Dealing with Haters

Blossomforth13

I go to school at night, and three of the girls in my class are really skinny, and they like to complain about gaining weight. (No, going from a size 2 to a size 3 is not "getting fat.") Apparently last night they overheard me talking with a friend whom I had told about my first pathetic attempt at a spin class (I lasted 15 minutes out of an hour) and how I was going to keep going every week until I could last an entire class.

Today they messaged me a picture of a very morbidly obese person trying to get on an exercise bike, and said "You should quit trying to do Spinning, because no one healthy wants to look at this."

Right now? I honestly want to binge or stab them with something sharp and pointy. They are always making comments about my weight, sometimes in class, like saying I should only date overweight people so I don't "crush" them, signing my school email up for a "chubby chasers" dating website and a thousand other little snide remarks.

I don't know how to deal with these people anymore. I try and ignore it, but I'll be honest, it hurts, and it's hard to ignore when they just won't stop. If I react they giggle and point, if I don't they just get nastier. I have five hours until I have to face these people again and right now, I really don't know how.

JoRocka

put your energy into your spinning class.


I'd personally start making waif blowing away jokes. Or making comments about their food- I'm shallow like that- if you attack my on that level- I'll attack you right back (I'm kind of in line with Fat Amy's mental process from Pitch Perfect).. I woudl totally say- OMG THOSE 100 calorie chips are going to make your vagina fall out of your shorts!!! it got fat!!!
or something- I have no shame- they have gone above and beyond- which means all jokes are fair enough to them. You may not feel that way- and a lot of others probably won't either- but what they are doing is unacceptable- I got to stage 10.

If it goes 1-1 then 2-2 people just keep matching. But they did 1- and you probably tried 1- and they just keep pushing. Go to def con 10 stage 12- over the top. Usually puts people in their place immediately.


I't probably go with a Churchill type comment as well "I may be fat today - but I won't be fat forever: you unfortunately will be shallow vapid and ugly inside probably for the rest of your life"

"making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital"

"You should quit trying to do Spinning, because no one healthy wants to look at this."

no one said healthy had to be skinny. healthy is about your whole body- not what something looks like.
Also- how am I supposed to get healthy if I quit?
"perhaps you should quit talking- because no one nice wants to hear your voice"

Start weight lifting and then ask them how much they can dead lift

I cant' stand people like that- I would have shut that down immediately- i have no patience for such things- but zingers are kind of my thing so I tend to go their first.

Good luck to you!!! Message me if you need more moral support!!!

EyeHensley

That just makes me sick to my stomach. I am so sorry you have to deal with those biatches.

I would tell you to just ignore them, but dang, that's so hard to do. I agree with UnrepentantTh, please don't let them throw you off. You CAN DO THIS!

Tillyecl1

That is totally out of order! Honestly some people have no idea.
Personally I spin twice a week and I have for about 4 years now. I was a whale on a spinning bike when I started and I'm pretty sure I nearly died on several occasions. Out of everyone exercising in the gym (classes or not) I have the most respect for those who are just starting out, because that is when it's the hardest.
Keep with it and use the anger to keep you going an extra 5 mins next class :-)
Good luck, keep going and you'll make it to the end of a class very soon (at which point you can stick your tongue out at the haters because being thin doesn't necessarily mean they are fit).

P.s. Love the cat :-)

Blossomforth13

The teacher spoke to them last term about the bullying and they let up for about a week, and then came up with the chubby chasers prank. I really don't want to know what will happen if I report them again. I really just don't understand how and why twentysomethings are being so freaking hateful, or how to deal with it. I stress/emotionally eat and I know I do it, and they just keep pushing my buttons.

Maybe making snide comments back is the answer, but then they turn around and report me for a "bad attitude."

MyRummyHens

It sounds to me like your life is WAY more interesting than theirs are. I can't think of any other reason that they would focus so much of their attention on you otherwise. They must be seriously dull if one spin class put them all in such a, well spin!

Weight and the amount of fat you carry is something which can be easily (comparatively anyway) changed, where as being interesting (or not as in their case) is much harder to change.

Sadly people like this often feed off of negative attention from others. There isn't anything you can do to 'fix' them or their behavior, but you can prevent them from 'breaking' you to make themselves look less broken than they are. Do whatever it takes for you to remain true to who you are.

JoRocka

make sure you document all interactions.

go see a counselor as well.

save the email!!! print it out! and share it with a counselor.

zanne54

I'd probably respond: "I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly."

Does your school have a policy on harassment/bullying? If so, I'd also report them.

And don't let the haters get you down. Use them for motivation to succeed at your weight loss.

Blossomforth13

make sure you document all interactions.

go see a counselor as well.

save the email!!! print it out! and share it with a counselor.

I'll do that, maybe it will help, because I seriously am at the point where I am dreading school and I really just want to skip so I don't have to deal with them, and it's affecting my grade. My 4.0 has gone down to a 3.8 since the bullying got bad, and I hate it, but I just feel stuck.

EreborsPrincess

I'm going to play the "mom" card here My daughter is a college freshman, and I work at a university.

Go to the Dean of Students, or the equivalent at your university. Show them the texts/messages/etc that they have been sending you. Tell them about the fraudulent use of your email account. Our IT department doesn't take kindly to that sort of thing. On the whole, I think schools/colleges/universities are taking bullying much more seriously than they have in the past - and let's be honest, this is exactly what they are doing.

And following JoRocka's advice wouldn't hurt either.

Of_Monsters_and_Meat

You have their bullying on your phone, or something since they messaged you.

Its tracked, report it. If the teacher won't do anything, complain higher up that staff is allowing bullying to happen.

What grade are you in that people are doing this??

becky10rp

I know it's hard, but ignore these women/girls - they are not worth your time or trouble.

Sad that - at their age (I'm assuming they are out of High School - yes)?! - they pull this crap.

Hold your head high - remember you are doing this for YOU; you are better than they are - alone, these girls wouldn't say anything - takes the two of them to be nasty - which is sad/pathetic.

At some point, if you give them no reaction - they will move on to another victim.

LKArgh

Wow! How old are these girls? My 4 year old knows better than this! You are bullied, and I doubt it has anything to do with your weight. They are looking for a victim and it could be your teeth, hair, accent, clothes or whatever. Do not let them get to you, the thing making you a good victim is that they know they are upsetting you. I would suggest laughing at them, or asking them to grow up, or just rolling your eyes, but if they feel you are upset, they will not stop. You say this is school, so couldn't you report this behaviour, so at least they give you a break during school hours? Something like going to whomever is responsible and writing something like this: "I am really sorry to bother you and it seems so silly to have to report classmates as if we were in Kindergarten, but a couple of ladies appear to think they still are in Kindergarten and they can harass me. I am getting really distracted from my work. I have as much right as them to be here, and I wonder what the school policy is for this, because it is becoming very disturbing"

SaintGiff

Embrace the hate. Use it as fuel.

usmcmp

They aren't haters, they're *kitten*. Tell them laughing at an overweight person going to the gym is like laughing at a person with cancer going to the doctor. Should shut them up. If not then block their texts/emails.

SugaryLynx

Wow. First off, ignore them, block them, report them. What an abhorrent way to treat someone. Forget them, focus on you. You can't fix an ugly inside and when it comes to being human and worthwhile, I think that's all that matters. Be you. I'm so sorry there are disgusting human beings in this world that feel the need to cut people down. ♡

usmcmp

God don't you just wish you could hit some people? In my perfect world you would be legally allowed to throat punch everyone of those B's.

But you can't, so what you're going to do is keep at it. You're going to work your *kitten* off and prove them wrong. Their hurtful words will become your motivation.

You will rise above, and know that they will always be ugly people on the inside. There's no gym that fixes that. No matter how good they look their lives will always be miserable, because they're miserable people inside where it matters.

Hold your head high and keep right on being awesome. You've got some *kitten* to (metaphorically) kick. So get to work.

I love this!

MizTerry

FoxyLifter

Start weight lifting and then ask them how much they can dead lift

THIS! Start lifting: StrongLifts 5x5, Starting Strength, or New Rules of Lifting for Women.

I started doing Stronglifts in May 2 times a week at first due to a scheduling conflict and then upped it to 3 times a week in September. I highly recommend it! Just dead lifted 205lbs on Monday. :drinker: