Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.

ninerbuff

I've heard lots of people say "If I only lost this weight, I know I would be happy!"

Doesn't always work for everyone though. I had an assessment with a gentleman today who had gastric bypass. In a year's time he lost 140lbs (from 380lbs). His thought was that if he lost the weight, life would be so much easier.
Today he told me he's depressed, he tired all the time, he can't stand that he can't eat what he likes and has literally no strength due to the fast weight loss catabolizing his muscle. When I held his arm, I basically almost felt nothing but loose skin and bone. He said even though he was 380lbs, at least he could still work in his muffler shop, lift things and ride his motorcycle. He doesn't do any of that now.
My work is cut out for me as I will do what I can to get some muscle and strength back on him and see if I can encourage higher calorie intake for him.

Point is that if one thinks that being leaner and smaller is all it's gonna take to make one happy, that always isn't the case. For some, it comes at a price especially when trying to lose weight TOO FAST.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Alatariel75

:flowerforyou: :drinker:

Absolutely! What's the point of being "skinny" if you feel horrible, tired, hungry, resentful and still don't like how you look because now you're flabby and have no muscle tone?

Quarkles

I dunno, if I had to live off of the tiny amount of food that people with gastric bypass are supposed to eat, I'd be pretty miserable too.
However, I've found that exercising more has definitely helped with my depression, and hopefully it will keep it away.

Ready2Rock206

I read an interesting article along this line the other day. Gal hated her body big, lost the weight and had a bunch of loose skin, was still miserable and hating her body. Losing weight doesn't fix the mental aspects of liking yourself or whatever other issues one may have. Compound that with what OP described and yeah - that's a disaster all the way around....

shaynepoole

Each person is different, but one thing I do agree with... losing weight does not lead to instant happiness... It's kind of like some people think that once they lose weight, all of their problems will magically disappear - and I want to mother bear them all and tell them that it doesn't quite work that way... not that everyone will listen though... and a little piece of me aches when I hear people say "I want to lose weight and be happy" - but what can you do, really?

likefershur

This is such an amazing little entry and reminder. You're totally right. 'Feeling' healthy is what should grant happiness, not the number of the scale. Poor guy. I empathize. :c

Aaron_K123

People equate lower numbers on the scale with better health which can cause so many problems. See it all the times on the forums, scale-obsessed people eating 1200 or fewer calories a day.

Madame_Goldbricker

So is he only considering working out now? Did he just lose the weight purely through the calorie deficit caused by the gastric band?

I don't know that much about the procedure but when its a choice between it or someone running a high risk of weight related death. I can totally get why they'd do it.

However I would have assumed they would be clearly made aware of the repercussions i.e rapid weight loss possibly leading to excess loose skin, severe loss of muscle, stomach complaints, fatigue, and other related issues. Are they not advised to incorporate strength training/cardio/nutritional supplements and undergo psychological support?

Genuine questions btw as I really wouldn't know.

GreatDepression

Thanks for sharing this story. It's a real issue that many of us face in our weight loss journey yet don't open to share because it goes against the groove.

MagdaSea

I think that this is something which occurs when uninformed people manage to lose weight. They don't anticipate the motivational lows for one. Just because I'm fairly in shape doesn't mean there aren't days I can't bring myself to go to the gym or I'm unhappy with what I'm seeing in the mirror.

Iwishyouwell

While this can be the case, absolutely, I don't think using the example of someone who got weight loss surgery and just went from morbidly obese to still obese is the best example to uphold here as a cautionary tale.

SezxyStef

No it does not.

I am watching a couple people now who have had weight loss surgery...they are not happy.

they are weak, lethargic as well.

One of them has been obese her entire life and not that I have seen her without clothes I can surmise what I would see...her weight loss has been drastic as well.

The funny thing about happiness is this...only you can make yourself happy...external factors can aid in that but in reality weight loss, money, partner etc does not make you happy. That is an internal thing.

Good luck with your client I do hope he gets feeling better...and I hope others read this and take it as a warning against these drastic measures...

Iwishyouwell

The funny thing about happiness is this...only you can make yourself happy...external factors can aid in that but in reality weight loss, money, partner etc does not make you happy. That is an internal thing.

So true.

But those aids, if well employed, sure can help. I know that being slimmer has definitely had a profoundly positive effect on my life, and continues to the lower I go. But you have to allow the changes to affect you positively, or they won't do much to aid you in an overall greater sense of well being.

misscem94

I agree. I know of someone who lost five stone, but wasn't happy, thus putting most of it back on. Somebody else has lost 6 stone, but still thinks she's ugly and fat.

JeniSue28

Loosing weight won't make one happy. Nothing can make you happy but yourself. If you don't like yourself and how you look you aren't going to be comfortable and won't be happy. It's all about excepting and liking yourself for who you are. Just like until you decided you are loosing the weight for yourself you won't loose it, long term.

dpdora13

Good day
Probably people with gastric by pass face many problems, but I still insist that "nothing tastes better than being thin". The problem according my opinion is that in the proccess of a gastric by pass the patient is not the decisive person. The weight loss is a result of a surgery and not a result of a strong decision. The person that decides and perform a weight loss, earns self confidence except weight loss. He fells again strong and determined. By forcing somebody to loss weight the problem of underestimate yourself still exists and probably became bigger. Also we must count on the negatives that the patient cannot react as in the past, i.e. eating comfort food, so he fells an empty space in the stomach and in the head. I agree that in some cases of health problems gastic by pass in a life solution, but it needs very very careful preparations with doctors and phycologists.

gelendestrasse

The exercise will release endorphins that will lift your mood as well as build muscle. But I seriously recommend the guy get back on the bike as soon as he can, Maybe get something smaller. A good ride on a bike is one of the best ways to clear the mind that I know.

gypsy_spirit

For me losing weight slowly is helping my brain catch up with the changes. Even losing it slowly is a guarantee that you will be happy when you are at your goal. I've always been a happy person, regardless of my weight. I think it has a lot to do with your general attitude about life.

There is no doubt that physically I feel much better, but happiness is a separate entity.

jensiegel39

I agree. Nothing leads to instant happiness. However, as someone else said, the endorphins I gain through exercise every day improve my mood significantly. I suffer from depression (or used to) and I find that although sometimes I have a low mood or feel irritated, exercise really helps. I also find it quite meditative. I also feel better about myself. Proud of myself. But no, I'm not ecstatic or anything all the time.

jensiegel39

I agree about the bike riding. It's my favorite exercise. I find it so peaceful and feel great that I'm able to clear my mind, spend some time alone, and get a good workout in. In fact, I'm off for a morning ride right now!

amwbox

To be clear...when losing 3 figures worth of weight. fast or slow, there is going to be excess skin. Contrary to myth, skin does not magically resorb itself. How could it?

jessilee119

I agree. I read another similar article too written in first person from a woman who had the surgery. She agreed that she thought it would change things, but the surgery didn't fix what was going on with her mentally and emotionally so when she looked in the mirror she still saw the same person she was before the surgery.

At time I find myself thinking that I wish I was the same weight I was 10 years ago and that if I was still that weight I would feel so much better about myself. Then I remember that when I was younger I still had self esteem issues even when I was a healthy weight. I have learned a lot since then and, though I still deal with self esteem issues, I try not to let my inner demons destroy me. I'm learning to look beyond my physical appearance because I am happy and I have a lot to be thankful for.

cincysweetheart

Happiness is a choice. If you are unhappy at 350 pounds… you'll be unhappy at 150 pounds (just throwing out numbers here!). And vice versa. If you're happy at 350 pounds, you'll be happy at 150 pounds. Don't get me wrong… there are many benefits to losing weight, exercising, and eating healthy. But happiness is available for anyone who chooses it…. regardless of the number on the scale… and regardless of muscle tone or loose skin.

Therealobi1

I dont think I understand the concept of being happier after weight loss. You can be happy large or small, I think its up to ourselves some how to get to the right frame of mind regardless of size. (not saying its easy though)

Iwishyouwell

I dont think I understand the concept of being happier after weight loss. You can be happy large or small, I think its up to ourselves some how to get to the right frame of mind regardless of size. (not saying its easy though)

I do.

When I first became aware that I was fat, in the 6th grade, it felt wrong. I wasn't picked on, bullied, or verbally abused at home. I was never pressured to lose weight. Yet being fat felt like a violation. I hated every single moment of it.

Slimming down definitely aided considerably in upping my personal sense of well being, and confidence, which lead to greater happiness. Why? Because I am not, and never will be, a person who feels comfortable in a fat body. It doesn't feel like "me" whatsoever. It distorts my sense of self perception, and makes me look alien to how I feel inside.

God bless the people who can feel "happy" about their appearance regardless of their size. It just ain't me. Being fat didn't make me an unhappy person, but being slimmer definitely helped make me a happier one.

dfranch

It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

Unknown

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DebbieLyn63

Happiness is a choice. If you are unhappy at 350 pounds… you'll be unhappy at 150 pounds (just throwing out numbers here!). And vice versa. If you're happy at 350 pounds, you'll be happy at 150 pounds. Don't get me wrong… there are many benefits to losing weight, exercising, and eating healthy. But happiness is available for anyone who chooses it…. regardless of the number on the scale… and regardless of muscle tone or loose skin.

^^This.

Happiness IS a choice. It comes from how you deal with your current situation. Many people who become morbidly obese, have many mental and emotional issues that probably contributed to their obesity. If they do not address those issues, then weight loss alone will not fix them.
A reputable weight loss clinic requires a lot of counseling before and after for their clients.

I personally would not choose to have the surgery, but if I was 200 lbs overweight and my life was in danger, I definitely would consider it.

I have known a few people who have had the surgery. The ones who are successful and happy AFTER the surgery, are the ones who were happy BEFORE the surgery.

DelilaLightfoot

Do you think the problem is more to do with how he lost weight rather than the actual weight loss itself? I am far from very knowledgable on this so please excuse any ignorance on my part but I would assume that someone having a gastric band may not always have the same outlook in the first place or along the journey vs someone who challenges themselves to lose the weight through diet and exercise alone over a longer period of time? The sense of achievement, change in overall lifestyle, the healthier "buzz" from exercising (no matter how minor that is to start) surely all adds to a sense of well-being which you may not achieve when having surgery and losing weight forcibly and so quickly? I hope for me at least that by the time I have lost the weight that I need to that I will by then have changed my entire outlook towards food and exercise so that I don't feel that I am going to live a life of misery and deprivation - isn't it ultimately about reconditioning what you perceive to be living a full and satisfying life? I know for me that eating what I want hasn't really made me happy so far.

Branstin

I know several people who have had either GB or lap band and none of them are happy. All of them are still struggling with food surpluses.

Capt_Apollo

anything done without a bigger reason can be very pointless.

i know people that pursue advanced degrees because it's what their parents want, or it's what society says you're supposed to do, or because you think it'll lead to a higher paying job. but if it's not something that you're happy doing, then you won't be happy when it's done.