Stepchild acts like she doesn't want me around

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  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    This topic has gone in many directions. I just want to add that it isn't always terrible for young people to get married. I met my husband when I was 18. I was young, so decided to just be friends and get to know him. We were in college. We had this amazing friendship and we were very loving with one another and I learned a lot about what respect is, I learned to respect myself and what it means to be treated with respect. I learned what real love is, as I saw that he loved me and I was in love with him. These were very basic things that I had not learned, growing up, in my own family. I had learned the opposite. And being friends with my husband first allowed us to see things in each other and be there for one another, as friends. And when I was 20, two years after friendship I knew that he and I were in love. We started dating. And two more years of growing in our love and relationship. And we got married when I was 22 (he was 24). We had four years of marriage and then we became parents together. We will soon be celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary. So, of course some young people get married and have long happy lives together. But, my husband and I took it slow, and we did not have children to consider.

    And just want to add that if an adult lives with a child and the child is told that person is their parent (especially when they have no other parent in that place), It does not matter if the parents are married or not. That person is a step parent to that child. Whether they are good or abusive. If they are good, that is great and there is love. If they are abusive it is complicated because the child still loved them before the abuse started and the child is devastated by the abuse from that step parent. The feelings are the same whether the parents are married or not.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Sigh.

    Not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars that I was raised in a two parent household comprised of a married mother and father. From the get go. Regardless of all its imperfections and all the mistakes.

    My parents were decent enough to lay this foundation and work within its parameters. And I'm sure it involved plenty of self control and self sacrafice.

    Thank you Mother and Father. They don't make ''em like you anymore.

    Seriously. I wonder if you'd be so 'thankful' if your parents were like mine where my dad would belt the crap out of my mother in front of me & my 1yo brother. I was 5 years old when I 1st remember it happening, but I'm sure it happened more than I saw. I wonder then if you'd still want your parents to be together despite all that.

    Parameters only can take you so far with violence.

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