Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.

Options
135

Replies

  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    Options
    Being fat didn't make me an unhappy person, but being slimmer definitely helped make me a happier one.

    This. I definitely feel better, more confident and yes, happier now that I am at a normal weight. Granted, I never was obese, but I was overweight and this affected my mood and self-confidence.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
    Options
    For me, being obese turned out to be a symptom of, rather than a cause of, my general unhappiness.

    When it clicked for me that I was responsible for my own health care, and that I was worth being healthy, then the weight loss started to become a side effect, rather than a goal unto itself.

    Yes, I still count pounds, and the entire weight-loss industry is geared around numbers, pounds, calories and other quantitative results.

    But I now know (and act like) my self-worth is reflected in the way I treat my body.

    Whoa.I have to jump in here real quick to say congratulations on your amazing progress. 222 lbs in a year is phenomenal. You truly look like a different person. Good for you for the mental as well as physical transformation.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
    Options
    It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

    I agree -- to me this story is more of a cautionary tale about weight loss surgery than anything else.

    But -- I do think there is an important message here, too. Anyone can lose weight and still feel very unhappy with themselves and it won't dissolve most of life's problems. It can help with many problems and even eliminate some (especially medical issues related to weight). But I believe that too many people have come to view weight loss as a cure-all and it's portrayed in weight loss advertisements as this absolutely magical thing, when it's really not.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Options
    This is what happens when you treat symptoms of problems and not the cause of them. Obesity and weight loss occurs mainly between our ears in the mysterious neural networks of electrochemical impulses that dictate our limbic, endocrine and metabolic systems. Unless the psychosocial causes of obesity are addressed you will forever be chasing symptoms.

    Sure, you can oversimply and say its only a matter of calories in versus calories out. That is important, but we are not robots. We are human with all the messy emotions that goes with it. Its more than understanding human metabolism.

    I had to hoe two rows during my weight loss. One dug into my psyche to cultivate a better self-esteem. The other dug into the fat. In my not-so humble opinion one will only really succeed when they address both emotional and physical issues.

    soapbox.jpg
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Options

    Point is that if one thinks that being leaner and smaller is all it's gonna take to make one happy, that always isn't the case. For some, it comes at a price especially when trying to lose weight TOO FAST.

    This is the BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front) I took from your entire statement.

    However, every situation is unique in itself. Where your client may not be happy because of the loss of strength and production, a good fitness regime and healthy eating will help him regain strength/stability and improve his mental health. All is not lost and although you may have your work cut out for you, this is a job worth doing for your client as you try to develop a strong relationship built on encouragement, trust, and enforcing sustainable healthy habits.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Options

    The funny thing about happiness is this...only you can make yourself happy...external factors can aid in that but in reality weight loss, money, partner etc does not make you happy. That is an internal thing.
    Most of your comments on this I can concurr with but this one I cannot. For many of us the old adiage that only you can make you happy rings true in our heads but there are those with chemical issues that does not equate to the same. It has been shown that lack of fitness leads to depression and chemical embalances do the same. So, in your head you may believe this but science says different.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

    Totally agree with cparter. Saying someone is just too lazy oversimplifies the issue. I _could_ say the issue is complex and that some people are just too lazy to try and understand but again, that would be oversimplifying. I would prefer to not be condescending and unhelpful.
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Options
    Thats why I decided against gastric bypass or the lap band. Everyone I know who has had it done is more sickly now than when they were heavy. I am really glad I have been able to get as far as I have and hopefully even further!! I have learned more with this journey than I ever have and I appreciate it.

    This goes for people who lose weight with natural measures as well, not just surgery. If you restrict or go to extreme measures, it will just creep back. I want this gone for good. People always make fun of me because I am always eating. "Geeeeez you will gain that weight back if you arent careful. You are always shoving food in your mouth!!' What they dont realize is I am shoving in a protein bar, not a cheeseburger ( still do have them, but not NEAR as often). And yes I eat food in front of people now instead of alone in my car!!!!! I like the fact that I will have to change nothing I do once I get to my goal. The way I am living now is how I will live forever and it wont be difficult to do!!!!!
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    Options
    From my experience - people should focus on getting happier before (or during) losing weight.

    Ninerbuff is right, weight loss does not necessarily help you be happier. But I feel very strongly that getting happier will help your weight loss.
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

    Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
    Options
    Thats why I decided against gastric bypass or the lap band. Everyone I know who has had it done is more sickly now than when they were heavy. I am really glad I have been able to get as far as I have and hopefully even further!! I have learned more with this journey than I ever have and I appreciate it.

    ^^^ Exactly
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    Options
    Have been through the exact same conversation with a friend and his wife who both had gastric bypass surgery. They were hoping to save their marriage by losing the weight together, supporting one another, etc. They are still married, but found the same things... they were depressed and miserable for quite some time after the surgery and subsequent extreme weight loss in a small time frame. So, it didn't work to save their marriage and they had even more problems on top of what was already going on. Of course, all that led them to seek counseling together and individually for marriage and weight loss stuff. That's what kept them together... funny how life works like that.

    I've been through the same though I didn't lose a ton of weight all at once. When your body changes and you can look in the mirror seeing a drastically different version of yourself, it can be unnerving! For a time, I thought that I was much happier and more confident when I was 450 lbs. The brain tricks you that way though... I've heard that over time (many years) that you tend to let go of the minor 'bad' stuff and only tend to remember the mostly good stuff. So, I had forgotten how many times in the past when I was that heavy that I was downright miserable. I only remembered the times when I felt good about myself and I compared 'then' to 'now'. Apples to oranges on that comparison. Gotta focus on what's right in front of you some days and take a good dose of personal perspective.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Options
    Happiness truly has to come from within ones self. I'm sure you'll be able to help this man build some muscle and get healthy :-)
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

    Totally agree with cparter. Saying someone is just too lazy oversimplifies the issue. I _could_ say the issue is complex and that some people are just too lazy to try and understand but again, that would be oversimplifying. I would prefer to not be condescending and unhelpful.

    I'm more than willing to help anyone who's willing to put the work in
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    Options

    The funny thing about happiness is this...only you can make yourself happy...external factors can aid in that but in reality weight loss, money, partner etc does not make you happy. That is an internal thing.
    Most of your comments on this I can concurr with but this one I cannot. For many of us the old adiage that only you can make you happy rings true in our heads but there are those with chemical issues that does not equate to the same. It has been shown that lack of fitness leads to depression and chemical embalances do the same. So, in your head you may believe this but science says different.

    This really doesn't change her point. Some people require medication for their depression or other mental disorders. This medication doesn't make people happy, it just helps them not be depressed. It's the same with exercise. Exercise alleviates some of the symptoms of depression, but in itself, it does not make you happy. Although depression = unhappiness, absence of depression =/= happiness. These things (medication, exercise, etc.) just give people the opportunity to be happy. Given that opportunity, it's still an inside job.
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

    Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo

    I started Crossfit when I was 250 pounds ( I am 5'2, so 250 pounds on me is NOT GOOOOOOD!!!! It sucked and it hurt, but I stuck with it and it became a catalyst for the 70 pounds I have lost!!! You totally get what you work for!!!!
  • spirit095
    spirit095 Posts: 1,017 Member
    Options
    You bring up a great point. This is why I think weight loss should be a gradual thing, because (drastic) change can be hard to accept. Also, you have to work on the mind as well, not only focusing on the physical aspects.
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
    Options
    I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

    It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

    Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo

    I started Crossfit when I was 250 pounds ( I am 5'2, so 250 pounds on me is NOT GOOOOOOD!!!! It sucked and it hurt, but I stuck with it and it became a catalyst for the 70 pounds I have lost!!! You totally get what you work for!!!!

    I've got maximum respect for you.It's not easy which is why so many people fail.Good work

Categories