To all parents.....Should I give this lady a tip?

jigsawxyouth

emtjmac

OK....my 14 year old daughter used a gift certificate yesterday to get a manicure at a local salon, my mom dropped her off and picked her up.

While having dinner last night she told me about how nice the manicurist was and how they shared that they both have migraine issues (my daughter is on several daily meds to control the migraines). The manicurist said she should talk to her mom about medical marijuana. She doesn't have to smoke it but could bake it into brownies, etc.

My daughter then told me the lady walked away from her and she still had the tip money I gave her in her pocket. Part of me says to take a ride to the salon and give the girl her tip, the other part of me says "Who the F*** does this girl think she is for talking to my kid about marijuana, medical or otherwise and screw the tip". What would you do?

Here's the best, most reasonable answer possible:

Step 1: Go tip the manicurist because it is the right thing to do.
Step 2: Assume the manicurist was only trying to help and that other people have values that differ from yours. If you are concerned and you think that your daughter will be going back there, politely broach your concerns. If not, leave it alone.

Follow this easy to understand guide and all will be well.

/thread

srslybritt

Personally I tend to only tip people who go above and beyond...otherwise their standard wage is what they get paid for - doing their job in a mediocre yet acceptable fashion.

If they exceed that expectation, they get a tip...if they don't, they don't.

That's just me though, my wife hates it.

.
Wow that's a jerk move.

not really though, i dont get tips for working 10 hours days construction so why is a tip implied for someone who brings me my food or cuts my hair when they already get a wage

Most servers earn 2.13/hour before taxes are taken out.....

things are different in ontario. minimum wage is $11 no matter where you work.

if i had a waiter who made that little i would definitely tip (and i still do in ontario unless the service is godawful just because of the stupid expectation of it)

Agreed with you to a point, obviously there will be differences between countries. I think there's at least one country where it's actually considered bad manners to tip, but it's not immediately coming to mind. My thoughts keep wandering to Ireland, but one can't be sure (someone please correct me here if I'm wrong).

But yes, if the server is making a minimum wage that warrants at least the basic standards of living, then tipping in an option. In the good ol' USA, where servers make $2-$4/hr (that goes for delivery drivers too, people), I find it hard not to tip a server unless they were really awful.

_KitKat_

In...

How old was this manicurist? Not that it excuses an adult (not family or doctor) giving medical advice to a 14 year old. I ask because if she is 19-20 she may not have realized the age difference. Also someone that age is less likely to have a moral issue with marijuana. Most likely she didn't realize what she was doing, my 14 year old many think is 16-17.

As for tip, really up to you. The manicurist is over it by now, but it would depend on your openness to the topic. For myself if this was to happen, I would probably tip if she was young and pull her to the side and say " I am open with my daughter but the conversation you had with a minor was inappropriate.... next time you may get the child of a very conservative mother and this may not go as well." This way she knows her behavior was not appreciated or appropriate, but I am open with my daughter so I doubt this would upset me. If she was older, I may still tip but at the same time, she should know better than to breech an adult topic with someone else's child.

* I am also a migraine sufferer (hospital severe) and marijuana doesn't do anything for mine, actually makes them worse and the smell will trigger them....so I would have also had to tell her "her advice applied to her, not all migraine sufferers". Also not a user, but would much prefer to deal with someone high on THC than a drunk.

srslybritt

If it is just the tip, dont even bother.

This... oh my goodness. Hahahahahaha.

emtjmac

Personally I tend to only tip people who go above and beyond...otherwise their standard wage is what they get paid for - doing their job in a mediocre yet acceptable fashion.

If they exceed that expectation, they get a tip...if they don't, they don't.

That's just me though, my wife hates it.

I imagine you get A LOT of mediocre service...

Waitstaff are paid less than minimum wage because tips make up the difference and then some. Now that you know this, failure to tip wait staff and others who work in the service industry will henceforth make you a bad person

calibriintx

michelleepotter

I would be questioning why your daughter kept the tip money (i.e. to buy a dime bag.)

Aside from the drug debate, my issue on this is that you made it an issue to begin with. The closed-mindedness of some parents with what their kids are subjected to is a bit naive and excessive. Your daughter knows about pot and has conversed in a lot of other issues that you may blanch at. While it MAY be unprofessional, a client/manicurist relationship is that of a confidant, but less money for the hour than a shrink would charge. Just because something is discussed doesn't mean your kid is going to partake in the topic at hand. Making a big deal out of this says more about you than that of the chick doing nails. I can't even imagine the bubble you keep your daughter in, but it's not going to be beneficial to her when down the road.

There's a big difference between what kids talk about, or what kids hear about, and another adult suggesting that your kid partake in something controversial (that an adult SHOULD be able to realize the kid's parents might not like). My kids are not sheltered at all, but my initial reaction would have been annoyance -- which would have nothing to do with keeping my kid in a bubble, and everything to do with some adult butting in to my parenting. (Although, like I said above, on second thought she was only saying, "Talk to your mom about it," and there's really nothing wrong with that.) I also got annoyed when my daughter's teacher told her she was making "a bad decision" because she planned to watch anime all weekend (it's summer break). Obviously I'm not trying to shelter her from... uh, *not* watching anime? Just, you know, let me parent my own kid.

Clearly a suggestion for relief from massive migraines is "butting" in on your parenting.

And if THAT isn't enough of a clue that this ***** is stepping on your toes, then her suggesting that your kid talk to you about it is for SURE a challenge. You should throat punch her like a boss...clearly she is out of line.

Reading comprehension, much?

tibsons_girl

The manicurist suggested that your daughter talk to you about medical marijuana for her migraines. Your daughter then did, in fact, bring it up to you. Did the discussion that followed really center around the tip still in your kid's pocket?

This^^

CrabCatcher

I wouldn't give her a tip and i'd call her boss to complain. She wants to be a pothead but it's irresponsible to be talking to a teenager about it.

say what now?

eta: people who use medical marijuana are potheads? you seem quite uneducated on such matters. best to keep that stuff inside your head.

Typical pothead response.

I bet you have tattoos and piercings too.

Because tattoos and piercings make you a pothead or stupid?!? Take your idiotic judgments and go crawl back under your rock.

_KitKat_

Personally I tend to only tip people who go above and beyond...otherwise their standard wage is what they get paid for - doing their job in a mediocre yet acceptable fashion.

If they exceed that expectation, they get a tip...if they don't, they don't.

That's just me though, my wife hates it.

I imagine you get A LOT of mediocre service...

Waitstaff are paid less than minimum wage because tips make up the difference and then some. Now that you know this, failure to tip wait staff and others who work in the service industry will henceforth make you a bad person

Not only this^^^^^^ but many places the waitress also has to tip a fixed percent of sales to the hostess/host, bus boy/girl, and back bar. When I was young it was about 5% of my sales I had to payout, regardless if I got tipped. I always tip service people, I tip base if they do their job, I tip well if they are cheerful and good and for exceptional service or just because I am in a great mood.....I tip huge. I also tip higher when I use a gift certificate, no clue why but I do. I am in the US, here it is needed for these people to survive and contribute back to society.

jigsawxyouth

say what now?

eta: people who use medical marijuana are potheads? you seem quite uneducated on such matters. best to keep that stuff inside your head.

Typical pothead response.

I bet you have tattoos and piercings too.

Because tattoos and piercings make you a pothead or stupid?!? Take your idiotic judgments and go crawl back under your rock.

I think he was being sarcastic...
I would know, I'm one of those tattooed, pierced potheads...

_KitKat_

I wouldn't give her a tip and i'd call her boss to complain. She wants to be a pothead but it's irresponsible to be talking to a teenager about it.

say what now?

eta: people who use medical marijuana are potheads? you seem quite uneducated on such matters. best to keep that stuff inside your head.

Typical pothead response.

I bet you have tattoos and piercings too.

Because tattoos and piercings make you a pothead or stupid?!? Take your idiotic judgments and go crawl back under your rock.

^^^^^^THIS times 10000%

I don't smoke, but I have tattoos and piercings, F*** off. You know what matters more than I don't smoke, I am not a drunk. Before you judge people know your facts. Many (even majority) of pot smokers (legal or not) are upper middle class professionals. Also tattoos do not prohibit me from being an awesome mom, wife and excelling at my career (web design/development and marketing), neither do piercings. Guess what else I could probably function just as well if I smoked pot at times.....but drunk, well I would be a mess.

Know what else, my honor roll 14 year old has a cute little nose stud, got for turning 13. She will be graduating with her associates degree (biology) at the same time as getting her diploma.

Great way to show your ignorance.


ETA, if it was sarcastic.... Then oops.....this does stand for anyone with that actual view.

bciloveme2014

I understand that every one has different views on stuff like this and i dont think that talking to this lady will change her views, Teens are going to encounter all diffrent types of ppl you cant protect them from every one just teach your daughter and explain to her why you dont want her using it. So she can learn to make the right choices even when you are not there

This ^

Also, you need to be able to trust your daughter that she is not going to do everything that some people tell her and also teach her about the tips too.

tibsons_girl

Personally I tend to only tip people who go above and beyond...otherwise their standard wage is what they get paid for - doing their job in a mediocre yet acceptable fashion.

If they exceed that expectation, they get a tip...if they don't, they don't.

That's just me though, my wife hates it.

.
Wow that's a jerk move.

not really though, i dont get tips for working 10 hours days construction so why is a tip implied for someone who brings me my food or cuts my hair when they already get a wage

Most servers earn 2.13/hour before taxes are taken out.....

things are different in ontario. minimum wage is $11 no matter where you work.

if i had a waiter who made that little i would definitely tip (and i still do in ontario unless the service is godawful just because of the stupid expectation of it)

actually.. in ontario most servers currently only make $9.55. Still more than in the US, but not as straightforward as you are making it out to seem.

BigT555

actually.. in ontario most servers currently only make $9.55. Still more than in the US, but not as straightforward as you are making it out to seem.

i think 9.55 is more than a fair wage for someone who waits tables considering the work others have to do for a couple bucks more an hour. ive busted my *kitten* for 12.50 an hour and ive seen my best friends gf make my full 40 h wage in tips in 3 days, thats before her hourly cheque, bringing people their food in the comfort of an air conditioned restaurant.

ontarian waiters have it made in the shade

mank32

You guys make me miss weed.

It's one of those things you have to give up when you want to lose weight. Those munchies are killer.

False. I lost over 85 lbs smoking nearly every day. There are strains that are less prone to causing the munchies.

Agreed...and munchies don't happen when you're a regular smoker, imo.

...AND it hits people differently. for some it's an appetite suppressant. :ohwell:

cherrilovee

Screw the tip. It's very irresponsible to be talking about drugs with other people's children. With that being said, make sure you talk to your children about drugs and the reasons that they SHOULD NOT take them. The majority of people getting into drugs are highschoolers. Talk to your teens about the effects the drugs will have on their bodies.

Pipsg1rl

Too late to tip, I agree, but you should discuss tip etiquette with your daughter. Usually gift cards can't be used for tipping.

Now if your daughter was dissatisfied with the service that would be a reason not to tip, but she should talk to the owner/manager.

As for the medical marijuana conversation I -personally- feel that your daughter is too young to have a conversation like that with a service provider. Sure, she may discuss it with you and her friends, but NO grown person should talk to a CHILD about marijuana if it is NOT YOU.

What if she was recommending vodka for migraines? That's so not ok.

By the way... occipital nerve blocks if you haven't looked at that already.

rowlandsw

While i may have been a bit over the line with the pothead comment the woman still needs her boss to have a talk with her. There is also the chance that she was full of crap saying it was medically needed, at the moment it tends to be a claim folks who don't really need use to try and sound like they're not breaking the law. actually i'd prefer if they'd just fully legalize it but an adult talking to a minor about it is a bad idea.