Eating out is ruined for me now..
Replies
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To the OP: I took a glance at your food diary and it seems as though a bunch of stuff could be cut out on a regular basis in order to make room for outings to restaurants, etc. Usually I don't like to comment on what others choose to eat but your complaining about the difficulties inherent in eating out seems to ignore your everyday eating habits.
You seem to eat around 250+ calories per day alone on gelato and sweet snacks and cutting those out say four days a week would go a long way in creating a larger deficit for you. I also love the sweets but find it easier to stay away from them if they are confined to only a few days a week. Refined sugars are terrible on many levels and for someone who seems concerned with being hungry 2 hours after a meal, I don't really see how eating so much crap assists in making you feel satisfied.
This is not meant as a judgement, but you don't seem to be overly accepting of any of the advice/solutions being given to you on this forum. If this was a rant, then I don't think this is the proper forum. People come here for advice and support. Don't expect support for whinging and complaining.
BOTTOMLINE: Creating a calorie deficit and concentrating on including nutritious, filling, whole foods in your everyday diet is going to be able to let you enjoy outings to restaurants without freaking out about it. Removing some of the gelato intake will help....0 -
The reason most people fail to maintain is probably (just pulling this out of my *kitten* - I have no experience or anything else to back it up) that they cut out a bunch of stuff to lose the weight.
Then they eventually start eating it all again, but without the self-control they would have learned if they had continued to eat it all the way along. This is probably a recipe for disaster.
Of course, this is all idle speculation and is probably (almost definitely) bollocks. But it could be true...
That's true for some perhaps but I'm going to go with bollocks for many. Lots of people purposefully restrict certain foods on a cut - I'm not going to eat a big piece of cheesecake when I only have 2000 calories for the day. Now, on 3500 calories? Sure, I might fit cheesecake in on occasion, although probably still not very often. In both cases though I'm exercising self control.
Now, if someone is the type of person that feels helpless around particular foods, I think it could be great advice to tell that person to find a way to learn some self control when it comes to that particular food. Different strokes for different folks though.
No. You eat a little piece of cheesecake and you drink tea instead of coffee on the morning when you plan to eat cheesecake.
You don't just stop eating it and then chow down on a huge piece without thinking about it when you feel like you can afford it.
You make mindful choices.
And THAT's what carries over into maintaining and bulking.
"No." I love how you think there's only one proper way to lose weight. Why should I force myself to make room for rich foods on a cut just because I might eat them in the future? That's some faulty logic. I'd much rather make the most of my limited calories on a cut and fill them with nutrient-rich, satiating foods and save the desserts for either a very rare treat or for a time when I have extra calories to play with.
I'll always concede though if you're the type of person that feels miserable without a certain food, find a way to eat that food. I personally don't care about specific foods (although I do really like IPAs) - I like satiation and I have a huge appetite. Great for bulking, but if I tried cutting with pizza, cheesecake, pop tarts and other rich foods in my diet, I'd be 100% miserable all the time. Find what works for you and get it out of your head that there's only one proper way to cut weight.
Because, if you learn how to fit it in on a cut, then you've learned how to fit it in during maintenance. Having to relearn all of your eating habits once you've hit maintenance is a bear.
http://www.weightymatters.ca/2014/06/is-it-really-scientifically-impossible.html
"As far as weight loss and maintenance go there are many different strokes for many different folks, but there is one essential commonality for those who succeed where others fail - if you're going to keep it off you've got to like how you've lost it enough to keep doing it. "0 -
am I the only one offended that she keep saying BUT I LOVE FOOD...
seriously?
The only thing left to say is cat gifs.
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Well based on your diary for Thursday, I'm baffled as to why you find eating out so calorie laden as opposed to eating at home.
I mean not that there is anything wrong with chocolate pastries, bear claws, gelato, chocolate brioche, more gelato, more chocolate pastries.....I love that stuff. I just don't eat it all in one day and then come on the forums whining about asking for entrees with no sauces at restaurants.
But that's just me.0 -
am I the only one offended that she keep saying BUT I LOVE FOOD...
seriously?
The only thing left to say is cat gifs.
damnit- I can't see them- but by all means- please post more for when I get home tonight :drinker:
because.. cat gifs.0 -
am I the only one offended that she keep saying BUT I LOVE FOOD...
seriously?
The only thing left to say is cat gifs.
My favorite cat gif! Thank you.0 -
Well based on your diary for Thursday, I'm baffled as to why you find eating out so calorie laden as opposed to eating at home.
I mean not that there is anything wrong with chocolate pastries, bear claws, gelato, chocolate brioche, more gelato, more chocolate pastries.....I love that stuff. I just don't eat it all in one day and then come on the forums whining about asking for entrees with no sauces at restaurants.
But that's just me.0 -
am I the only one offended that she keep saying BUT I LOVE FOOD...
seriously?
we ALL love food.
Some of us loved it so much we got super over weight- some of us managed our weight perfectly fine through our lives loving food AND eating out.
But it really kind of annoys me that people assume because I was never obese that I do not LOVE food. I effing LOVE food- it makes me crazy when people are like "i can barely eat 1000 calories a day how do I eat more" or do I really need to eat more. Really? I can eat that by 10 AM. FOOD IS DELICIOUS AND AMAZING.
Ordering sauce on the side is seriously not a crisis what do you mean you get tired of it? it takes less time to say- sauce on the side- no butter on my veggies than it does to make the rant you made.
For real. I want to stuff all the food in my face every second of every day. The "poor me, I can't eat enough" people are not only annoying, they are also lying to themselves. How'd you get overweight if you can't manage 1,200 calories, bra?
But to add to the discussion, I find eating out to be slightly stressful sometimes, but I just overestimate as best I can, log it and move on. I order what looks AMAZING and eat a sensible portion using my eyeballing skills, which have gotten pretty good. You don't have to be a salad slave for the rest of your life. People act like one high calorie meal is going to make them gain 100 lbs.0 -
I don't eat out all that often...when I do, I just enjoy myself and don't worry about it. In the grand scheme of things, eating out every once in awhile and just enjoying it regardless of the calories, etc isn't going to hurt anything. Maintenance is going to be a real bear if you can't get out of the minutia and start seeing the bigger picture.
A big part of this process should be learning moderation and portion control as well as good decision making and fostering a healthy relationship with food in general. These are the things that are going to allow you to truly make a lifestyle change to carry over into maintenance without having to log every single little calorie. I am mindful of what I eat, but I don't log and I have been maintaining for over a year and even lost a few more pounds when I wanted to without logging anything.0 -
Well based on your diary for Thursday, I'm baffled as to why you find eating out so calorie laden as opposed to eating at home.
I mean not that there is anything wrong with chocolate pastries, bear claws, gelato, chocolate brioche, more gelato, more chocolate pastries.....I love that stuff. I just don't eat it all in one day and then come on the forums whining about asking for entrees with no sauces at restaurants.
But that's just me.
Yeah, specifically when I said that yesterday was my treat day and that's why I don't want to go the 'it's just one day, enjoy your restaurant meal' today.
Because clearly one day gives you an idea of what my diet is like :huh: Or maybe you just didn't read my posts.
And yes, absolutely, I have 200-300 calories of gelato most days. Because I'd much rather spend those calories on that than some random calorie-laden meal at the restaurant... Everything in moderation... What I'd like is to be able to find healthy options at local restaurants without having to ask them to prepare everything differently. And typically I have them after a filling meal, so it's not really an issue... because it's actually possible at home to have a pretty filling meal for 400-500 calories... which is apparently impossible in most restaurants.
So that's why we're going to Applebee's or Cheesecake factory, which have low calorie options (and that I actually enjoy, even if some of you don't seem to like Applebee's).
And yes, I'm worried about my vacations... sorry. Because 'letting go' for a week is a recipe for disaster for me. I'm worried I'll gain back the weight. It might sound easy to lose once you've lost 80 pounds, but it's still not, I've lost very slowly lately and I've been hungrier and having more cravings now than when I started, must exercise much longer to burn the same number of calories, which makes me hungrier, so cutting more food would be much harder for me now than it was a month ago.
You all are telling me to stop stressing out over one meal, that one week won't make me gain the weight back, then that I have a bad relationship with food and will probably gain the weight back with that mindset.... Make up your mind.0 -
I hear you! I was out doing errands the other night and had about 500 calories remaining for dinner--a fine amount. I searched for somewhere I could eat "healthy" food and settled on Ruby Tuesday because it offers a Turkey burger with grilled veggies on the side, instead of carbs. I had it with grilled zucchini and iced tea. Feeling very virtuous, I got out the phone and uploaded it to MFP. To my horror, the simple turkey burger with lettuce and tomato was over 800 calories and the zucchini was 40. I thought it was an error, so went to other sites to validate it and to the RT website calorie information. Although, there was some small variation, it was in fact accurate! I then read all kinds of articles about how RT adds butter and all kinds of things to seemingly healthy foods that really increase the calories. The bun alone was about half the calories! Thank god, I didn't get the avacado turkey burger. It shows you why America is so obese! Compare that to Europe where I eat 3-4 courses of small portions of food that is what it truely appears to be--it is for the most part, unprocessed, real food--and add to that all the walking, I have actually gone on vacation and lost 6 pounds. American restaurants are really, really making me mad.0
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I'm having HLB flashbacks.0
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I completely understand where OP is coming from. I'm small (5'1.5") and am on a 1200 calorie program, eating back exercise calories. I don't tend to worry about vacation eating too much -- it's only one or two weeks out of the year. However, I'm going through a lifestyle change, where I used eat out only once a week with my husband, which was no big deal -- my "Cheat meal." But he has just stopped traveling and has taken a new job locally. His workplace is close to where I work, so now sometimes we meet after work for dinner. He also umpires baseball, and he comes home at 7:30-8:00 with money in his pocket and says, "Let's go out." I've also been very stressed lately with some unexpected summer courses I was assigned, so I've been giving in and having a cocktail, too, when we go out. So, I've been going out 2-3 times a week, not being careful, and I definitely see the change. I'm gaining, not tracking, etc. For someone on my low limit, one restaurant meal could be my allotment for the entire day, unless I do a heavy workout, and even a kickboxing class or something like that burns only around 600 calories on someone my size. One thing that is helpful is that a few of the chains we go to have lower calorie options where the calories are stated on the menu -- the 99, Longhorn Steakhouse, and Applebee's -- are a few of the places that do this. In fact, the 99 has a very nice salmon entree with vegetables that looks as pretty as something from a high end restaurant. But of course, you don't want to eat at chains all the time, and that's where the trouble comes in. I don't care if MFP has calories tracked for most restaurant foods -- the fact is most restaurant foods and portions are way more than what we eat at home. I'm not even talking about eating "junk food" -- fried food, etc., just an average restaurant meal. And weight loss and maintenance is much harder on smaller females with lower calorie requirements. When I prepare all my own food, I am much more in control. By the way, my husband is used to restaurant eating because he traveled a lot, and he certainly has paid for it in terms of his health.0
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Well based on your diary for Thursday, I'm baffled as to why you find eating out so calorie laden as opposed to eating at home.
I mean not that there is anything wrong with chocolate pastries, bear claws, gelato, chocolate brioche, more gelato, more chocolate pastries.....I love that stuff. I just don't eat it all in one day and then come on the forums whining about asking for entrees with no sauces at restaurants.
But that's just me.
Yeah, specifically when I said that yesterday was my treat day and that's why I don't want to go the 'it's just one day, enjoy your restaurant meal' today.
Because clearly one day gives you an idea of what my diet is like :huh: Or maybe you just didn't read my posts.
And yes, absolutely, I have 200-300 calories of gelato most days. Because I'd much rather spend those calories on that than some random calorie-laden meal at the restaurant. What I'd like is to be able to find healthy options at local restaurants without having to ask them to prepare everything differently. And typically I have them after a filling meal, so it's not really an issue... because it's actually possible at home to have a pretty filling meal for 400-500 calories... which is apparently impossible in most restaurants.
So that's why we're going to Applebee's or Cheesecake factory, which have low calorie options (and that I actually enjoy, even if some of you don't seem to like Applebee's).
No. You're just a whiny complainer.
I'm out.0 -
I'm having HLB flashbacks.
OMG! Me too!!!!! LOL0 -
Well based on your diary for Thursday, I'm baffled as to why you find eating out so calorie laden as opposed to eating at home.
I mean not that there is anything wrong with chocolate pastries, bear claws, gelato, chocolate brioche, more gelato, more chocolate pastries.....I love that stuff. I just don't eat it all in one day and then come on the forums whining about asking for entrees with no sauces at restaurants.
But that's just me.
Yeah, specifically when I said that yesterday was my treat day and that's why I don't want to go the 'it's just one day, enjoy your restaurant meal' today.
Because clearly one day gives you an idea of what my diet is like :huh: Or maybe you just didn't read my posts.
And yes, absolutely, I have 200-300 calories of gelato most days. Because I'd much rather spend those calories on that than some random calorie-laden meal at the restaurant. What I'd like is to be able to find healthy options at local restaurants without having to ask them to prepare everything differently. And typically I have them after a filling meal, so it's not really an issue... because it's actually possible at home to have a pretty filling meal for 400-500 calories... which is apparently impossible in most restaurants.
So that's why we're going to Applebee's or Cheesecake factory, which have low calorie options (and that I actually enjoy, even if some of you don't seem to like Applebee's).
No. You're just a whiny complainer.
I'm out.
Annnnd so am I.0 -
I'm having HLB flashbacks.
OMG! Me too!!!!! LOL
It was my cheat day!0 -
For real. I want to stuff all the food in my face every second of every day. The "poor me, I can't eat enough" people are not only annoying, they are also lying to themselves. How'd you get overweight if you can't manage 1,200 calories, bra?
But to add to the discussion, I find eating out to be slightly stressful sometimes, but I just overestimate as best I can, log it and move on. I order what looks AMAZING and eat a sensible portion using my eyeballing skills, which have gotten pretty good. You don't have to be a salad slave for the rest of your life. People act like one high calorie meal is going to make them gain 100 lbs.
indeed.
My BF lives 2 hours away and works a backwards schedule to mine- he is here Wed/Thursday- I work Mon-Friday and have weekend obligations.
So Thursday we go to lunch- and either Wed night or Thursday we go out to dinner. Often we cook a sizable steak/lamb meal at home but sometimes we go out Wed AND Thurs... think we did that this week- Applebees and then an Afghan Kabob place (talk about no calorie counts LOL). Sometimes we go out to a Brazillian steak house which is all you can eat meat.. I have taken my scale there to ball park my food consumption since there is no way to actual tell.
I've been living this way for 3 years- gaining/losing successfully- its' fine. I still love eating out- or eating at home- it's not an issue- as many other people have proven they can do as well.
I've been bulking/cutting just fine.0 -
Because I'd much rather spend those calories on that than some random calorie-laden meal at the restaurant... Everything in moderation... What I'd like is to be able to find healthy options at local restaurants without having to ask them to prepare everything differently.
Look, it is what it is. Why can't you ask for broiled/baked fish, or plain grilled chicken and steamed veggies? It is not that big of a deal. With the number of people who HAVE to modify their diets due to real health issues, it is nothing for cook to modify things to something basic like that.0 -
I'm having HLB flashbacks.
:laugh:0 -
Switch to TDEE - 20% so you stop worrying about exercise calories giving you more food. Start lifting weights if you aren't already.And yes, I'm worried about my vacations... sorry. Because 'letting go' for a week is a recipe for disaster for me. I'm worried I'll gain back the weight. It might sound easy to lose once you've lost 80 pounds, but it's still not, I've lost very slowly lately and I've been hungrier and having more cravings now than when I started, must exercise much longer to burn the same number of calories, which makes me hungrier, so cutting more food would be much harder for me now than it was a month ago.
You all are telling me to stop stressing out over one meal, that one week won't make me gain the weight back, then that I have a bad relationship with food and will probably gain the weight back with that mindset.... Make up your mind.
And don't "let go" of anything. I have been struggling to stick to a lower calorie goal for the past 4 weeks. I'm 6 months into a deficit and I seriously need a break. So I upped myself to 2200, to see if this is maintenance for my current weight (or more than/less than). I haven't gained or lost anything, but my rings and pants are smaller. If I were to go on vacation, I'd probably set a goal of 2500 a day and just see what happened. Loosening up doesn't have to mean letting go. It's not all or nothing, or at least it shouldn't be.0 -
And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.
YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.
As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.
I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.
You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?
Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?
I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?0 -
My mom invited me out to lunch at OG last week. The plan was to go this past Wednesday. I spent the week leading up to it in total angst about what I would eat, how it would fit into my plan and how to minimize the damage. I downloaded the nutrition info for the entire menu and poured over it for days. I finally settled on a single lunch item and planned to drink my normal iced tea. Off we went to OG. Pleased with myself, I didn't even look at the menu and ordered my chosen dish. The waitress said that they do not offer that particular dish..... WHAT?!?!?!?! Now what do I do? I knoew I should have printed the whole damn nutrition thing out and brought it with me. (mental kick!)
To hell with it, then. I looked over the lunch menu and picked something that looked good and had no sauce drowning it. I decided to not even log it until I had enjoyed eating it too. I only ate half and was miserable while chewing every mouthful.
When I got home, with much trepidation, I logged my lunch and discovered that I had consumed an amazing 1955 calories in that one meal. Holy crap!
Now I know how I got to be super obese. This is insane! I told my mom that I loved her but that eating out was not going to be an option for me for a while while I got my bearings on food nutrition values. I am still in early days of improving my food consumption.
Everyone has to approach food in a way that works for them. For me, eating out is not happening for a while...0 -
And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.
YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.
As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.
I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.
You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?
Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?
I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?
I do not believe she was spot on with her analysis, and quite frankly her post did sound mean. Only the OP could possibly know what is ruined for her.0 -
I am gluten and dairy free - talk about it being hard to go to restaurants... But, I'm always able to find something delicious! Lots of restaurants have cool salads that I wouldn't have ordered before, but now I try them because it is a new and interesting flavor combination. I've expanded my pallate and become more adventurous. I usually have to hold the cheese and switch to oil/vinegar dressing, but they are still awesome. Also awesome are fajitas with no tortillas, salmon with veggies, bunless burger with side salad and extra veggies (I used to get cottage cheese instead of fries too).
Restaurants are usually happy to make sure your meal is the way you want it. Ask questions and be friendly!
I'm also not quite sure why you can't eat all 6oz of your steak? Why afraid of oil? At home, I like to use oils that I think are healthy, but a small amount of whatever they are using won't hurt me. Eat fat...it will keep you full! Just ask for dressing on the side so you know how much you are eating and can track it better.
Also, on the road, I don't eat out for all three meals. I carry snacks with me. It's hard for me to find "dessert" anywhere so I usually carry around some nuts or dark chocolate. Coffee (decaf) can finish off a nice dinner out too.
Lastly, don't be afraid to gain a little on the road. It happens and when you get back into your routine, it will come off. I understand you are afraid of the slippery slope. But, you are the one in control of it. This is why maintenance is difficult...the learning process is trial and error and slow. You must be committed to learning from your mistakes.0 -
And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.
YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.
As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.
I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.
You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?
Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?
I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?
I do not believe she was spot on with her analysis, and quite frankly her post did sound mean. Only the OP could possibly know what is ruined for her.
:yawn:0 -
You know... you really don't have to eat the entire portion that they serve you in a restaurant. Many restaurant meals are really 2-4 servings. Each a normal portion and take the extra home to enjoy later.0
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When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there0
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I'm having HLB flashbacks.
OMG! Me too!!!!! LOL
It was my cheat day!
Nothing will ever be as epic as HLB.0 -
When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there
Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.0
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