide snacks from me that I knew would be extra difficult for me to stay away from. He happily complied. I felt like *that* was amazing support. I didn't need him to abstain from his own food choices.

mic_ie

I totally know where you are coming from. Even though my fiance isn't necessarily being unsupportive, it doesn't help when he is eating pizza, fried chicken, and fast food all the time around me. It makes my chicken breast or salad seem so much less satisfying. Just smelling it makes me think I want it so bad.I am just getting back in the band wagon after losing 35 pounds when I got off kidney medication a few years ago and now have gained about half of it back. My goal weight is 15 pounds lighter than I am. A few things I am doing this time is eating a salad or other vegetable first and then whatever the main course is second. I use a small plate and even sometimes just put one thing on my plate at a time and get up to get the second thing just so I can trick myself into thinking I am eating seconds when I am not. You just need to find the little things that work for you. Don't get discouraged with a bad day and start out slow. Don't try to eat only healthy foods at once. Start slow until it's a habit and keep adding something new every week or two. Good luck!

luvmybabeez

I have no support but the support I make or ask for. I am trying to surround myself with like minded individuals who are in it for the long haul.

My husband eats what he wants to eat and that's just the way it is. I cook healthy, heart smart meals for my family and am trying to teach my children all of the things that I was never taught. I have learnt to turn a blind eye when it comes to hubby. It is super hard especially on weekends when he pulls through a drive through and orders what ever but I manage to do it. I bring healthy snacks for myself and lots of water.

Please feel free to add me as a friend if you would like additional support. Good luck on your journey.

littlelaura

that was my excuse for years, then finally I had to get over it because it doesn't matter control you , control what goes into your mouth and body and don't focus on excuses because one day your life might depend on you eating correctly. While it is nice to get support from a husband, partner, or anyone , sometimes you don't have that and just have to work around it.

Jeffs_Jess

I was watching a great documentary on weight loss the other day and it shared a phrase that I thought was very important.
Change your thinking from "I want it but I can't have it" to "I can have it but I don't want it".

It's hard when we don't have the support. My boyfriend eats a bit of junk and it's hard for me. Sometimes I give in. But ultimately, you're in control of Your body.