Wife not confident with MFP. She only lost 2lbs in 2 weeks

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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Hasn't this guy posted about his 'wife' before? Funny she never showed up....
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    Lesson learned: to avoid unsolicited marriage advice, refer to your spouse as "friend" or heck even yourself when you post
  • carfanman
    carfanman Posts: 271 Member
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    1 pound a week is very good progress. It takes time, just like a person doesn't become overweight over night they can't safely lose the weight overnight.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    OP, I'll answer as a not overweight woman looking to lose around 20 lbs. It's math. (People may argue the technicalities of these numbers, but close enough.)

    It takes burning off 3500 excess calories to lose a pound. The heavier you are, the more calories your body requires just to exist. So let's say an overweight person requires 1800 calories, and they "earn" an additional 1000 calories through daily life activities and exercise. They eat 2800 calories to maintain, 2300 to lose one pound a week, and 1800 to lose 2 lbs a week.

    Let's say your wife's "just to exist" number is 1200. She "earns" 700 calories through daily activities. To maintain, she eats at 1900 calories. To lose 1 lb a week, she eats at 1400 calories. Even if she cuts down to 1200, that's going to give her less than an extra 1/2 lb a week.

    TL;DR: If she's not overweight already, it's going to be basically impossible to lose more than roughly a pound a week healthfully.
  • raven56706
    raven56706 Posts: 918 Member
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    Unfortunately, my wife went to the gym while i was watching our kids so she didnt have a chance to get to the forums. Again i appreciate everyones good advice. She read it and loved the encouragement. She wanted to hear that its ok just to lose 1 lb where as i lost in big amounts because my body type was very different.

    I mean she is so close to her goal anyways that it will be alittle harder but 1lb is awesome progress. She will post tonight when she has a chance but who knows. She is a very laid back person and she wanted me to post on here for her. Only reason why i posted here was so that she can see that this works and that fad diets are just temporary weight loss. She doesnt have time with work and kids. I work an office job so im infront of a computer all day.

    But again hopefully she posts tonight but appreciate all the positive feedback.
  • sheena8386
    sheena8386 Posts: 7
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    One pound a week is great! She needs to up her gym days to at least 4 times a week. And do an hour of cardio and some strength training. Its not gonna be easy! But if she keeps up with it, it will pay off!!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    One pound a week is great! She needs to up her gym days to at least 4 times a week. And do an hour of cardio and some strength training. Its not gonna be easy! But if she keeps up with it, it will pay off!!

    Why would she *need* to do that?
  • deegarz81
    deegarz81 Posts: 4
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    Thank you to everyone who gave positive feedback. I started my fitness pal two weeks ago and was feeling down and unmotivated. I saw how my husband and my friend were dropping pounds like nothing. One pound a week to me didn't seem that great. On Monday morning I weighed myself again and saw I lost 0.8 of a pound which discouraged me more because I couldn't understand why I wasn't losing more. My husband tried comforting me but I wanted to hear from others if I was the only one with this problem.

    Since I'm not familiar with the MFP website my husband said he would do me a favor and post the blog so that I can view everyone's comments. I'm happy to see positive comments which definitely made me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I am however, saddened at the negative comments some posted about my husband because his intention was to help me not only build confidence in MFP but in myself that I'm doing something right. Please do not criticize him for something I asked him to do. He is helping me achieve my healthy eating life style goal.
  • deegarz81
    deegarz81 Posts: 4
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    Isn't it sad that a caring husband can't do something to help his wife who is feeling discouraged because I'm not losing weight at the rate everyone else can. Believe me I do exist so next time if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    Isn't it sad that a caring husband can't do something to help his wife who is feeling discouraged because I'm not losing weight at the rate everyone else can. Believe me I do exist so next time if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting.
    the negative comments some posted about my husband

    Did I read a completely different thread?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Isn't it sad that a caring husband can't do something to help his wife who is feeling discouraged because I'm not losing weight at the rate everyone else can. Believe me I do exist so next time if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting.

    Just keep in mind that you *are* losing weight at the same rate everyone else in your situation is. Nothing you can do about it-even if your needs for the day were 2000 calories, and you went a whole week without eating anything at all, you'd lose at most four pounds of fat (and likely less of that number would really be fat.) An extra couple pounds a week really isn't worth that much pain and sacrifice.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Isn't it sad that a caring husband can't do something to help his wife who is feeling discouraged because I'm not losing weight at the rate everyone else can. Believe me I do exist so next time if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting.
    the negative comments some posted about my husband

    Did I read a completely different thread?

    ^this

    Also, since you're new to the forums...(even though you've had an account since 10/2011)...you simply don't realize how many times we've seen a scenario like this play out where the wife was more of an innocent victim than a willing bystander...and we've seen even more often where a spouse is trying to provide the motivation where it isn't appreciated by their spouse/partner. For your sake, I'm glad your situation isn't one of these cases.

    That said...
    if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting

    *sigh*

    ...how about instead of following your rules, I'll keep following my own rules which is to share what's on my mind whether it's interpreted as positive or not (within the Community Guidelines (all hail), of course).

    Best of luck with all your health and fitness goals. :flowerforyou:
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    Isn't it sad that a caring husband can't do something to help his wife who is feeling discouraged because I'm not losing weight at the rate everyone else can. Believe me I do exist so next time if you don't have positive feedback don't bother posting.
    the negative comments some posted about my husband

    Did I read a completely different thread?

    It's probably just our perception. Some comments to me read like, "Man you're so controlling, you're posting about how to get weight off your wife." "Of course she won't tell you not to post when you offered, she wants to avoid some nasty confrontation with you"

    I will freely admit to misquoting but that's how it felt.
  • deegarz81
    deegarz81 Posts: 4
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    No worries, this conversation was completely blown out of control. The purpose of this forum was so I can see feedback as to how I am progressing. Yes everyone should post comments themselves however with a full time job, two babies and other duties to worry about asking my husband to do it for me was a way he could help me. You may have seen cases where the boyfriend or husband is pressuring the wife to lose weight. However, that is not the case he always tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is. I am the one who decided that I needed to make a lifestyle change.

    I understand how everyone is entitled to your opinion however don't automatically make assumptions without knowing all of the facts. He did not mention anywhere that he wanted me to lose weight all he simply asked was advice on how to help me since I thought losing a pound a week was bad.

    Anyway, lets get back to the REAL and MAIN reason why this forum was started and not who started it. Thank you.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Making assumptions is essential to the forums working. If we only relied on the information given by OP, most of the threads wouldn't go anywhere at all and the ones that did would be materially flawed.

    ...meanwhile, I honestly don't care if you continue having your husband post threads for you...but you're going to have trouble guiding the discussion to where you want it to go in absentia...

    ...oh, and your employment status and number of children seems irrelevant to me.

    --signed the guy w/ four children and a demanding profession


    PS: My advice is for you to make a new thread in the forums and watch the magic of the MFP motivations and supports unfold before your very eyes. This particular thread, however, understandably went in a completely different direction.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    I also think since she isnt so fat...

    You didn't.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Wow, OP is punching above his weight... :drinker:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    In OP's defense (or OP's wife's defense), she didn't receive much of a response to her first post here (two years ago): http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/448762-introduction-advice

    Maybe we can rewind and give her the guidance for which she's looking.

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