My husband needs help...

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Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Breadwinner? Cut down his food/drink intake? Just wow. Can't wait to come back and check on this thread later...

    He doesn't have a job so that is why I said that I am the breadwinner

    so... then where does he get the $$ for smokes and soda?

    It is not as if I am eager to give him those things...things have happened between him and I where if I don't give him those things I rather not post in the thread alright?

    :huh: leave... NOW
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    I can only imagine how hard it is to watch someone you love do things that are hurting his body. But nothing will change until he decides he's ready. You can't "motivate" someone else. The best thing you can do is live by example. Eat right keep yourself at at healthy weight. Be as active as you can. Let him see how much you enjoy living a healthy lifestyle. And love him NO MATTER WHAT! Personally… scare tactics don't work on me. You could try taking all those things that will supposedly "scare him straight." But personally, I would end up resenting it even more. And I would get my back up. Unfortunately it has to come from him.
  • TadaGanIarracht
    TadaGanIarracht Posts: 2,615 Member
    I want my dad to quit smoking. My grandfather died of lung cancer so we know it runs in the family. But I can't make him quit. I can't take his cigarettes away when I see him. It's not my place.

    I will share my concerns with him but it's his body and his choice.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Ask if he would be interested in diet soda and possibly other substitutions? Ask him if there's any exercise activity he's ever been interested in trying, you guys could try to get into that. What does he do all day while you work? A lot of times I eat out of boredom so if he's doing little all day, that could be a contributor. Maybe you guys could work on finding him a productive hobby or project of some sort
  • MzOnree
    MzOnree Posts: 124 Member
    You've been given a lot of information here. I would definitely take him to his primary care physician (not his mother) and have him examined along with extensive blood work. That is a starting point. As others have said, he will only change if and when he is ready to do so. I don't feel we know enough of the story to really give you good advice. This is just a "topic" and we have no idea what happens in your relationship day to day. I think you already know the answer to many of your questions and concerns. If you really listen and sit quietly for a moment...you will already know what you need to do deep inside yourself. Listen to what your heart and soul is telling you and then follow through. I wish you good luck and hope your husband comes around. You're honestly still a kid and have your entire life ahead of you. This shouldn't be a 21 years old problems. Also, this isn't the best place for the advice you need. Seek counseling, if not with him then go alone. Good luck!

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