Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.

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  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
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    I agree. I read another similar article too written in first person from a woman who had the surgery. She agreed that she thought it would change things, but the surgery didn't fix what was going on with her mentally and emotionally so when she looked in the mirror she still saw the same person she was before the surgery.

    At time I find myself thinking that I wish I was the same weight I was 10 years ago and that if I was still that weight I would feel so much better about myself. Then I remember that when I was younger I still had self esteem issues even when I was a healthy weight. I have learned a lot since then and, though I still deal with self esteem issues, I try not to let my inner demons destroy me. I'm learning to look beyond my physical appearance because I am happy and I have a lot to be thankful for.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
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    Happiness is a choice. If you are unhappy at 350 pounds… you'll be unhappy at 150 pounds (just throwing out numbers here!). And vice versa. If you're happy at 350 pounds, you'll be happy at 150 pounds. Don't get me wrong… there are many benefits to losing weight, exercising, and eating healthy. But happiness is available for anyone who chooses it…. regardless of the number on the scale… and regardless of muscle tone or loose skin.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    I dont think I understand the concept of being happier after weight loss. You can be happy large or small, I think its up to ourselves some how to get to the right frame of mind regardless of size. (not saying its easy though)
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    I dont think I understand the concept of being happier after weight loss. You can be happy large or small, I think its up to ourselves some how to get to the right frame of mind regardless of size. (not saying its easy though)

    I do.

    When I first became aware that I was fat, in the 6th grade, it felt wrong. I wasn't picked on, bullied, or verbally abused at home. I was never pressured to lose weight. Yet being fat felt like a violation. I hated every single moment of it.

    Slimming down definitely aided considerably in upping my personal sense of well being, and confidence, which lead to greater happiness. Why? Because I am not, and never will be, a person who feels comfortable in a fat body. It doesn't feel like "me" whatsoever. It distorts my sense of self perception, and makes me look alien to how I feel inside.

    God bless the people who can feel "happy" about their appearance regardless of their size. It just ain't me. Being fat didn't make me an unhappy person, but being slimmer definitely helped make me a happier one.
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
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    It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    Happiness is a choice. If you are unhappy at 350 pounds… you'll be unhappy at 150 pounds (just throwing out numbers here!). And vice versa. If you're happy at 350 pounds, you'll be happy at 150 pounds. Don't get me wrong… there are many benefits to losing weight, exercising, and eating healthy. But happiness is available for anyone who chooses it…. regardless of the number on the scale… and regardless of muscle tone or loose skin.

    ^^This.

    Happiness IS a choice. It comes from how you deal with your current situation. Many people who become morbidly obese, have many mental and emotional issues that probably contributed to their obesity. If they do not address those issues, then weight loss alone will not fix them.
    A reputable weight loss clinic requires a lot of counseling before and after for their clients.

    I personally would not choose to have the surgery, but if I was 200 lbs overweight and my life was in danger, I definitely would consider it.

    I have known a few people who have had the surgery. The ones who are successful and happy AFTER the surgery, are the ones who were happy BEFORE the surgery.
  • DelilaLightfoot
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    Do you think the problem is more to do with how he lost weight rather than the actual weight loss itself? I am far from very knowledgable on this so please excuse any ignorance on my part but I would assume that someone having a gastric band may not always have the same outlook in the first place or along the journey vs someone who challenges themselves to lose the weight through diet and exercise alone over a longer period of time? The sense of achievement, change in overall lifestyle, the healthier "buzz" from exercising (no matter how minor that is to start) surely all adds to a sense of well-being which you may not achieve when having surgery and losing weight forcibly and so quickly? I hope for me at least that by the time I have lost the weight that I need to that I will by then have changed my entire outlook towards food and exercise so that I don't feel that I am going to live a life of misery and deprivation - isn't it ultimately about reconditioning what you perceive to be living a full and satisfying life? I know for me that eating what I want hasn't really made me happy so far.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    I know several people who have had either GB or lap band and none of them are happy. All of them are still struggling with food surpluses.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    anything done without a bigger reason can be very pointless.

    i know people that pursue advanced degrees because it's what their parents want, or it's what society says you're supposed to do, or because you think it'll lead to a higher paying job. but if it's not something that you're happy doing, then you won't be happy when it's done.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    So is he only considering working out now? Did he just lose the weight purely through the calorie deficit caused by the gastric band?

    I don't know that much about the procedure but when its a choice between it or someone running a high risk of weight related death. I can totally get why they'd do it.

    However I would have assumed they would be clearly made aware of the repercussions i.e rapid weight loss possibly leading to excess loose skin, severe loss of muscle, stomach complaints, fatigue, and other related issues. Are they not advised to incorporate strength training/cardio/nutritional supplements and undergo psychological support?

    Genuine questions btw as I really wouldn't know.
    With every procedure a patient signs off on possible repercussions and scenarios that may happen after surgery. I'm more than sure that many of them took it quite seriously since the actually surgery itself can be life threatening due to not waking up and complication of sustaining them during anesthesia.
    This particular gentleman went through the after program, but struggled because also at that time, he decided to have knee surgery (complete knee replacement) which hampered him from trying to physically get around. Combine the surgery with rapid weight loss and I can see how he dreaded wanted to move around as he was getting weaker.
    I believe I can truly help him and create a confidence that he needs to get back his life back in a better way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    anything done without a bigger reason can be very pointless.

    i know people that pursue advanced degrees because it's what their parents want, or it's what society says you're supposed to do, or because you think it'll lead to a higher paying job. but if it's not something that you're happy doing, then you won't be happy when it's done.

    ^^Totally this.

    I guess for some people their excess weight is the most visible manifestation of what makes them different, so they figure if they fix that they'll feel more comfortable/happy in themselves. The bigger reason thing is so important both to get you there and to keep you whole as a person.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    While this can be the case, absolutely, I don't think using the example of someone who got weight loss surgery and just went from morbidly obese to still obese is the best example to uphold here as a cautionary tale.
    I should have stated his height. He's 6'5". At 240, he's hardly obese anymore. And most of the excess weight seems to be loose skin.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Cycle4Life99
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    Weight loss does not lead to happiness, it leads to physical health. During your weight loss journey you must also look at the underlying causes of your obesity. If you ate due to unhappiness, then the time to address it is while you are on the journey, not afterwards. I learned this lesson the hard way when I lost a lot of weight 13 years ago only to regain it all plus some because I wasn't magically happier or more successful.
  • LucasEVille
    LucasEVille Posts: 567 Member
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    Healthy, sustainable, planned and maintained seems to be the moral here. I'm already 1000x happier and in reality I'm only on the first few steps towards healthy me. I haven't heard all good things about these bypasses and they usually come from a fear of death rather than a conscious decision to be healthy in mind and body.

    Just to clarify I ate because I loved food too much, not because I was unhappy or had a traumatic life etc etc etc. My sole reason was I didn't know restraint until now.
  • Ftw37
    Ftw37 Posts: 386 Member
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    For me, being obese turned out to be a symptom of, rather than a cause of, my general unhappiness.

    When it clicked for me that I was responsible for my own health care, and that I was worth being healthy, then the weight loss started to become a side effect, rather than a goal unto itself.

    Yes, I still count pounds, and the entire weight-loss industry is geared around numbers, pounds, calories and other quantitative results.

    But I now know (and act like) my self-worth is reflected in the way I treat my body.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
    Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.
    I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Antoinette1977
    Antoinette1977 Posts: 1 Member
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    Having had a Gastric Bypass myself a number of years ago, the initial phase of it is extremely draining and tiring as your body is effectively eating itself to survive. I thankfully was not the kind of person who thought that losing weight was the solution to everything. I wouldn't say I even had problems to be unhappy about, I couldn't lose the weight and was extremely lucky at the time to be very healthy.

    However I felt if I didn't ditch the weight this wouldn't continue. I lost over 100lbs and now have more to go, it can kind of hinder the loss after the initial year or so but its a lot easier to exercise now and I am more informed on nutrition etc.

    I do feel a lot of people approaching weight loss weather via surgery or working it off feel that once the weight is gone that all their problems will be solved. I think these are the people who need to sort out the problems in their heads before starting anything.

    I'm perfectly happy in life and the rapid weight loss though tough at the time was a big help for me in persuing other things in life. Hopefully the OP's client will turn around and make the most of what he's gone through and improve
  • elsie0o0
    elsie0o0 Posts: 59 Member
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    I think that to go a total body transformation you also have to work on your mental state. Confidence and self-worth does not come with a set weight. You have to take small steps and like yourself. I think that struggle to accepting yourself can be just as hard as losing weight.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    True, and not just for people with surgical weightloss. Anyone can lose weight and still not feel happy.

    A lot of factors contribute to happiness in your life. Weight is one of them, it can be a big or small one. But it's just one factor. I lost a lot of weight with MFP. But daily life is still the same. You still have pressures at work, you still have family obligations. And now you've added in a regular committment to fitness, which can both make you feel wonderful and totally exhaust you. Did your run time improve? Are you lifting more and with good form? Still got that diet in check? A lot of the time it just feels like I added on a whole new set of pressures in my life.

    But every now and then you get to do something you'd never have been able to do before, and that's a nice feeling. Really that's about it. It's not as life changing as a lot of people think. One thing it's definitely not is a feeling of constant joy and bliss. I worry about people who seem to think that's the case.
    100% agree here. It still takes commitment AFTER one loses weight and some don't do very well after they reach their goal. While they may have attained it through hard work and dedication to reaching it, they may not have that same mentality when they get there. And for some, that's more stressing then just being overweight.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition