Eating out is ruined for me now..
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I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.
The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?
What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.
Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?
So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?
End rant.
Ah, someone who gets it. Thanks, lol.
And to the others - I DID NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I was ranting. Of course I'm going to turn down all your advice and give you 'excuses' for not wanting to follow it - I know everything you've told me. I've done it. I've lost 80 pounds eating at the restaurant every other week. I'm just tired of having to always ask 'sauce on the side' or 'grilled chicken with no sauce' etc... which of course I will do if I have to. I'm just not necessarily going to enjoy it. Unless it's restaurants that give calories, so at least I know what I'm getting... and I enjoy those. I just feel bad always going to the same places.
So what would you have liked us to say to you?0 -
.... oh, food. Crap. Nevermind....
ETA: pro-tip. Move your rants to a blog, not a board specifically for "Food and Nutrition".0 -
LOL, choosing restaurant dishes based off calorie counts or perceived calorie counts means you're doing it wrong. If you're going to pay for food, go for what you think will taste the best
I would suggest that if you are going to pay for food, go for what you feel best meets your own personal goals.0 -
A healthy relationship with food doesn't mean the same things for everyone. And some people may never be able to achieve the relationship with food that you describe. Knowing your triggers, knowing what you personally need to do to stay on track, knowing yourself and your relationship with food is important.
I can understand the OP's trepidation. She's lost a lot of weight, but the battle may not be over. Maintenance is the part most people fail at. Just because what works for you and other responders does not sound right to her, does not mean she has an unhealthy relationship with food, or that she is argumentative . It may simply mean she hasn't read what she feels is a viable answer for her.
It's not as if one can't live a healthy, happy life without eating in restaurants. Why is feeling that you have to eat out or overeat on occasion sound less like an unhealthy relationship with food than thinking you can't or don't want to?
[/quote]
You are my hero! Well said!0 -
I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?
No, we are not.
You need to have a healthy relationship with food. Restricting yourself to the point where you're just miserable and can never enjoy real life again? Not healthy. Not sustainable. Doomed.
Learning to manage your social lifestyle and your weight without feelings of misery and guilt? Healthy.
Oh believe me... I'm not restricting myself by any means :laugh: But as I said, I ate too much yesterday, so I don't want to end up overeating by 600 calories again today... and even picking what seems the healthiest on the menu, you can end up doing just that. Hence my rant. I'm fine with eating a little bit more once in a while... Two days in a row? No thanks. And I had no idea my husband wanted to eat out today when I had my treats yesterday.
What I wanted people to tell me? Clearly I'm naive and delusional because I was expecting people who get it to reply for support. I should have known better.0 -
I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.
The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?
What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.
Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?
So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?
End rant.
Ah, someone who gets it. Thanks, lol.
And to the others - I DID NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I was ranting. Of course I'm going to turn down all your advice and give you 'excuses' for not wanting to follow it - I know everything you've told me. I've done it. I've lost 80 pounds eating at the restaurant every other week. I'm just tired of having to always ask 'sauce on the side' or 'grilled chicken with no sauce' etc... which of course I will do if I have to. I'm just not necessarily going to enjoy it. Unless it's restaurants that give calories, so at least I know what I'm getting... and I enjoy those. I just feel bad always going to the same places.
So if you didn't want anyone's opinion or advice why not just whine on your personal blog... instead you needed the attention... good luck to your family they will need it0 -
I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point? Wasn't it nice to just go to your favorite restaurant, order whatever you fancied that day, without even a thought or care of how many calories/fat/etc you were taking it? Her, my, and most of your lives aren't like that anymore. I used to check out menus online just to decide ahead of time which deep-fried appetizer I was going to get alongside my meal. Now it's trying to find a dinner that will be taste good and be WORTH the time and money spent going out to eat, but still be reasonable in calories etc.
The woman has lost 80 pounds - which we should be applauding by the way - so she obviously knows what type of food she needs to order to stay within her daily goals. Telling her to order lean meat/veggies and skip the bread is kind of obvious at this point, isn't it?
What I think she's trying to convey (and correct me if I'm wrong), is the overall experience of eating dinner out. What used to be enjoyable has now become stressful and gets to the point where you cringe when someone suggests you go out.
Will one 'cheat' meal ruin everything? Absolutely not. Don't you think she knows that? She doesn't want to eat a fricken cheat meal! But sometimes, in order to please friends and family, you have to go out to eat even.if.you.dont.want.to. And yeah, having to pay $12 for a salad or tiny piece of lean meat when you could have had a nutrition-dense, satisfying and tasty meal at home is KIND OF A BUMMER. WHICH IS WHY SHE IS RANTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As far as her vacation: will one week of eating out kill all of her amazing progress? Again, absolutely not. Have you ever noticed the way you feel eating fresh homecooked foods vs restaurant food? Especially for a week straight? And especially if your body isn't used to it anymore? You feel like absolute ****; bloated, yucky, etc. Is that how you want to feel on a vacation?
So honestly, isn't MFP supposed to be a place where we can come for advice and support? Don't we all have bad days where we just feel defeated or want to complain or rant about something? I think we do. To everyone who said they don't have time for complainers or negativity - why are you replying in the same fashion?
End rant.
Ah, someone who gets it. Thanks, lol.
And to the others - I DID NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I was ranting. Of course I'm going to turn down all your advice and give you 'excuses' for not wanting to follow it - I know everything you've told me. I've done it. I've lost 80 pounds eating at the restaurant every other week. I'm just tired of having to always ask 'sauce on the side' or 'grilled chicken with no sauce' etc... which of course I will do if I have to. I'm just not necessarily going to enjoy it. Unless it's restaurants that give calories, so at least I know what I'm getting... and I enjoy those. I just feel bad always going to the same places.
0 -
I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?
No, we are not.
You need to have a healthy relationship with food. Restricting yourself to the point where you're just miserable and can never enjoy real life again? Not healthy. Not sustainable. Doomed.
Learning to manage your social lifestyle and your weight without feelings of misery and guilt? Healthy.
A healthy relationship with food doesn't mean the same things for everyone. And some people may never be able to achieve the relationship with food that you describe. Knowing your triggers, knowing what you personally need to do to stay on track, knowing yourself and your relationship with food is important.
I can understand the OP's trepidation. She's lost a lot of weight, but the battle may not be over. Maintenance is the part most people fail at. Just because what works for you and other responders does not sound right to her, does not mean she has an unhealthy relationship with food, or that she is argumentative . It may simply mean she hasn't read what she feels is a viable answer for her.
It's not as if one can't live a healthy, happy life without eating in restaurants. Why is feeling that you have to eat out or overeat on occasion sound less like an unhealthy relationship with food than thinking you can't or don't want to?
I responded to the OP in a well-meaning and nice way.
Then the person I quote above basically said everyone was a big meanie and we are all struggling with the same thing.
a) I am not a big meanie
b) I'm not struggling with the same thing.
This was all in reply to the OMG You're all so mean post, not the OP.
But my point still stands: perhaps trying to get into the right relationship would bear fruit? Perhaps the attempt would be a learning experience? I don't know. I can't say. People often say things "can't be done.", "It's not possible.", "Maybe, YOU can do it...", etc. But often, they've not really tried. Or are afraid to try.0 -
I know how you feel OP. I ate my lunch for dinner last night so I"m going to chipotle for lunch because their nutrition info is very thorough, And There isn't much mystery to a burrito bowl. However other places need to up there game so I can go out more...0
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That sucks. I love eating out! I generally use it as an opportunity to really indulge and enjoy myself. I make it work by only eating out a few times a year, but that just makes it even more special when it does happen
0 -
.... oh, food. Crap. Nevermind....
ETA: pro-tip. Move your rants to a blog, not a board specifically for "Food and Nutrition".
:-D0 -
I go to girls night out and we go to a Mexican restaurant and I am the one saying "can I have a side salad with extra cucumbers and tomatoes" and I am dipping that into the salsa instead of the chips.
That's a GREAT idea! I'm totally stealing it :-)0 -
OP - don't worry about it too much. Its not like you are going out and eating every day! Once a week is fine, thats usually what I do. I eat what Im supposed to eat 6 days a week, and then I take one meal a week, usually on a saturday, and eat whatever I want. Whether it be Sushi, Dim Sum, Pizza, Wings, whatever. I don't worry about it, I don't stress about it. It actually helps you lose weight, believe it or not.
So take that time and enjoy it, don't stress!0 -
I think it's really a shame that most of the responses to her topic have been condescending, some downright rude, and overall NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.
She originally posted the topic just as a way to vent about not enjoying going out to eat as much as she previously had. Aren't we all at that point?
No, we are not.
You need to have a healthy relationship with food. Restricting yourself to the point where you're just miserable and can never enjoy real life again? Not healthy. Not sustainable. Doomed.
Learning to manage your social lifestyle and your weight without feelings of misery and guilt? Healthy.
A healthy relationship with food doesn't mean the same things for everyone. And some people may never be able to achieve the relationship with food that you describe. Knowing your triggers, knowing what you personally need to do to stay on track, knowing yourself and your relationship with food is important.
I can understand the OP's trepidation. She's lost a lot of weight, but the battle may not be over. Maintenance is the part most people fail at. Just because what works for you and other responders does not sound right to her, does not mean she has an unhealthy relationship with food, or that she is argumentative . It may simply mean she hasn't read what she feels is a viable answer for her.
It's not as if one can't live a healthy, happy life without eating in restaurants. Why is feeling that you have to eat out or overeat on occasion sound less like an unhealthy relationship with food than thinking you can't or don't want to?
I responded to the OP in a well-meaning and nice way.
Then the person I quote above basically said everyone was a big meanie and we are all struggling with the same thing.
a) I am not a big meanie
b) I'm not struggling with the same thing.
This was all in reply to the OMG You're all so mean post, not the OP.
But my point still stands: perhaps trying to get into the right relationship would bear fruit? Perhaps the attempt would be a learning experience? I don't know. I can't say. People often say things "can't be done.", "It's not possible.", "Maybe, YOU can do it...", etc. But often, they've not really tried. Or are afraid to try.
I did not mean to imply or agree that you are a meanie. I apologize if my post suggested that. But what you describe is not an irrational fear, given the failure rate for maintaining weight.
And OP, I do not mean to imply that you (or anyone else in particular) will fail.0 -
Of course I don't want to say no to the 4 plates of fudge in my coworkers office. I want to say no to the run I am going on this afternoon. I don't want to ask for sauce on the side, or a salad or veggies instead of a heaping plate of french fries. I don't want to say no to dessert. I want to say yes to fried junk, all day every day.
But, I've done that before. I've been there. That's why I have 80lbs to lose. I want to lose weight and be healthy more than I want those fries, fudge, laying on my couch... I'm finished with that stuff.
BUT I do make exceptions, I enjoy life while working towards weight loss. In August I will be chipping away at the weight for 2 years. I want to be done the weight loss phase quicker than I am going, but I want to have a happy life more. Pick your battles.0 -
It's vacation...no counting or worries. You're supposed to relax. One week will not ruin what you're going to spend the rest of your life maintaining.0
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I dine out all the time due to a mix of being busy and being lazy. I haven't really noticed any problems with it, other than I make more substitutions these days. A real easy way to reduce the calories is just to sub. out things like potatoes for green veggies (e.g., ditch the mashed potatoes, add brussel's sprouts). For instance, my dinner last night was 10 oz of filet, a double side of broccoli, a small caesar salad w/out croutons and a glass of cab, all for under 900 calories - and you could easily go lower than that.
If you try and order appetizers, dessert, cocktails, etc. I'm sure you'll end up with tons of calories for the evening, but given modern portion sizes I don't know why you'd need all of that.0 -
um.. you're forgetting to allow yourself a life while "dieting".
A day of excess will not harm you. It's daily excess that does us bad. 1 day? You can recover from that in a day or two just by going back to eating how you were eating..
Just go out to eat. - just not everyday.
ps.,.. applebees sucks.0 -
Not worth my time or trouble.
I was going to quote what you edited out and agree with you, but this works, too. It sbout sums up 3/4 of the forums, and I have the day off, sunshine, pancakes to make and two adorable little boys to spend the day with.
OP, rants are best left to your blog or wall. Forums breed advice and feedback, which you obviously don't want. Perhaps repost in the appropriate area and ask the mods to shut this thread down.
Enjoy your holiday, or enjoy complaining about a luxury many people can't afford, whichever you like.
Ttfn0
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