Why still nothing? Help me!

nomeejerome

OP:
You have to make the decision to take action versus asking the same question every month in the forum and expecting different answers. You have received the information you need (in this thread and the one from last month) and now it is up to you to action. If you truly want to do this the healthy way, once again… read this link and all of the links in it:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?page=1#posts-16625920

If you feel you are not ready to take those steps, it may be a good idea to seek a professional that can help you work through any other issues you may be facing on a day to day basis. If you are seriously considering going back to any pro-ana sites, nobody is going to be able to help you on the MFP forums.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support

diannethegeek

No, of course not. But I am so far from that, the thought doesn't even deter me! Right now all I am is fat and unhappy.

Here's the honest to God truth- in junior high I wanted to lose weight so I took laxatives and ended up dehydrated and passing out in choir. As a teenager I tried to eat less and better but nothing worked so I joined a pro-ana site. With their advice (horrible, awful, yes) I lost all the weight. Fast forward 9 years and I have had kids and gained it back. I have tried and am still trying to do it the right way but it isn't working! This is like my last attempt of doing it the right way. It's in the back of my mind that I have a plan B that I already know works and I am trying to get help before I resort to the pro-ana sites again. I am extremely picky and won't eat 80% of the things people suggest I eat to lose weight so I just started eating less of what I do like and I can't figure out why that's not working. If I ate 200 calories a day I know I would lose because I've done it before. But I'd rather figure out how to do it with more.
That's about as honest as I can be.

A history of disordered eating changes things. Professional advice might be a good idea. Either a doctor, registered dietitian, or counselor of some kind. Preferably one with experience working with disordered eating.

You say that this is your last attempt to do this the healthy way but you've already slipped into unhealthy territory. If you cannot see that after 4 pages of posts then I'm not sure what any of us could say to help you. Speak to a professional and get personalized advice for your situation.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support

TavistockToad

No, of course not. But I am so far from that, the thought doesn't even deter me! Right now all I am is fat and unhappy.

Here's the honest to God truth- in junior high I wanted to lose weight so I took laxatives and ended up dehydrated and passing out in choir. As a teenager I tried to eat less and better but nothing worked so I joined a pro-ana site. With their advice (horrible, awful, yes) I lost all the weight. Fast forward 9 years and I have had kids and gained it back. I have tried and am still trying to do it the right way but it isn't working! This is like my last attempt of doing it the right way. It's in the back of my mind that I have a plan B that I already know works and I am trying to get help before I resort to the pro-ana sites again. I am extremely picky and won't eat 80% of the things people suggest I eat to lose weight so I just started eating less of what I do like and I can't figure out why that's not working. If I ate 200 calories a day I know I would lose because I've done it before. But I'd rather figure out how to do it with more.
That's about as honest as I can be.

You should speak to a doctor...

thecastlefords

It amazes me how on a website where we ought to be able to assume that the people who have joined would be very sympathetic and empathetic to each other, there are still a lot of quick, knee-jerk criticisms and reactions flying around.

You are all right, to an extent, with the dangers of extremely low-calorie diets, but can't we all take a step back and look at the bigger picture here: chances are, ALL of us have, at some point (or maybe many points), felt that desperation where "nothing works" and have been willing to try anything, *anything*, to shift the weight. What we needed at that point was not a snap judgement - many of us probably knew that what we were doing wasn't "healthy" - but understanding. Because let's face it, there's probably been at least one point for most of us where, if someone had offered us the option of being skinny + unhealthy or fat + healthy, we would have chosen skinny without a second glance.

I'm not saying this to be condemnatory; probably most if not all of the people who reacted so quickly to point out how "foolish" amieosia was being probably did it because they've taken the hard path of finding it out for themselves, learnt from their mistakes, and have the natural, quick reaction we all have to "evangelise" the next person and spare them some pain. But please, take a minute to think about how you might feel if you read some of the responses - in light of how you feel about yourself and your weight.

Amieosia, they are, however, right. Eventually, being on a microscopically low calorie diet *will* shift the weight; but at great, great expense to your body - which may mean a lot more than weight gain in the future. The key is when you said that these low diets are what are prescribed for obese people, and you've just adjusted it for yourself a little: therein lies the problem. The "adjustment". These ultra-low calorie diets are no walk in the part and chances are, for someone who is obese, they consists in the almost complete absence of many of the foods that that person wants. For instance, persons who have undergone gastric bypass surgery, for months and maybe even years after the surgery, are often made/told to avoid all fast food or fried foods. Period. It's not just that they're on a low-calorie diet, but that the 500 or 800 calories can be made up of any old thing - unfortunately, they can't.

I totally sympathise (as I'm sure many people here do) with your feeling that you just can't stand the taste of some of the foods that people recommend to you. Unfortunately - again; substitution just doesn't work. The key is, we have to help you find a way to enjoy those foods - or others like them; and by those foods I mean things like fruits, legumes, and vegetables.

The problem isn't just empty calories, it's the chemical reaction that some of those foods cause in our bodies. Meat and dairy have been proven again and again to provoke a very high response in inflammatory markers, which means what it says - there is inflammation in the body (I can give the super-science explanation of it all here, but I'm giving the tl;dr version for now!). The reaction of this? High levels of cortisol, which promote the formation of abdominal fat (as well as fat in general), which in turn promotes the production of more cortisol...and the inflammation (and lots of other chemical reactions) keeps on feeding the same vicious cycle. The same is true of refined foods and refined sugars, such as one would find in your average muffin, for instance.

Additionally, for healthy gastro-intenstinal function, a diet high in fibre is essential - and healthy GI function is intrinsically, deeply twined with the body's metabolic function and ability to lose weight. There are hormones and chemicals secreted by your intestinal tract which influence metabolic function, which are in turn not secreted - or are suppressed, at any rate - when not stimulated by the right foods and fibres (and/or by the wrong ones).

The bottom line of this is that 100% intrinsically linked the a lowering of calorie intake is the KIND of calories you're taking in. You have to start adding fresh fruits, fresh veggies, cooked veggies, cooked legumes; and getting rid of muffins, coffees, milks, sugars, etc etc.

Channel your desperation which is making you drop your daily calorie goals into an eradication of empty, fat-promoting foods and find ways to enjoy unprocessed, healthy ones - I promise you, it IS doable, and there is no question you could find lots of advice, recipes, and suggestions here on easy recipes, tricks, and even treats. It is NOT bland and I guarantee that there will be something you can enjoy -and then just slowly expand on that.

Even an 1000 calorie a day diet which consists of vegetables, legumes, fruits and unprocessed grains will be infinitely more satisfying than the diet your journal currently shows you eating: it will fill you up, make you feel satiated, and the weight WILL start to come off. The fact that you are having to snack on pickles - regardless of their sodium or calorie intake - indicates that your body is craving more food than it is getting, and really, you need more. The less-than-1000 calorie line is true mathematically, but as other posters have said, math is only part of the picture. Your body's *basic* caloric needs includes an amount of food which will give it enough minerals and - broken down - chemicals to literally make your body function. After one (incidentally, medically-supervised) fast, my potassium levels plummeted and believe me, you don't want to feel that - potassium keeps your heart beating. It was frightening, apart from everything else. So we're not just trying to placate you or feed you the party line by saying you "need" more calories. 1200 is enough to keep your organs and body functioning, and *nothing* more than that; it's certainly not enough to give your body extra energy to put weight on with.

As other posters said - that 200 makes a difference, for the above reason.

I believe that you have the self-will and the strength to, quite possibly, stick to that low figure; that honestly isn't the issue. Yes, there are definitely concerns with "adherence" too, to a diet that low - as in, how possible it really is to sustain it; but as every anorexic knows, (and I do *not* mean that in an insulting way, in case anybody misinterprets it) -- it is *definitely* possible to starve, and have the feeling of starving, for a long time without giving in. So as big of a danger as that is, it's not the best reason, alone, to not go that low.

After all, sticking to a diet is hard, period!

There are bigger reasons. The long-term effects on your body AND the long-term chance of you losing weight. It would be entirely possible for you to lose a certain amount of weight and then, as a consequence of the extremely negative calorie intake, become too ill to continue. That's the last thing you want, as unbelievable as it might seem - and it's only one scenario.

Go back up to 1200 calories. Believe the thousands of people on here that that is an absolutely doable, "safe" low number - as other posters have said, there are people losing weight on higher daily calorie allowances - a negative intake is a negative intake, no matter by how much or how little. Concentrate not on the speed, but on the changes - they will start to gather momentum. Start adding in fruit, start adding in salads, and start weaning yourself off the unhealthy food choices. THAT is a hard battle, but you'll find the support for it here. Keep up the exercise - daily, as little as it is, you're developing the habit.

You've got the right reasons to do it; you've got your children, your boyfriend, and yourself. You can definitely do this! Just trust the science of the right way to do it.

You're not a failure for eating more than 1000 calories; it is *not* a reflection on your "inability" or "failure" if you go above 1000 calories. It means you're showing the strength to rise above the feelings of desperation and fear - and they are NOTHING to be sneezed at. You can conquer.

FireOpalCO

I don't think it's low to bring your kids into it (as one of the people who mentioned them). Kids incorporate what they see as children into their own adult lifestyle. What they think of as normal is based on what they see you doing. I don't think anyone believes you are a bad or uncaring parent. But if your kids see you starving yourself to lose weight, they will grow up thinking that's how they should conquer any weight issues they have as adults, with drastic measures. Honestly if you adjust your food intake to be more balanced and healthy, there is no reason they shouldn't eat the exact same foods as you and learn a healthy balanced diet from childhood. YOU could also be having omelettes with some substitutions and portion adjustments.

I'm agreeing with the recent statements that you could benefit from working with a professional.

wilsoje74

That's kinda low, bringing my kids into it. Again, I work 2 jobs so sometimes I am just making them dinner and serving it and leaving. They are woken up every morning with omelets or french toast and fruit and juice. You can't call my parenting into question when you don't know what kind of parent I am. Please don't do it again.

I didn't say anything about your parenting, it was meant that you are their example. If you have a daughter do you want her restricting her calories to an unhealthy level? Don't your kids need a healthy mother with energy to keep up with them and be fit? I didn't realize you had a history of eating disorders. Saying you are trying to do it healthy this time is wrong when all you eat is a cupcake and expect to have energy for your day. I suggest you see a doctor and an eating disorder specialist.

amieosia

Thank you to the last few posters for the kind and understanding words. I know you are right, its just hard to hear. It looks like I have to do some searching for other foods to try. It is very hard to diet when youre as picky as I am!

Psychgrrl

Girl, for the sake of your health and for being there for your kids, you've really got to try. If you're 5'2 and 180, you are at an unhealthy weight and it's awesome that you've taken the step to recognize that and do something about it. But starvation diets (pro-ana) are not sustainable. We both know that--so please don't start down that road for the quick fix. By being here, you're on the right track for long term health.

I was where you are. At 5'3, I was 195 after my thyroid went all wacky bo-bo. Down to 137 the last time I weighed myself--will be a little less on Friday. I haven't been this weight in 8 years. It's taken time, effort and tears, but I'm working at it and I never gave up. Even when I wanted to. Even when I thought it was hopeless.

I hate cooking. I can do basics, but that's about it. I usually store my pans in my oven 'cause I don't really use either. I either microwave everything or sautee it with olive oil (Trader Joe's has a GREAT garlic infused olive oil). I have a steamer that goes in the microwave for veggies (by Tupperware). Often, I just throw them in the frying pan frozen and cook them that way. Or, I throw them in my blender and make a smoothie.

I buy mostly frozen fruits and veggies, eggs, egg whites, tofu, chicken, shrimp and bison. I do buy some "chicken" (soy products) and chicken sausage (have to watch the sodium with that, though). I have an array of protein powders, depending on what nutritional need I'm trying to fill. I avoid added sugar, get a lot of fiber and usually keep my sodium below 2300. I am a picky eater because I want the most nutritional bang for my calorie buck.

My macros are set to 40-35-25 (protein-carbs-fat) because that's what works best for me. Finding that out has been trial and error. And I LOVELOVELOVE carbs. I weigh/measure things in the am and pack my foods into little pyrex dishes to take to work. I drink a vat of green (iced) tea every day. And I don't make my macros every day, and I don't beat myself up if I don't (any more). But then tomorrow is another day to try.

Healthy eating doesn't have to be complicated. Even for us picky people. Even for us picky people cooking for other picky people. It takes time and patience. My best advice is to not change everything all at once. Try adding a cup of veggies or fruit a day for a week. Once you've got that down, swap out a simpler carb for a more complex one. Next, get another serving of lean protein each day for a week. Then try spices for flavor instead of sauces. If the concoction is icky, laugh and try again! If you're eating with your kids, make some funny faces and then make a PB&J (with no sugar added PB and jelly and whole grain bread). Then start the cycle again.

If you're not already, enter your gender, age and weight into the cardio machines. This will give you a more accurate burn. Then lop off another 20%. Enter the calories manually into MFP. If you can afford it, think about getting a HRM. They are great for measuring intensity and training progress. Can you work out with a trainer? Or look at Fitness RX for Women or Muscle an Fitness Hers magazines. Strength training is important. Yoga is great!

You've got to give yourself grace and patience. Keep moving forward and don't give up! The weight's not going to come off in an instant, but it will come off. You're building life-long habits. Think 15 years down the road. If one of your kids is a daughter and she is struggling with her weight, would you want her to consider a pro-ana site to drop the pounds? I'm guessing no. So please treat yourself with the same love, kindness and respect that I know you would extend to her. It really is a journey and there are lots of us on the road with you--so please don't give up!

amieosia

Thank you, thank you, thank you! And congratulations on your success!

PJPrimrose

You do not have to starve yourself to get down to a normal weight. Two words: bone loss. Bone loss is bad.

jeschauvin

Not to beat a dead horse but it really looks like you need to eat a little bit more.

I'm no nutritionist but in the last 2 years I've lost 20 lbs and dropped by BF to 17%. In the last few weeks my weight loss has completely stalled. My boyfriend suggested I eat a little more. This wasn't the first time I've heard that. But decided to give it a try.

So I went to iifym and used their calculator and what did they say? I wasn't eating enough. Just like he said. (1400) So I upped my calories to 1600 and within a week I lost another pound. I know it's super scary to convince yourself to eat more. It just seems to go against everything right? I mean, calories in calories out? But that isn't really true. What would it hurt to give it a shot?

If you're serious about this change in your life then spending a week or two trying something different won't kill you. If it works you'll be that much closer to your goal. If not then you try something different.

And also, as far as the logging goes a "chicken sandwich" you find already on MFP isn't good enough. Usually I log the bread I use along with any mayo, etc then weigh the meat. Every single thing. You'd be surprised how those little numbers can add up to make a big difference.

Good luck!

courtparks

10bs is 10Lbs...Go pick up a 10 lb bag of dog food/Sugar and you can feel the difference. Sometime too few Calories has a body storing it as fat, instead of burning thru it. Also if your doing the same thing for three straight weeks your body gets use to what your doing. Chris powell has a great book about Carb cycling, and some great tips. Not sure if that helps.

auddii

When it recomm1200, then why is 1000 so bad? It's almost the same thing.

If I owe you $1200, can I pay you only $1000 because it's almost the same thing?

I agree with others that you need to eat to your calorie goal. If you workout as well, log those calories and eat at least half of those back also. Log accurately, and give the article posted above a read.

thecastlefords

Healthy eating doesn't have to be complicated. Even for us picky people. Even for us picky people cooking for other picky people. It takes time and patience. My best advice is to not change everything all at once. Try adding a cup of veggies or fruit a day for a week. Once you've got that down, swap out a simpler carb for a more complex one. Next, get another serving of lean protein each day for a week. Then try spices for flavor instead of sauces. If the concoction is icky, laugh and try again! If you're eating with your kids, make some funny faces and then make a PB&J (with no sugar added PB and jelly and whole grain bread). Then start the cycle again.

Exactly right. Time and patience are key! As many other people have said across multiple forums - it's taken time to put this weight on, it's going to take time to take it off. Ease into the healthy habits, and pretty soon they'll start to be that - habits, not things you have to inflict on yourself! It's crazy that we can "trick" our brains, even when we know we're trying to, so we can - things like, starting to tell yourself that you are a gourmand, that you appreciate food, and that you're going to discover heaps of delicious things - (trying to squeeze the image out of your head of yourself as a "picky" eater), will over time help you start feeling a bit more adventurous about the food choices out there...and there are many choices!

grubb1019

Considering your history you should realize that starving yourself and loosing the weight fast does not lead to you keeping it off. Look up scientific studies, the slower you loose weight the more likely you are to keep it off. You really need to consult a doctor. If you continue to eat so few calories you are going to make yourself sick and you will not be able to work your two jobs, take care of your kids and husband.

rbiss

The best advice I can give it try doing it the healthy way this time around. It sounds like in the past you have had unhealthy weight loss. I know this way is slower, but it is sustainable and will work. Try bumping your calories up to a net of 1200 and see what happens.

I totally get being busy and trying to work through all of this in addition to just hating how you feel in your own skin. It's very depressing and I get wanting to drop the weight as fast as possible. I've been trying to just ignore this, work out alot which is really helping how I feel, and making sure I have alot of stuff in the freezer so I don't skip meals or even worse, get takeout. It will come off but it's going to be a process.

Good luck.