Was this rude because the guy sure thought it was

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  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    Perhaps if you listened to my points rather than reiterating the same points, you may gain more understanding :).
    Lets take it a step further and say the gym also has a bar rack (some I've been in have a vertical stand for the bars).
    I don't think anyone would suggest replacing the bar in said rack, even if this is actually what the staff do at the end of the night would be a good idea. Because I'm confident the people posting here are the sort that would be using said Olympic bar there, rather than curling with dumbbells or whatever.
    It shouldn't be a big stretch to see that keeping a couple of plates on the bar could benefit a good number of people in places where said good number of people would start there warmup with at least that weight.

    In my experience, a large proportion of gym users don't care about replacing plates. One of the reasons they put the signs up. A smaller amount but still sizeable, the same for dumbbells.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    I would have been a smart *kitten* & said something rude. Can't stand rude people.
  • WakkoW
    WakkoW Posts: 567 Member
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    I didn't miss that you don't know who was going to use it afterwards, a made a case for it being more beneficial for more people to have the plates in question left ON. As it seemed this was some of the basis of the argument for taking them off.

    Also it only BECAME clear about this 'rule' in OP's gym after she made them put a poster up detailing it, it would seem.
    When I've seen such posters spring up at a previous gym I used (it didn't really change anything), I'm now wondering if it was a customer who complained and what sex said customer was :).

    Noting warm up weight, it was of course my experience and 'ymmv'. I have tried warming up with just the bar, but it doesn't seem worth it for me - 20kg isn't a significant amount extra and going up the long flight of stairs has probably done as much. A couple of months ago I was pleased to find that 70kg didn't feel like THAT much, but after being on a deficit for a couple of months it's certainly more noticeable now unfortunately!

    Oh and being English, your two insults don't really work - if you're going to find an appropriate insult, at least find it in the right language ;).

    (Also, I'm not sure if I've actually even stated an opinion per se, merely provided a counter argument to some of the points. Pretty sure I haven't stated what I would do in such a situation.)

    The only English insult I am familiar with is 'wanker'. If this is what you would prefer, I'm happy to oblige.

    But, I have lifted in dozens (literally) of gyms for close to two decades (yeah, I'm old), and unloading your bar is simple gym etiquette. It doesn't matter that the OP pointed out that it wasn't being done.

    This morning I was working on my jerk in the power rack. I'm a 135 pond female and I can't jerk 70kg on my best day (my jerk sucks, hence why I'm working on it). Even if I could jerk 70kg for a warm up, who is to say that the person leaving the weight on the bar is the same height as me?

    Sure, I can squat 70kg easily. Would I want to warm up with that at 6am?

    And as far as roommates and dishes, well doing the dishes once a month does not cover someone else doing the dishes every day.
  • Mrsallypants
    Mrsallypants Posts: 887 Member
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    If I were him I would tell you "I don't rerack for people weaker than me."
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!
    I get so tired of defending myself cause someone dosent like my " tone" when what they really dont like is being wrong. And why do we as women always assume we did something wrong when we try to be asserative. Good for you

    Damn. WELL PUT.

    To all the people saying "please would have been NICE" -- sure that's true. But I think the question is whether she was WRONG to not use it. She was not. She shouldn't have had to ask the guy in the first place. He was in the wrong and he doesn't get to complain that she wasn't being self-effasive enough when she corrected him.

    But then she doubles back afterwards, thanking repeatedly. It appears she wanted to make nice. We're just saying one way to accomplish that is to handle the situation without it being confrontational to begin with :wink: Rather than have to repair the situation, maybe avoid it being broke in the first place.
  • Arranna1212
    Arranna1212 Posts: 143 Member
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    It would be really annoying for someone, like myself, if someone didn't take off their weights. I'm not able to lift that much at all and it is really embarrassing and discouraging to find the squat rack or bench press full of heavy weights... Simply because I can't lift them. If I can't take off your 200 lbs of weights, how am I going to use the equipment? OP wasn't rude to the guy. He should of known to take care of his crap before moving on.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,678 Member
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    You were way more polite than I would have been. My favourite line is to ask very loudly "When will she get here?". When they turn and ask who I am talking about I say "Your mom. She is going to come and clean up after you, right? That's only fair since she didn't raise you to put away your own ****".
  • rollng_thundr
    rollng_thundr Posts: 634 Member
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    It's like everywhere else in life, it's about accountability. Some people don't feel that it's a big deal, and if it doesn't benefit them, they will decide not to support it. Right or wrong in their mind, if they aren't considerate, they will just walk away from weights/stationary bike, etc. leaving it sweaty and racked up with weights.
    It's a matter of principle to me. If I'm going to take the time to rack up the leg press with 7-8 45 lb. weights on each side, you're damn well right I'm going to re-rack them when I'm done.

    Damn primadonnas...
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    And as far as roommates and dishes, well doing the dishes once a month does not cover someone else doing the dishes every day.
    My point was, I did them most days while never having mine done for me by the other person.
    It didn't bother me because it wasn't really much hassle.
    It was a fair bit more hassle then taking a couple of plates of a bar for me.
    Which is why I don't get upset if I have to do so :).
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Sounds like he just didn't want to be called out for being a douche.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    He was feeling defensive because he'd been called out. I think it was probably equally awkward for the both of you. Don't even worry about it. It's all good. Next time you see him, kill the tension - smile and wave. Act like your last confrontation was a positive one. :flowerforyou:
  • MyRummyHens
    MyRummyHens Posts: 141 Member
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    He was being lazy, you called him out on being lazy, he wasn't happy about it. "Please" is only a requirement if you are asking for help/favor of someone. "Please could you spot me", "please could you let me know when you are finished" etc. All obviously followed up with a "thank you". You thanked him for taking the plates off, there is your required polite/considerate behavior, you don't need to dress both ends in a situation like that as if he's doing you a favor when actually he's just being lazy. After all he's shown no consideration at all and couldn't even manage to do what he's meant to with good grace.
  • Tuala42
    Tuala42 Posts: 274 Member
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    You were way more polite than I would have been. My favourite line is to ask very loudly "When will she get here?". When they turn and ask who I am talking about I say "Your mom. She is going to come and clean up after you, right? That's only fair since she didn't raise you to put away your own ****".


    lol that's a good one. Wish I had the nerve to use that, but i'm hopelessly shy in real life.
  • yesitscynthia
    yesitscynthia Posts: 3
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    Guy was probably embarrassed someone called him out on inconsiderate behavior. Or, maybe he just didnt get it.
  • jobegone
    jobegone Posts: 91
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    Didnt expect a 6 page thread on this to be honest but it's clear it's either a real bug bear or people don't care. The issue really was that the guy hated being asked to follow the instructions on the sign and got narky with me over asking him to take the plates off.

    As far as the rule of de-racking only being put into play after I asked for a sign to be put up is rubbish though. There are signs about replacing equipment and not lifting weights out of the free weight area etc what I wrote in the suggestions book is that if a female who is potentially starting out or an older person came to the squat rack and found it loaded with 50kg they will feel intimidated and maybe walk away.

    I'm not lazy, neither was the guy I'm sure - we were both at the gym remember - difference was he was inconsiderate and I was not.

    I wasn't even confrontational. As far as the post regarding do I want to be known as a b@*ch at the gym - honestly I don't care what people think of me at the gym. I care about getting healthier and stronger not about making BFF's, but if asking someone to de-rack plates is what makes you a b@*ch the world's gone mad !!!

    I actually feel more confident in calling out '*kitten*' behaviour at the gym after reading the majority of these responses tbh but saying that I'm not going to make a habit of it just for the sake of it.
  • jobegone
    jobegone Posts: 91
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    If I were him I would tell you "I don't rerack for people weaker than me."

    This is totally ridiculous and besides I'm pretty sure I could have probably taken him in an arm wrestle.
    My squats are particularly poor due to injury !!
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    Why ask if you were being rude if your mind was already made up? Just giving opinions you asked for - why you mad?
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    Age will bring you less patience for BS.

    You, my dear, glimpsed your future of not putting up with anyone's BS.

    You did fine, he was an *kitten*.
  • pinaypanda87
    pinaypanda87 Posts: 20 Member
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    Rude people dont have the right to complain about rudeness in return, so dont feel bad. And depending on your tone, it probably wasnt even rude to begin with. Good job standing up for yourself, some meatheads at the gym can be such asshats.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Sounds to me like he was embarrassed being caught out for not doing the right thing.


    ^ thats what I thought too. You had a right to speak up and he was just being a big baby. I'm sure what you said was just right. Don't think about it again.

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