"I knew you'd lose weight and leave me."

Athena53

Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

Sometimes, when you conclude that human beings weren't meant to live with the abuse or neglect the other person is dishing out, and they won't change, divorce is the answer. Without it, I'd be broke, crazy and maybe still living with my first husband (although he drank himself to death in 2010 so maybe not). Instead, I'm embarking on a happy retirement with the dear man I married 11 years ago.

To the OP: good for you for finding the good man you deserve. I suspect that all long the reason your Ex was so unsupportive was that he didn't want you to succeed. You don't need that.

MyChocolateDiet

I married my ex-wife when she was significantly overweight, constantly complimented her and supported her eventual weight loss, and she still changed so much for the worse after the weight came off and the attention came from others that the marriage ended.

Maybe if I hadn't been so complimentary all the time, she wouldn't have gotten used to it and gotten her head swelled by the compliments of others. Who knows. One thing's for sure, with women, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I agree. I tell my wife all the time how ugly and fat she is and everything is perfect for us.

On a different topic, how do I get me wife to stop taking a dump on my forehead while I sleep?

I can't stop laughing at this gif in this context. Oh my haylarious!

DWBalboa

Those words came from someone who said, "I'm no longer sexually attracted to you since you've gained weight."
Those words came from someone who never told me I was beautiful.
Those words came from someone who never thanked me and took all for granted.
Those words came from someone who NEVER cheered me on during my weightloss journey.
Those words came from my, now ex, husband.

It sounds like this guy was a loser from the get go and you should have never been with him in the first place.
Glad to hear that you didn't continue to stand for it and moved on, he was a toxic person.

sassyjae21

lol just no

odusgolp

GRRRRL POWERRRR

Cliffs notes of the thread: Women deserve lavish praise whether fat, fit, or anywhere in between, and reserve the right to completely turn into egocentric twits as soon as some other male throws her attention.

If I loved you when you were fat, loved you when you were losing, loved you when you were fit, and you still prefer the attention of other men to my loyalty, the problem isn't me, it's you.

Meet you in the loony bin...

MyChocolateDiet

Ya know what? This is a bad thread to derail.


OP, I am very happy for you that you got rid of a negative influence in your life and have moved on to someone more loving.

+1

chele1028

Good for you OP! I deal with some of those points. It is our 20th anniversary today and I think he forgot. It is like we are more roommates than anything anymore. How great it would be to hear I am beautiful and such. Live and learn. Glad you had the courage though! Best wishes to you!

sw33tp3a11

Freaken amazing!!!!!! Every one deserves to be with someone who motivates them, cherish them, make them feel wanted and needed. I'm glad you ended up with someone that gives you that. You're awesome!!!!

MyChocolateDiet

I wonder how much support this would be getting if the genders were reversed?? Just saying

I'm not sure if you know this but you just stole someone else's thunder real hard right now.

Well played! :drinker:

Zaftique

GRRRRL POWERRRR

Cliffs notes of the thread: Women deserve lavish praise whether fat, fit, or anywhere in between, and reserve the right to completely turn into egocentric twits as soon as some other male throws her attention.

If I loved you when you were fat, loved you when you were losing, loved you when you were fit, and you still prefer the attention of other men to my loyalty, the problem isn't me, it's you.

I married my ex-wife when she was significantly overweight, constantly complimented her and supported her eventual weight loss, and she still changed so much for the worse after the weight came off and the attention came from others that the marriage ended.

Maybe if I hadn't been so complimentary all the time, she wouldn't have gotten used to it and gotten her head swelled by the compliments of others. Who knows. One thing's for sure, with women, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Yay, a bitter!

I know, right, too bad he didn't know how to keep her in her place!

Ah, the top quote.

Given that you now think that you overcomplimented her and unreasonably increased her self-esteem, can you tell me how you really loved her when she was fat? I'd like to know more about what exactly she owed you for your loyalty. Just sex or more than that?

I can't imagine how foolish she must have been to let a prize like you get away. Must be that you're a nice guy and women only want *kitten*.

rbrooks14760

This thread reminds me of that south park episode where they're on Springer and the woman's husband is disabled and all the trash in the audience is screaming that she needs to kick him to the curb. I'm aware there's some pretty ****ty guys out there, but there's some pretty ****ty women, and they ALL think they're a catch too.

OnTheWayToPerfection

Thank you everyone for your support! It is embarrassing saying that I'm divorced, but at the same time no one knows the extent of the situation. I never said it was all him. There were problematic attributes on both sides. Just because I put a few quotes of what was said didn't mean that was ALL.
We wanted completely different things out if life and were two completely different people.
I'm just happy that I'm no longer "settled" but sharing my loves and passions for life with someone who wants the same.
Just that alone makes everything worth it.

And she's a woman.
Go ahead and pick me apart some more
But I've found the meaning of happiness, love, peace and so much more.
People say they are happy, but to feel happiness every day... just enjoy life and find one who enjoys it the same way you do

pleasurelittletreasure

Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

The advice could also be for someone who is just starting to date. If it isn't a nurturing relationship, that is the time to get out.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

OP: I'm glad you are happy. :flowerforyou:

The_Enginerd

I married my ex-wife when she was significantly overweight, constantly complimented her and supported her eventual weight loss, and she still changed so much for the worse after the weight came off and the attention came from others that the marriage ended.

Maybe if I hadn't been so complimentary all the time, she wouldn't have gotten used to it and gotten her head swelled by the compliments of others. Who knows. One thing's for sure, with women, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I agree. I tell my wife all the time how ugly and fat she is and everything is perfect for us.

On a different topic, how do I get me wife to stop taking a dump on my forehead while I sleep?

You can't stop her. Just get rid of her and send her to someone who appreciates that. Like me.

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish

Hey I know! Let's all put our opinions here on a relationship we know nothing about except for a short presentation made by one side of the relationship and support it or trash it based on our own biases! Then we can attack the opinions that others made up in their heads about the relationship because they don't match ours!

Glad you lost weight and are happy OP. Sorry you posted a statement of betrayal from your ex-spouse, sounds like there are still issues there about it, hope you find someone else to talk to about it other than random cheerleaders and detractors that don't know or care anything about you or him or your relationship.

bizgirl26

Don't let anyone bust your bubble. You are happy and should be proud you moved on rather than suffered with a bad relationship

Unknown

This content has been removed.

JohnMatrix

His loss.

sassyjae21

Thank you everyone for your support! It is embarrassing saying that I'm divorced, but at the same time no one knows the extent of the situation. I never said it was all him. There were problematic attributes on both sides. Just because I put a few quotes of what was said didn't mean that was ALL.
We wanted completely different things out if life and were two completely different people.
I'm just happy that I'm no longer "settled" but sharing my loves and passions for life with someone who wants the same.
Just that alone makes everything worth it.

And she's a woman.
Go ahead and pick me apart some more
But I've found the meaning of happiness, love, peace and so much more.
People say they are happy, but to feel happiness every day... just enjoy life and find one who enjoys it the same way you do

Ahh...the plot thickens!!

Whatever, OP. I'm happy you're happy. :flowerforyou:

rbrooks14760

Thank you everyone for your support! It is embarrassing saying that I'm divorced, but at the same time no one knows the extent of the situation. I never said it was all him. There were problematic attributes on both sides. Just because I put a few quotes of what was said didn't mean that was ALL.
We wanted completely different things out if life and were two completely different people.
I'm just happy that I'm no longer "settled" but sharing my loves and passions for life with someone who wants the same.
Just that alone makes everything worth it.

And she's a woman.
Go ahead and pick me apart some more
But I've found the meaning of happiness, love, peace and so much more.
People say they are happy, but to feel happiness every day... just enjoy life and find one who enjoys it the same way you do

Good for you. Judging by the outcome, there's no man that would make you happy anyway; Sounds like your issues were multi-faceted.

rbrooks14760

I was just talking about my general experience, nothing directed at the OP in the slightest. More the Ya-Ya Sisterhood that ran in here sounding like the audience at a Springer show.

Hey I know! Let's all put our opinions here on a relationship we know nothing about except for a short presentation made by one side of the relationship and support it or trash it based on our own biases! Then we can attack the opinions that others made up in their heads about the relationship because they don't match ours!

Glad you lost weight and are happy OP. Sorry you posted a statement of betrayal from your ex-spouse, sounds like there are still issues there about it, hope you find someone else to talk to about it other than random cheerleaders and detractors that don't know or care anything about you or him or your relationship.

CJisinShape

Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

Sometimes, when you conclude that human beings weren't meant to live with the abuse or neglect the other person is dishing out, and they won't change, divorce is the answer. Without it, I'd be broke, crazy and maybe still living with my first husband (although he drank himself to death in 2010 so maybe not). Instead, I'm embarking on a happy retirement with the dear man I married 11 years ago.

To the OP: good for you for finding the good man you deserve. I suspect that all long the reason your Ex was so unsupportive was that he didn't want you to succeed. You don't need that.

Like I said earlier, I don't criticize people for getting divorced. Relationships are hard. My issue was the message sounded like "I did and so can you!" People, at various times, advocated for my marriage when we were fed up with each other. I read somewhere that a bad marriage and a good marriage are often the same marriage at different points in time. Sometimes people need to give their marriage some time and give that time some time. That's all.

odusgolp

This thread reminds me of that south park episode where they're on Springer and the woman's husband is disabled and all the trash in the audience is screaming that she needs to kick him to the curb. I'm aware there's some pretty ****ty guys out there, but there's some pretty ****ty women, and they ALL think they're a catch too.

Clearly... your issues aren't multi-faceted, just the OP's.

Val_from_OH

And she's a woman.

Oh my! I've got girlfriends who cheer me on through thick & thin and support me whether I deserve it or not - that's what girlfriends are for! Doesn't mean I'm gonna leave my hubby for them... just sayin'.

wheird

Plot twist no jutsu!

randomtai

And she's a woman.

Oh my! I've got girlfriends who cheer me on through thick & thin and support me whether I deserve it or not - that's what girlfriends are for! Doesn't mean I'm gonna leave my hubby for them... just sayin'.

This is a pretty ignorant statement. :noway:

doorki

Thank you everyone for your support! It is embarrassing saying that I'm divorced, but at the same time no one knows the extent of the situation. I never said it was all him. There were problematic attributes on both sides. Just because I put a few quotes of what was said didn't mean that was ALL.
We wanted completely different things out if life and were two completely different people.
I'm just happy that I'm no longer "settled" but sharing my loves and passions for life with someone who wants the same.
Just that alone makes everything worth it.

And she's a woman.
Go ahead and pick me apart some more
But I've found the meaning of happiness, love, peace and so much more.
People say they are happy, but to feel happiness every day... just enjoy life and find one who enjoys it the same way you do

Ahh...the plot thickens!!

Whatever, OP. I'm happy you're happy. :flowerforyou:

Not just the plot...giggity...

OnTheWayToPerfection

And she's a woman.

Oh my! I've got girlfriends who cheer me on through thick & thin and support me whether I deserve it or not - that's what girlfriends are for! Doesn't mean I'm gonna leave my hubby for them... just sayin'.

I left him then found her. There was no leaving for someone else.

You people are the plot twisters....

sassyjae21