"You're beautiful, you don't need to watch calories."

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  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    It seems to me that lately the "fat acceptance" thing is swinging a little too far the other way, and all of the sudden people are slamming skinny people left and right. If I hear "real women have CURVES" one more time I'm going to scream! We should be accepting of ALL body types. The main goal should really be health anyway.

    THIS! :drinker:
    [/quote]

    cant believe this even needs to be said but cheers.

    :drinker:


    *recalls driving all the way to brooks brothers yesterday to purchase a seersucker to be told they have nothing for people as skinny as me*:grumble:


    America! your getting pretty bad when the UK isn't importing size 28" pants immediately prior to a major sale!~! :sad:
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    If you're in maintenance, you realize that diligence will be a mainstay. That said, you also realize that comments of this nature are common and if you want them to stop or at least lessen, then certain acts on your part will have to take place.

    For instance....
    Three times in the last week people have noticed me logging food on my phone at a restaurant or on a plane.

    If you need to log food, why do it when people are around you and they actually know you are logging food? Why not do it in private?
    Yesterday I was recommending this awesome carrot cake to my mother-in-law and mentioned that I always split it with my husband because it has literally half the calories I get for the day.

    Why would you have to say something like that out loud? Just recommend the awesome carrot cake. Why tell her how much of it you ate?
    :noway:

    I log in-front of people all the time too brah?

    You got a problem with making people feel guilty when they are about to divulge in filthy carbs?!
  • RowanJ13
    RowanJ13 Posts: 26
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    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.
    Totally agree ^^^
    I'm 5'6 and 120 pounds and I'm called "skinny". I'm not skinny, I'm healthy! :noway:

    Agreed! When I mentioned to my 12 year old son the girls in his school loked a little heavy he told me "they all look like that" and sadly they do, and it is the norm and not healthy :(

    Why point out to your son that the girls in his school are heavy?
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.
    Totally agree ^^^
    I'm 5'6 and 120 pounds and I'm called "skinny". I'm not skinny, I'm healthy! :noway:

    Agreed! When I mentioned to my 12 year old son the girls in his school loked a little heavy he told me "they all look like that" and sadly they do, and it is the norm and not healthy :(

    Why point out to your son that the girls in his school are heavy?

    so he knows not to chase the skirts there?

    #getwithit
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    Saw this on facebook, thought I'd share.




    tellmeeateverythinginmoderation_zps5a8983d6.jpg
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,302 Member
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    I must be in the minority since no one asks me what I'm doing on my phone. OP you are possibly a statistical anomaly. 3 x's in a week is quite a feat. Best of luck with those strangers lurking over your shoulder.
  • SmaugHugs
    SmaugHugs Posts: 60 Member
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    Watching my calories drives my boyfriend crazy as he thinks it means that is all I am watching... so I have to remind him every once in awhile that I am also tracking fat, sugar, sodium, carbs etc, I just tend to say calories as sometimes I get surprised by the amount in some food items.

    I fully intend to watch my calories from here on out, I never want to be in the pit of self loathing again!
  • pipertargaryen
    pipertargaryen Posts: 303 Member
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    I didn't want to weigh in (pun? Maybe) this thread, but seriously:

    Someone slamming skinny people, saying 'real women have curves' and so on - that's *not* fat acceptance.
    Fat acceptance is not treating overweight people like second-class citizens, because their weight is none of your f*cking business. Same as a thin person's weight is none of your business. People who shame thin folks are crappy.

    I dealt with fat-shaming, hardcore, this past year of my life when I ballooned to a size 18 (mainly through alcohol abuse and severe depression). Back in the Victorian (I think? Perhaps Rennaissance? Not sure at the moment) era, some chunk was the ideal. The thin were considered sickly. Because of that judgement and overall garbage treatment - thin-acceptance would have been a (needed) movement.

    The past several decades? Oh. trust me, socially - being overweight has been 150% more difficult than being thin.

    I'm working towards being a healthy weight, have lost near 40lbs, and am planning on losing another 37ish. I'm not all about being fat, or accepting fat, or embracing fat. I also would never, ever judge a thin woman (or man!) because of their size/weight/whatever. However, I *am* about not reducing someone's personality, goals, accomplishments, and impact to the number on the scale, or their body fat percentage.

    (So off-topic, so sorry. As far as the OP goes - if tracking is why you look so fantastic - and I hope that's going to be the case for me someday soon - people should mind their own business!)
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    The past several decades? Oh. trust me, socially - being overweight has been 150% more difficult than being thin.

    When it comes down to it, people should be accepted by their character - and that alone.

    OP, after investigating your initial post I must say...that is a bit much to be called out about logging... I log in front of people and friends allll the time - not to actually make them feel bad, but to do it before I forgot anything... but I have 1/100 ppl say something... and then again its usually just asking how the app works.

    BTW.. Happy Monday MFP friends! :wink:
  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
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    I must be in the minority since no one asks me what I'm doing on my phone. OP you are possibly a statistical anomaly. 3 x's in a week is quite a feat. Best of luck with those strangers lurking over your shoulder.

    Yeah, that's kinda weird. I log on my phone all the time and nobody asks me what I'm doing. They probably assume I'm sending a text or playing a game or checking email or whatever... how would they know I'm looking at porn? I mean, "logging meals"?
  • blue696
    blue696 Posts: 94 Member
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    I agree. People say that all the time, but it really is important, and people also don't realize how hard you work for your figure and body.
  • ceajay
    ceajay Posts: 1
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    Keep working hard :)
  • fr053n
    fr053n Posts: 2,793 Member
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    Some people just don't think about how they look and what they eat until it becomes a problem (e.g. they don't fit into their clothes anymore). Then they decide to go on a diet. I've had people tell me that tracking my calories is obsessive behavior and that they are glad that they don't need to worry about having to do that. They simply lose weight when they gain a couple pounds too much.
  • Hell_Flower
    Hell_Flower Posts: 348 Member
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    I know you posted this topic a few days ago, but I had to give it an AMEN!

    Me too! :bigsmile:

    And also, my two cents and to the person who said they called "obsessive" because they count calories. I get the same.

    But ya know what - the vast majority of people are ignorant as to how many calories are actually in food. There's a program in the UK called "Secret Eaters" and people cannot work out how they are putting on 90lbs in a year. Then they track what they actually DO eat and realise - f**k, they ate 700 calories in a day from snacks. Or added 500 calories to a meal by including fries.

    It's sure as hell not obsessive. It's awareness. I think that's what people don't understand. There is a line between the two and it can get pretty fine, but I think if people actually were aware, they wouldn't be so quick to judge.
  • _karyn_
    _karyn_ Posts: 11 Member
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    I HATE that. When I've mentioned working out or watching what I eat I always get "You don't need to work out! You're already skinny!" My mood depends on how I respond to this. I was in a really foul mood one day, had a headache and just didn't feel good. Mentioned I'd probably end up doing double to make up for not working out that day and I got the lovely response of "Why do you need to exercise? You're already skinny!" and I snapped at them and said "I do it so I don't end up looking like you." It was rude, I know, but so were they. I hate that while our society is trying to make bigger people feel good about themselves, those of us who work hard to maintain a certain weight and feel good about ourselves inside and out are treated rudely, as if it's okay to tell a thin person she "looks anorexic" or "should eat a burger!" because thin people don't have feelings or anything.
  • fr053n
    fr053n Posts: 2,793 Member
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    I have seen that show! It's pretty entertaining! And yes, I think, as long as you are being healthy, it doesn't matter how you do it. If some people need to count their calories to keep their weight on track, they should not be criticised for it. Not everyone is blessed with the ability to "listen to their body" and eat the proper nutrition by eating what their body "needs".
  • emmanap91
    emmanap91 Posts: 300 Member
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    OP, that reminds me of earlier this week: I was at Popeye's getting fried chicken with my boyfriend (yes, it fit my daily calories), and the cashier was listing their fountain drinks. When she got to the diet soda, she said, "Diet coke, which you certainly don't need."

    I appreciate the compliment, but how do you think I'm getting/staying thin? It is precisely by watching what I eat and drink!
    (I don't like diet soda, so I didn't have to contradict her anyway)

    I wish we could send a message to the world: "Hey, most people above 18-22 have to actually pay attention to what we eat in order to remain fit! It does NOT come naturally to the majority of the human race!"

    [I used to think it came naturally to most fit people, and that was part of my excuse not to try to get fit - I assumed my body just didn't work that way, I thought I had a naturally soft body-type.]
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.

    I assume you're being hyperbolic on the whole "EVERYONE" front, but otherwise I totally agree.

    We have a very, very distorted view of the human body here in the States, in general. Lots of people who are technically overweight aren't considered so because they don't look so in comparison to the legions of really fat and obese people.

    One of the reasons Americans typically scoff at the suggested weight ranges on the old height/weight charts is because legions of us are totally out of touch with what a "normal", non-overweight body weighed for the average person before the last 2 or 3 decades.

    Unless you're an outlier with a ton of muscle, I think most people losing weight actually have goal weights that will leave the potentially still carrying too much excess fat.
  • lavendah
    lavendah Posts: 126 Member
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    People really take this 'self acceptance' bs to a whole another level,and it seems totally non-sensical.
    It only makes sense when someone is killing themselves over something they have no control over/are not responsible for/cannot change.

    True that many people don't need to count calories to maintain their weight,but if someone does feel the need to do so,ain't nothing wrong with that.

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