Eating out is ruined for me now..

jimmmer

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?

No, we are not.

You need to have a healthy relationship with food. Restricting yourself to the point where you're just miserable and can never enjoy real life again? Not healthy. Not sustainable. Doomed.

Learning to manage your social lifestyle and your weight without feelings of misery and guilt? Healthy.

vmclach

Sometimes if I want a 3000 calories meal, I'll just run a marathon. You'll be able to eat 4,000+ cals that day even with a deficit

GiveMeCoffee

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?

I think the post were extremely helpful until excuse after excuse continued with more whining than my 18 month old granddaughter does.

And no I'm not at a point where I don't enjoy going out to eat, actually I think I enjoy it more now than I used to. I go out, pick exactly what I'm in the mood for, enjoy every single bite, come home log as close as I can guesstimate and move on with my life.

And thanks to this thread I think I'm going out for dinner now .. is that Sabotage? I might need to start a thread

LifeWithPie

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

Speak for yourself! I feel awesome after eating out. But then again, I can control myself like a grown up.

Acg67

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

LOL, choosing restaurant dishes based off calorie counts or perceived calorie counts means you're doing it wrong. If you're going to pay for food, go for what you think will taste the best

trinacrick

Not sure where you're going on vacation, but you could also see if there's a nearby grocery store where you can pick up healthy items for breakfast, lunch or snacks.

Edit: I also want to say I'm jealous because I have not gone away on vacation for two weeks since I was, like, 10 years old.

We're staying at a hotel without fridge, I think, and traveling four of those days... and it's only one week. We're visiting family... and what they're going to cook is a whole other matter, lol.

Eating out can be "ruined"....or you can just be smart about it and have fun with it. If your only pleasure in "eating out" is about the food, then you are either doing it with the wrong people, or you are just doing it wrong......period. You can revolve it all around EATING or have fun, great conversation, a whole lotta laughs, and eating is just a small part of it.

That's the thing though... it's typically with my close family. And we could just do it at home (and arguably... it would be easier than to deal with two bored kids at the restaurant). But yes, this time the reason we're going out is that my mom is visiting and I'm so over trying to find things she will like for lunch. So a restaurant is easier (although she always finds something to complain about).

But as I said... I love food. I've always loved going to restaurants for the food, especially dessert. It's a huge change for me. I'm guessing most of you have never seen things this way though so you don't 'get' it. Heck I think I'd be fine if menus had grilled chicken or steak with veggies most of the time... but often they don't, and I just hate being 'that woman' who asks everything to be made a special way, with sauce on the side and whatnot. And a lot of restaurants are not that accommodating really. I mean I can't really order grilled chicken if they only have sauteed chicken on the menu, for example... but either way, believe it or not, I'm not a confrontational person and I just hate being annoying.

Sorry.....I am new to these forums so not very good at quoting, etc. I agree.....I love to eat out! I am one of those people that says "OK....but where are we eating?" when plans are being made for anything......day trip, weekend, birthday. I just think that as everyone has said, you have been so successful, that you can change the mindset of "eating out is ruined for me" and be the COOL chick that is being picky and healthy. I go to girls night out and we go to a Mexican restaurant and I am the one saying "can I have a side salad with extra cucumbers and tomatoes" and I am dipping that into the salsa instead of the chips. I order fajitas or a steak so it's not all prewrapped in a tortilla and drowned in cheese and sauce and pick around at it. I want to use my calories for the big margarita! Is it more calories than I would have eaten at home.....YES! Am I miserable because I ate 1/3 of the calories that my friends (who are ALWAYS on crazy shake diets, etc and whining that they want to lose weight) ate? Absolutely not.

_HeartsOnFire_

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

And...when she rebutts every single piece of advice with an excuse...then what? We should just pat her on the back and say there, there? Nope. Sorry, because that's actually not helpful and it's not support.

Also, I'm with the other poster...if you feel absolute ****, bloated and yucky after eating out...sorry but you're doing it wrong.

LifeWithPie

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

And...when she rebutts every single piece of advice with an excuse...then what? We should just pat her on the back and say there, there? Nope. Sorry.

:drinker:

_HeartsOnFire_

JoelleAnn78

So yeah, pretty much having to stick to the restaurants that have nutrition info. I wouldn't even trust grilled steak, fish or chicken breast, you never know what oil or butter they put on it...

You know you can ask nearly any resturant out there to cook your meal the way you want it, right? I often ask for the veggies with no butter, or the sauce on the side. Most places are very flexible. If it is really that big a deal for you, I would suggest you just don't go out. Nothing this easy should cause you this much stress. Either you go online (like you did) and choose something ahead of time, order something off the menu you think you can manage to add to your calories later, or you just don't go. Easy.

Grimmerick

MFP has a lot of restaurant foods in the database. If the calorie count isn't on the online menu you should check it.

It's okay to treat yourself, just don't do it very often. One meal can have a lot of calories and undo a week of progress especially as you get closer to your goal and the weight is more difficult to lose. I did read somewhere that if you're going to go over it's best to do it all at once rather than over the course of a few days, something to do with the way the body digests food. So have one cheat day not several.

If you know you're going to eat out, you should probably fast during the early part of the day or just have a piece of fruit or something small (<200 calories) to hold you because you don't want to go over by too much.

And there's always cardio. If you go over you can exercise to burn off some of those extra calories.

I did 2.5 hours of cardio today and burned a whopping 500 calories! I got to start running I guess.

That whole 'one day isn't the end of the world' thing is the reason why I've only lost 2 pounds in the last 3 months, by the way, lol.

What kind of cardio was it? 2.5 hours seems like you should have burned way more than 500 calories, you might have burned more than you thought.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

But as I said... I love food. I've always loved going to restaurants for the food, especially dessert. It's a huge change for me. I'm guessing most of you have never seen things this way though so you don't 'get' it.

I think it's unfair and a little disengenous to say that none of us love food/dessert. Surely you at least know me well enough to know that's not the case.

I do get it. But there are only a few choices:

1.) order as healthfully as possible, log as best you can
2.) order what you want and don't stress about it
3.) do a mixture of 1 and 2 (which is what I do)
4.) complain

People here are trying to help you find a solution aside from #4.

enterdanger

Don't sweat it! I just returned from vacation and ate at restaurants numerous times and actually lost 1.5 lbs. I walked a lot while sight seeing and bought fruit at the local farmers markets to eat as snacks! Good luck!

I totally agree with this. I just went to Chicago (great foodie city) for a long weekend. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted for dinner and drank several beers each day. When I came home I actually weighed 2 lbs less from all the walking I did. One thing that helps on vacation is to pick one meal where you are going to eat healthy. I chose breakfast. because its the easiest to bring stuff to cover. Most days I had a protein bar and an apple.

ew_david

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

Your 14 posts in 3 years tells me you don't really know the OP the way some of us do.

Fit4MeAlways

We travel often, so I understand your pain.
We have limited our choices to the below:
For "fast food" we do Chipotle and Subway.
For sit down places we do Applebee's and Red Lobster, which has lots of grilled seafood choices (hold the biscuits).

I know it can be very frustrating. Hang in there.

Jessie24330

If it was me I wouldn't worry too much about a meal one time with your mother. I would just try to order what seemed to be the best option probably without any extra sauces or whatnot and then try to just enjoy the meal and do your best to calculate the calories and then add maybe 20 to 30% for good measure. As for the vacation, I personally, would maybe choose one or two days to eat out and then just get a side salad with dressing on the side to eat with your family for the rest of the time. Then go shopping at a local store and pick up some food for you to eat when you get back to your hotel. This may not seem like an option for you but as I said, this is what I would do.

AllonsYtotheTardis

Clearly the only solution is to just eat what you want, when you want, and out the weight back on.

Francl27

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.

The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?

What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.

Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?

So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?

End rant.

Ah, someone who gets it. Thanks, lol.

And to the others - I DID NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I was ranting. Of course I'm going to turn down all your advice and give you 'excuses' for not wanting to follow it - I know everything you've told me. I've done it. I've lost 80 pounds eating at the restaurant every other week. I'm just tired of having to always ask 'sauce on the side' or 'grilled chicken with no sauce' etc... which of course I will do if I have to. I'm just not necessarily going to enjoy it. Unless it's restaurants that give calories, so at least I know what I'm getting... and I enjoy those. I just feel bad always going to the same places.

bcattoes

I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?

No, we are not.

You need to have a healthy relationship with food. Restricting yourself to the point where you're just miserable and can never enjoy real life again? Not healthy. Not sustainable. Doomed.

Learning to manage your social lifestyle and your weight without feelings of misery and guilt? Healthy.

A healthy relationship with food doesn't mean the same things for everyone. And some people may never be able to achieve the relationship with food that you describe. Knowing your triggers, knowing what you personally need to do to stay on track, knowing yourself and your relationship with food is important.

I can understand the OP's trepidation. She's lost a lot of weight, but the battle may not be over. Maintenance is the part most people fail at. Just because what works for you and other responders does not sound right to her, does not mean she has an unhealthy relationship with food, or that she is argumentative . It may simply mean she hasn't read what she feels is a viable answer for her.

It's not as if one can't live a healthy, happy life without eating in restaurants. Why is feeling that you have to eat out or overeat on occasion sound less like an unhealthy relationship with food than thinking you can't or don't want to?