Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.

gmstarr1

I wasn't unhappy when I was obese (still overweight now, just not obese), but I'm happier now. There's a definite sense of accomplishment there...not only because I've lost weight, but because I've became more active...and that sense of accomplishment makes me feel better about myself, which makes me happier. But with surgery I don't think you get that sense of accomplishment. I still have the same problems I always have had...money, jobs, two teenage daughters...those things haven't changed. But what has changed is that I'm happier with myself.

KellySue67

It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

When I see people who've had weight loss surgery or others who have lost weight and then gained it back I have to think that there are other issues at play. People get frustrated because they can't eat the way they used to, so they haven't really dealt with the issue of overeating very well. Most people became overweight because of overeating and not being as active as they should be. You have to be willing to accept that you have to change your lifestyle as a whole if you want to do this by means of surgery or otherwise. If you are not willing to make the adjustments it doesn't really help.

brenn24179

I agree, the same problems are there like with my family but I am a much happier person. It feels great being able to wear my clothes and I gained more confidence,took another job. I also try to find solutions to stuff now rather than eat and this has felt really good not running to food like a drug. Yep, I am overall a much happier person. I guess everyone is different and it may just take this man some time.

SoulOfRusalka

I think what matters is to know yourself. If I feel depressed all the time anyway, and I know that feeling monstrous and ungainly and like my body doesn't fit properly is making that worse, losing weight makes me happy. Getting lighter makes me happy, and eating sensibly makes me feel accomplished instead of restricted. Everyone's different, though, I guess.

stealthq

It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

When I see people who've had weight loss surgery or others who have lost weight and then gained it back I have to think that there are other issues at play. People get frustrated because they can't eat the way they used to, so they haven't really dealt with the issue of overeating very well. Most people became overweight because of overeating and not being as active as they should be. You have to be willing to accept that you have to change your lifestyle as a whole if you want to do this by means of surgery or otherwise. If you are not willing to make the adjustments it doesn't really help.

It isn't just that they haven't dealt with the issue of overeating, and for some it isn't that at all. It's that eating small amounts of food and/or certain types of foods they had no problem with before now makes them sick, or they have horrible heartburn that they didn't have previously, or they have to take a ton of vitamins now because their digestion is poor. And that will never get better.

I know three people who've had weight loss surgery in the past 5 years and none of them has had a good outcome. One nearly died from complications from the surgery. It's such a shame, because while all of them needed to lose a bunch of weight, none were in such poor physical condition that they needed to get the weight off yesterday for health reasons. They could have done it the normal way IF they would have believed they could do it without resorting to the fad diet of the day and exercising until they dropped.

girldownsouth

I am a pretty happy person. Right now I feel really happy, even though I still have a long way to go, but I think it's more down the changes I've made to my lifestyle than the resulting weight loss. I also think I'm becoming more successful at work. I think part of this is just coincidental timing, but I also think that both this and my weight loss are mutually beneficial in either direction because my mindset is becoming steadily more determined.

Jruzer

I can't believe no one has posted this yet. From Toothpaste for Dinner:

fooninie

Agree with OP. The grass ain't always greener...I think with those types of surgeries, the person who actually loses the weight has not addressed the reason they got to that place in the first place and without taking control over that, weight loss is only treating the symptom and not so much the cause. IMHO.

I feel sad for this person, clearly his intentions are all good and he needs some help and support! Good luck OP, I hope he does well under your guidance!

Edited for typo

Jruzer

And to the point:

I can't say I was "unhappy" when I was heavy, but my attitude toward myself was tempered by my weight and my inability to control it. I had a glaringly obvious fault visible to all who looked at me.

When I learned that control and got my weight where I want it (or nearly so!), I am happier because I took charge of a personal failing and fixed it with hard work and dedication. I still have plenty of faults, mind you!

eimaj5575

I dont think its the fact that he lost weight. I think its the fact that he had surgery and lost it so fast. If he had just done it by eeating better and working out and lost it slow then maybe he would signing a different tune. He might have still lhad lose skin but I dont think he would have lost all his muscle like that if he had lost it fast.

Iwishyouwell

Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight.

That's not a Biggest Loser issue, that's a human being issue. Since around 90% of people regain most, if not all, of their weight back regardless of the rate of loss.

That includes people who do it the slow and steady way, call it a "lifestyle change", and swear they'll never go back to their old ways.

It's an uphill battle for everyone who was once fat and obese. Slow loss, quick loss, diet and exercise, or surgery, we're all facing the same alarming, abysmal odds.

CJisinShape

It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Thank you for posting this. My weight loss has been extremely slow, but I feel wonderful. Contrast to when I was a size 4 and miserable, after losing weight fast through diet and exercise. I enjoy my diet, and I celebrate with food, and am not afraid of chocolate cake. I feel kind of sad for folks when I hear them talk about hatred for their bodies, or that they will get a makeover once they've lost all the weight, as if they are not yet "worthy" of looking good at the weight they are. I've had a very postive, drastic change in appearance and is only partly due to weight loss. While I'd like to be at goal asap, you've pointed out that maybe its a good thing its taking a while.

candidcamster

This thread makes me want pizza. j/k Seriously I do believe my life will be a lot better when I reach 150 lbs., it is nice to hear the other side of things but overwhelmingly the pros outweigh the cons.

rexroars

That's terrible, it sounds like he needs a better doctor who could coach him on gradually eating a normal amount of food. It sounds like the problem was never his weight.

kelly_e_montana

Emotionally, I actually prefer being fat. I've been fat and not fat many times. On a physical level, of course, there is no question that losing the weight has changed my life for the better. I loved having my weight to hide behind so people didn't make overtly sexual comments to me as much. Regarding men, I also felt like I knew who was real and who was fake more because I know which people liked me for my personality. I also grew distant from a number of friends who stayed bigger because I had to devote time to exercising in the morning and didn't want to party all the time. They also no longer treated me as as part of the club in that I didn't share that bond that brought us together. We could hang out but they no longer felt as comfortable around me. I still hang out with them, but it's not the same. I have other friends with healthier lifestyles, but I miss that camaraderie of being a "big girl."

DWBalboa

If you don’t love yourself it doesn’t matter if you're fat, skinny, rich or poor; you’ll never be happy.

I personally love myself every chance I get. :laugh:

YorriaRaine

idk, I think the process of losing weight on mfp is making me happier because I feel like I'm slowly becoming a better person as well as a healthier person. I was somebody with no confidence and a lazy procrastinator. That girl is still there but losing weight slowly has shown me I have self control, upped my confidence and has helped me be more responsible.

I don't entirely say that's from losing weight, because the trigger of the need to change my life came before I made that decision to do so. However, the process of actually doing it, and seeing my work is producing results, has made me feel like all the other things I said to myself "I can't do it" before are in the past. I can do them, it will just take hard work, but I know now from experience that it is totally worth it.

tmauck4472

I'm lucky. I did not go into this thinking that I was going to be happy. I was already happy. I went into it to be healthy and I'm reaching that goal. Sad that people think that losing weight or having money will make you happy. Sometimes it helps but it's not the ONLY thing, you've actually got to put some personal effort into it.

shadowwalker42

I'm normally just a lurker here on the boards, but this is a topic that really bothers me. I have been in treatment for depression for a couple of years and one of my thoughts is that if I become slimmer, I'll be happier.

I agree with many of the comments in the thread that just losing weight will not bring about happiness, however it does allow for other things that for me would bring me happiness. I want to be able to run, ride a roller coaster, fit in an airline seat without worrying. I want to feel more confident in my appearance since so many people judge on first impressions. These are just some of the things that will bring me satisfaction and some amount of happiness (especially the running). I try to keep my expectations down and not live in a fantasy, but the desire for the activities I can't do now are my main driving force.

The weight loss itself doesn't bring me happiness, but the world it opens up does.