if you could go back...

Sinisterly

For my mom I would want to say goodbye. She passed before I could say a final goodbye and I wish I could have had that for closure.

-hugggg-
I am sorry to hear this.

Even though my mother has done me wrong, I will be going back to her pretty soon to help her deal with some problems in her life.

Although, I hate what she did to me, she knows I love her.
(She better, after killing most of my cellphone minutes lmaooo).

maab_connor

file a 1099 for the "under the table" stuff. and get life insurance.

JoanneC1216

Now that I have children of my own who turned into fine young adults, I wouldn't say anything to my parents. They had 4 of us, a year apart. God Bless them.

BinaryPulsar

I would tell my mom that when she realizes the man she has allowed to be my stepfather is in my bedroom and not hers that she should go upstairs and walk in on him, and then call the police. That would be a start. Or that any of the number of things she witnessed go way beyond "red flag". I really don't think there was much hope for my mother. Probably be best if I were able to have had the mind of an adult when I was a child, so that I could have taken care of myself and gotten help for myself.

I debated even engaging in this thread once I saw what it was about, but I had to say: eloquently put, as always. That's something I've had to work on for quite awhile--not holding my child self responsible for what I can see, say, and do for myself now as an adult.

Good way of putting it and always an important reminder!!

sillygoosie

Nothing. I would thank them for what they have done for me and keeping me on the right path. I would want to thank them sooner than when I had.

This. I am lucky to have amazing parents that taught me to think for myself and have always supported my decisions, wrong or right. I would also thank them for getting me the hell out of Texas at a young age, instead of *****ing about it the whole time.

I am truly sorry that a lot of you seemed to have a such rough childhood. :flowerforyou:

tchell99

I'm glad to see a handful of people have nothing to tell their parents wish that's how the majority was posting.
I'm sorry to everyone who's childhoods weren't in fact much of a childhood.
All families have their problems there ups and downs. But children deserve to children.

Most parents truly do the best they can...even the shi**y ones. It is then up to us as individuals to take that experience and do something useful with it. While resentment and bitterness may be well justified, we only continue to hurt ourselves by holding onto it.

Fabfitgirl5

Think investments and think Google, Apple...lol

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Get help for your depression. Also, take care of your health. Diabetes and high blood pressure are not to be taken lightly.

logicman69

I would tell my parents that they are doing a fantastic job. I might not always see their point of view when growing up, but the lessons that they teach will shape me into a pretty decent guy. I would only ask them not to ground me that one weekend in high school when I was supposed to go skiing. I missed out on meeting one of my childhood hero's that weekend.

lookinggoodkel

i'd tell myself i was worth more than a punch bag and she is beautiful and can have any man who is worth her time x

BinaryPulsar

I just want to say that honestly evaluating the past is how we break the cycles of abuse within a family and provide a healthy childhood for our own children. My own children have a genuinely good childhood, with two loving parents. And my issues are my own and not theirs. Of course all people will have issues and "hardships" and no parent can be perfect. Realizing we aren't perfect is actually part of being a good parent. But, there is a difference between the normal hardships of life, growing up, being human, being around other humans and actual criminal abuses and traumas. Sometimes those issues do not end in childhood, they are issues that can continue to be problematic between the parent and child through out life. But, that aside, I do deal with my own issues on my own. I actually do not expect my mother to be capable of something that she is not capable of. As far as she knows we have a good relationship. I simply keep it light with her and do not go deep. But, I am honest with myself.

Sinisterly

i'd tell myself i was worth more than a punch bag and she is beautiful and can have any man who is worth her time x

:flowerforyou:

itsfatum

Emotional hurdles are like going to the gym. Yeah sure, it hurts as f'ck, but you get stronger and stronger everyday.

I would change nothing. I'm the strongest person I know just because of the sh'it I've been through.

_chiaroscuro

Nothing. I would thank them for what they have done for me and keeping me on the right path. I would want to thank them sooner than when I had.

This. I am lucky to have amazing parents that taught me to think for myself and have always supported my decisions, wrong or right. I would also thank them for getting me the hell out of Texas at a young age, instead of *****ing about it the whole time.

I am truly sorry that a lot of you seemed to have a such rough childhood. :flowerforyou:

I think some have, and others, like me, aren't painting a complete picture. The good times far outnumbered the bad, it just happened that the bad stuff contributed to some challenges I have now, which was what the question was about I think.

mank32

teach her that regular exercise is a part of life--and the best treatment for fibromyalgia--so she won't feel the need (to try) to end hers at 29.

SweetTrouble_

Relax, keep doing what your doing everything will work out alright....

sheenarama

To not put me in beauty pageants as a kid. Comparing yourself to others lasts waaaay too long!

1shauna1

My parents were pretty great, but I would ask my dad to not take his tiredness after a long day at work out on us. Oh, and also to not encourage me to get into modelling as I'm pretty sure thats' where all my weight issues began.

ChristiH4000

Don't listen to all of the hateful things I'll say to you when I'm a teenager. I know you did the best you could.

rfw24

I would say thank you to my parents. They are human and were not perfect but did a damn fine job raising 3 boys. The one thing that I would want to say is help each of us with college information and getting us more college ready.

_Krys10_

I would just like to go back to the day I ignored my moms call because I was "too busy" and she passed away later that day

salembambi

too heavy for this forum

Sovi_

I would just like to go back to the day I ignored my moms call because I was "too busy" and she passed away later that day

Oh hon....Hugs. Just hugs.

missbp

To my dad . . . . Thank you for instilling a stong work ethic in me. And, I wish you would get control of your drinking.

To my mom . . . . Thank you for making sure I had a relationship with God. And, I wish you were strong enough to intervene when dad was acting like a drunk a-hole.

jessilyn76

Thanks.

firstsip

I just want to say that honestly evaluating the past is how we break the cycles of abuse within a family and provide a healthy childhood for our own children. My own children have a genuinely good childhood, with two loving parents. And my issues are my own and not theirs. Of course all people will have issues and "hardships" and no parent can be perfect. Realizing we aren't perfect is actually part of being a good parent. But, there is a difference between the normal hardships of life, growing up, being human, being around other humans and actual criminal abuses and traumas. Sometimes those issues do not end in childhood, they are issues that can continue to be problematic between the parent and child through out life. But, that aside, I do deal with my own issues on my own. I actually do not expect my mother to be capable of something that she is not capable of. As far as she knows we have a good relationship. I simply keep it light with her and do not go deep. But, I am honest with myself.

Quoting you again, but very much this, particularly the last part.

Learning that you can't, no matter what you did, change your parents because they are who they are, they did what they did, etc. is critical. It can be nice as an experiment to entertain the idea, and voice it here, and perhaps quite healthy to write down exactly what you'd ideally want to say... but understanding that sometimes abusive parents or neglectful parents, etc. etc., were not capable of being more or less than what they are is important for us as children of such parents.

I urge people reading to seek out "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward (which I found from a post on MFP, actually, many years ago!) if not actively in therapy, and to try and talk about some of these things with a therapist or counselor.

HawkeyeTy

Nothing.

I realize that my parents didn't do everything right, but they did their best...and I love them both for it so much

Happilynaked

WOW!!! I COULD WRITE A BOOK ON THIS TOPIC!!

The_Aly_Wei

CALM DOWN we will all live to see another day.

Also, nice try *high fives* i turned out fabulous

Unknown

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