Corrupt a Wish

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  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Granted. You go down to the crossroads at midnight and try to flag a ride... the devil appears and you give the devil your guitar. He plays the blues on it, and gives you your guitar back. After that, you can play the guitar better than the best, and you rocket to superstardom.

    Unfortunately, the devil has taken your soul in return for this, and so your ability to experience pleasure is greatly diminished and you feel like an empty shell, not really experiencing your life any more... and no amount of fame, money or anything else, even the ability to play the guitar as well as you do, can fill the hole where you once had a soul. You turn to drugs and in the end you are found dead in your own swimming pool and your soul is trapped in oblivion.... forever.



    I wish I'd bought an Acer laptop instead of this stupid Dell one that is doing my head in.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    Granted. You go down to the crossroads at midnight and try to flag a ride... the devil appears and you give the devil your guitar. He plays the blues on it, and gives you your guitar back. After that, you can play the guitar better than the best, and you rocket to superstardom.

    Unfortunately, the devil has taken your soul in return for this, and so your ability to experience pleasure is greatly diminished and you feel like an empty shell, not really experiencing your life any more... and no amount of fame, money or anything else, even the ability to play the guitar as well as you do, can fill the hole where you once had a soul. You turn to drugs and in the end you are found dead in your own swimming pool and your soul is trapped in oblivion.... forever.

    Cool - I got a pool!

    I wish I'd bought an Acer laptop instead of this stupid Dell one that is doing my head in.

    Your Acer laptop turns out to be just as bad as the Dell. Maybe you should have opted for a Mac? (not funny but probably true).


    I wish my dog would learn to clean its own number 2's up.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Granted. Your dog has been given that thing that the apes in "dawn of the planet of the apes" had which enhanced their cognitive abilities... your dog is now super intelligent and a lot more self-conscious about where it relieves itself, so seeks out privacy and cleans up after itself so you don't have the hassle of any of that any more. However, your dog is now less satisfied with life generally, being the only super-intelligent dog in existence. It doesn't have any gripes against humans, because you've been such a good owner, so there's no worries of any repeats of the situation in planet of the apes. However, as much as your dog loves your company, it feels the need to travel around the world to "find itself" and widen its experiences and just generally be better travelled and get more out of life, so it heads off with a doggy packpack to do just that, so for the five years while your dog wanders the world gaining life experience, you're stuck at home with no pet, missing your dog's company and the dilemma as to whether you should get a new dog in the meantime and the fact that this new dog won't actually be able to clean up its own number 2's.

    I wish I had a pet falcon.
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    Granted, You and your falcon go hunting, and because your falcon is far sighted, she mistakes your eyes for her eggs and claws them out.

    I wish I had cosmic powers (without being a genie).
  • crepes_
    crepes_ Posts: 583 Member
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    Granted. You have inherited omniscience and can see through space and time. You know know the secrets of the universe, but you're realizing more and more that it's a bit too much to carry on your shoulders. Not only is humanity corrupt and you know see, hear, and feel all the negativity that exists in our society, but you now know just how close we have come to total extinction and exactly when and how it finally happens. Then you explode.

    I wish I worked in an aquarium.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    I wish I worked in an aquarium.

    Granted. A new job is invented especially for you. You get to clean up fish poo all day.

    I wish my posts didn't make me appear to be a copromaniac
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    Granted. Your posts now make you be appear to be a necrophiliac. Your obsession with feces, however, remains.

    I wish I got a good night's sleep last night.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    Granted... so good that you haven't even got up yet... you must have sleep-posted! You also sent an email to all your work colleagues offering to take them out to a very expensive restaurant... food and drinks on you.


    I wish I could run a sub 1:30 half marathon.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,679 Member
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    Congratulations! Unfortunately, you've run so fast, you don't even notice that you've pulled a hamstring until the day after your 1st place, record-time finish. OUCH! :'(

    I wish all sweets/sweet drinks were sugar-free, but still tasted like themselves instead of possessing that characteristic artificial whang that sweeteners offer (fudge still tasted like fudge, etc.).
  • TheBeerRunner
    TheBeerRunner Posts: 2,777 Member
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    Wish granted, though now everyone will die of brain cancer in 20 years.

    I wish that tomorrow it's announced that scientists have solved the problem to achieving Faster Than Light travel and will begin testing prototype FTL drives.
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    It works and the first test followed immediately, unfortunately that ship rear-ended the ship of an alien species and they aren't happy we forgot to get insurance. Their attack death fleet will arrive day after tomorrow.

    I wish for world peace. (a standard corruptible wish)
  • N2Couture
    N2Couture Posts: 2,762 Member
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    Granted; however nobody does anything but smile and 'no' is never said. The only one level of emotion in the world to keep it at peace is excessive happiness.

    I wish evilness would cease.
  • winf
    winf Posts: 764 Member
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    wish granted, but in a world without sinners no one ever recognizes a saint.

    I wish I had a 69 Camaro super sport
  • TheBeerRunner
    TheBeerRunner Posts: 2,777 Member
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    Wish granted, but the transmission blows up after you do your first burn-out, leaving you stranded in a bad neighborhood with no cell service.

    I wish that there really was a hidden treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence.
  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    Wish granted, but the map was written by Apple so it takes you to the wrong address.

    I wish to find the love of my life.
  • TheBeerRunner
    TheBeerRunner Posts: 2,777 Member
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    Wish granted, however you find out that the love of your life is also a serial killer.

    I wish that Serenity was never cancelled by FOX.
  • winf
    winf Posts: 764 Member
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    Granted, but River is now played by rosie odonell instead of summer glau.

    I wish that I had marty mcflys sports almanac from the future.
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Granted but gambling is now a capital offense.

    I wish I was better at sports.
  • HJO1403
    HJO1403 Posts: 188 Member
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    Granted except the only sports you were better at are Tiddlywinks & Frisby.

    I wish I could eat lots of chocolate and it not make me a chunk
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
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    Granted - you now vomit uncontrollably after eating chocolate.
    - I wish I had a dog

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