What is the proper etiquette for children's sleepovers?

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  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    No way. I'd have to know the parents first. In that case I'd say you're not comfortable with a sleepover yet but would love a playdate.

    I have no problem leaving my 6yo kids at a friend's house for a couple hours, even if I don't know them well, but I don't think I'll even consider sleepovers until they're 8 or something, and I know the parents well.
  • lambchristie
    lambchristie Posts: 552 Member
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    I agree...must meet other parents (both mom and day) first.

    Perhaps invite at least her to coffee ... telling her you'd like to get to know her before agreeing to a sleep over (or even allowing your 7 year old son go off with her and her family for a day of 'whatever' they are doing).

    Then next time do a play date with the parents and the kids ... at a park or something where you can see the boys interact with one another and the adults involved.
  • jlynnm70
    jlynnm70 Posts: 460 Member
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    I have kids of various ages (currently 8-22) and all have been on sleepovers since probably kindergarten. However, I have always MET the parents first and sometimes the kids stayed at our place first.

    Kids do try to plan these things last minute - get used to - A slumber party - maybe you get a week or two notice - A Friday night sleepover/playdate thing - You're lucky to get a couple hours notice! Get used to it.

    There is no harm in meeting the parents first! I insist on it, even if it is only the day before. That isn't a big deal. Especially if you aren't even sure which kid this is. Usually I know who the kids are, because I've met them at school, scouts, sports, etc. or at least my child has said the name a million times talking about who they hang out with at recess!
  • LosinItAll2012
    LosinItAll2012 Posts: 238 Member
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    You know... you could just be honest and tell her that you would really like to know her better before you let your son spend the night her house.

    If she doesn't understand that, then the answer is automatically no.

    Absolutely This!! ^^^

    If she can't respect that you want to meet them first, then it's not somewhere I want my child spending the night.
  • HappyBlues
    HappyBlues Posts: 94 Member
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    At that age I honestly don't see any point to a sleep over. A play date for a couple of hours is more then adequate.

    My husband and I have already discussed this issue though it hasn't even come up yet, and we've decided we don't trust anyone enough to allow for a sleep over. A couple of family members, sure, but other then that... nope. (My kids are 2,4, & 6)

    As far as being shy about asking to meet first... this is your child. Anyone who wouldn't expect you to want to meet first is a bit wonky in my opinion.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    I'm a mean parent and my kids are not allowed to go to sleep overs. It has been a rule since day 1 and it is not something I am willing to budge on. The ONLY place they are allowed to sleep outside of the house without us is at my parent's house.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    My son has had sleepovers... often at Grandma & Grandpas or cousins, but a few times his "best friend." (Who no longer seems to be a best friend, but that's not the point.) I know that boy's parents very well, and we all do stuff together.

    At the end of the day, and after some research, I just am not comfortable with an overnight at this juncture and I'll let her know that. I'll see if I can take them both roller skating or to Monkey Joe's this weekend instead.

    As much as my son DOES want to do this, he couldn't even sleep over at the next door neighbors last week, and that's not even a "strange house" like this would be.

    We'll see if she's up for coordinating a play date and leave it at that for now.
  • monkeywizard
    monkeywizard Posts: 222 Member
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    Ask your son if he wants to go.. if he says yes.. take him over there and drop him off and check out the house.. Don't be some overprotective parent that thinks your kid is an angel...

    But he is. I've watched him *kitten* glitter.

    That just means he ate a bunch of glitter.. proof that he's not an angel! ;-)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Ask your son if he wants to go.. if he says yes.. take him over there and drop him off and check out the house.. Don't be some overprotective parent that thinks your kid is an angel...

    But he is. I've watched him *kitten* glitter.

    That just means he ate a bunch of glitter.. proof that he's not an angel! ;-)

    That totally explains the dog poop too... Damn.
  • monkeywizard
    monkeywizard Posts: 222 Member
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    My kids aren't yet to sleepover range, but as others have said..

    1) meet the parents, not just a meeting, but actually spend some time with them.
    2) See the place, make sure there are no outstanding dangers
    3) Talk to your kid. Make sure they have no reservations, and WANT to. Also let them know if at ANYTIME they are uncomfortable that they should call for you to pick them up.

    My oldest is almost 4, and has not really even wanted to invite someone over, or been invited over (aside from birthday parties and such), but when the time comes, I'll want to have known the parents for a while (been to a birthday or two.. seen the place, yadda yadda yadda).
  • monkeywizard
    monkeywizard Posts: 222 Member
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    But he is. I've watched him *kitten* glitter.

    That just means he ate a bunch of glitter.. proof that he's not an angel! ;-)

    That totally explains the dog poop too... Damn.
    lol yeah, the dog is no angel either.. All dogs go to heaven, but that's not where they come from.
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
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    ....
  • Jenifowles
    Jenifowles Posts: 1 Member
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    From one Mom, to another Mom, Don't let your child go!!!! You can never be to careful with your children. I have let my older son, age 9, have a sleep over with a friend. However I had gotten to know this particular family over about three years. We are all good family friends. I feel comfortable with them taking of my child. Back to your issue, you don't know this lady. Shouldn't you get to know the family, to know whether you both see eye to eye on parenting issues? The best peace of advice I can give you is trust you motherly instinct.

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