People suck.
Replies
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Mocking the office for not having her ironclad willpower is hardly "handling it well" IMO. If this really was so unimportant to the OP, I doubt she would have posted a thread seeking validation for her snub.
Where precisely did she mock anyone? She described what most food laden events become... all you can eat binges. She did NOT however say that it was unhealthy for anyone else, she didn't express distaste for their choices, nor did she impose her "willpower" choice on anyone else.
Are you trying to create drama? Because it certainly is odd to be so defensive of some random people you've never met in a situation that wasn't as serious as you're making it out to be.
Oui, this is silly. So much butt hurt over some random persons food choices.0 -
I'll totally give you that. Though, I choose a random number... I don't actually think 9 out of 10 people are jealous. But your reasoning is just as valid. Can we agree however, no matter how light hearted it is when you are just starting this journey it becomes discouraging to have constant reminders that you are separating yourself from the group? As humans we are often so pack orientated that making the decision to do something different is unnerving enough, and it's only natural to get frustrated when others pick on that choice. Would you agree that she is justified in feeling that frustration?
(and no need for trepidation, I'm only a sarcastic *kitten* when approached with juvenile sentiment .. I'm very fond of mature debate)
Much agreed. If I wasn't eating a salad for lunch than everyone who walked into the break room felt the need to make a comment on whatever it was. It got to the point where I was eating my food out in my car just so I didn't have to deal with folks. What ended up happening was that one of the guys that was giving me the hardest time, ended up searching me out and telling me that everyone was asking about me and some of them were worried since they knew I was trying to lose weight and thought I was hurting or sick. Long story short, it was horrible execution for well intentions from all involved, myself included. Excluding myself wasn't the answer, much as their teasing. Making a dramatic change from the popular culture is terrifying to start out and can be very frustrating. My whole contention with the OP was more with her mindset of "the stuff fest". Kind of like the different threads where folks demonize certain foods, there is no reason to point at an office potluck with the amount of disdain she seemed to hold at first.0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
Oh, so lunch was a total surprise? And it was impossible to change the food diary in the afternoon or evening? Ok, wow! That was omitted from the OP.
If were impossible to ever change a diary entry, or to make up from a big food day, then I might have agreed. All I know is life is change, and you gotta learn to take things one day at a time and to make adjustments as needed without freaking out. :flowerforyou:
I'm pretty sure no one's freaking out. In fact she handled it quite well IMO. You're right, life IS change, and that's what she is trying to do with hers. It wouldn't hurt any of us to respect her dedication. I'd agree with you if she had went psychotic on her fellow workers, but in this instance she is only expressing her frustration to us. Nothing wrong with that as it IS a support thread right?
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
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Office pot luck lunches were one of my earlier challenges to overcome. Sometimes, I would be the first one at the door. I try to always remember that peoples' goals are different than mine now. Unless they actually been down this journey then they don't have a glue as to your struggles to lose weight. I remain respectful but no longer attend office pot luck lunches even though I strongly believe in moderation. If anyone would ask, I am honest with them and never had any problems. As far as waving the plate of food in your face, I really don't think they meant any harm. Co-workers could be silly at times, especially over free food. Just try and remember that people have to come to terms with overeating just like we did and it takes longer for some. The same with family and friends. Try not to allow it to upset you too much.0
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Stay cheerful and don't enter the conversation?0
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Rock on sister. Welcome to the club....I just ignore them....do your thing and smile at your success
At the end of the day they are just jealous. 0 -
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
To each their own I guess. Well, you go ahead and continue to ridicule the ridiculed and I'll keep seeing what I can do to help, in the end we'll see who comes out with the positive result. Luck to you. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'll totally give you that. Though, I choose a random number... I don't actually think 9 out of 10 people are jealous. But your reasoning is just as valid. Can we agree however, no matter how light hearted it is when you are just starting this journey it becomes discouraging to have constant reminders that you are separating yourself from the group? As humans we are often so pack orientated that making the decision to do something different is unnerving enough, and it's only natural to get frustrated when others pick on that choice. Would you agree that she is justified in feeling that frustration?
(and no need for trepidation, I'm only a sarcastic *kitten* when approached with juvenile sentiment .. I'm very fond of mature debate)
Much agreed. If I wasn't eating a salad for lunch than everyone who walked into the break room felt the need to make a comment on whatever it was. It got to the point where I was eating my food out in my car just so I didn't have to deal with folks. What ended up happening was that one of the guys that was giving me the hardest time, ended up searching me out and telling me that everyone was asking about me and some of them were worried since they knew I was trying to lose weight and thought I was hurting or sick. Long story short, it was horrible execution for well intentions from all involved, myself included. Excluding myself wasn't the answer, much as their teasing. Making a dramatic change from the popular culture is terrifying to start out and can be very frustrating. My whole contention with the OP was more with her mindset of "the stuff fest". Kind of like the different threads where folks demonize certain foods, there is no reason to point at an office potluck with the amount of disdain she seemed to hold at first.
Again, I can totally see your point. I don't see her as demonizing food yet, and it would be unfair of me to make that assumption based on one comment. I took a look at her diary and she's eating in a health range, a variety of foods as well. I think she just chose a bad descriptive in this situation. I think however, if we help her cope vs. ridicule her? We could help her learn to handle those situations better. Trust me, I'd be a jerk if she'd responded to anyone with disrespect... but she's not been an *kitten* at all. Quite sweet rather, just frustrated.0 -
Ah, OP, I know how annoying that is. But people honestly don't know what they're doing. It's one thing if they KNOW you are trying to change your lifestyle and are flaunting food in your face. That, IMO, is just rude and unwanted behavior. Their behavior was uncalled for, but I don't think they meant to be mean.
But I agree with what someone else posted earlier. Humans are awkward and weird. If they see you doing something different, they don't know how to act. Common sense would be to just not react at all, and keep their noses out of your plate, but well, a lot of humans lack that, and some are just nosy and/or concerned.
I sometimes get those comments because potlucks scare me lol. I'll only eat the food where I know who cooked it. I don't want to eat food if your cat was on the counter dropping her dingleberries in the bowl or if you are a "taster (sticking your fingers in the bowl or licking the spoon)" LOL but i'm deviating from the topic.
Just ignore them and continue to eat your own food. Or you can just eat small portions. But only if you want to. Don't let anyone else dictate your choices.:flowerforyou:0 -
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
To each their own I guess. Well, you go ahead and continue to ridicule the ridiculed and I'll keep seeing what I can do to help, in the end we'll see who comes out with the positive result. Luck to you. :flowerforyou:
Not ridiculing anyone, just providing alternative reactions to an office luncheon. :flowerforyou:0 -
I sometimes get those comments because potlucks scare me lol. I'll only eat the food where I know who cooked it. I don't want to eat food if your cat was on the counter dropping her dingleberries in the bowl or if you are a "taster (sticking your fingers in the bowl or licking the spoon)" LOL but i'm deviating from the topic.
I laughed out loud. That is so true!0 -
Hehehe...it's so true though!0
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This is... kind of funny to me. Not funny ha-ha, but I guess kind of ironic. My co-worker and I are both losing weight, in different ways and with different methods, but we help back each other up. She weighs her food, down to the iota, because she's focused on getting to a certain body fat percentage. She also has celiac disease, so she has to be VERY careful about what she eats. She's CONSTANTLY getting remarks in the office about "Oh wow, you're weighing again?" or "Chicken again?" and so on. When she first told me this, I didn't really believe it. I get a comment or two, because people are naturally curious about things that they don't understand. But I've witnessed it... from more than one person, multiple times.
However, she will join in on the celebrations when we have group activities. She'll adjust her journal and her diet to fit it in, so that she can partake because she understands that when she brings her own food, people can take offense. They often feel as if their food isn't good enough, that you think you're better than them, etc. This may not be the case at all, but from your tone, it may hit closer to home than intended.
Also, coworkers DO feel its okay to tease each other, especially if they like you or are close to you. If you've never mentioned that you don't like it when they act like that, they may think that its perfectly acceptable and that you have no issues with it.
I've started saying "Yep, I've got goals to reach and I need to stick to my guns! I really appreciate all the effort you guys put in though!" You catch more flies with honey....
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This is... kind of funny to me. Not funny ha-ha, but I guess kind of ironic. My co-worker and I are both losing weight, in different ways and with different methods, but we help back each other up. She weighs her food, down to the iota, because she's focused on getting to a certain body fat percentage. She also has celiac disease, so she has to be VERY careful about what she eats. She's CONSTANTLY getting remarks in the office about "Oh wow, you're weighing again?" or "Chicken again?" and so on. When she first told me this, I didn't really believe it. I get a comment or two, because people are naturally curious about things that they don't understand. But I've witnessed it... from more than one person, multiple times.
However, she will join in on the celebrations when we have group activities. She'll adjust her journal and her diet to fit it in, so that she can partake because she understands that when she brings her own food, people can take offense. They often feel as if their food isn't good enough, that you think you're better than them, etc. This may not be the case at all, but from your tone, it may hit closer to home than intended.
Also, coworkers DO feel its okay to tease each other, especially if they like you or are close to you. If you've never mentioned that you don't like it when they act like that, they may think that its perfectly acceptable and that you have no issues with it.
I've started saying "Yep, I've got goals to reach and I need to stick to my guns! I really appreciate all the effort you guys put in though!" You catch more flies with honey....
So what you are saying is that in order for her to stick to a plan that has nothing to do with affecting their way of life, she has to walk on egg shells to not make them feel uncomfortable about something trival... but it's okay for them to make her feel uncomfortable in her pursuit to feel better about herself because they "could" be offended if she didn't take a bite of lasagna?
Not sure how that's okay.0 -
This is... kind of funny to me. Not funny ha-ha, but I guess kind of ironic. My co-worker and I are both losing weight, in different ways and with different methods, but we help back each other up. She weighs her food, down to the iota, because she's focused on getting to a certain body fat percentage. She also has celiac disease, so she has to be VERY careful about what she eats. She's CONSTANTLY getting remarks in the office about "Oh wow, you're weighing again?" or "Chicken again?" and so on. When she first told me this, I didn't really believe it. I get a comment or two, because people are naturally curious about things that they don't understand. But I've witnessed it... from more than one person, multiple times.
However, she will join in on the celebrations when we have group activities. She'll adjust her journal and her diet to fit it in, so that she can partake because she understands that when she brings her own food, people can take offense. They often feel as if their food isn't good enough, that you think you're better than them, etc. This may not be the case at all, but from your tone, it may hit closer to home than intended.
Also, coworkers DO feel its okay to tease each other, especially if they like you or are close to you. If you've never mentioned that you don't like it when they act like that, they may think that its perfectly acceptable and that you have no issues with it.
I've started saying "Yep, I've got goals to reach and I need to stick to my guns! I really appreciate all the effort you guys put in though!" You catch more flies with honey....
So what you are saying is that in order for her to stick to a plan that has nothing to do with affecting their way of life, she has to walk on egg shells to not make them feel uncomfortable about something trival... but it's okay for them to make her feel uncomfortable in her pursuit to feel better about herself because they "could" be offended if she didn't take a bite of lasagna?
Not sure how that's okay.
Not sure how I said any of that. I said what "she does" (my coworker) and "what I do". I've also tried to explain what the other side may be thinking, and it could be that both sides see themselves as the victim. Just trying to give a little perspective to similar situations. And its true, you win over more people with niceness than you will with rudeness. Especially when it comes to coworkers, the balance of happiness is a thin one. I, personally, would rather get along with my coworkers by making the SMALL sacrifice of eating someone's home cooking vs. getting worked up over someone else's opinion. I never said she had to do anything, nor did I suggest that their feelings overrode hers.
Again "If you've never mentioned that you don't like it when they act like that, they may think that its perfectly acceptable and that you have no issues with it." This is the only thing that I actually said about the OP's situation. If she doesn't speak up about it, it's not going to change, and she's going to keep resenting them over it and they're going to keep saying it and she's going to start hating work and nothing positive will come out of it.
I didn't realize that mentioning portion control and other people's feeling were taboo. My bad.0 -
I guess the trick is to ignore them, inside and out. Just focus on your lunch and don't react to them. If the first person doesn't get a reaction, the pack mentality won't set in. Once you react to the first person it's all over. Sometimes really polite people think they need to respond to anyone who speaks to them including rude people. You don't need to respond!
You can be happy regardless of what they say and do. Just stay focused on your goals and imagine yourself walking around the pool in an itty bitty bathing suit come July-August. Replace every negative thought/reaction with a positive one. Be cool. :glasses:0 -
I had a very similar experience at a workplace. The food that was cooked was often VERY carb heavy...and multiple choices of dessert every meal. I typically brought my own lunches. One day, the dessert was strawberry cake. It looked AMAZING. Yes, I was fixated somewhat...but then I said "no" AND OMG EVERY co-worker had something to say. One co-worker actually waved the cake on a plate in front of my face.
While suddenly, I made a joke of it...another co worker (who was also eating the cake) shut the entire table up by saying "we are just pressuring you to eat the cake because we feel guilty for eating it". Done.
To add...this was a drug/alcohol treatment centre for youth. Needless to say...I used it as a perfect example of how even as adults, you experience peer pressure and just have to say NO.0 -
Would of left the office to have lunch.0
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So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.0 -
So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.
Wow, that was hostile.0 -
My husband has this same problem. Sometimes the hardest part of dieting is other people. Especially when you work in an office. Hold to your guns! Then you can be the skinny ***** they all hate:) Keep up the good work!0
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We hired 2 new people. Apparently that's a reason to eat tons and tons of food. I brought my lunch, as usual. I don't care to participate in the stuffing-of-faces-until-we-can't-breathe-fest.
Pot. Kettle.
How about we all just stop making it our business what other people eat?
^Agreed. OP, you might not have "meant" it..but...it was said. I know tone via text can be hard to read but the intention/bitterness of it all with a touch of judgey is kind of hard to misinterpret.0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
No one got fat in one day. Just saying.0 -
So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.
Wow, that was hostile.
But not untrue. I'm always amazed how many people that whole 'they're just jealous' junk our parents tell us to heart and never grow up enough to realize that's just a line people tell kids to make them feel better when the other kids aren't nice to them.
As it turns out...some people just don't like you/the stuff you do/the way you act. It doesn't make them jealous...it just means they don't like your *kitten*.0 -
So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.
Wow, that was hostile.
Straight truth =/= Hostile. Sorry you don't understand it.0 -
I translate it to exercise. I'd love that cinnamon roll but I have to walk two miles to keep it off my thighs and I have work to do this afternoon..... Seriously, when I found out that the slice of toast meant over a mile with the dog I thought I would either have to choose to wear the legs off the dog or just skip the toast. Skipping the toast was the lazier way, and I always try to save my precious time.0
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So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.
Wow, that was hostile.
Me thinks you should look up the definition of 'hostile'. It's called bluntness and snark.
Oh yeah. And truth.0 -
So today we had a slightly impromptu potluck and I thought I'd share the results. It was slightly impromptu because I completely forgot about it until last night.
I managed to leave 500 calories in my day, AND I ate the potluck food, AND I didn't have to come to MFP to rant about the stuff your face fest or how horrible people treated me.
I managed all of that by offering to cook something I knew fit into my calories (shredded chicken taco filling with red leaf lettuce wrap), taking small portions of food I had to have, and not taking one of everything. I had a half of a doughnut, a half cup of corn salad, and turned down the queso and chips. No one asked me why I wasn't taking queso, because I was engaging with them, had food on my plate, and didn't act like this was some huge conscious act of sabotage to my diet.
Also, just to note, people not liking what one is doing is NOT a sign of jealousy. I wish people would stop with that.
Person #1 "That girl said my dress was unflattering."
Person #2 "Oh nevermind her, she's just jealous you can wear those (bright clashing fugly) prints."
Person #1 "Oh yeah, totally. Poor loser."
No, she's not jealous. That's really an unflattering dress. But if it makes one feel better when one receives criticism, well, okay then.
Wow, that was hostile.
Hostile?
Sounds pretty true to me.0 -
And, on the jealously note, what are people jealous of in this situation? The OP and how she isn't eating what is supposed to be tasty food? ...k. I know I boil with jealously when I see people not eating delicious food.
Like. Wut?0 -
The OP is allowed to hold opinions about things. We all have unkind thoughts. She didn't share those thoughts with the people at work. She vented here. It's all good.0
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