Gentlemen, its perfectly ok to comment on my weight loss!

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Replies

  • emmanap91
    emmanap91 Posts: 300 Member
    geez, bunch of kill joys

    USUALLY, if someone is working out and working hard, they don't have any problems with people commenting on weight loss. This is how all the women in my life feel and every woman I have ever met feel as well.

    So what, your anecdotal evidence is supposed to set the standard for all women, and the women expressing differing opinions in this thread must be the anomalies? Could not be, perhaps, an association bias, in which you spend time with people who are similar to yourself and therefore react similarly?

    The internet is full of so many people from so many backgrounds, you're going to be repeatedly disappointed if you look for everyone to be similar to yourself. Embrace the differences, they're what make people interesting.
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
    geez, bunch of kill joys

    USUALLY, if someone is working out and working hard, they don't have any problems with people commenting on weight loss. This is how all the women in my life feel and every woman I have ever met feel as well.

    So what, your anecdotal evidence is supposed to set the standard for all women, and the women expressing differing opinions in this thread must be the anomalies? Could not be, perhaps, an association bias, in which you spend time with people who are similar to yourself and therefore react similarly?

    The internet is full of so many people from so many backgrounds, you're going to be repeatedly disappointed if you look for everyone to be similar to yourself. Embrace the differences, they're what make people interesting.


    :flowerforyou:
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    One time someone I didn't recall knowing came up to me and was gushing about how much weight I had lost. I kept trying to tell him he must be confusing me with someone else and that I had definitely not lost any weight (I had been the same weight since I was 16). It was weird.
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
    Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"

    Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
    please feel free to comment away!!!
    Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    One time someone I didn't recall knowing came up to me and was gushing about how much weight I had lost. I kept trying to tell him he must be confusing me with someone else and that I had definitely not lost any weight (I had been the same weight since I was 16). It was weird.

    Nonono....Every woman in the world is happy to hear that she's losing weight, all the time, no exceptions!.
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    Congratz on your loss.

    I, personally, don't like it. I had a guy at work approach me and actually ask what was wrong with me. Like, acting like I was sick. I told him I just lost weight and he asked me why. I would take no one noticing over a single comment like that. I did this for me and I can see positive comments as a good feeling but I get annoying comments 9/10.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Congratz on your loss.

    I, personally, don't like it. I had a guy at work approach me and actually ask what was wrong with me. Like, acting like I was sick. I told him I just lost weight and he asked me why. I would take no one noticing over a single comment like that. I did this for me and I can see positive comments as a good feeling but I get annoying comments 9/10.

    Someone said to me, "I noticed that you lost weight, which I thought was weird because i never thought you needed to, but I didn't want to say anything in case you were sick."
  • apparations
    apparations Posts: 264 Member
    I can see both sides. I have a large staff at work and it does get annoying to hear about it like every day. I appreciate the compliments, but still it gets a little out of hand sometimes.
    But on the other side, the guys that I'm dating totally refuse to comment on it, probably because they don't want to imply that I was fat before. So basically, the people I want to hear it from don't say anything, and the people who's opinions I couldn't care less about won't shut up about it. lol
  • Soggynode
    Soggynode Posts: 1,179 Member
    Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"

    Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
    please feel free to comment away!!!
    Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.

    Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"

    Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
    please feel free to comment away!!!
    Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.

    Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.

    Yes, how sad that there are policies in place to protect an individual's right to privacy regarding their own body.
  • PunkyDucky
    PunkyDucky Posts: 283 Member
    oh, boo!
    I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    What's wrong with society? I understand the whole concept of privacy and feeling safe and comfortable in the workplace, but It's getting to where I can't wish someone a pleasant sunny afternoon without worrying that the person may get offended because they have a sensitivity to the sun.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    geez, bunch of kill joys

    USUALLY, if someone is working out and working hard, they don't have any problems with people commenting on weight loss. This is how all the women in my life feel and every woman I have ever met feel as well.

    every woman you have ever met...k
  • roanokejoe49
    roanokejoe49 Posts: 820 Member
    oh, boo!
    I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:

    I'm too busy looking at your hotness to notice any weight loss! ;-)
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.
  • PunkyDucky
    PunkyDucky Posts: 283 Member
    oh, boo!
    I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:

    I'm too busy looking at your hotness to notice any weight loss! ;-)

    Why, thank you.
    :blushing: :flowerforyou:
  • RoolyBob99
    RoolyBob99 Posts: 6
    When I lost weight previously (through Weight Watchers and a running regimen 3 days a week) an older man at my church asked me if I was eating at all, and that I looked very skinny. It was meant to be complimentary, but regardless it really really bothered me and made me very uncomfortable. If anyone ever mentions any weight loss, I just tell them that I've gotten taller. (Since I'm a teen I can still get away with that excuse, though I actually have gotten significantly taller anyway).

    If he was truly concerned about me not eating, he should have approached my parents, not me. If I had had an eating disorder of any kind, saying something like that could have worsened the situation immensely. It was just an insensitive thing to say in any situation, regardless of good intentions.

    Anyway, because I have had a weight issue from such a young age, it makes me very uncomfortable when people acknowledge that I've lost weight because it reminds me of my problem in the first place and how overweight I became/have become. I don't like it at all, and it doesn't boost my confidence. What DOES boost my confidence is someone saying they're proud of me for running or making better food choices, not how my body has become as a result. Of course, that's an individual matter, and if anyone has learned something from this thread, it should be that all women do NOT respond the same way to comments on weight loss or healthier habits in general.

    My advice: keep your lips zipped.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    I posted this on my wall, but I'll put it here too: The thing is, what one person considers a compliment, could really hurt someone's feelings. If someone isn't trying to lose weight, and is self conscious about how they look, then someone innocently congratulating them on losing weight because the light hits them differently that day, could end up doing more harm than good. It's not that you can't compliment someone on something if they bring it to your attention, or are in a conversation about a related topic, but unsolicited compliments rank up there with unsolicited advice.

    I'm not one of those people, but they exist, and I'm not going to step on their toes and make them feel bad, just so I can pat myself on the back for spraying my unwanted opinions on the world.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.

    I smile and say thank you. But if I haven't told you I'm trying to lose weight, I'd much rather that people not say anything. It just feels private. I know it's not the same, but the closest example I can get to why is when someone conceives a child and people ask if they were trying. Um, if it's your business, you'd know.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"

    Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
    please feel free to comment away!!!
    Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.

    Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.

    Yes, how sad that there are policies in place to protect an individual's right to privacy regarding their own body.

    Interesting comment from a man who states "Sly grins from strange women" is one of his inspirations.

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