Terrible Dates

xoeva

I had a pretty bad one a couple weeks ago.....

We went out bowling. I met him there, and when he walked in, he wouldn't hardly even look at me. We had to wait about 15 minutes for a lane, so we went to the bar to have a beer. He was pretty quiet and seemed shy, which I could work with, but it only went downhill.
We bowled and there was no conversation for almost 2 hours. He would high 5 me if I got a strike or we would make jokes if we were horrible, but nothing any deeper than that. After the games were done, he suggested we go have another drink and talk. At this point I had already had 2 beers and being a light weight didn't want to drive home drunk. I told him I would have one more. He then orders a shot along with the beer. Ok....whatever....I took it and told him no more.
We then get to talking and he tells me how women shouldn't lift heavy weights because it makes them bulky. Then he made fun of me for lifting anything more than 10lbs because "women are a weak species". Then he says that I should use the cable machines because they are better for me, and that if he had the choice of sleeping with a "cut chick" or a "fat chick" he would chose the "fat chick" I said "So what you're saying is, you're not getting laid tonight?"
He quickly changes the subject and somehow brings up homosexuality. He knows that my sons dad is not present at all in his life. He has a son the same age as mine and says "That's why little boys need their dads in their lives, to teach them how not to be gay" I has floored! I said "My son is going to grow up and be who he is going to be and I will love him regardless". Then he says "Well I want my son to have a family" to which I responded "Well, I want my son to not be ignorant"
That pretty much ended the date. Then he had the balls to text me when he got home and tell me he had a good time and that we should go out again. :noway:

OMG ...it was so bad you think maybe there was a hidden camera? Wow...

xoeva

After two IM chats, he INSISTS on meeting. We agree to meet in two hours at a place fifteen minutes drive away for both of us. This guy walks in with Bozo the Clown hair, dirty cargo pants, ratty flip-flops, and a t-shirt that does NOT cover his very large belly. After fifteen minutes of no conversation (despite my best efforts), Bozo asks me to confirm my age. It's just a number, so I confirm that I am indeed 44. He is 52 so not such a big difference, right?

Now, I don't mind older, chubby, broke, shy, or awkward. But *kitten* is a problem...this *kitten* looked at me and said, "You are a little old for me. I am really looking for someone in her 20's."

I picked up my purse and told him, "I don't think this is going to work out." :noway: Could not get out of there fast enough!

Thanks for all the great stories - you guys make me feel better about the drama of the dating scene...

YIKES.... I though mine were bad... but this is one horrible...too bad no one was filming it so you could post it!!!!

heylookitsval

Met a dude on Match.com recently and went to dinner/drinks...he was on his phone checking match.com most of the time in between his boring *kitten* stories about what him and his friends do for fun. I cut it short and got the hell out of there without saying goodbye.

xoeva

I've had a few pretty bad ones over the years...but one I can think of is , online dating, we finally met for coffee and I ordered a coffee and he ordered juice (it was morning time) and I hadn't even sipped my coffee when he asked 'When you are pregnant I hope you don't plan on drinking coffee...it's very bad for the baby, you know?" WHAAAAAT? I realized he was looking for a baby machine... so I heard him go blah blah blah and Then when I finished my coffee I said 'Good luck..bye'.
Well, I could write a whole bunch of others... but some of the ones I've read here are absolutely terrible...mine were just a bit bad.

heylookitsval

I went on a date a couple weeks ago now. He asked if he could pick me up, because he felt that was appropriate. I agreed to it because I thought it seemed like a nice gesture. He pulls into my drive, doesn't leave the car, and my phone goes off. It's a text. I open the text and it reads "I'm here turd"........

this was a first date, and he not only doesn't come to the door, but he refers to me as turd?

It was pretty much over before it started.

However, at the end he went in for a kiss, totally unexpected as I was putting on medicated lip balm at the time, while in mid conversation. He just "went for it" and it was comparable to what you would think kissing a cats *kitten* would be like. He was so tight lipped and puckered. He had on the stereotypical 12 year old girl, over exaggerated kissy/pucker face......and went for it.......like that.

I never went out with him again.

I lol'd WAY too much at "I'm here turd"

WW_Jude_V2

Now, I don't mind older, chubby, broke, shy, or awkward. But *kitten* is a problem...

This is my favorite comment in the entire thread! Haha!

brayman1701

One of worst dates I had we met through e-harmony and we were getting on really well online. After a couple of weeks we agreed to meet up so we met up and went to a pub. She spent the whole date staring at the TV behind me because she wanted to watch Britains got talent or one of those shows, the whole thing came off like a job interview. Afterwards we were both at the train station on opposite platforms and she wouldn't even look at me. I never heard from her again.

MissAnjy

As depressing as this is, I love it.

So here's another one of my doozies.

I met a guy on FB who added me randomly. We started talking for awhile and I saw that we had a lot of mutual friends. I agreed to go out one night to the movies with him. He picks me up and we drive an hour away to another city to watch the movie because the one he wants to see isn't playing where we live. He takes me to a horror film, knowing full well i'm terrified of scary movies, just to get me to cuddle. So we arrive and we're walking in when all of a sudden he says "oh wait, I have to go back, I think I left the door unlocked and there's a laptop in the car"....okay fine, no problem. So he comes back and all of a sudden I notice that he reiks of alcohol? I brush it off like maybe it's some strange cologne, or i'm smelling something. So we go in, and I use my scene points card to get us free movies......because i'm a cheap date like that and I might as well use them up. Well he starts screaming excitedly "omg you're the best, you're so sweet" and proceeds to yell "give me a hug" while not waiting for an answer and instead just wrapping his arms tightly around my neck and hugging me for a solid 2 minutes in the middle of the line of movie goers. It was awkard to say the very least, for myself, and probably for everyone around us. So he finally lets me out of his death grip and he says he's got to make a pit stop to the bathroom. I go in and get us seats. He comes back and he REIKS of alcohol again. I look at him and I'm like "did you just DRINK in the bathroom? do you have a flask somewhere?" he looks at me and he's like "no it's those idiots infront of us that are clearly drunk and smellig like booze". I let it go thinking maybe I was imagining things and/or it WAS someone else......until he starts loudly insulting everyone around us, at which point I realized he was definitely on the sauce. He starts mocking and insulting everyone around us calling them losers and making racist comments. Thankfully the movie came on and the loudness of that overpowered him, before we got our *kitten* handed to us.

So we're watching the movie and guy immediately grabs my hand. Now, I just met you about an hour ago, and we're already doing the hand holding in a movie? I thought it was a bit much but he was drunk and unruly so I left it alone for a few minutes and then pretended after about 5 that i was scared and needed both hands to cover my face. He kept trying to grab for me but I kept making it "obvious" that my hands were needed to shield my eyes. My body language couldn't have told him more GET THE HELL AWAY. So, the movie ends (darn!) and he asks if I want to go out to dinner. I'm like sure why not? I'm already an hour away from home, might as well get a drink in ME by this point. So we go and sit down in this family restaurant, kids all around us with their families and this guy starts going off about what a drug addicted *kitten* his ex fiance is (mother of his kids) and how she's ripping him through the mud, alienating him from the kids etc. He's in a rage by this point and I'm getting nervous. I go to the bathroom and come back to him still mouthing off about her (it's been about 45 minutes at this point) and all I keep hearing is *kitten*, *****, c*nt. I don't even think he's making sentences anymore, he's just throwing out the words. So out of nowhere he slides out of the side of the booth he's in and slides in next to me and sticks his face in my neck and sniffs really hard......then yells wow you smell amazing & proceeds to start to suck my neck at which point I shoved him off and he went back to his side.......and back to yelling about the revenge he's going to get on his ex. We finally leave and go back home & he asks if I want to get a drink at "his place". He doesn't even let me answer before driving me there. So I have a few free drinks and you can tell he's trying to get me hammered, which he ended up succeeding at. He goes in for the kill and tries to get it on with me a few hours in to our music video watching drinking session and at that point i'm like......yeah, take me home, not happening.

Come to find out after all this.........the reason we have so many mutual friends is because......he's dating a friend of mine, and has been for a year and a half. The car he was driving? borrowed from a friend. He also doesn't have a valid license, from 3 prior DUIs.The "house" we were at.....his friends house (friend was out of town). The job he said he had? he'd been out of work for awhile. The kids he said he was alienated from? He had abandoned them a year earlier, by choice. He claimed to drink on occasion. He is an avid alcoholic who drinks to black out......every single night. He claimed that he didn't smoke and found it disgusting........he is a 2 pack a day smoker.

His excuse for all this? No disrespect Ang, yes I have a girlfriend.......but I was trying to trade up from her with you. You're an upgrade.

Move along idiot..........good Lord.

sillygoosie

I've only had 2 really bad dates. The first one involved me getting roofied by a school teacher before a concert. Luckily, it was still daylight and there were thousands of people around but I spent the night in the ER and had to pay for a taxi to take me home at 5am. He denied it was him but he provided the only cocktail I had that evening. Obviously, I never spoke to him again.

The second one wasn't even a first date. I had been seeing this guy for about a month. We both shared a love of live music and he was pretty cool. I had a few hangups about him and I had noticed that he could really pound the drinks so I was still kind of on the fence. I love my cocktails but I don't set out to get **** faced every time. He wanted to take me to see Perpetual Groove and although I don't dig jam bands, I was up for it. We stopped at a bar and hung out with his buddy, who was the sound guy for PGroove and we were having a good time. I had 2 drinks and called it good so I could nurse one more at the show and drive home. This is where he tells me that he's low on cash and would I mind buying the drinks for the night. No problem, he's taken me out a few times before and paid for everything. So we get to the show and I'm having a good time. We have great seats at the sound board and the music is much better than I expected. Then he starts POUNDING vodka tonics on my dime. Even after I quit drinking he still keeps chugging away. Then he lets his long hair out of the ponytail and starts whipping it around and dancing like some crazy hippie. I'm annoyed but trying to ignore him and just enjoy the music. He keeps asking me repeatedly if I'm okay and having fun. Like every 2 minutes. By this time I'm not okay because he is annoying the **** out of me and ruining the show. Still chugging drinks on my tab while I sip water. Finally he asks me if I'm okay again and if I want to leave. Why yes, *kitten*, now I do want to leave because you've ruined my time. We get to the car and it's a snowstorm. He gets out to clean my windshield and can't even manage to make contact with the scraper. Then he offers to drive. Sure ****head, please drive us home since you've had like 10 drinks in the past hour. I get us safely back to his house and all I want to do is go to sleep (had planned to stay there since it was quite a way from my place) but he wants to make food and stay up and drink. Nope, I'm going to bed. I can't sleep because I'm sober and I have this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach. He comes to bed and starts wanting to talk to me. I swear he was trying to work up the nerve to tell me he loved me. I knew it was coming so quite suddenly I jump out of bed and tell him I have to go home and sleep. As I'm getting dressed he's saying over and over "I blew, I blew it". Yep, you blew it. I "broke up" with him over text the next day.

MissAnjy

Then he lets his long hair out of the ponytail and starts whipping it around and dancing like some crazy hippie.

OMG hahahahaha. I loved this sentence.

skippygirlsmom

On the flip side, my brother went on a first date that he got wicked drunk at and passed out then woke up and threw up in his truck and on her. She finally got his address to take him home and while she was in his apt waiting for her ride he told he she could fold his laundry since it was clean and she had nothing better to do. Well 6 years later the got married, go figure!

Anyone who would put up with that on a first date is truly a keeper LOL

Monsterliana

Oh lord where to begin? Alright so this one time I met this dude online and we talked for a few weeks before we met. Well he was a soldier and had his truck "in the shop" so if I wanted to do anything I had to go get him. It's a pain in the *kitten* what you have to go through to get on the base if you aren't military but hey I thought he could be worth it. So I go pick this guy up. Plan was to go have dinner and then go to a mutual friends party. So he wants to go to Applebee's (eye roll) so ok whatever. We go, he orders a few drinks. I ordered chicken Alfredo and he looks at me like I just drop kicked a baby. When the waitress walks away he starts grilling me on "how many carbs are in that". Flag numero uno. Then he orders another couple drinks. Ends up spilling an entire jack and coke on my lap. He apologized so many times and took me to get something else to wear to the party. Stupidly I still went with him and to sum it all up basically he ended up so drunk he passed out in the men's bathroom at a pilot station. I had to leave him there and drive his stupid friend home and come back to get him. When i got back in there the manager said they had called the cops and I had to get him out asap. I had to go into the men's Frickin bathroom and drag this mother out to my car lmao. I don't know why I didn't just leave him there. Then I had to pull over 3 times during the 15 minutes drive home for him to vomit. It's funny now imagining how stupid I must have looked literally dragging this drunk *kitten* out of the bathroom. He didn't stand up until we were halfway through the store. Oh and he vomited in the plant right by the entrance. Lesson leanred. Never played taxi for him or anyone else again!

sillygoosie

So he wants to go to Applebee's (eye roll) so ok whatever.

Every great date begins at Applebee's.

seltzermint555

I've had a few pretty bad ones over the years...but one I can think of is , online dating, we finally met for coffee and I ordered a coffee and he ordered juice (it was morning time) and I hadn't even sipped my coffee when he asked 'When you are pregnant I hope you don't plan on drinking coffee...it's very bad for the baby, you know?" WHAAAAAT? I realized he was looking for a baby machine... so I heard him go blah blah blah and Then when I finished my coffee I said 'Good luck..bye'.
Well, I could write a whole bunch of others... but some of the ones I've read here are absolutely terrible...mine were just a bit bad.

UGH! That baby machine stuff would be the biggest turnoff. What a weirdo!

For some reason when you mentioned him ordering juice, it reminded me of a time when I probably seemed like a loser date haha I went for coffee with this guy I met online, and it was like 95 degrees outside so I wanted something cold. He ordered espresso and I ordered something frozen & flavored, and I saw him visibly cringe when the barista called that out "Children's Funky Monkey Frozen Mocha for Angela!?"...I was 35 years old...hehe

gmthisfeller

They had to have the goth style, guyliner, etc. But they were usually freaks...I am not saying all guys with that style are freaks...but it was quite entertaining!

Go ahead, and say it: All guys with that style are freaks!

Monsterliana

I went on a date a couple weeks ago now. He asked if he could pick me up, because he felt that was appropriate. I agreed to it because I thought it seemed like a nice gesture. He pulls into my drive, doesn't leave the car, and my phone goes off. It's a text. I open the text and it reads "I'm here turd"........

this was a first date, and he not only doesn't come to the door, but he refers to me as turd?

It was pretty much over before it started.

However, at the end he went in for a kiss, totally unexpected as I was putting on medicated lip balm at the time, while in mid conversation. He just "went for it" and it was comparable to what you would think kissing a cats *kitten* would be like. He was so tight lipped and puckered. He had on the stereotypical 12 year old girl, over exaggerated kissy/pucker face......and went for it.......like that.

I never went out with him again.

I lol'd WAY too much at "I'm here turd"

me too. Just about died when I read this. Lmao

Monsterliana

So he wants to go to Applebee's (eye roll) so ok whatever.

Every great date begins at Applebee's.

apparently! Haha!

gmthisfeller

Back before the 'Net days....she arrived at the restaurant with her 5 year-old daughter.

nmncare

This is long but I promise it's a good one.

Don't judge me because this was a long time ago and it SCREAMS high school. Bad dates and douche bags are pretty much the story of my life.. But I have had some great dates too! But one of the worst is still my Junior Prom.

I went with my friends ex (mistake number 1.. even though she said it was okay and insisted I go with him).

So I get all pretty. Junior Prom was the biggest dance in high school where I lived. Limos, ball gowns, insane over the top steak dinners.. the whole nine. The last thing my mom says to me as I am walking out the door is.. "Are you sure you don't want to wear a bra?". Great.
We get in his car (one of the only non limos at the dance.. but I'm not fussy so I didn't mind). He says "You look gorgeous." and I say "Awe thank you!". And he then says.. "But your dress would look better on the floor." Umm.. Excuse me?
We get to dinner. We end up going to this run down hole in the wall vegan pizza parlor. Neither of us are vegan. But I trust the hole's in the wall because you find some real gems. Well.. this was not one of them. One of the WORST meals I have ever had in my life. Not to mention we were extremely overdressed. Once the bill comes.. he says.. "By the way.. you're paying." Back then I was too nice to disagree. So I did. (I'm an idiot. I know). We get to the dance and I have to pay for myself to get in. Okay.. that's fine. So jokingly.. and seriously.. I said "Fine. Since I paid for dinner and my ticket.. you are paying for pictures." He said.. "No I'm not. If you want pictures.. you're paying." Well.. I did want pictures! I wanted a group picture with my closest friends all dressed up. Plus.. Junior Prom was a BIG DEAL. So I paid for group photos. The rest of the night was him rubbing himself all over me.. would not leave me alone.. and basically doing everything he could to get in my pants. It was terrible. Then he locked his keys in his car so we couldn't get home. I tried asking my friends via text if we could hitch a ride in a limo and we would pay, but none of them checked their phone's in time before they left. He ended up calling one of his buddies downtown where we were and had him drive us home. He kept saying "We are in a backseat. This is perfect. You know what happens back here?" Literally would not stop trying to get lucky. Seriously?? He asked me to sing him a song since I am a singer. I sang him you and your hand by pink hoping he would take a hint. Nope. We round the corner to my house and he stops at this hill at the end of my street with a gorgeous view. He gets out of the car and asks his friend to wait there. He pushes me down on the hill. Literally shoves his tongue down my throat and tells me he really likes me. Just then.. as I am trying to get away from this creep.. his tongue hits my uvula.. and I threw up. He was such a bad kisser.. I literally threw up. I then said some strong words and ran home.

Edited for typos.

MissAnjy

This is long but I promise it's a good one.

Don't judge me because this was a long time ago and it SCREAMS high school. Bad dates and douche bags are pretty much the story of my life.. But I have had some great dates too! But one of the worst is still my Junior Prom.

I went with my friends ex (mistake number 1.. even though she said it was okay and insisted I go with him).

So I get all pretty. Junior Prom was the biggest dance in high school where I lived. Limos, ball gowns, insane over the top steak dinners.. the whole nine. The last thing my mom says to me as I am walking out the door is.. "Are you sure you don't want to wear a bra?". Great.
We get in his car (one of the only non limos at the dance.. but I'm not fussy so I didn't mind). He says "You look gorgeous." and I say "Awe thank you!". And he then says.. "But your dress would look better on the floor." Umm.. Excuse me?
We get to dinner. We end up going to this run down hole in the wall vegan pizza parlor. Neither of us are vegan. But I trust the hole's in the wall because you find some real gems. Well.. this was not one of them. One of the WORST meals I have ever had in my life. Not to mention we were extremely overdressed. Once the bill comes.. he says.. "By the way.. you're paying." Back then I was too nice to disagree. So I did. (I'm an idiot. I know). We get to the dance and I have to pay for myself to get in. Okay.. that's fine. So jokingly.. and seriously.. I said "Fine. Since I paid for dinner and my ticket.. you are paying for pictures." He said.. "No I'm not. If you want pictures.. you're paying." Well.. I did want pictures! I wanted a group picture with my closest friends all dressed up. Plus.. Junior Prom was a BIG DEAL. So I paid for group photos. The rest of the night was him rubbing himself all over me.. would not leave me alone.. and basically doing everything he could to get in my pants. It was terrible. Then he locked his keys in his car so we couldn't get home. I tried asking my friends via text if we could hitch a ride in a limo and we would pay, but none of them checked their phone's in time before they left. He ended up calling one of his buddies downtown where we were and had him drive us home. He kept saying "We are in a backseat. This is perfect. You know what happens back here?" Literally would not stop trying to get lucky. Seriously?? He asked me to sing him a song since I am a singer. I sang him you and your hand by pink hoping he would take a hint. Nope. We round the corner to my house and he stops at this hill at the end of my street with a gorgeous view. He gets out of the car and asks his friend to wait there. He pushes me down on the hill. Literally shoves his tongue down my throat and tells me he really likes me. Just then.. as I am trying to get away from this creep.. his tongue hits my uvula.. and I threw up. He was such a bad kisser.. I literally threw up. I then said some strong words and ran home.

Edited for typos.

OMG hahahahahahaha literally crying at multiple parts of this story. You and your hand LMAO & then hitting your uvula LMAO. Oh god. Best story ever, hahahahahahahaha.

Are you married/dating now? Or are you still stuck on the loser train? I fear I will never get off this train.