I need a new husband

245

Replies

  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)
    your pretty you will have no problem finding a new one

    :blushing:
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Keep up the hard work.
    You are doing fine.
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)

    But.... But.... Wifey WHYYYYY????? hahaha :flowerforyou:
  • christi_03
    christi_03 Posts: 56 Member
    It's okay, OP
    Next time he attempts to initiate sexy time, belittle his efforts :) Remind him that he's not quite equipped with the appropriate hardware to get the job done without glitches.


    OMG!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!
  • TheMrsCole
    TheMrsCole Posts: 114 Member
    I do believe this post made me LOL. Sign me up for a new one too!
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.
  • danyvaone
    danyvaone Posts: 53
    you need a new one ...cuz the old one seem to be off :smokin:
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    If you need a place to sit, we have a guy for that here


    LOL... I know I had seen his thread earlier!
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)

    But.... But.... Wifey WHYYYYY????? hahaha :flowerforyou:

    I said husband, not wife! My wife is perfect ;)
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    I do believe this post made me LOL. Sign me up for a new one too!

    Watch out for those 2 year contracts!
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements. I suppose I should have thrown my hat into the ring too just because you have a penis. :p
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha

    No joke there.....Zep fandom is a must! And boobs. And bacon. Anything else is irrelevant. :bigsmile:
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements.

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Have you heard of the mechanical boyfriend? I hear it doesn't talk back, never tells you no, and you can take batteries out at anytime.

    They generally lack good conversation ;)

    Sounds like you have the same problem with your current model.
  • BillRicks1
    BillRicks1 Posts: 473 Member
    kytte, You live pretty close and I travel through Cary on a regular basis. Maybe me and "the boys" should pay a visit to said husband and explain some of life's mysteries ! Then you can reuse, recycle or just upgrade to husband 2.0!
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Ad_HusbandTraining.jpg
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha

    No joke there.....Zep fandom is a must! And boobs. And bacon. Anything else is irrelevant. :bigsmile:

    gallery_99130_34859_17327142394c2eef175323c.jpeg
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    kytte, You live pretty close and I travel through Cary on a regular basis. Maybe me and "the boys" should pay a visit to said husband and explain some of life's mysteries ! Then you can reuse, recycle or just upgrade to husband 2.0!

    Believe me I'm perfectly capable of snapping him like a twig. It's not that I don't want to, it's that he doesn't have good life insurance.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements.

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
    Saw this on FB this morning.....

    http://themetapicture.com/wife-complains-about-husband-hilarity-ensues/
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Ad_HusbandTraining.jpg

    You can't fix this one.
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Saw this on FB this morning.....

    http://themetapicture.com/wife-complains-about-husband-hilarity-ensues/

    I was the tech support who wrote that based on experience.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.

    You're in it now. Leave me and I'll take everything.
  • siport
    siport Posts: 7,429 Member
    where do i apply?
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.

    You're in it now. Leave me and I'll take everything.

    If by 'everything', you're including the cats, I'm okay with that. :laugh:
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    where do i apply?

    ::lowers glasses:: Step into my office...

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