Does anyone else have crap genetics?
Replies
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Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
For one, I don't think anyone was purposely being a turd. They were offering THEIR perspective. I have had this same "genetics" conversation with someone in real life who dreams of fitting into size 8 pants, however her hip bones are just too wide. It is never going to happen. She dieted down to a healthy weight and body fat %, but she will never fit in a size 8, she is a size 10. I pointed out reality to her too, accept it, you can't change it, just because you are not a size 8 doesn't mean that you are not thin, healthy, beautiful, valued.
The OP's subject title of the thread says "does anyone else have crap genetics?" And many people came in this thread, having real genetic health problems, and saw the whole thing was complaining about her body type. Could it possibly be that some of these people felt a little offended, that this thread makes light of their situation, that it was a little rude? I'm sure the OP didn't mean to come off that way. But there it is. The most helpful thing people could do was to point out reality.
Okay, I see what you're saying, but it still is uncalled for to be rude and dismissive. I think it would be normal to assume that on a weight loss board, that anything genetic-related would be about weight loss. However, not having a huge genetic issue, maybe it's different with different people. But in reality, she explained what she meant, she meant no offense, yet people are still on defense and being very degrading. That's what I'm saying.0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??0 -
Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that. Not everyone can have Angelina Jolie's lips, or a supermodel's figure. There's so much more to what makes a person attractive than just body shape, or breast size, or musculature. If you're fit and healthy, learn to be confident, happy person. Be kind to other people. Love the people in your family and your friends unconditionally. Forgive people for making mistakes.
Those types of things will make you happy.0 -
I have crap genetics not as bad as some as I just have 2 subclasses of my immune system that dont work and there are lots of other people with worse problems so all I can say is be grateful that if you move more your fat loss will even itself out.0
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Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??
No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
Overly-sensitive troll? For pointing out what genetics are actually capable of that's actually debilitating? You can lose weight, gain muscle, and get therapy: all of these things can either help change your body or change your perspective.
Yeah. What you call overly-sensitive, I call offering a perspective of reality. But, hey, by all means. Boohoo about it. It certainly solves the problem.0 -
Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that.
that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all
on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.0 -
I'll chime in for all of you genetic "non-believers". I've been a police officer for the past 6 years in a large metropolitan city on the east coast. During my time on patrol I've met some MONSTERS. Guys who smoke weed day in/day out, eat cheetos and drink "grape drink", latent with HFC and other crap, eat fried foods/mac and cheese, greasy potato wedges from the corner store. These guys have no jobs, have a sedentary life style with the only physical activity being either playing basketball, shooting dice or occasionally running from the police yet they are chiseled to the bone and look like they lift heavy every day and have a clean, squared away diet. Hell I've met a few crack addicts with pretty impressive physiques, granted these are far a few between but I've seen it.
This is just ONE example0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??
I actually didn't address the kind and encouraging things some posters said to the OP. I did not say I disapproved of that.0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??
No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.
The comments YOU deem rude.
Work harder - May or may not apply in this case
She states she is not overweight, so one would assume she has been working. She needs to work on accepting those things she can't change. She certainly needs to work on her body image.
Excuse - May or may not apply in this case
I saw one person saying that she did indeed use poor genetics as an excuse, she helpfully offered her experience and perspective. Other people also said they thought it was an excuse but said it in a different way, this doesn't mean that their opinion is not valid, and this doesn't mean they were trying to be rude, mean or judgmental. They all have their own personal experiences to draw on as well, even if they didn't elaborate on them.
I'm really not trying to be rude here. This is an emotional issue for many, but I believe the people who are more logical and factual can help those who are very emotional about it.0 -
Now, THAT is putting things into perspective. :drinker:we're all the product of millions of years of evolutionary success... we all have excellent genetics.
THIS. Completely.
Genes express based on stimuli. Change your stimuli. "Bad Genetics" is today's popular excuse to take no ownership of one's own situation and to spend a fortune on finding an external "fix". The rampant health problems of today, including obesity, autoimmune disorders etc etc are ALL preventable and treatable. Many autoimmune disorders "run in my family" and yet I alone have been able to cure myself of all of them and in a very short time. So NOT completely determined by genetics alone. (Pssst, it's the FOOD and environment.)
But I forgot, you were concerned about appearance/body type. I tend to be "health" focused and the body types that our current society looks down on are often very healthy body types. Unless you think it's the uber-thin that ladies guarantee the survival of our species? Not likely.0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
Overly-sensitive troll? For pointing out what genetics are actually capable of that's actually debilitating? You can lose weight, gain muscle, and get therapy: all of these things can either help change your body or change your perspective.
Yeah. What you call overly-sensitive, I call offering a perspective of reality. But, hey, by all means. Boohoo about it. It certainly solves the problem.
Exactly.0 -
I think the key is embracing the genes you have - I am never going to be tiny - but I can sure be a powerhouse - so I lift heavy - I`ve started high volume heavy kettle bell work - and I don`t care that I run at 5.5 mph. Make the best of yourself rather than trying to be something you are not designed for0
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Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??
No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.
The comments YOU deem rude.
Work harder - May or may not apply in this case
She states she is not overweight, so one would assume she has been working. She needs to work on accepting those things she can't change. She certainly needs to work on her body image.
Excuse - May or may not apply in this case
I saw one person saying that she did indeed use poor genetics as an excuse, she helpfully offered her experience and perspective. Other people also said they thought it was an excuse but said it in a different way, this doesn't mean that their opinion is not valid, and this doesn't mean they were trying to be rude, mean or judgmental. They all have their own personal experiences to draw on as well, even if they didn't elaborate on them.
I'm really not trying to be rude here. This is an emotional issue for many, but I believe the people who are more logical and factual can help those who are very emotional about it.
Of course it's rude and insensitive. "Work harder" Okay, what makes you assume I'm not? Now comes another post having to defend herself, saying she does work harder, but why can't she complain? It's not "Just keep going, you'll see a difference eventually." It's "You got that way due to your own actions, if you're not seeing anything it's because you're not working hard enough. Clearly you're not doing something right."
In a time of need, I would not want to hear that. People can be a drill Sargent all they want about the matter, but the fact remains that everyone comes from different walks of life. If you want to be supportive and encouraging, then do so. However, you must learn to differentiate and express yourself in certain ways as to not offend someone. There are those who wear their hearts on their shoulder, those who are just starting, those who are naive and emotional, and so on and so forth. I don't care if this is the internet, what you are responding to is a motivation and support board. So if you are here to motivate and support, you must realize that the person who you are speaking to is not you, therefore treating them as such could be seen as hurtful.
I will go through the thread and try and provide specific examples to illustrate my point, but at this time I feel as though I'm wasting my breath and am greatly outnumbered. I would also like to point out that I'm not a bad person as someone has written to me previously, and I do not appreciate that statement made about me when all I've done this entire time is show support.0 -
No, I have fabulous genetics...couldn't ask for better genes--my issue is I can tend to be gluttonous, slothful/lazy, entitled and spoiled rotten about not doing the hard work it takes to get me where I want to be spiritually, mentally, and especially physically. That's my issue--cr$p genes--not so much--I wish I could blame it something/someone other than myself-my not consistently doing what it takes to be all that I can and should be--but that's just me, of course. :flowerforyou:
So can you explain to me why I can bring my HR from 140 to 190 in less than 1 minute but still have stubborn fat that squishes beneath my bra strap? I work very hard and will continue to do so and am in excellent cardiovascular health, but I am hanging onto fat in certain spots. This is caused by my genes, who aren't always the kindest friends to me. I'm not blaming my genes as an excuse for lack of effort on my own part, but because they ARE to blame for the locations of the fat deposits on my body.
If you hadn't done some consistent overeating at some point in your life, you wouldn't have fat that squishes beneath your bra strap, "crap genetics" or otherwise.
This is a quote (the bottom one, to clarify) that I have found absolutely appalling. Surely I can't be the one to say that it was totally uncalled for and hurtful. The girl is working her *kitten* off, performing cardio tasks as well as strengthening all the right parts of her body, yet is met with that comment. She acknowledged who she was before, that she has since been striving to improve, is currently frustrated with her body, and yet is reminded that it's her fault, that's what happened, deal with it, and it's not genetics.0 -
Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."
k.
Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.
This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.
And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".
And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.
So... enjoy your unicorn ride.
Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.
Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.
And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??
No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.
The comments YOU deem rude.
Work harder - May or may not apply in this case
She states she is not overweight, so one would assume she has been working. She needs to work on accepting those things she can't change. She certainly needs to work on her body image.
Excuse - May or may not apply in this case
I saw one person saying that she did indeed use poor genetics as an excuse, she helpfully offered her experience and perspective. Other people also said they thought it was an excuse but said it in a different way, this doesn't mean that their opinion is not valid, and this doesn't mean they were trying to be rude, mean or judgmental. They all have their own personal experiences to draw on as well, even if they didn't elaborate on them.
I'm really not trying to be rude here. This is an emotional issue for many, but I believe the people who are more logical and factual can help those who are very emotional about it.
Of course it's rude and insensitive. "Work harder" Okay, what makes you assume I'm not? Now comes another post having to defend herself, saying she does work harder, but why can't she complain? It's not "Just keep going, you'll see a difference eventually." It's "You got that way due to your own actions, if you're not seeing anything it's because you're not working hard enough. Clearly you're not doing something right."
In a time of need, I would not want to hear that. People can be a drill Sargent all they want about the matter, but the fact remains that everyone comes from different walks of life. If you want to be supportive and encouraging, then do so. However, you must learn to differentiate and express yourself in certain ways as to not offend someone. There are those who wear their hearts on their shoulder, those who are just starting, those who are naive and emotional, and so on and so forth. I don't care if this is the internet, what you are responding to is a motivation and support board. So if you are here to motivate and support, you must realize that the person who you are speaking to is not you, therefore treating them as such could be seen as hurtful.
I will go through the thread and try and provide specific examples to illustrate my point, but at this time I feel as though I'm wasting my breath and am greatly outnumbered. I would also like to point out that I'm not a bad person as someone has written to me previously, and I do not appreciate that statement made about me when all I've done this entire time is show support.
Not everyone is going to deliver the message in the words each person needs or wants. They are going to project their thoughts and opinions. Not everyone is going to like everything that is said to them.0 -
You can't blame genetic for everything. Having a set precoded genetics does not mean it WILL happen. Environment interacts with it very much.
You can do certain workouts to give certain body parts an "oomph oomph" - especially weight training. You sure you aren't loosing weight too fast - stick to 1 lb per week if you are.0 -
Not everyone is going to deliver the message in the words each person needs or wants. They are going to project their thoughts and opinions. Not everyone is going to like everything that is said to them.
What's wrong is that people say they have the freedom of speech. Although that's correct, people are compelled and feel the need to express such opinions and statements while completely disregarding the party they're responding to. If it doesn't hurt their own feelings, then who cares. They have the freedom to hurt others by their words, because it's legal. You have the freedom to be a douche bag (not you specifically, I should state that now because I'm not actually talking about you) but is it absolutely necessary? Someone is crying because they fell, and all they can say is "Suck it up, you shouldn't have fallen then."
I'm going to bow out now. I can't explain myself further. To all of those struggling with body image and need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, feel free to message or friend me. I'm in your boat. It's part of my anxiety, and unfortunately a main trigger for me. I'm learning to embrace my body, and I hope that everyone will learn to love themselves as well. We could all use that in our lives.0 -
I wouldn't necessarily call it "crap genetics" but I have a very large frame. I've come to accept that I will never be under a size 12. That was when I was 5'10'' and 147 pounds too.0
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Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that.
that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all
on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.
I'm in agreement with you. Learning to love what makes you different from everyone else is so important. We've all tried to say it here, with arguments going both ways. I don't know if OP is even still here or responding anymore, but I hope she's gotten something out of this, in a positive way.
And Cameron Diaz has broad shoulders and a large ribcage and is considered quite beautiful. there are examples all around us of how every body type can be found beautiful in so many ways.0 -
I'll chime in for all of you genetic "non-believers". I've been a police officer for the past 6 years in a large metropolitan city on the east coast. During my time on patrol I've met some MONSTERS. Guys who smoke weed day in/day out, eat cheetos and drink "grape drink", latent with HFC and other crap, eat fried foods/mac and cheese, greasy potato wedges from the corner store. These guys have no jobs, have a sedentary life style with the only physical activity being either playing basketball, shooting dice or occasionally running from the police yet they are chiseled to the bone and look like they lift heavy every day and have a clean, squared away diet. Hell I've met a few crack addicts with pretty impressive physiques, granted these are far a few between but I've seen it.
This is just ONE example
Okay... I used to run around with a lot of those guys.
The ones with the great physiques worked out while in jail. As a matter of fact, I knew meth heads that would get high and workout all day long. You may think they are sitting around being lazy, but odds are they are athletic and chiseled because, other than getting high, they spend their time working out.0 -
that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all
on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.
I'm in agreement with you. Learning to love what makes you different from everyone else is so important. We've all tried to say it here, with arguments going both ways. I don't know if OP is even still here or responding anymore, but I hope she's gotten something out of this, in a positive way.
And Cameron Diaz has broad shoulders and a large ribcage and is considered quite beautiful. there are examples all around us of how every body type can be found beautiful in so many ways.
Yes indeed! Same body type as me and I look at Cameron as inspiration.0 -
Wow, I didn't think this would start such a heated debate.
I just want to make a couple things clear... I love my body, I love being healthy and I feel totally sexy. But I'm sure everyone can understand those days where you look in the mirror and think "This is NOT what I was hoping to see..." That happens to the best of us at times, I'm sure even super models feel that way on some days! When I posted this topic, it was one of those days. I was more venting and making light of a situation! Of course I don't think that I actually have "crap genetics" but I just trying to make the point that unfortunately we can't chose where the fat comes off.
I'm sorry to everyone who has some sort of disease because of their genetics, this post wasn't meant to offend you.
Thanks to everyone who was defending me. I think people should realize that when something is posted on the internet, it was made by a complete stranger who has no idea who you are nor what your situation is like. I think it's funny (yes I'm sorry, I did laugh at quiet a few who were upset by the post) that everyone takes these posts so seriously and personally. Please don't think that I'm directly referring to you and that you should feel offended, I don't know you. If you do feel offended by this thread, that's completely down to you, not me. I can't make some random stranger on the internet feel bad about themselves, that's their own problem.
Anyways, thanks to everyone who shared their opinion, who took this post lightly and who realized I was just venting because I was having "one of those moments".
Best wishes to all (:0 -
Yes I was genetically engineered to crap daily.0
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Read the OP. Started reading the responses. Stop whining. Work harder. Or JSF.0
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Um, everyone's all "be happy with who you are" and stuff...
I have a HUGE butt. When I gain or lose weight, that's where it goes/comes from. Fine. Whatever. The biggest problem is that it doesn't take much to make it get bigger, but I have to kill myself to make it smaller.
Then there's my little sister. Great body. Only works out for muscle definition sometimes. Eats whatever she wants. NEVER GAINS A SINGLE POUND.
AND her hair is really shiny.
I got the short stick for sure.
I am 5'3", my sister is 5'11".
I literally got the short stick.0 -
Yes
but I look a lot better now I dropped 30lbs 0 -
Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that.
that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all
on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.
I'm in agreement with you. Learning to love what makes you different from everyone else is so important. We've all tried to say it here, with arguments going both ways. I don't know if OP is even still here or responding anymore, but I hope she's gotten something out of this, in a positive way.
And Cameron Diaz has broad shoulders and a large ribcage and is considered quite beautiful. there are examples all around us of how every body type can be found beautiful in so many ways.
:drinker: totally true. I too hope the OP and anyone else who doesn't like their healthy body because something about it isn't quite the shape they wanted gained something from this. And I realise that people hate their bodies usually because of other people's negativity towards it... the thing to remember is that the opinions of those people don't count and you can learn to appreciate what you've got in spite of these experiences... because we've all had them. The less fashionable your body type the more you've had them, and my body type isn't fashionable, but I like it nevertheless. Fashion is fickle and doesn't change the fact that ALL body types look great when you're fit, strong and healthy.
cystic fibrosis is crap genetics. My 2nd cousin had that and died in her 20s and spent most of her life having medical interventions including a lung transplant. Trisomy 13 is every worse genetics, because almost no-one survives babyhood with that. A big rib cage is the product of 600,000 years of natural selection for those who were tough and strong enough to survive the ice age climate of Europe and East Asia. Nothing crap about it.0 -
Um, everyone's all "be happy with who you are" and stuff...
I have a HUGE butt. When I gain or lose weight, that's where it goes/comes from. Fine. Whatever. The biggest problem is that it doesn't take much to make it get bigger, but I have to kill myself to make it smaller.
Then there's my little sister. Great body. Only works out for muscle definition sometimes. Eats whatever she wants. NEVER GAINS A SINGLE POUND.
AND her hair is really shiny.
I got the short stick for sure.
I am 5'3", my sister is 5'11".
I literally got the short stick.
I got the short stick too and I like being short. In fact I think I'd get vertigo if I was any taller so all's good.
and being short gives a mechanical advantage in many lifts, so :drinker:0 -
You all wonder about your genetics. How do you think it feels to not have ANY genetics? I don't have any knowledge about anything, or knowledge about anything that "could" happen. I know I look white, that's all. I know that there are good and bad things that I need to know, and never will.0
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