2 year plateau and confused about differences in calories

a_stronger_me13

She's a really skinny person and an OBGYN so I'm not sure this is really her forte.

Dat reverse discrimination

No, that's being realistic that an historically thin person has no idea what it's like to have a lifelong weight struggle.

If I said I hated her because she was skinny, that would be discrimination.

No, but she clearly does know how to use moderation and maintain her weight so maybe she's worth listening to?

If you are eyeballing your food, then there is a lot of room for error in your logging. Chances are you are eating more than you think. It is impossible for you to not be losing at 1200 calories a day with your current stats.

Strokingdiction

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

LolBroScience

How do you track all you eat? Do you use a digital food scale for everything (except liquids)?

HOw long eating at 1740?

Several months. I don't use a digital scale but when I eat at work I ask them what the measurements are...it's a cafeteria so that's pretty easy for them. The rest is a pretty good estimate, and I know I tend to overestimate the portions because I'm afraid to underestimate.

Open your diary.
Weigh your food.

Erikalynne18

I was starving and tired at 1200/day.

I've played around with all sorts of calorie numbers and nothing seems to make sense.

You should NOT be starving and tired all the time! Eat more please. I did the 1200 cal thing for a few months when I first started and I hated it, I was cranky, my stomach woke me up grumbling at night, I had dizzy spells and no energy to focus and workout.... Never again. Look up 'eat more to weight less'.

Aaron_K123

I was starving and tired at 1200/day.

I've played around with all sorts of calorie numbers and nothing seems to make sense.

You should NOT be starving and tired all the time! Eat more please. I did the 1200 cal thing for a few months when I first started and I hated it, I was cranky, my stomach woke me up grumbling at night, I had dizzy spells and no energy to focus and workout.... Never again. Look up 'eat more to weight less'.

This is true if she was eating 1200 calories, but if she is gaining weight she is probably wrong about eating 1200 calories.

EvanKeel

She's a really skinny person and an OBGYN so I'm not sure this is really her forte.

Dat reverse discrimination

No, that's being realistic that an historically thin person has no idea what it's like to have a lifelong weight struggle.

If I said I hated her because she was skinny, that would be discrimination.

Because she knows how to eat properly to maintain her weight at a healthy level. Seems to me that "skinny" people are who you should be listening to.

I am sorry but I find it difficult to believe that at 230 pounds you are eating only 1200 calories a day while exercising and gaining weight, that doesn't make sense and suggests there is some sort of error in your logging. Your BMR has got to be higher than 1200 so there isn't really a way that you could eat that little and not lose weight.

First I'm going to back up the OP here. She's very clearly stated in different replies that she's had a conversation with this person in the context of eating behavior. If we assume that the OP is honestly relaying the spirit of the conversation (we have no reason to believe otherwise), we can safely say the OBGYN has no advice to give her, by her own admission, because she's never had a weight problem. The only reason to bring up the professional's weight at all was to communicate that she can't actually offer the OP any useful advice or specific empathy from their own experience; it doesn't exist. While the biochemistry behind losing weight isn't particularly complex for the majority of healthy people, it's not always easy. Our own behaviors are hard to manage sometimes. Suggesting that a skinny person might have advice (for another individual) on that front by virtue of being skinny is ridiculously illogical.

Now I'm going to back you. OP, you're eating more than you think are. Really. If you're willing to accept that you don't have a medical condition, Occam's Razor says that your math is just wrong.

sunshinesoprano

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Erikalynne18

She's a really skinny person and an OBGYN so I'm not sure this is really her forte.

Dat reverse discrimination

No, that's being realistic that an historically thin person has no idea what it's like to have a lifelong weight struggle.

If I said I hated her because she was skinny, that would be discrimination.

This is off the original topic but I would like to point out that she may not have always been skinny. I moved back here after I lost weight and people who met me after my weight loss believed I was always a 'natural skinny' person. I've actually received some pretty nasty looks when I give advice. But I guess that's just the way it goes. oh well

lesliesoup

i would try cutting out 500 a day for a week and see if you lose. If not cut another 500....etc etc. How tall are you ? I think 1200 calories is too low. I am 62 and 5'6 and i can lose weight if I eat 1400 calories a day.

sunshinesoprano

I greatly appreciate all of you who have provided feedback and I certainly never meant to come off in a defensive way.

I have always struggled with this, especially given my muscle mass and how quickly I build it. It even amazed my weight trainer in high school.

I used to be a dancer, in case you want to know, and was in excellent shape and still framed larger than every other dancer in that group.

While some of you have offered wonderful advisement, others of you are just rude and nasty and clearly need to go look at yourselves in the mirror.

I really asked about TDEE and other things in my post and YES, the reason I mentioned my doctor was because she legitimately could not give me any other advice other than the 1200 calories because she could not identify with my struggle.

Strokingdiction

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Really. It's not a joke nor an attempt to be mean. You both have no concept of what you're eating. In the face of medical professionals telling you there's nothing wrong with your metabolism, you continue to believe it's something other than what it is. The only roadblock to your weight loss is you.

Strokingdiction

I greatly appreciate all of you who have provided feedback and I certainly never meant to come off in a defensive way.

I have always struggled with this, especially given my muscle mass and how quickly I build it. It even amazed my weight trainer in high school.

I used to be a dancer, in case you want to know, and was in excellent shape and still framed larger than every other dancer in that group.

While some of you have offered wonderful advisement, others of you are just rude and nasty and clearly need to go look at yourselves in the mirror.

I really asked about TDEE and other things in my post and YES, the reason I mentioned my doctor was because she legitimately could not give me any other advice other than the 1200 calories because she could not identify with my struggle.

No.

sunshinesoprano

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Really. It's not a joke nor an attempt to be mean. You both have no concept of what you're eating. In the face of medical professionals telling you there's nothing wrong with your metabolism, you continue to believe it's something other than what it is. The only roadblock to your weight loss is you.

Really, because I'm pretty sure I do. I have done this consistently almost every day for three years. I know exactly what I eat to the point it drives my family and my co-workers crazy.

I ask the people in the cafeteria to measure out certain portions, what brand things are and they look at me like I'm NUTS.

DO NOT JUDGE.

Aaron_K123

She's a really skinny person and an OBGYN so I'm not sure this is really her forte.

Dat reverse discrimination

No, that's being realistic that an historically thin person has no idea what it's like to have a lifelong weight struggle.

If I said I hated her because she was skinny, that would be discrimination.

Because she knows how to eat properly to maintain her weight at a healthy level. Seems to me that "skinny" people are who you should be listening to.

I am sorry but I find it difficult to believe that at 230 pounds you are eating only 1200 calories a day while exercising and gaining weight, that doesn't make sense and suggests there is some sort of error in your logging. Your BMR has got to be higher than 1200 so there isn't really a way that you could eat that little and not lose weight.

First I'm going to back up the OP here. She's very clearly stated in different replies that she's had a conversation with this person in the context of eating behavior. If we assume that the OP is honestly relaying the spirit of the conversation (we have no reason to believe otherwise), we can safely say the OBGYN has no advice to give her, by her own admission, because she's never had a weight problem. The only reason to bring up the professional's weight at all was to communicate that she can't actually offer the OP any useful advice or specific empathy from their own experience; it doesn't exist. While the biochemistry behind losing weight isn't particularly complex for the majority of healthy people, it's not always easy. Our own behaviors are hard to manage sometimes. Suggesting that a skinny person might have advice (for another individual) on that front by virtue of being skinny is ridiculously illogical.

Now I'm going to back you. OP, you're eating more than you think are. Really. If you're willing to accept that you don't have a medical condition, Occam's Razor says that your math is just wrong.

Yeah okay phrased that way that makes sense. I guess I knee-jerk reacted a bit to the "skinny person" comment. I'm with you though that OP is eating more than 1200 calories if she is maintaining or gaining weight.

deksgrl

i would try cutting out 500 a day for a week and see if you lose. If not cut another 500....etc etc. How tall are you ? I think 1200 calories is too low. I am 62 and 5'6 and i can lose weight if I eat 1400 calories a day.

So if she were really eating 1200 then you would advise her to eat 700? No. Just No.

Aaron_K123

Really, because I'm pretty sure I do. I have done this consistently almost every day for three years. I know exactly what I eat to the point it drives my family and my co-workers crazy.

I ask the people in the cafeteria to measure out certain portions, what brand things are and they look at me like I'm NUTS.

DO NOT JUDGE.

Several months. I don't use a digital scale but when I eat at work I ask them what the measurements are...it's a cafeteria so that's pretty easy for them. The rest is a pretty good estimate

These two statements are at odds. One implies you are exact in your logging and calorie counting, the other suggests that you largely eat food that you did not prepare and use estimates to guess at your calorie intake.

It isn't a matter of judging it is a matter of math. At your weight your BMR is above 1200 no matter what "metabolic condition" you may or may not have just on the basis of your body having to maintain a temperature of 98.6 degrees and organ function. If you were eating 1200 calories a day and your BMR is above 1200 you would lose weight. You are not losing weight so therefore your estimate of your intake is wrong. This is not personal its just math.

Strokingdiction

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Really. It's not a joke nor an attempt to be mean. You both have no concept of what you're eating. In the face of medical professionals telling you there's nothing wrong with your metabolism, you continue to believe it's something other than what it is. The only roadblock to your weight loss is you.

Really, because I'm pretty sure I do. I have done this consistently almost every day for three years. I know exactly what I eat to the point it drives my family and my co-workers crazy.

I ask the people in the cafeteria to measure out certain portions, what brand things are and they look at me like I'm NUTS.

DO NOT JUDGE.

I'm not judging. You have consistently done something for 2 years. That something is not getting you to your goals. If you don't want to change, then keep doing what you're doing. Keep consistently eating foods prepared by someone else so that you can't know the exact content. Keep relying on 'underestimates". Keep doing it but at the same time, don't be surprised when your weight remains the same and don't ask for advice and then call those people mean or judgemental when they try to show you what you're doing wrong.

deksgrl

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Really. It's not a joke nor an attempt to be mean. You both have no concept of what you're eating. In the face of medical professionals telling you there's nothing wrong with your metabolism, you continue to believe it's something other than what it is. The only roadblock to your weight loss is you.

Really, because I'm pretty sure I do. I have done this consistently almost every day for three years. I know exactly what I eat to the point it drives my family and my co-workers crazy.

I ask the people in the cafeteria to measure out certain portions, what brand things are and they look at me like I'm NUTS.

DO NOT JUDGE.

Yes, but then how do you log what was measured? Was it instant mashed potatoes made with water, or was it real potatoes with butter and milk? Is the macaroni salad made with light mayo or real mayo? How much cheese is in that serving of casserole, is it low fat or full fat cheese? The grilled or fried whatever, did they cook it in oil, marinade it in something? We could go on and on here. The point being **if YOU did not personally make it, you don't know what is in it, therefore you cannot correctly count the calories in it.**

sunshinesoprano

Belly Dancer: Do you have a slow metabolism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLwzbvx4S4

I think the OP and this woman suffer from the same issue.

Really?

Really. It's not a joke nor an attempt to be mean. You both have no concept of what you're eating. In the face of medical professionals telling you there's nothing wrong with your metabolism, you continue to believe it's something other than what it is. The only roadblock to your weight loss is you.

Really, because I'm pretty sure I do. I have done this consistently almost every day for three years. I know exactly what I eat to the point it drives my family and my co-workers crazy.

I ask the people in the cafeteria to measure out certain portions, what brand things are and they look at me like I'm NUTS.

DO NOT JUDGE.

Yes, but then how do you log what was measured? Was it instant mashed potatoes made with water, or was it real potatoes with butter and milk? Is the macaroni salad made with light mayo or real mayo? How much cheese is in that serving of casserole, is it low fat or full fat cheese? The grilled or fried whatever, did they cook it in oil, marinade it in something? We could go on and on here. The point being **if YOU did not personally make it, you don't know what is in it, therefore you cannot correctly count the calories in it.**

Those are good questions.

If I eat at work, I ask. It's an Aramark cafeteria, so it's pretty easy to get info from the chef.

I don't like things mixed together, so I rarely eat anything that isn't just tiself. A potato, a piece of turkey, etc. If I make a salad, I make it myself and measure everything I put in it.

If I eat out, I use the restaraunt's nutrition chart.

weird_me2

I feel for you, in general, OP. I've got some severe thyroid issues. I am very rigid in weighing and measuring my food. I've been in recovery from an eating disorder.

I know what it's like to look in the general forums and realize I can't apply most advice to myself, because I am different. I can become very angry towards myself for being different, or for expecting forums to solve problems that even my endo laughingly puts "We're all still trying to figure out ourselves."

But here's the thing.

You have options. Have you had your thyroid levels checked? You mentioned a family history of hypothyroidism, but a family history doesn't mean you're doomed to have it (thank goodness!) or that you've been tested. If you haven't had them checked, perhaps get them done for you and your doctor to eliminate (or consider) a cause.

But here's the other thing: weighing and measuring your food is key. If you're not doing it, you're not aware of what you eat. You've been here awhile, I see, but not active on the forums. I cannot tell you HOW many people have come in with a VERY similar story to you, and 9 times out of 10, they're eating more than they think. "Making good choices" is fine for health, but not necessarily weight loss.

You seem to have fallen into the "bad" vs. "good" food trap as well. I've seen it firsthand; someone eats salad and chicken and thinks they're superior to others for their food, healthier for their food or "should be losing weight." Except they don't measure the dressing they put on the salad. An 8 oz. chicken breast becomes a 4 oz. chicken breast to them. "I'm eating yogurt and don't eat fried foods!" but eating 10 cups of yogurt and having a tub of nuts for snacks.

All of this could still be fine... provided someone is aware of exactly how many calories/portions they're ingesting vs. what they're putting out.

I do have to say, that assuming anything of your "skinny" doctor's experience doesn't put you in a good light. You have no idea what she may have gone through as a child, as a young adult, etc. She may have had an eating disorder. She may have lost weight before. She might have struggled with weight during her residency when she couldn't be bothered to focus on her weight.

Most of all? If she's thin, why would you discount anything she says? She's doing something you want, correct... to be a lower weight, a healthier weight?

Again I say about my doctor...I HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT WITH HER. She even said she couldn't know how I felt.

OMG...before you all jump my case, read the posts

I never said I wasn't going to weigh my food.

Most of the people think I'm trying to starve myself because I eat so little.

I appreciate all of you who have given me advisement. I'm not being defensive, but rather trying to explain that I"m not a novice at this and am really stuck. Some of you seem to not care about anything but being heard. That's fine.

I didn't get on your case, yet for someone who claims to not be defensive... why would you interpret my post in anyway like that?

I read all your posts on here. I didn't see anywhere where you specifically got thyroid tests or asked for a blood panel. I could assume your statement that "She keeps saying it's food" means you might have asked that and your doctor hasn't given you the bloodwork, but if I've learned one thing about these forums, it's not to assume things. Provide us with more detail if you want us to know the intimate details of your journey. Plus, the fact that a gyno wouldn't be the doctor to go to for thyroid advice at all, a GP or (better yet) an endo would be.

Unfortunately, I'm seeing "The lady doth protest too much"--you interpreted attacks by page 2, you "assume" responses before they're said, and now lengthy posts full of as much objective advice as possible (with doses of empathy in many of them) get dubbed as "People only care about being heard" and passive-aggression.

Well, it's a forum. People want to be heard when they share advice with you, a forum is designed for different voices *to* be heard; the issue here is that you don't appear to want to hear what so many are saying, and seem to be hearing things that no one is doing (a.k.a, attacks).
[/quote

The problem is, someone else even said they could see how I would feel attacked. I didn't say YOU attacked me.

I've had a thyroid test...she said it was fine and refused to dig further, insisting it was just food.

I'm not defensive, just trying to explain, and before you fuss at me for something, go back and read the other posts.

Okay, it really seems like you're only focusing on the negative here. It seems like you are doing this as a way of avoiding looking at what's really wrong. There have been lots of suggestions to weigh your food and be more accurate - all of which have been met with excuses:

I know the calories in my food because it's packaged or the cafeteria at work is exact
I don't eat a lot of salt
I measure with a measuring cup

You've said yourself that "it's not the food, something else has to be wrong..." yet, your doctor has told you that your problem is your food and many of the people on here have told you the same thing. Yet, instead of responding to the suggestions in a manner that says that it's given you something to think about, you respond in a manner that says that you're not willing to change.

It's easy to play the victim card - my skinny doctor doesn't understand me, my family is all big and we're not meant to be skinny, there has to be something wrong because I'm doing everything right. There is a very slight chance that maybe there is a medical issue, however instead of ruling out the other options, you are complaining that nothing's working when you're not willing to even SEE if there's another problem.

In one of your defensive responses, I see that you finally said that you "never said you weren't going to use a food scale" yet every other excuse of a response indicates that you have no intention of using a food scale. Being so defensive about everything (and I did not see anything attacking you in the first couple of pages) makes it seem to me like you KNOW what your problem is and aren't willing to do what it takes to fix it. If you don't want to, that's fine, you aren't ready, but life gets a lot easier when you stop being a victim and start being in control.

FWIW, here are the problems I'm guessing (which are only guesses since you still haven't opened your food diary or even given a run down of what you typically eat).

1) Not logging your food regularly
2) Eating more than you think you are - if you aren't weighing your food, you have no clue, even when using a measuring cup - yeah, sometimes your estimates might only be off by 10-20%, but that could be several hundred calories a day depending on density
3) You don't know how most of your food is really made - even if the kitchen at work is "healthy", it doesn't mean that the chef doesn't use extra oil or butter on stuff - it also doesn't mean that they are cooking low calorie - healthy =/= calorie controlled
4) You are using the wrong entries for what you do eat - even if you know what you are eating, calories vary by brand and item type. Entries in the database are also often VERY wrong. I was logging fajita meat yesterday - one entry listed a 4 oz portion of cooked chicken fajita meat as 110 calories. There's really no possible way that's accurate - 4 oz of cooked chicken (by the NI for what I buy) is closer to 180 calories and that doesn't even take in to account the marinade/oil. I've seen much bigger errors on some entries, even for some name brand products.
5) You have binges or "cheat" meals that you don't accurately account for. These can add up to thousands of calories - yes THOUSANDS. Last night I had a medium shake from Sonic - I figured based on a medium blizzard it would be between 500-1000 calories - I logged it and it was over 1200! A lot of people I know would have probably guessed it as 500 calories. Have a few items like this per week/month and it's enough to make you gain.

My suggestions:
1) Cook for yourself and weigh everything
2) If you won't cook for yourself, then do a couple of weeks Jenny Craig style - only eat pre-packaged meals from home, no restaurant or cafeteria food. This will probably be much more accurate than what you are currently doing. It won't be fun, but it will probably get the scale moving in the right direction.
3) Try a different "diet". It sounds like you are burnt out on calorie counting. Maybe try Weight Watchers? It's the same concept, but different. Or, maybe look at something like Intermittent Fasting - just do something different. Maybe having a fresh perspective will help you get the weight loss going again.
4) Find a new goal that's not weight loss related. Set a fitness goal and up your exercise to be better. Do you know that there are some recommendations that in order to lose weight and keep it off we need 60-90 minutes of exercise MOST days of the week? Three days of 45 minutes isn't burning a ton of calories and obviously isn't boosting your loss. Maybe, if you aren't willing to change the food, then changing the exercise will make a difference. You can find time to do it, you just have to want to.

Finally, be honest with yourself. If you aren't in the right frame of mind to lose weight right now, then focus on maintaining and stop stressing yourself out. It's okay. Yes, losing weight is going to be beneficial, but not gaining back what you've already lost will be more beneficial than giving up and gaining it all back.