Wife not confident with MFP. She only lost 2lbs in 2 weeks

rabblerabble

Losing a pound a week is just fine. Lose it much faster and it tends to come back.

whitebalance

she is going to reply in a few. Love some of the funny posts here. Taking this way too seriuo

In... because any time of year, I'm a sucker for

_Terrapin_

Where is she? Does she know we care? Does she really exist?

jofjltncb6

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Don't worry you've done nothing wrong here

You're a solid wing-man.

ZombieEarhart

I know this sounds crazy but I have read and re-read OP's post and I just done see where it says she's losing 1lb per week.

Bottom line... Calorie counting doesn't cut it for everyone. It is a way, and a very darn good and effective way, but it just doesn't work without obsession and insane un-sustainable deficits for some people.

My honest advice: Give Low-Carb, High-Fat a fair two-three week run. She'll be shocked and excited. It will drop.

Yeah, anyone would lose in the first 2-3 weeks of low carb. Then what? Then she's back to losing .5 pounds a week. I think a better plan is to adjust expectations and eat at a moderate deficit.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Where is she? Does she know we care? Does she really exist?

I think she tossed him and his computer out the front door

PikaKnight

ok i got more info because i was wrong...


she has it set to 1 lb a week. So she is getting her goal. I find it odd that 1lb a week is 1250 but i think its because of her body type. She isnt overweight.


and SonicDeathMon... you should have seen her when she stepped on the scale. super angry.

If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal


When your wife set up things, did she pick that she was sedentary?

As a teacher, I'd have thought she'd be lightly active. Does she exercise at all? When you say 1250, is this net (eating exercise calories back)...or is this the total?


ETA: It sounds like she's making her goals so until her progress stops for a couple months (both in terms of scale loss and measurements), she shouldn't be worrying or rushing things.

michelle_816

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Honestly was she suppose to say "don't do it"? You managed to lose a lot of weight using MFP, that can be intimidating to your SO. She has very little to lose so it will be at a slow rate if she wants the weight to stay off. As a female my weight ranges within a 4lb. range, until you have over a month of logging and get a number consistently outside of your range you have no way of knowing what you did or didn't lose. She needs to just stick to it and any movement downward of the numbers is great. She may also want to remember it takes less calories to fuel a smaller body, so a large deficient is not really possible for her like it was for you.

As a wife of 17 yrs.....if this is truly something your wife wanted to learn and commit to she would post on her own behalf. I love having my husband in my corner but I am a big girl and can handle my own concerns (except spiders Yuck). If she needs your help she will ask not just OK it after you offer. If she isn't happy about the scale, just smile and say something along the lines of " you look beautiful" or something flirtatious. She will vent, it doesn't mean she needs rescuing. She also will not lose weight in a healthy way till she decides she is done with fad diets. Also if you notice small body changes in her, comment and compliment her. Body changes are what she most likely looking for with only 20lbs. to lose. Noticing things tightening up and saying how good she looks can give her incentive and score you brownie points.

To the OP and others, this last week I have seen a few posts from men posting on behalf of their wife.....did a bunch of married women break their damn fingers. Men if it was important enough to her, she would find a way to find her answers with posting or through another resource.

In support of the OP here! First let me say that your wife is doing GREAT! One thing to have her look at more closely is whether or not she is getting enough calories (is she eating back her exercise calories?). Please keep encouraging her and being supportive! If she wants you to stop asking questions on her behalf, by all means do so. But if she has no issues with this (I know I wouldn't), then ask away!

To all of you out there bashing the OP, did you ever consider the fact that his wife is laid back and could very well be sitting in the same room with him as he asks these questions? Did you ever think that perhaps she is busy tending to other things, but would still appreciate the feedback and simply does not have the time to sit at her computer?

DH and I have been married for 12 years and I would be thrilled if he expressed more of an interest in my weight loss, especially if I was struggling. He's supportive, and I am doing well, but hopping on MFP to post something on my behalf is just not his thing. He would rather have me do the asking/talking. I am more comfortable with it.

I think it shows a mutual respect and trust with this couple that OP can ask the questions that will help support his wife in her journey!

megsmom2

Weight loss-wise...she's doing fine. But why are YOU doing the asking .....

AglaeaC

How bizarre. First thread where the two different tracks are perfect to pursue simultaneously :laugh: Neither is side track, but both are main. Never thought I'd see that.

jofjltncb6

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Honestly was she suppose to say "don't do it"? You managed to lose a lot of weight using MFP, that can be intimidating to your SO. She has very little to lose so it will be at a slow rate if she wants the weight to stay off. As a female my weight ranges within a 4lb. range, until you have over a month of logging and get a number consistently outside of your range you have no way of knowing what you did or didn't lose. She needs to just stick to it and any movement downward of the numbers is great. She may also want to remember it takes less calories to fuel a smaller body, so a large deficient is not really possible for her like it was for you.

As a wife of 17 yrs.....if this is truly something your wife wanted to learn and commit to she would post on her own behalf. I love having my husband in my corner but I am a big girl and can handle my own concerns (except spiders Yuck). If she needs your help she will ask not just OK it after you offer. If she isn't happy about the scale, just smile and say something along the lines of " you look beautiful" or something flirtatious. She will vent, it doesn't mean she needs rescuing. She also will not lose weight in a healthy way till she decides she is done with fad diets. Also if you notice small body changes in her, comment and compliment her. Body changes are what she most likely looking for with only 20lbs. to lose. Noticing things tightening up and saying how good she looks can give her incentive and score you brownie points.

To the OP and others, this last week I have seen a few posts from men posting on behalf of their wife.....did a bunch of married women break their damn fingers. Men if it was important enough to her, she would find a way to find her answers with posting or through another resource.

In support of the OP here! First let me say that your wife is doing GREAT! One thing to have her look at more closely is whether or not she is getting enough calories (is she eating back her exercise calories?). Please keep encouraging her and being supportive! If she wants you to stop asking questions on her behalf, by all means do so. But if she has no issues with this (I know I wouldn't), then ask away!

To all of you out there bashing the OP, did you ever consider the fact that his wife is laid back and could very well be sitting in the same room with him as he asks these questions? Did you ever think that perhaps she is busy tending to other things, but would still appreciate the feedback and simply does not have the time to sit at her computer?

DH and I have been married for 12 years and I would be thrilled if he expressed more of an interest in my weight loss, especially if I was struggling. He's supportive, and I am doing well, but hopping on MFP to post something on my behalf is just not his thing. He would rather have me do the asking/talking. I am more comfortable with it.

I think it shows a mutual respect and trust with this couple that OP can ask the questions that will help support his wife in her journey!

If that was the case, OP would have included that in his OP...

...but he didn't, so we made the logical (and mostly correct) assumptions that have led us to where we are now.

Some of us have seen this play out enough times to make a few educated guesses as to what's going on here. Sure, OP's wife could show up and it might end differently...but we're working with the facts we were given (and the reasonable assumptions we can make from those).

So far, I'm standing by those and not by your admittedly possible but unlikely scenario.

spatt786

I'm short, and I have about 30 lbs to lose max. I'd be happy with just 20. Anyway, I get capped at 1200 calories and that only allows me to lose 1 pound/week. If only I were taller.......

missiontofitness

You can recommend that she takes measurements; I've found that it's a better gauge than a number on a scale. Even when my numbers don't change or go down (due to normal daily fluctuations), I still see it reflect on the measuring tape. Also, good for her for losing a pound a week! Two pounds for just beginning is pretty awesome. I would encourage you to keep encouraging her, and support her. Losing weight isn't linear, and isn't always easy. But if she keeps at it, and makes this a lifestyle change, the results she wants will come.

aldenxnedla

Women don't want to be fixed by their husband. They just want to vent at the husband and know you care enough to just listen to her.

For example:

WRONG WAY TO ANSWER
Wife: I just jumped on the scale and it says I only lost 1 lb.
Husband: You have your mfp settings wrong, plus I think you look great. You are not one of those fat women so I don't think you should worry about it.

CORRECT WAY TO ANSWER
Wife: I just jumped on the scale and it says I only lost 1 lb.
Husband: And how does that make you feel hunnie? Come here, I want to give my beautiful wife a hug.
*resist urge to give actual advise*

Now this is some serious marriage material right here. I already like this guy. I happen to be engaged to one who is just as amazing as this. I never actually asked him "Do you think I look fat?", because I already know I'm overweight (more then than I am now) and I didn't want to put him in that kind of trap. But there were times when I would get down on myself and vent to him about it. His best-ever response was, verbatim, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world in my eyes, no matter what." And all that did was motivate me even more to get healthy again so I could live a long life with this awesome man.

SLLRunner

Man, once she sees this, you're in deep sh**.

Ooohh, this is cute! :bigsmile:

Seriously, OP, you have lost a lot of weight (congrats, by the way), so you love her, support her, and tell her point blank she is way too impatient. 1 pound a week loss is awesome, but 1/2 a pound would be better and sustainable in the long run.

SLLRunner

I'm short, and I have about 30 lbs to lose max. I'd be happy with just 20. Anyway, I get capped at 1200 calories and that only allows me to lose 1 pound/week. If only I were taller.......

Are the wife married to the OP? If so, I think he's sweet.

SkimFlatWhite68

2lb a fortnight is excellent. My advice is to tell your wife to come onto MFP and look into it herself, and maybe you could have an honest conversation with her about slow and steady weight loss. The sexypants thread mentioned earlier is a good place to start.

ritan7471

If she's concerned with her progress, why isn't she posting to the forums? I know you probably think you're helping, but it's coming off as a little controlling. You are implying that 'just' going to classes at the gym isn't enough. You're guessing her water intake is to blame.

You are right about one thing: she has less to lose, so she will lose it more slowly. I don't think it would be wise to try to figure out what she is doing "wrong." Even if you are trying to help alleviate her frustration, even if your heart is in the right place, it won't be as helpful as simply encouraging her to keep with her plan. She can hunt for answers on the forums for herself if she feels that she's not getting to where she wants to be.

Thank you for saying more diplomatically than I could, what I was thinking. OP sounds like he's faintly criticizing her efforts as not quite enough, while trying to seem like he's just trying to help. I hope he's not at home saying "well, you're not drinking enough water and your are JUST taking classes at the gym".

stktrdr89

I would have to say that a lot depends on where she started and what her calorie deficit is each week. A person that weighs 200 lbs is usually going to lose faster in the beginning than someone that weighs 140. It just takes more calories to move a larger size. Age has a lot to do with it also. I have lost 22 lbs since the end of February because I had 70+ to lose in the first place. I also wear an armband that helps me "see" how many calories I have burned for the day. I use MFP to keep track of the calories consumed. For me it has been basic math. 7000 calorie deficit for the week usually gives me a 2lb loss. One thing I will say is that my scale doesn't budge if I don't get 6+ hrs of sleep, regardless of what my calorie count says. It can be maddening to know you are killing it in the kitchen but don't see the results. Just tell her to keep at it. If she can only make it to the gym 3 days a week then there are a lot of other ways to burn calories. One of my best burn days was outside doing yard work and pulling weeds. I know that I personally have to keep moving or nothing much changes. My armband just reminds me to get off my rear and do something.... anything to keep the activity level up.

MizMimi111

Posting only because I want to know if his wife posts.