Ugly fat pig! Skinny pathetic skeleton! Fat butt slut!

Dig_Deeper

I felt to put the quote most commonly attributed to be made popular by Edmund Bourke - The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing.. Posts like this help those who seek to transcend the ego and search for the truth to help those to see that in love there is no judgement.

Thank you for your input and sharing Edmond Bourke's (or Burke....both are correct spellings lol) quote; he was an amazing philosopher!

Dig_Deeper

My apologies for such a long post(as well as any typos)...but I just couldn't keep this to myself. Love you all and wish you the best! Let's be kind, encouraging, and supportive......and hopefully save some lives.

Apologies not needed. What a wonderful post. If only there were more like you in the world.

Hate only begets hate. Smile and the world will smile with you..

I live by the motto, "what goes round, comes round". So treat people in the way you wish to be treated. And for those that spout meanness and vileness - pity them - because the only reason they pick on you is to hide what they are ashamed of themselves. By bringing you down, it lifts them up (in their eyes).. My mother always said - if someone is being mean, pity them.. Cause they cannot see their own beauty only their flaws and they have to highlight someone elses flaw to hide their own.. Ignore them - because the people who love you only see your goodness. And goodness is beauty - not the body its in.

Thank you for posting this. Makes me proud that my mam instilled that into me every day.

A fine motto to live by, indeed! Your mom is an amazing woman and so is her daughter! Goodness is truly a pivotal aspect of beauty...somewhere along the line people lost sight of that, but all of you here shows there is still loads of hope left!

Dig_Deeper

Thank you for this post :flowerforyou:

You're welcome and thank YOU :flowerforyou:

Dig_Deeper

What a good man you are - for listening to those ladies and for sharing this. Thank you.

Thank YOU! Those ladies were no, they ARE absolutely amazing! It's just heartbreaking knowing what they have had to endure and I wanted to be their voice and I also encourage all of us to help when we can.

sargessexyone

Your post has touched me deeply and many others as well. I lost my brother several years ago to suicide. While I don't think we will ever understand why he did it, he is in a happier place and I guess really that is all that matters.

Your love for not only your wife but human beings as a whole shows through your words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You, kind sir, are a rare breed.

Dig_Deeper

Thank You!!!!

You're welcome and thank YOU!!!

Dig_Deeper

Thank you for writing this.

You're welcome and I thank you for reading it!

Spreyton22K

I wanted to say Thank You so much for your insight into the impact thoughtless words can have. No matter what your circumstances the wounds of weight based comments or for that matter ANY comment on physical appearance may run deeply an have a profoundly lasting impact on people's lives.

Yesterday my Doctor made what was to him an innocent remark that was meant to be inspiring after I told him that not that long ago I used to weigh in at 126kg (268 lbs). He said something along the lines of "Wow, that is an amazing achievement .....what do you weigh now.....60 kgs?" (132 lbs). Which is a great, healthy weight for my height 5'5", however my goal was to be lower than this. The last time I got weighed I was a smidge over 50kgs (110 lbs) and due to other health problems have lost more weight since then.....

The horrible thing is that I felt gutted that he got the number wrong. I have always struggled to control my incorrect perceptions of my body, I never get clothe size right (always pick out things much bigger), I have looked in the mirror since childhood and the person looking back looks much bigger and have slipped in and out of ED behaviour for all of my life. Since this happened I have struggled to control the rising sense of panic and self-loathing that I thought I had put to rest. I feel like all the Counselling, self-help etc is SO fragile; it takes such a little incident and I unravel......that makes me feel even more pathetic.

Reading about the experience of others and the impact verbal comments paints a vivid, clear picture that EVEN seemingly innocent remarks about anothers body can create profound, unintended results......None of us can know what someone has had to deal with in their past or what burdens they are trying to integrate and live with in their present.

chesnity3

Thank you for sharing this story. I was also teased a lot in school for being over weight, which was from being depressed about my parents divorce. But no one cared, they just seen a "fat girl" and thought I was just stuffing my face all day, when I was really an undercover bulimic, who snuck and took with loss pills, and laxatives just to drop weight fast so I could be liked and to fit in. But as I grew up and with prayer, I started to love myself more and didn't care what other people thought of me. I needed to do what was best for me and my health. Even though it's been several years later I'm taking it one day at a time and I'm succeeding and very happy and in love with myself.

Fithealthyforlife

I hope this isn't true, but I have no reason to doubt that it is. It makes me very sad for the girl.

I have never called someone a name because of their physical appearance, and I'm not going to start doing so after reading this...that's for sure. Now if everyone else could just follow, it would great.

knra_grl

Thanks so much for this post. Treating others with kindness and respect costs absolutely nothing!

CarolinkaCjj

Thank you for the touching post and poignant reminder. :flowerforyou:

Beezil

Thanks for sharing. Bullying is something I never have and never will understand. The mob mentality of children in schools in particular is very disturbing to me. I have always tried to raise my son with respect for others and to try to show acceptance of everyone, no matter how the are different in appearance or otherwise. But it seems like other people don't take those steps when raising their children. I put my boy in homeschool for many reasons, but the bullying was certainly a big one... having your child come home from school crying about being hit or called horrible names by other kids is devastating and heart breaking. At least when it happens in my neighborhood I have more power to do something about it directly... but public schools are atrocious when it comes to bullying - despite all these new "no tolerance" policies they keep talking about.

JazmineYoli

I'm glad I took the time to read this. It is unreal how cruel people are in this world, but at the same time there are many wonderful people like yourself that are there too. I want to cry every time someone commits suicide because of bullying. This should be taken more seriously in schools. PERIOD.
Thanks for sharing.

coolraul07

Whoa! Great story, bro! Thanks for sharing it. Seriously. :drinker:

arabianhorselover

I have loved that song from the first time I heard it.

quote]
This reminds me of a song I love.

Don't laugh at me, don' call me names.
Don't get your pleasure from my pain.
In God's eyes, we're all the same,
One day we'll all have perfect wings.

Thank you for posting!
[/quote]

cassylola24

What a great post. why do people think they have the right to belittle and hurt others? Words can be so harmful and unfortunately bullying in school is difficult to stamp out despite the efforts of teachers and helpers etc. When bullying happens int he workplace people are told that they are old enough to ignore it!
I have always been tall for my age and was constantly teased at school as I was the tallest in my year and the year above me. It did get to me one night when my parents were out and I just started sobbing my heart out uncontrollably. My brother (older than me) was worried and had the foresight to ring some friends of our parents who come over straight away and talked to me. Thank god for them cos I don't think I would have listened to my parents as they are supposed to say the right things aren't they. These family friends really listened and talked me through it all and told me I could be proud of my body and height.
My parents bought us both up to repect everyone around us and if they heard us say anything derogatory or unkind we were put in our place and corrected.
Again thanks for a great post and fory our kind actions of listening to these strangers

nikki125

Thanks for taking the time to share this!
Be kind people.

DucklingtoSwan

I still remember hurtful things that were said to me in grade school.

*raising hand* Yep. I as well.

AusAshMommy

I think this needs to be shared universally! Thanks for posting these stories, hoping the hearts of those women have been or will be healed with time.

Your wife is wonderfully lucky to have such a caring husband!

Shaynelle

Thank you for sharing. Reasons like this are what made me close my facebook account. I made an account under a fake name (so I had my real named account and a false one) in order to go on and joke around and have fun, or tell a dirty joke without people judging me and my husbands business. I was never once mean to anyone. One person, a guy who is extremely lonely, took a liking to my falsely named account, and started talking to me. It soon turned into something I wasn't comfortable with - him asking me to his house (even after I insisted many times I was married and that would never happen, me visiting him). He pushed it and pushed it to the point I told him it was a fake account. He went ballistic and found out what my real name is, and him and his friends started saying really mean things, making up lies about me, pm'ing me with rude things and, worse, saying things in public groups about me.

I understand the guy was surprised by the fake account, but it's not like I was mean to him or lead him on or was mean to anyone. His friends and him were relentless, so I cancelled even my real facebook account. I was tired of not only his friends and him bullying me, but I noticed on facebook a lot of people seem to constantly say mean things in facebook groups. I don't see this type of thing going on when I go out anywhere, or go to a party. I don't understand how anyone could be so cruel to others, in person or online.

Shaynelle

This reminded me that I try and stay away from the office gossip. It's actually caused other coworkers to stop inviting me to break time with them. They like to talk a lot about other people at work and I sit there and don't say much when they talk about others. If they are talking about positive things, I happily join in, but when the conversations changes to negativity, I clam up. I don't want to talk poorly of others. So I go alone for breaks or work through them. Better than listening to negativity.

Dig_Deeper

Thank you all! I thought for sure this thread was dead by now(it was on page four yesterday). I've deiced to reply to everyone with a personal message so I don't continuously bump this topic to the top. I should be able to reply to everyone within the next week or two(I've already started). I thought I could do it sooner but I'm really hard pressed for time. You all take care! :flowerforyou:

weightedfootsteps

Thank you for your post! I feel much the same way! You should always take others feelings into consideration when saying something about them or to them.

I have been teaching my daughters to deal with the bullying that they face on a daily basis...as well as my nephews. A lot of parents do not teach their kids to be kind to others...or even try to. My sis has a kid that bullies but not shaming bodies...because he has seen me and my sister as well as my daughters dealing with it in his life. We are working with him trying to show him how to behave...it is very hard.

There is a child that loves to taunt him daily...his rival enemy..a smaller child that runs his mouth constantly. He follows my nephew home from school and tells him about me and my sister being fat on and on, talking about my children as well. I am tempted to talk to the other child's mother about his calling names and so forth but from past experiences I know she will do nothing.

The other day he was doing the name-calling thing...and I had no idea about it...had talked to my sis over the phone about going for a walk. When I show up there with my kids and neighbor kids in tow. He thinks that my nephew had told on him so he decides to follow us and taunt...My sis and I took pics of him following and video of his attitude and let the other kids know not to be bothered that if he follows for five more minutes we were calling the cops for harassment. His friends overheard the comment and made him leave. Keep in mind this child is about ten years old. There is nothing I can do about it and his mother won't do anything. I figure if we report him to the police enough something will be done.

But bullying comes every day from one source or another. Yes I've lost 100 lbs. I'm still not to goal...does that mean I deserve to be treated that way no...and believe me if the kid was an adult...I would have been tempted to show him what my boxing does for me. LOL But what can you do but report it to the proper authorities and build a thick skin. I refuse to lower myself to that level and call names back..Police are the way to go in this instance. I will talk to the mother..but I also will talk to the police if this keeps up any longer. Its gotten out of control.

This is just one example of the bullying my children and nephews face...but there are more. My youngest has gotten to where she ignores all other children around her...and doesn't have any friends.

Life is tough for everyone..but I try to keep my kids positive and yes I take them out for walks..and we play, we dance. We have fun! And ignore the other children that can't be positive around us.

That's how I run my life...keep the positive and push out all negative attitudes. Hopefully it helps them to learn that they don't have to listen to other people's opinions on their lives...because it is their lives!

beachgal0626

What a wonderful post; thanks for taking the time to write it. Your wife is a lucky lady, and bless you for your kind, caring heart. We can only hope there are many more people in the world who treat folks the way you do, rather than the ones who are cruel.

geebusuk

I have been teaching my daughters to deal with the bullying that they face on a daily basis

This.

While I certainly wouldn't disagree that's it's bad to be nasty to others, I also think people tend to ignore that life often IS nasty generally and that often can't be avoided.
To much it seems people won't make any decent effort to help the indivdual learn to solve problems themselves and also to live with that live life not always been roses.

And yes I DO have personal experience of such.

albionjen

Thank you for sharing this! When I read about your wife being a cryer, I knew I would but read it anyway and glad I did. I've never been mercilessly teased to my face, but I have always had a way of keeping people a little scared of me Lol. However, the times when people have belittled me will forever be in my memory. As a awkward, chubby 5th grader waiting for the bus I fell on my butt one day...and a popular 7th grade boy laughed and told everyone there that I bounced. Might not sound like a big deal to most people, but I was mortified and it stuck with me for a long time. Just an example of how something "little" can really have a significant impact on others. More recently, I was participating in my first big organized bike ride with a group of other not skinny women, and another woman actually passed by us before the start singing "I like big butts". So I said, "well so does my boyfriend (now husband) at the front of the pack." And even though I know she was the one with the problem, I mean what is wrong with people that make themselves feel better by trying to make other people feel bad?? I still couldn't help it bothering me a little. And I had a very abusive ex that used my weight against me all the time even though I was never very big, but again he was the one with the problem. With everything i have been through, I realize it is nothing compared to what so many other people go through every day. And it just breaks my heart because I never want to be someone that causes pain to another, I just wish more people felt like I do. We all need a reminder sometimes to be the light too. You may not go around insulting people, but do you spread joy? I know that when I do, I get to experience a happiness that I can't on my own. Show everyone you meet a little love, you never know how much they need it or what might come back your way:flowerforyou:

I just wanted to say there is nothing wrong with a big bum. I have even sung that song to myself while looking in the mirror, I have a big but and I cannot lie! Proud of my big but and gained this through serious effort in the gym nowadays :happy: I remember hearing in the street when I was 50+ lb heavier that someone commented (rudely) that my *kitten* was huge. But even then I was glad that was where my weight lay more anywhere else lol! I was even sad when it shrank proportionally as I lost weight! Oh well, can't choose where we lose weight.

I did suffer from bullying when a teen, although not related to my weight. And I know the hurt it can cause long in to your adult years. Hope you and everyone else commenting here find a way to accept your figure whatever the size or shape. We are all striving to make ourselves the best we can be and that deserves plaudits in itself. It does not matter one bit what anyone else says about our efforts or body size/shape, what matters most is feeling happy with who we are and how we live our life. Just my honest opinion.

Edit to correct typo

6ftamazon

What a great post! I wish there were more people like you in the world . I've been on the receiving end of such comments from family, friends, exes, etc and it definitely takes a toll on a person.

nespinosa3

It is so beautiful and refreshing to see a guy who thinks this way, thank you

I don't know what the hell is wrong with people...it seems like they LIVE for making others feel bad about themselves, especially some men against women (not saying this is the only case, but it's the one I'm most familiar with)
Too skinny? Oh, you look like a boy, you have no curves, eat a burger, you're just bones
@&%)@&$
Too voluptuous? Get naked!!! Show me your *%(!#!!!! Lose weight, but don't lose your curves!!

Cookie_4

Great share. I can't believe you met three women who all had "connecting" stories. It was meant for you to be reminded of the importance of kindness and to remind others the same. Thanks for being a kind hearted person!