Have you ever been celibate?

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  • tycho_mx
    tycho_mx Posts: 426 Member
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    Isn't that what marriage is?

    That seems to be the running joke. But I don't get it. 4 kids and almost 10 years with my husband and we still can't keep our hands off of each other,

    Yeah, my husband and I have always had regular sex and we've been having sex with each other for 16 years. And there are always interesting new ways to enjoy it. And I had sex with other people before that as well, and glad I did because I'm glad I explored my sexuality before marriage. The best sex I have ever had has been with my husband, though. Sometimes we have sex nearly everyday and other times once a week, but usually a few times a week. Variation during busy times is normal, but it's always regular.

    I also want to say that my heart really goes out to the people that are dealing with illness and loss and other difficulties.

    I love my wife, find her incredibly attractive and it seems to be mutual. But the second kid we had put a serious hit on our free time and energy (plus, she had a difficult labour that required some medical attention). So six months, recently "broken".

    And that said, we never were more active than when we were trying to conceive our first child :) Marriage requires a lot of adaptability!
  • SuperC_85
    SuperC_85 Posts: 393
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    Yes, 2 years cause of religion. (no longer religious)
    Was actually 2 years of the best time of my life, had an absolute blast not giving a **** about relationships and boys :laugh:
  • bunnypanther
    bunnypanther Posts: 110
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    When I haven't been in relationships I've been celibate. I don't really do one nighters.

    Currently eagerly awaiting the return of my man, he lives 50 miles from me so I only get him at weekends :(

    I am thankful for my BOB ;-)
  • Amwhite1986
    Amwhite1986 Posts: 194 Member
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    I'm at 7 years.

    I'm one of those strange people that requires an emotional attachment and relationship to have sex. No matter how hot someone is, unless I care about them the thought of sleeping with them is actually a turn-off.

    Dear Lord I need a relationship soon. = . =
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
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    YES!!!

    I was celibate in 2000 for a year...then from 2001-2004, then 2004-2011.

    It was mostly by choice...except for the year 2000.

    Right now..have been celibate for 5 months. Not exactly by choice..I could go out and get some..but I'm not about increasing numbers...prefer to be in some type of relationship.
  • arainiday1
    arainiday1 Posts: 1,763 Member
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    yes but never by choice..... :grumble:
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
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    I'm at 7 years.

    I'm one of those strange people that requires an emotional attachment and relationship to have sex. No matter how hot someone is, unless I care about them the thought of sleeping with them is actually a turn-off.

    Dear Lord I need a relationship soon. = . =

    SAME about the emotional attachment. I've always been jealous of friends who could just go out & expect to be getting laid at the end of the night, because they knew they would meet someone & take them home. I'm just not capable of doing that, unfortunately. Flirting is hard. Dating is hard. It's all hard. I need a class or something.
  • icame2win60
    icame2win60 Posts: 75
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    Haven't been in a relationship yet. Kinda why I want to lose weight.

    Aww, you're cute! I'm sure it will happen. :)
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
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    The last year and a half of my relationship with my daughters father and then about 3 years after that. I could not stand the thought of him touching me and then I was so miserable on the weekends that she was with him that I was definitely undatable... I wasted most of my twenties this way... We won't talk about how I've wasted my thirties...
  • Mauthos
    Mauthos Posts: 128 Member
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    2.5 years so far :frown: But not through choice, birth of daughter killed it for my ex and then she decided she wanted out of the relationship, a long drawn out separation including issues with access to my daughter has made me not want any form of relationship, sexual or otherwise. Starting to feel more human again now, so maybe I will try the dating scene again soon, but not in any rush. :indifferent:
  • DoNotSpamMe73
    DoNotSpamMe73 Posts: 286 Member
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    Was dating someone who just wasn't right for me. As in all those negative things minus physical abuse. It was also a way to push his advances away.
    I live with my partner of 3 years now and am very happy and not celibate.
  • DoNotSpamMe73
    DoNotSpamMe73 Posts: 286 Member
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    I'm at 7 years.

    I'm one of those strange people that requires an emotional attachment and relationship to have sex. No matter how hot someone is, unless I care about them the thought of sleeping with them is actually a turn-off.

    Dear Lord I need a relationship soon. = . =

    I don't find that odd at all. Sure someone might be attractive or not but needing a relationship and emotional attachment is normal, should be necessary in my opinion. Well I've always needed to be emotionally attached.
  • avemaryama
    avemaryama Posts: 277 Member
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    Yes, until I was 21 by choice. And since my divorce I've been celibate again, it's been 4 years-ish.

    Mostly it's because I enjoy long term committed relationships and I don't get into them easily.
  • HunterKiller_deleted
    HunterKiller_deleted Posts: 458
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    Sorry but this word is not in my dictionary.
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,160 Member
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    I went a year ...

    I was in a "friend's with benefits", first time ever! I fell for the guy hard, he wasn't interested in a relationship with me. So I moved away to try and start over. The idea of another man's hands on my body disgusted me so I didn't date or have sex.

    He came looking for me a year later, asked me out and we have been together ever since (4 years, no celibacy periods) lol.

    Nice!
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    I've never had to deal with it since I met my husband when we were both 16 and now on our way to 50 in a couple of years. If I lost him I probably would be celibate unless I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Not sure I could do a one night stand kind of thing.
  • TheLadyBane
    TheLadyBane Posts: 299 Member
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    I was celibate for about 5 years, not by choice. I was in a long term relationship and my partner has been losing interest in sex for the past few years, then his interest in sex disappeared completely. I stuck around thinking it was a temporary issue with a solution but it wasn't.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Am I the only person who is shaking their head at the 8 pages of people who misunderstand the difference between abstinence and celibacy?

    abstinence= no sex with other people
    celibacy (as in being celibate)= no sex, no kissing, no *kitten*, no sexual stimulation of any kind.

    I was celibate until I was 12 and discovered the wonders of my own body.
    I was abstinent until 27.

    I felt I should clarify that my above statements are based on the colloquial usages of the terms. Technically, both terms refer to living without "self-indulgence" whether with another person or not, with celibacy being a vocational commitment and abstinence being a personal one. However, celibacy in modern-day language is a term almost exclusively attributed to the clergy, and is intended to mean sexual purity. I suppose they would both also be choices so you can't be "celibate, not by choice"...
  • ArchangelMJ
    ArchangelMJ Posts: 308 Member
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    Well, I'm 23 and I haven't "done it", but I'm also asexual so there's that...

    Even if I wasn't asexual, I still couldn't imagine having sex with someone without being in a committed relationship and being, ya know, in love.
  • RichRector
    RichRector Posts: 2
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    I have been off and on throughout my life. I think that, at least for me, I would get sick of being in a relationship where my healthy/normal advances were rejected, so I decided to just wait until the person I was with started something. At first that is difficult, but before long it's easier to not even try than to get rejected. And then after my daughter was born, infrequent turned into 'not even on my birthday'.

    I believe that when a relationship is working, people are having sex and being intimate with each other and the sex issues between them rank about a 2 on the scale of 1-10 of importance. i.e. not very important. But if they aren't having sex then it's about a 9/10 of importance.

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