People suck.

DucklingtoSwan

DO slap it out of her hand. That's all it would take, is just one time. No one would ever bother you about food again.

If you get in trouble, claim it was an accident. Dead serious. I don't stand for that kind of crap.

This is one of those times I wish we could "like" posts :devil:

amy_kee

Brittney (who started this thread), you are TOTALLY RIGHT. So many people are so ignorant about so many things they open their mouth about and spout about things. It gets totally frustrating and is so uncalled for. People really need to be better educated, and from the proper sources. The more educated a person is, the more they don't try to go around and tell others how they should do things. This is usually from uneducated people who just think that they know so much about so many things. These people don't even have the sense to learn the correct information from the right sources, and it goes on and on.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

DO slap it out of her hand. That's all it would take, is just one time. No one would ever bother you about food again.

If you get in trouble, claim it was an accident. Dead serious. I don't stand for that kind of crap.

Wow. This is just horrible advice. Advocating violent reactions is not really cool, and though you may "claim" it to be an accident may not end up being seen as such. How about trying the grown up approach of saying No firmly and then ignoring if necessary.

Oh, please. Knocking a plate of food out of your own face that's being thrust at you against your will is hardly "violent". And OP DID say no firmly, and it's not working, clearly. Speak softly, and carry a big stick, I say.

MyChocolateDiet

DO slap it out of her hand. That's all it would take, is just one time. No one would ever bother you about food again.

If you get in trouble, claim it was an accident. Dead serious. I don't stand for that kind of crap.

Wow. This is just horrible advice. Advocating violent reactions is not really cool, and though you may "claim" it to be an accident may not end up being seen as such. How about trying the grown up approach of saying No firmly and then ignoring if necessary.

Oh, please. Knocking a plate of food out of your own face that's being thrust at you against your will is hardly "violent". And OP DID say no firmly, and it's not working, clearly. Speak softly, and carry a big stick, I say.

May I offer an alternate scenario. After having firmly said "No" i see no reason waved plate cannot be accepted and then marched straight to the trash can or back onto some table somewhere. Smacking out of the hand may be necessary if this was a habitual offender of the PAB variety. That lady sounds like she had some kind of vendetta.

MyChocolateDiet

I know exactly where the OP is coming from. When I worked in an office I was not only the biggest woman there, but just about the biggest PERSON. Maybe ten pounds separated me from the biggest man there, and I'm not sure which of us was on the lower side. They were all big on food-laden celebrations, too. Thankfully there were only a few particularly rabid 'food-pushers', and they were mostly well-meaning, equal opportunity pushers, offering treats to anybody and everybody. However their Queen, well, we'll just call her PAB (passive-aggressive *****), made it her life's mission to get me, the one and only fat girl in the whole office, to eat. For almost ten years, it seemed she spent more time lingering in front of my desk pushing one food or another than she did working. Even when she went around offering stuff to others, she'd barely react whether they accepted or refused, but she'd act personally offended if I didn't take something (no, she didn't bake anything herself, she didn't even cook.) Seriously, imagine a 50-something year old woman pouting because you wouldn't take a doughnut.

If I wasn't there, I'd come back to find a big platter of whatever goodies, and she'd claim she'd put them there for "your end of the department.". "No" was just a sound she could not comprehend. If I broke down just to get rid of her and said yes, thank you, she'd actually get this look of smug satisfaction, and then linger around as long as she could to watch me eat it, if she could get away with it. I usually just told her I was saving it for break ("Oh, you don't have to, I'll bring you another one!"). If I held my ground and politely but firmly refused, she'd whisper to people that I was rude, she was just trying to be nice to me and I 'threw it in her face.' Once in a while the visits would die down - I suspected she sometimes got 'spoken to' about her excessive socializing - but lord help me if I had to pass her desk to get to the copy machine. She was also fascinated when I did eat anything, and had to comment on everything that went into my mouth. This was annoying enough even when I wasn't actively trying to diet.

It grew so bad that I dreaded the office social functions and started avoiding them. Which in turn only served to have her ramp up her efforts "I noticed you missed the party so here, I brought you a little" (plunks down a paper plate that is practically dissolving under the weight of the desserts/cheese/whatever.) And it had the added result of then making ME look like a snob to everyone else for not attending.

I guess my point is, we all have our breaking points. And as I read OP's post I just heard PAB's voice and saw her standing over me waving a plate full of food that was tempting enough as it was (even if I already had a few treats in front of me, that would not have satisfied her.) OP was sitting there, minding her own business and bought her own food, so she could participate and socialize with everyone... but those people, who I'm sure are otherwise very nice, wouldn't let up and I think I would have felt the same way she did. Having been there, I applaud her ability to hold it together.

(It ONLY got better when I stopped worrying about being so polite. If she was going to call me "rude" anyway, I decided it was worth it for her to leave me in peace for a while.)

Your post made me really sad and is one of the few posts on here that really sounded like someone really had it in for you for some other reason and made it her life's work to harrass you and on such a sensitive point. At the risk of being accused of derailing the thread I just had to let you know I'm really sorry you went through that. We all have to work with crazy people and I'm so sorry yours was relentless and overly focused on you. So many people on here imagine that someone is out to get them but in your case it sounds like she really was for whatever reason. Hope you are in a better place now.:flowerforyou:

AllOutof_Bubblegum

DO slap it out of her hand. That's all it would take, is just one time. No one would ever bother you about food again.

If you get in trouble, claim it was an accident. Dead serious. I don't stand for that kind of crap.

Wow. This is just horrible advice. Advocating violent reactions is not really cool, and though you may "claim" it to be an accident may not end up being seen as such. How about trying the grown up approach of saying No firmly and then ignoring if necessary.

Oh, please. Knocking a plate of food out of your own face that's being thrust at you against your will is hardly "violent". And OP DID say no firmly, and it's not working, clearly. Speak softly, and carry a big stick, I say.

May I offer an alternate scenario. After having firmly said "No" i see no reason waved plate cannot be accepted and then marched straight to the trash can or back onto some table somewhere. Smacking out of the hand may be necessary if this was a habitual offender of the PAB variety. That lady sounds like she had some kind of vendetta.

Or just wetly cough into the plate :laugh:

domeimazn

Let the haters hate!

ashleyisgreat

This is still happening?

Well...in so I can read about potluck rage later.

MyChocolateDiet

DO slap it out of her hand. That's all it would take, is just one time. No one would ever bother you about food again.

If you get in trouble, claim it was an accident. Dead serious. I don't stand for that kind of crap.

Wow. This is just horrible advice. Advocating violent reactions is not really cool, and though you may "claim" it to be an accident may not end up being seen as such. How about trying the grown up approach of saying No firmly and then ignoring if necessary.

Oh, please. Knocking a plate of food out of your own face that's being thrust at you against your will is hardly "violent". And OP DID say no firmly, and it's not working, clearly. Speak softly, and carry a big stick, I say.

May I offer an alternate scenario. After having firmly said "No" i see no reason waved plate cannot be accepted and then marched straight to the trash can or back onto some table somewhere. Smacking out of the hand may be necessary if this was a habitual offender of the PAB variety. That lady sounds like she had some kind of vendetta.

Or just wetly cough into the plate :laugh:

Or moistly.

wheird

You could have eaten the food, OP. By refusing to partake in the social ritual of shared food, you rejected those in your work community.

jillyber

I've actually gotten the stink eye when people come in with homemade baked goods and I say no thank you. So what I've learned is to take it, and then throw it away when they're not looking. Take a plate of food, then push it around your plate and when someone asks, tell them it's your second helping and you're stuffed. There are work-arounds !
[/quote

This^^^I worked at a vet office where cake was a weekly treat. I decided not to argue with them, took a piece of cake and then threw it in the garbage. I hate throwing away food, but I hated all the comments. I figured better in the waste than on the waist.

hilousna08

I use Herbalife, and everyone(I worked @ a school) gave e a hard time, until they saw my results,and then, thanks to my amazing results, quite a few got on the nutrition plan! And I was in business. I just kept saying I'm trying to get healthy...

Pearlsbabygirl

I didn't like what I saw for your "Topic" but I totally understand why you put that! Some people can be so rude. Don't you just want to say something really BAD back at them? :explode: Just say nicely, "My doctor advised me against eating at pot-lucks" lol

jamiesavatt

I completely understand! It's like working in an office and eating tons of food go together. We have food days for EVERYTHING!!

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I use Herbalife, and everyone(I worked @ a school) gave e a hard time, until they saw my results,and then, thanks to my amazing results, quite a few got on the nutrition plan! And I was in business. I just kept saying I'm trying to get healthy...

Strong first post.

Obvious Herbalife pusher is obvious. :laugh:

histora

Wait, so am I an "internet gangster" or a "rabid dog" for expressing *my* opinion, without name calling or patronizing other members?

I still stand by my opinion. OP could have handled it much differently, stopped being so standoffish with her coworkers, AND continued to lose weight. It just meant she had to try a little harder.



(I tried finding a gangster foaming at the mouth emoticon but no such luck.)

nikkihk

I use Herbalife, and everyone(I worked @ a school) gave e a hard time, until they saw my results,and then, thanks to my amazing results, quite a few got on the nutrition plan! And I was in business. I just kept saying I'm trying to get healthy...

GertrudeHorse

Again, I didn't put anyone down for the food choices they made. I tried to be as polite as possible when SEVERAL comments were made, including the plate in my face incident (how I succeeded in being nice, I don't know). I would love to eat that food. It's been smelling up the office since 8 am. I didn't exclude myself from the potluck entirely, I just didn't eat that food. I didn't say anything in a snotty way or make anyone uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn't go around saying "I'm eating a granola bar and you're all eating ****ty food, you should be eating what I'm eating because I'm better than you!!" I kept my cool. Not saying I'm perfect or any measure of the word, just trying REALLY hard and they make it hard to stick with it. That's all. I wouldn't go out of my way to put down anyone's choices. Usually I'm excited for the stuff-fest, because I like to cook (and eat) but not this time around.. I know that some were just trying to include me (which I appreciate), but some were just downright rude, per the usual.

Attending a social gathering you knew about ahead of time where people have gone out of their way to make food for the group and not only not eating, but making a point of eating food you brought for yourself and only yourself in front of them is rude. It would be one thing if you had special dietary needs, but you obviously do not as you've eaten the food before and people have seen you do it. You didn't need to verbally say anything to people, your actions spoke for themselves.

I agree with this. IMO the OP had two socially-acceptable options: 1) excuse herself from the pot-luck entirely 2) bring something healthy to contribute and eat a small portion along with everyone else. Bringing your own single portion of food and eating it in front of everyone else is really an in-your-face breach of etiquette. Your actions would have made everyone else uncomfortable which is why they reacted like they did. It doesn't make their reaction okay or anything, but some forward planning could have avoided this situation altogether. I guess you know for next time :flowerforyou:

MyChocolateDiet

I use Herbalife, and everyone(I worked @ a school) gave e a hard time, until they saw my results,and then, thanks to my amazing results, quite a few got on the nutrition plan! And I was in business. I just kept saying I'm trying to get healthy...

Wow, I never heard of Herbalife.. what is it? Tell me more, can I get it at the store? :devil:

mommy_witcurls

We have pot lucks at least twice a month a work. I only eat what healthy depending on what the theme is.

ndj1979

I use Herbalife, and everyone(I worked @ a school) gave e a hard time, until they saw my results,and then, thanks to my amazing results, quite a few got on the nutrition plan! And I was in business. I just kept saying I'm trying to get healthy...

meanwhile in Libya...

monicapatituccijones

It's perfectly acceptable, etiquette-wise, to bring your own food to a potluck when you're dieting. This wasn't a hosted event. If the OP had had food allergies, people would hardly expect her to eat something that would make her sick. Adults have no business telling other adults what to eat.

nikkihk

meanwhile in Libya...

BEST GIF EVER.

Aesop101

Tuesday my General Manager brought in a Pecan Sweet Potato Pie and asked if I wanted some. I told him no, I've been on a diet a day and a half. I was going for humor. It worked. He then said, "Good for you!"

That's the kind of people I work with.

craftywitch_63

I know exactly where the OP is coming from. When I worked in an office I was not only the biggest woman there, but just about the biggest PERSON. Maybe ten pounds separated me from the biggest man there, and I'm not sure which of us was on the lower side. They were all big on food-laden celebrations, too. Thankfully there were only a few particularly rabid 'food-pushers', and they were mostly well-meaning, equal opportunity pushers, offering treats to anybody and everybody. However their Queen, well, we'll just call her PAB (passive-aggressive *****), made it her life's mission to get me, the one and only fat girl in the whole office, to eat. For almost ten years, it seemed she spent more time lingering in front of my desk pushing one food or another than she did working. Even when she went around offering stuff to others, she'd barely react whether they accepted or refused, but she'd act personally offended if I didn't take something (no, she didn't bake anything herself, she didn't even cook.) Seriously, imagine a 50-something year old woman pouting because you wouldn't take a doughnut.

If I wasn't there, I'd come back to find a big platter of whatever goodies, and she'd claim she'd put them there for "your end of the department.". "No" was just a sound she could not comprehend. If I broke down just to get rid of her and said yes, thank you, she'd actually get this look of smug satisfaction, and then linger around as long as she could to watch me eat it, if she could get away with it. I usually just told her I was saving it for break ("Oh, you don't have to, I'll bring you another one!"). If I held my ground and politely but firmly refused, she'd whisper to people that I was rude, she was just trying to be nice to me and I 'threw it in her face.' Once in a while the visits would die down - I suspected she sometimes got 'spoken to' about her excessive socializing - but lord help me if I had to pass her desk to get to the copy machine. She was also fascinated when I did eat anything, and had to comment on everything that went into my mouth. This was annoying enough even when I wasn't actively trying to diet.

It grew so bad that I dreaded the office social functions and started avoiding them. Which in turn only served to have her ramp up her efforts "I noticed you missed the party so here, I brought you a little" (plunks down a paper plate that is practically dissolving under the weight of the desserts/cheese/whatever.) And it had the added result of then making ME look like a snob to everyone else for not attending.

I guess my point is, we all have our breaking points. And as I read OP's post I just heard PAB's voice and saw her standing over me waving a plate full of food that was tempting enough as it was (even if I already had a few treats in front of me, that would not have satisfied her.) OP was sitting there, minding her own business and bought her own food, so she could participate and socialize with everyone... but those people, who I'm sure are otherwise very nice, wouldn't let up and I think I would have felt the same way she did. Having been there, I applaud her ability to hold it together.

(It ONLY got better when I stopped worrying about being so polite. If she was going to call me "rude" anyway, I decided it was worth it for her to leave me in peace for a while.)

Here's the bottom line, OP: NO ONE has any right to tell you what you should, should not, can or can't eat. Not your mother, your doctor, your best friend, your co-workers or your pet turtle. To you and the poster that I quoted, you both get the Hostile Work Environment Awards for co-workers that attempt to intimidate you with food. Vendors come in my office all the time. Most of them understand that I am a diabetic (I'm also a binge eater, none of the vendors know that, however.) All but one brings me a Starbucks unsweetened black iced tea and I love them for it. One brings muffins and candy all the time. Her lame excuse? "Well, some of it is sugar free - you kind of have to dig around in the bag but it's there." Since it's against federal law for me to discriminate against her company when making referrals, I don't but I'd sure as he11 like to.

Definition of hostile work environment (sorry it's from wikipedia - the actual law wouldn't copy and paste to this board so this was the best I could do):

"A hostile work environment exists when an employee experiences workplace harassment and fears going to work because of the offensive, intimidating, or oppressive atmosphere generated by the harasser."

"The United States Supreme Court stated in Oncale v. Sundowner Offshore Services,[4] that Title VII is 'not a general civility code.' Thus, federal law within the USA does not prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not extremely serious. Rather, the conduct must be so objectively offensive as to alter the conditions of the individual's employment. The conditions of employment are altered only if the harassment culminates in a tangible employment action or are sufficiently severe or pervasive."

This does not seem to be simple teasing or offhand comments and from your post it's not an isolated incident, either. Tell the PAB that if she waves a plate of food in your face again you'll hit her where it REALLY hurts - her employment!! :noway:

jenilla1

Stuff like this is going to come up all the time. Personally, I would have used the potluck as practice in social eating - making good choices and taking proper serving sizes. I would have joined in with the feast, but just made sure I did it healthfully. But you shouldn't be made to feel bad because you didn't. Sorry your co-workers are so rude, OP.

histora

It's perfectly acceptable, etiquette-wise, to bring your own food to a potluck when you're dieting. This wasn't a hosted event. If the OP had had food allergies, people would hardly expect her to eat something that would make her sick. <b>Adults have no business telling other adults what to eat.</b>

Tell that to Dr Oz and all the other quacks. They make a killing offa telling people what (and what not) to eat.

But seriously, why make yourself an island when you could bring a dish to the potluck that fits in your macros/micros and be a bridge? Does diet mean something like "never can eat not-homemade-food ever again" or something? I seriously don't get this reasoning that one potluck that isn't all made by the dieter will condemn the dieter to calorie hell.

jmath911

At potlucks I offer to bring a veggie tray or something else I can easily eat. Food is fuel, but eating is also social. People really don't care if you eat or not they want to include you in the group, which is kind of nice.

DucklingtoSwan

Your post made me really sad and is one of the few posts on here that really sounded like someone really had it in for you for some other reason and made it her life's work to harrass you and on such a sensitive point. At the risk of being accused of derailing the thread I just had to let you know I'm really sorry you went through that. We all have to work with crazy people and I'm so sorry yours was relentless and overly focused on you. So many people on here imagine that someone is out to get them but in your case it sounds like she really was for whatever reason. Hope you are in a better place now.:flowerforyou:

Thanks and I have definitely been in a much better place since I left two years ago this summer :bigsmile: I'm sure she did not miss me much. She was just one of those individuals whose only life's pleasure was to be up in everyone's business and try to control and manipulate those around her. She made everybody - and I mean everybody - crazy in one way or another. With me, her thing just happened to be food. I think all this time later I do understand at least some of the motivations behind it, though it doesn't excuse it. And honestly, toward the end, the less I worried about offending her, and the less I engaged her need for drama, I could actually tolerate her much better, even if she did spend half her time mad at me.


Brittany (OP), once I calmed down enough to think I can only offer a few ideas... since actually knocking the plate down is, while tempting, probably not a viable option, just be ready next time an event comes up. Plan for something that fits into the day's plan. If they are not used to your new and improved eating habits by then and someone insists you eat more, smile and say, thanks, I will in a bit... then conveniently forget. If there truly isn't anything you can work into your calories, and there should be something, especially if you bring it, then take some and let it sit while you eat your lunch and then suddenly you're "too full". That is the kind of stuff if I did when I really was feeling pressured... worked, for the most part, except with PAB.

prattiger65

I find it interesting that you are willing to look down on them for their food choices (a perfect example would be how you describe the potluck to begin with) but feel very victimized that they were "looking down" on your choices.

I mean, what horrible people you work with, trying to make the new people feel welcomed and creating a social event that will encourage office morale. How terrible that they would want to be sure you were included.

Instead of sitting on your impossibly high pedestal, why didn't you make something *you* approve of and share it, and maybe educate those heathens on the benefits of clean eating?

But hey, I am sure working yourself up into a lathered rage burns way more calories than getting along with the folks at work.

Sorry, but I am not going to pat you on the back for this one.

Whoa hold on there sally sad face... I think this response was a bit over the line.

1. She didn't look down on anyone for their food choices. She DID however prefer to stick to her diet plan... social hour wasn't important to her as staying dedicated to her goals. Nothing wrong with that at all. Not a single word of her post included, "I told them how horrible their food was for me" or "It wasn't food skinny people eat"... She merely stated it was a all you can eat event she wasn't ready to partake in at this point in her plan. Might not have been great wording.. I'll agree to that.. but she has every right to chose what she will and won't eat.

2. She still attended the event to be social. To be disrespectful would have been to avoid the event entirely.

3. She did make something for herself.. that was what she got criticized for. Yet not many people jib the body builder for his/her protein shakes... but try sure do love to harass the girl trying to just lose unwanted weight.

4. She's not raging at all. Just trying to deal with how difficult this is for everyone who is just starting the process. It happens all the time, it's not new to her situation. People are naturally thrown off when others take interest in bettering their body, it makes them insecure about their own choices and they tend to lash out in response. It is what it is. You can penalize her all you want for it? But it's silly...

I like the way you talk..