Ugly fat pig! Skinny pathetic skeleton! Fat butt slut!

Of_Monsters_and_Meat

TL;DR
Reported for potty mouth topic.

llabruce4

Thanks for this, it is amazing the affect our words can have on people, both good and bad

MysteriousMerlin

Thank you for posting this. We too often get caught up in ourselves, thinking we're better than someone else, or are hurt and angry and end up taking out our frustration on others.

It's so sad to think that our actions and/or words could push another person to such desperate measures.
My jr. high days were made horrible by a group of about 10 boys who called me horrible names. My reaction was to get mad (and in some instances, get even), which actually saved me from resorting to hurting myself or committing a deserate act. Not that my reaction was all that healthy, but for a 12-13 year old girl with pre-existing anger issues, what's done is done.

Please, be kind to one another. Be kind to yourself.

monstergirl14

Thank you so much for listening to these women, and thank you for sharing this post. I have fallen victim to extreme bullying, but I'm stronger today because people like you exist. I truly hope those women will have better lives, and my thoughts are with those who couldn't bear the torment from their peers. I can't imagine how bad it must have been that you couldn't wake up in the morning and face the day. It really hurts my core to know that there are people out there who find pride and happiness in making other lives miserable.

earvizu92

:flowerforyou:

marian4marian

:flowerforyou: thanks dig!

monstergirl14

My ex boyfriend when at a 5k race would point out a heavy set person and make a horrible comment. I would look at him and say at least she is out here walking and good for her I'm proud of her. He won't like when I would day that in her defense. One of the many reasons he is my ex got sick of those comments and of course since I don't quite have that athletic body it hurt me as well. Here is my thing instead of putting people down how about go over to them at a 5k and wish them luck which is what I do. They usually smile and say that this is their first and that they are wanting to be healthy. I smile back and tell them to keep it up and they will feel excited and happy when they cross that finish line.

At the gym I helped encourage a girl that was trying hard to complete the time left on her machine. She told me after that she was about to give up and my positive comments got her going again. Today she has lost a lot of weight and she said that if it weren't for me that day she would of walked out of that gym and never came back and would not of been healthier.

So little things to someone matter too bad more can't do that instead of putting people down.

It's people like your ex boyfriend that make overweight people really afraid of working out. It's good that you ended the poisonous relationship, clearly your ex has a lot of insecurities that he needs addressed. You're a very good person and thank you for encouraging the woman at the gym. Keep being you and offering positive reinforcement.

Pirate_chick

Such a tragedy. My prayers to all. I have had people that made me feel worthless suicide crossed my mind, but, never came to fruition. Thankfully I have a strong supportive family, not all are that lucky. To anyone out there, Love yourself regardless of what others say to your face, or behind your back. It will get better.

DucklingtoSwan

What an insightful post. It also made me think of a teaching moment that was handed to me about 15 or so years ago, I had a young friend who had been very thin her whole life- her mom and sisters were built the same way, these tiny little wisps of women, even her dad and brother had slight builds. She wore her hair various lengths of short and/or creatively shaved, and was (is) lovely and blond and hazel-eyed and very pale skinned, almost fairy-like.

She and I were shopping one day, she needed a dress for some event, and as the salesgirl and I chased her in and out of the dressing room two teenagers were there also trying on dresses for whatever dance was going on, and I heard whispers and started noticing looks being shot over to us... in fact I assumed they were making fun of ME (I've always been large and next to her I must have seemed like a giant) and this being LONG before my outspoken, tell-it-like-I-see-it personality fully blossomed, I just sucked it up and pretended not to hear.

After a few minutes, they got louder and ruder, and it dawned on me they were commenting on my friend, and I heard whispers of "anorexia"... "never eats" and "eat a cheeseburger... why bother, she'd just throw it up" followed by fits of giggles.

Now, say whatever you want about me, but watch your mouth about those whom I hold dear! Next time she came out of the dressing room to check herself out in the mirror, I heard one of the girls made one of those passive-aggressive types of insulting remarks disguised as a compliment (you know the type.) So I turned to them all smiles and said, "I know, right? Would you believe she used to be my size... until the chemo."

As all activity around us stopped, and they took in her fair skin, shaved head and delicate countenance, I do not know whose expression was funnier... theirs (mortified), the salesgirl's (awkward), or my friend's (horror/disbelief/about to fall apart with laughter).

They couldn't get out of the store fast enough, and had hardly disappeared before we couldn't take it any more and literally fell to the floor in tears, laughing ourselves hoarse. We finally let the poor salesgirl in on it, I'm sure she thought we had lost our minds right there in her store.

Okay, I never said I was PROUD of the way I handled it

littlelaura

Glad I read this, hope there are more people out there who care to speak more gently and with kindness on a daily basis. You never know when your words might be the nicest thing someone hears all day.

MelsAuntie

I have never been teased or insulted about my body, but as a child with a hearing aid, I was teased a bit about that and about my hearing loss. I can't recall being too upset about it, because most peiople I knew were kind and supportive.

Dig_Deeper

Wow! I wanted people to read the post that's for sure, but I didn't expect so many comments! :-) I'm a bit busy right now with trying to finish up some copyright papers; however when I have some time, I'll spend the next few days replying to as many people as I can! It's amazing to see so many wonderful people posting, and who are willing and ready to make a difference! I will be back to reply as soon as I can, but until then you all stay wonderful and have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening/night(depending on what area you live in the world lol)! :flowerforyou:

DeliriumCanBeFun

Thank you for sharing this! When I read about your wife being a cryer, I knew I would but read it anyway and glad I did. I've never been mercilessly teased to my face, but I have always had a way of keeping people a little scared of me Lol. However, the times when people have belittled me will forever be in my memory. As a awkward, chubby 5th grader waiting for the bus I fell on my butt one day...and a popular 7th grade boy laughed and told everyone there that I bounced. Might not sound like a big deal to most people, but I was mortified and it stuck with me for a long time. Just an example of how something "little" can really have a significant impact on others. More recently, I was participating in my first big organized bike ride with a group of other not skinny women, and another woman actually passed by us before the start singing "I like big butts". So I said, "well so does my boyfriend (now husband) at the front of the pack." And even though I know she was the one with the problem, I mean what is wrong with people that make themselves feel better by trying to make other people feel bad?? I still couldn't help it bothering me a little. And I had a very abusive ex that used my weight against me all the time even though I was never very big, but again he was the one with the problem. With everything i have been through, I realize it is nothing compared to what so many other people go through every day. And it just breaks my heart because I never want to be someone that causes pain to another, I just wish more people felt like I do. We all need a reminder sometimes to be the light too. You may not go around insulting people, but do you spread joy? I know that when I do, I get to experience a happiness that I can't on my own. Show everyone you meet a little love, you never know how much they need it or what might come back your way:flowerforyou:

DSTMT

Thanks for posting this :flowerforyou:

MaeRay007

:flowerforyou:

Songbirdcw

You are awesome for just sharing the stories of others who have been in this situation. Thanks for posting! I will continue to be mindful of the power of my words.

arabianhorselover

I still remember hurtful things that were said to me in grade school.

sarafischbach9

That's sad! If you do not have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all. Even if you don't like someone. But some people don't know when to shut their mouths.

During high school, my grandfather always liked to comment on how I needed to lose some weight. I finally did and became anorexic. Went from 145 lbs to 86 in one year. Didn't stop him from telling me how I looked like "hell" and needed to gain weight.

He didn't say anything this past Christmas, but I could tell he was judging me because I had put on weight in 2013; weight that I have lost since Christmas.

When I was in high school, a girl told me I looked like a "Coke head" after I lost all the weight ( when I was 86 lbs ). Instead of asking me if I was okay ( like "I noticed you lost a lot of weight. Are you okay? Eating well at home?" ) they just told me I looked like a coke head. Never have done a drug in my life! Also, I recently just lost weight; Before I lost weight people liked to make comments about my bloated belly. And now they tell me I look too skinny. Can't please anyone. Wish people would keep their comments about my body to themselves.

mnwalkingqueen

Your post reminded me why I treat people the way I want to be treated. To bad not every in my life does that actually only my parents and son do that back (treat me right).

I wanted to say to the person that said Bully's are no longer tolerated. I live in Mpls MN and there are tons of bully's and I feel so bad for the youth these days. We say it isn't tolerated but even schools rarely hold fast to that rule.

I will say it once again. Treat people the way you want to be treated no matter how hard it is .....Karma or God whatever your belief will reward you no matter what.

Dig_Deeper

Very inspiring post. So sad to hear about the cruelties people have to endure, its such a shame but it definitely is true. I especially liked your "save a life with a hug, kindness than destroy one with hateful words"...everyone needs to remember this no matter how old or young we are! Thanks for posting!

Okay, now for my first round of replies Thank you ALL for taking your time to read and comment! :-)

It truly is a shame that people can do this to others and feel nothing. People seem to get worse as time goes by, but then again maybe it has always been this way and the Internet simply makes these kind of stories easier to read about. Thank YOU for reading and you take care!

Dig_Deeper

Wow, how pathetic people can be. Each of those stories struck a chord with me in a personal way. I read a post on here the other day where a woman was getting bullied at her school by other grown women about her weight and I thought that behavior was disgusting but hopefully the outpouring of support she received will give her the strength to persevere.

Thanks for sharing.

That's awful! Was the woman being bullied the one who made the post or someone talking about it? *Sigh* I sure hope she's okay and hopefully find a way to overcome it.....that's horrible. Hopefully SOMEONE stands in her defense, not because I think she's weak because I'm sure she is not, but because often it's a group instead of just one person being jerks.

quiksylver296

My mother always said - if someone is being mean, pity them.. Cause they cannot see their own beauty only their flaws and they have to highlight someone elses flaw to hide their own.. Ignore them - because the people who love you only see your goodness. And goodness is beauty - not the body its in.

I love this! I'm going to use it with my son!

Dig_Deeper

Honestly this is the longest post I have ever read on mfp. .. and I'm glad I did. Kindness matters at all levels of interaction with people, everyone has obstacles and challenges to face and nobody knows exactly what life another person has already lived. I love the part where you say can't we look at who people are instead of what they look like. I tell my kids that all the time. good post. ...thanks for sharing. So did your wife like the dress you got her?

Yeah...this post IS a bit long lol but I'm glad that you did not regret reading it! Kindness truly does matter(even to those who seem to think they're the toughest of the tough), and it's worse when this cruel behavior comes from adults; we're supposed to know better and should be leading by our OWN [positive] examples. I do know one thing; you children have a fantastic mother and I'm sure it shows in their character!

My wife doesn't know about the dress honestly lol Our anniversary is in August, but I wanted to get it now because every since I've known her I've noticed that she has ALWAYS been more drawn to spring dresses more so than summer dresses. Many stores are just putting their spring dresses out so I was able to find some REALLY good ones!

Dig_Deeper

Some people are so ridiculous. Gahh I could go on and on about this issue but I'll keep it simple... Ignore stupid people. -.-'

Good post

I definitely feel where you are coming from as I too can go on and on about this (and judging from my long post I almost did) Thank you!

staceypunk

you're awesome. Thanks for sharing!

Dig_Deeper

Your wife is very lucky to have someone like you.

Words do far more damage than anyone could realize. Also, a simple look can do more damage to some people (specifically people like myself who suffer depression and/or social disorders). When I was overweight, I sometimes caught people giving me this 'look'. You can't really explain it, but others who are or have been overweight probably know the look. I especially got it at the beach a lot. I don't wear bathing suits as it is. I have um... natural cellulite (have since I was in middle school, doesn't matter if I'm in shape, overweight, underweight, it's always there) so am self conscious about my legs. I wear swimming trunks. Anyway. Last Spring, I was still about 100 lbs overweight. My friend and I went to Daytona, and these punk teenagers started picking at me, my friend, and my friend's mom. Me and her mom because of our weight, my friend because of her stretch marks (mind you she had had two kids and had lost about 50 lbs, too). In any case, I didn't eat at all that night. And that 'look'. I got it so often that I eventually learned to not look at people's faces. It was the only way I didn't notice if I was getting that 'look'.

But the worst part of it all, is it seems that no matter what weight you are... someone is going to be negative or treat you poorly. Being told I look like an addict because I lost so much weight hurts me just as much as being told I look like a whale did. There is a point where you should have a thick skin and remember that their opinions don't matter in the greater scheme. Nevertheless, as a psychology major, I know that is not always possible or even probable. Besides, people should be taught manners. The way I was raised... I don't say anything if I have nothing nice to say. Simple as that. Words hurt. They especially hurt when you're young, vulnerable, or already socially anxious.

Thank you, and while my wife also tells me that she is the lucky one, the truth is that I am the lucky one....and I'll always be the lucky one, or better the blessed one to have her in my life and I make sure to tell her this VERY often.

I'm going to tell you right now that there is NOTHING wrong with you at all, and believe me I know; I know LOADS of crappy people with a LOT of things wrong with them....and you are definitely not one of them! I know people can be cruel and knowing that you suffer from depression I know it may sometimes be easier to focus on the bad things people say. Let's try to counter that, the truth is you're a beautiful woman, and you're amazing and have amazing accomplishments! Focus on those words, because those words are true.

Dig_Deeper

So true, my 15 year old has been very thin and very tall (she finally topped out at 5'8") her entire life. Kids started making comments about her weight in the FIRST GRADE! That's 6 years old, and they haven't stopped yet. My beautiful daughter does not see in the mirror what I see because of what these mean children have said to her.

You just keep being a great mom and telling your little one how amazing and beautiful she is! You can even tell her that I've said it as well! She's going to find people in her school that are going stick up for her and stand by her side soon enough. Just keep cheering her on like you're doing!

Dig_Deeper

wow! you are one of those people who actually listens to what people say. You are listener and very well verse in writing them too. Thanks for sharing.

I went thru burnout and depression as well. Still in recovery.

Thank YOU! You know, my wife had one moment where she got really upset with me, and even she didn't know why. She talked to me for about forty minutes and at the end she said men don't listen anyway......and I spent the next forty minutes telling her everything that she said ALMOST word for word. She started crying,,,a LOT, but they were happy tears and from then on she has never worried about me not listening to again; that was four years ago while we were still dating and falling in love. I know I'm not the greatest looking guy (or even good looking for that matter lol ) but I do know what I am a great listener and I always put myself in another's position so I can at LEAST an understanding of how they feel even if I don't know how they feel from experience.

I'm not happy to hear about what you're going through though :-((( I know that I don't know your situation, but you hang in there okay? I'm rooting for you and I'l be keeping you in my prayers. You can do this!

Dig_Deeper

For me, this is what body positivity is about.

Some people get very funny about body positivity, thinking it means celebrating obesity and ill health. Rather, it's about not being an *kitten* to other people - don't treat people like crap because of their bodies.

Exactly! Being positive about our bodies is all about doing better, and getting better and lifting up others no matter WHAT we look like. I have a friend who is about 500lbs and she always felt depressed, but I pointed out the fact that she is exercising daily and making healthy choices and informed her that she's already doing more than the people talking about her. That was all she needed to hear She smiles a lot more, and she has already lost 17lbs!

sentaruu

sticks and stones may break one's bones, but words can crush their soul.