men

why do u guys think if ur woman wants to lose weight and start going to the gym again ur mind goes straight to cheating? not only was my husbands mind thinking that but his friends think that too? cant i do something for myself? i am looking forward to wearing a bathing suit in public and not hide under a t shirt... sorry a little vent
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Replies

  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    O.o perhaps forums aren't the best place for this.
    Sounds like you two need to work this out between yourselves, tbh.
  • ab_1203
    ab_1203 Posts: 88 Member
    Not all of us!
  • AJ_G
    AJ_G Posts: 4,158 Member
    Usually there are already underlying trust issues already if that's what he thinks when you hit the gym...
  • mamadukes23
    mamadukes23 Posts: 36 Member
    I know exactly what you mean....I always hear "who you trying to impress?" Or some other stupid comments or accusations because I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Its just an issue with themselves being insecure.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    It would suck to have a significant other that insecure...
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    It would suck to have a significant other that insecure...
  • hurleycutie142
    hurleycutie142 Posts: 480 Member
    I know exactly what you mean....I always hear "who you trying to impress?" Or some other stupid comments or accusations because I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Its just an issue with themselves being insecure.


    i have never once even looked at another man or talk to anyone... i have nothing to hide... i go to the gym because of me... if i wanted to leave him i wouldnt need to hit the gym i would just leave... it started because his co workers were making comments about him having a hot wife...
  • mamadukes23
    mamadukes23 Posts: 36 Member
    I know exactly what you mean....I always hear "who you trying to impress?" Or some other stupid comments or accusations because I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Its just an issue with themselves being insecure.

    I completely understand. Don't let it get to you too much, at the end of the day you are doing it for you and only you . He is just worried that he will no longer be good enough for you and his "friends/co workers" comments should be taken with a grain of salt . Im sure when you are around for many more years he will be appreciative that you decided to do this for yourself.

    i have never once even looked at another man or talk to anyone... i have nothing to hide... i go to the gym because of me... if i wanted to leave him i wouldnt need to hit the gym i would just leave... it started because his co workers were making comments about him having a hot wife...
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    People don't like seeing someone change habits and challenge "the norm." He is suspicious only because we are naturally suspicious when someone we know decides to start acting differently.

    Just talk to him about your goals and stuff, he should understand and maybe will want to join in. Don't be all secretive and weird about it. It isn't fair to him.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    I know exactly what you mean....I always hear "who you trying to impress?" Or some other stupid comments or accusations because I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Its just an issue with themselves being insecure.


    i have never once even looked at another man or talk to anyone... i have nothing to hide... i go to the gym because of me... if i wanted to leave him i wouldnt need to hit the gym i would just leave... it started because his co workers were making comments about him having a hot wife...

    Lies. You has them.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I think people think stuff like that because it's a cliche and they don't think about things that are any deeper than some nonsense cliche they heard.
  • texstorm
    texstorm Posts: 158 Member
    why do u guys think if ur woman wants to lose weight and start going to the gym again ur mind goes straight to cheating? not only was my husbands mind thinking that but his friends think that too? cant i do something for myself? i am looking forward to wearing a bathing suit in public and not hide under a t shirt... sorry a little vent

    I would offer two things about this -

    First, jealousy is rooted in lack of self-confidence. He's afraid that you want to leave him and he's looking for evidence to support that idea. Rather than argue with him, just tell him you love him and just want to take better care of yourself.

    Second, often people get uncomfortable when someone close to them begins focusing on themselves because they fear it reflects poorly on their own lack of concern for their own health and well-being. My wife expressed concern that if I get too fit I won't be attracted to her anymore. That's nonsense, but it isn't really about me. Again, it's about insecurity. I invited my wife to exercise with me, and now it's something we do together for fun. Ask him if he'd like to join you and do this together. You might be surprised by his answer.

    -Tex

    KPP
  • ritan7471
    ritan7471 Posts: 99 Member
    Whenever I start eating healthy and exercising more, my husband gets more affectionate. Hugs all the time, sweet words and so on.

    I'm trying to figure out if he thinks I'm doing it to cheat and he's worried, or if he's just really pleased I'm taking care of myself and cooking healthy meals.

    I think option B because he's really enthusiastic about the healthier food.

    I agree with the other posters who say that it's probably insecurity plus having his friends saying all those things. People can be very suggestable sometimes.
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
    Just say, "so you want me to die from obesity related problems. Thanks a lot". and go off and sulk.

    Maybe he will get the hint that weight loss isn't just about appearance.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Just say, "so you want me to die from obesity related problems. Thanks a lot". and go off and sulk.

    Maybe he will get the hint that weight loss isn't just about appearance.
    That sounds so selfish .-.
  • I could never be with a man who doesn't support my fitness/health goals. If he has a problem with it then he shouldn't be with me. :) There was a woman on another fitness forum whose boyfriend didn't like her working out. I think it's a crock of *kitten*. I just don't see how anyone with a sound state of mind would not want their loved one to feel happier/healthier.
  • Sartajsingh85
    Sartajsingh85 Posts: 24 Member
    Pls Read this Book .... (Sex at Dawn - By Christopher Ryan) it will help !!
  • It would suck to have a significant other that insecure...

    This. He's insecure and projecting it onto you.