What's the point? Solitary Fat Woman.

pettychia

Yes, I know... What I was saying is that people take my stats or my goal and go, there's no way she knows anything about anything and they lecture me about my goals and my calories and everything without prompt. I can accept that anyone on here can bring good info to the table... I just wish more people did too.

Oh baby, no! You've lost 57 pounds -- you are killing it. If anything you have things to teach the other folks out there

deksgrl

I had to deal with disc issues too while losing weight - it's much improved now, but I still have challenges. I never let my weight or the injuries be an excuse - I kept on fighting. And it paid off. Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/my-thanks-to-the-man-of-steel-407835

How is it that all this time I've been missing your blog? The few entries I just read.... gold.

Graelwyn75

Well, I have never been really overweight, in fact my issues have mostly been with finding a balance, having had eating disorders on and off for 25 years, but I do have to work against the fact I have COPD (only 68% lung function) and I have a great interest in all things fitness and nutrition and like talking about them.

I also workout like a beast and love my food.
So feel free to add me, if you would like.

QuietBloom

If I try to find someone "just like me", I will probably have slim pickings. But if I look for people who have something I want, or have been where I am or are where I wanna be, the field is wide open.

Great attitude! :flowerforyou:

danasings

Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously?

Aren't you being hypocritical? Maybe people feel like you do. Alone and unmotivated.

I've been the fat friend and I've been the skinny friend. Both sides are lonely on the weightloss road. Sometimes you just need to do it for you and to stick it to the other people that A) Don't help you or Don't take you serious.

If you want to add me, I'm always on this damn thing.

Well, I guess if you want to take my reaching out as feeling sorry for myself, that's okay.

I was intending more to reference the very obese people who, rather than suck it up and do something already, just lament on being fat, and let it be an excuse. I won't claim perfection by any means... But it's very disheartening to be active on here and working and trying and friending people to mutually motivate and most of the time, I end up with friend bloat and wondering what happened to that initial driving force.

I'm not unmotivated. I'm anything but. I am just tempted to give up on MFP. My lamenting of being alone is about feeling like the only 400+lbs person busting my booty.

Ultimately I was just trying to reach out because I felt particularly depressed. Have had some really hard thoughts going through my head today that I don't think smaller people will understand... So I was hoping maybe someone would pop up and be like *beast arms*

When I started here, I had mostly very obese people on my FL, thinking that they'd better be able to know what I'm going through. That didn't work out so well. Mostly because our personalities and goals didn't always mesh. Then I started adding people based on attitude, and that went much much better. Can they always get exactly what I'm going through, mentally and physically? Hell no, nobody REALLY can. But, I can't always totally get what Amber is going through, she has medical conditions up the wazoo. That doesn't mean that I can't get that it's hard, and that I treasure her as a friend. There are many others on my list with other struggles. From brain hemorages to debilitating back issues. Sometimes it's just HARD. Mentally, physically, all of it. Please don't limit yourself to people who have gone through exactly the same thing. Good solid friends can help each other, even if they haven't had the same struggles.

^^^This is a great post.

OP, I can imagine how frustrating it must be. I didn't start from having over 100 to lose, but with an ED history, juggling severe PPD and having two kids in diapers (therefore sleeping maybe 4 hours/night if I was lucky) was challenging and made it seem impossible at times. And now that I'm almost at goal, I seem to be struggling more than ever. But I keep fighting the good fight, because it's better than the alternative. Hang in there, and best of luck. :flowerforyou:

EvgeniZyntx

Hi there.

Your story is your own and has value because of it. Not because it somehow melds into the echo of others.
Solitary. Or Not. Fat or thin I'm sure that you have had and will have small moments of grace and beauty and enjoyment all along as move forward, a bit of laughter or moments or doubt.

The friendships, conversation or advice we weave here are necessarily for a point. There might be no point individually but still, the sum of the individual parts, the stream and rumble and cascade of information, pushes and pulls helps build up and bring forward the person one wants to be.

And there might not be someone that has the exact same pain or issue as you (but I bet there might be) and still we have our own troubles and can understand and feel those of others. Someone that I appreciate a lot just had an operation in the last 24 hrs for "womanly troubles" and a few of my friends here have gone through hysterectomies, cancers or other losses. People do have a common experience and are truly great and supportive.

I went through somethings incredibly difficult in the almost two years I have been here and the warmth and support I received have truly been helpful. A web has been woven and, frankly from the support I've received, it's spread out from the screen into the lives of people around me. I'm honestly impressed by the people here.

Take care, hope your path is richer! :flowerforyou:

mthr2

I'm sorry that you are in pain, both physically and emotionally. I creeped your profile and think your journey seems amazing and difficult, past, present & future. I wish you every bit of just-hang-in-there-ness that you can muster on days like today. I wish you many more days of easy happiness. That said, I dig your hair and would like to learn from you.....but holy crap you have a lot of friends. Maybe you should dump 75% of them. Not sure why, but it just seems like a lot to keep up with.... Maybe even adds to the overwhelmingness of your endeavors. (Just making up words now.)

Quasita

I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

dlbredesen

Very well said. You just have to keep on keeping on. Tomorrow you will be a bit healthier than today. Progress is progress no matter how small.

Let me be clear, it's hard. It will always be at least a little hard. In 100 lbs, you will still have days you struggle. However, it's worth it. It's worth the struggle. 430 lbs is a size that can kill you. Would you rather die young or struggle for a few years to lose some weight and establish healthy habits?

I'm not trying to be mean. I sympathize with the feeling that this might take forever, but maybe it's time to stop thinking about how long it will take and start thinking about the benefits that you're getting out of it right now. How does your body feel compared to when you started? How much harder can you push yourself with exercise? If it's even a little bit better, that's progress. You. Are. Making. Progress. You're going to have to come to accept that however long this takes you, as long as you're trying, you're progressing.

See, I keep coming back to check in and responses like this just... ugh, I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I'm really not. But as I've repeated, I didn't say I was giving up losing weight. This type of response is kind of like saying, I didn't read what you were really saying, Q.

My weight is high. However, it isn't effectively killing me. Asking how my body feels with the progress I've made is a double-edged sword because I have been more sick and in pain in the last two years than I have in my whole life. I don't mean DOMS and the flu... I mean losing the weight has caused hormonal changes, that in turn have created catastrophic problems. At this point, losing weight "slow and steady" could be worse for me than anything else. I know what you're saying though.

The way it's been, I fully expect to lose the rest of my uterus to this. Sometimes I really regret ever starting. I was much happier overall. I could handle being fat then.

I just wanted to try and connect with someone that's dealing with something at least somewhat close, that's all. Facing a longer battle. Maybe even someone that has gotten sick because of it like me.

Sreneesa

I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

I do not think they didn't read the thread in its entirety, I think that the tone is ambiguous and some just took it as you were giving up based on some stuff you may have said.

Saying they didn't "bother" after they are trying to be positive is... nevermind... I think you are just having a bad day and nothing no one says is going to satisfy whatever you are looking for.

I do wish you the best and big hugs sent your way.

jennifer_417

The thing about MFP is that you kind of have to take it as you find it. I've watched people quit and come back 67434739 times, watched people quit and never come back, I've reached out for support and not received it, and other times I have.

The hard truth is that people are imperfect, and you can't really depend upon them to get you through this. At the end of the day, you have to find what you need within yourself to finish this journey. We can all cheer you on, but no one can do it for you.

Deipneus

I guess I'm sad about it all, and about to give up on MFP. Could use some motivation to keep it going.

Sorry. You're not alowed. As one of your MFP friends, I just can't let you do that.

I'll try and do better but have to admit, I am pretty shallow, at least on MFP.:flowerforyou:

kirsten2001

I think it's amazing you have come so far!! You are definately not alone in this struggle, and that's what it is...an everyday struggle. Keep it up and remember you are 100% worth it.

Annie_01

I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

People are just trying to reach out to you in the best way that they know how. Maybe we are not saying the words that you need to hear but IMO they were words spoken from their hearts.

Someone once said to me that they didn't know what to say when I was going through some trials...it didn't matter to me if they said the right words or not...what mattered is that they cared enough to reach out.

Sometimes you have to go past the words and see what is in another persons heart.

I_Will_End_You

Genuinely curious...what kind of health problems did losing weight cause? If it's in your blog, can you PM the blog to me? I looked through your profile and can't find it. (I admittedly have never used or read the blog feature)

michelleneli

I wish you well in your path to health whether on MFP or not.

Michelle in Ohio

5'6" 330lbs.

slauth

Because you matter and I matter we have got to hang in there

Cheechos

Long post incoming.

I usually get involved with comments when people seem to really want help... but in the end, they write-off what they don't like reading. It can be legitimately helpful and informed, but it doesn't matter. There's always a reason why it doesn't apply when you don't like it... That's the nature of life I suppose, but if you're not open to opinions, you shouldn't ask the public.

If people aren't taking your advice because they want to starve themselves on 800 calorie diets, don't give them any advice. In fact, it'd probably be best to stay away from giving advice entirely if a person is doing something that looks ridiculous or risky because a ton of folks are already going to be in there yelling at them like you want to. Resist the urge and only respond to thread creators who seem to be receptive to new ideas.

Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously? Who have moved past letting their heavy body be an excuse for why they don't exercise? Who will help me feel like I'm not so alone in fighting an almost impossible beast?

There are a ton of people who were/still are very fat and have worked or are continuing to work hard to reach their goals. In fact, I've noticed that a few of the more popular ones have graced this thread. Maybe you can FR them, or start a conversation by PMing them. A lot of the hard working people here seem to be very friendly.

Where are the thinner people who are genuinely interested in partnering and motivating, who don't assume that because you're super fat, they automatically know more than you? Those that will have a legitimate conversation about health topics, instead of going into lecture mode on the assumption that you brought up the topic because you're obese and don't know anything about it?

If someone is giving you unsolicited advice, tell them you're not interested in it and stop the conversation. There's really not a lot you can do to prevent it from happening in the first place, but letting people know you don't tolerate it is important. If you bring up a topic yourself and someone goes into lecture mode or starts discussing things you didn't want them to bring up, either clarify the kind of input you want from them or change the subject.

You say that you have a lot of people on your friend list who seem to be supportive and friendly. Engage them in the kinds of conversations you want! Don't give up on them, there are probably a few who genuinely want to help you and be there for you. Scour the forums for people who look like they're working their butts off and add them. Join groups. If you want to stay social on MFP then approach it like you're approaching your weight loss. Keep on rolling until you find the kind of people you want to surround yourself with.

Iwishyouwell

I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

I think you're having a bad day (week? month? life?), aren't expressing yourself clearly, and seem to be dismissing the very people who have taken their time to try and offer the kind of support you say you're not getting from the MFP community.

Your posts so far in this thread are coming off very ungrateful and borderline rude.

jofjltncb6

I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

If you don't use MFP, how will you track your calories?