Shirt or no Shirt?

michelleepotter

I would wear a shirt, but that's the kind of relationship my husband and I have. He respects my feelings enough that he wouldn't ask unless it was important to him, and if it was, I'd respect that.

George_Baileys_Ghost

In...

...to hear how this person or that is doing marriage/religion/exercise apparel wrong.

lisajtubs

when I get too hot i prefer to wear just a sports bra (crop top style designed for outer wear also!) and shorts. However now I have gained weight I stick a tank over the top, but its not more comfortable! My OH has never favoured me running in these outfits.

Squidgeypaws007

Wear what you're comfortable in. If you have a controlling husband that's a whole 'nother issue. But it's hot out and hopefully you're not married to a Taliban member.

Totally this. Do what you're comfortable with Personally I'd wear the shirt, but that's really a public health service with the amount of flab I have :P

And honestly surprised at how many women would put a shirt on just because they're told to :huh:

ETA: Wow....I seem to have missed a load of responses...respect yourself and put a top on? Are boobies embarrassing then? Are tummies embarrassing? Something no one should ever see? How is it disrespectful to go out with your tummy out? I don't get why people are so constantly embarrassed and ashamed of the way their bodies are made.

SunofaBeach14

I prefer to run with no shirt and my wife often wears just a sports bra on hot days. It depends on where you live, how catty the neighborhood women are, your religious hang ups, etc., but I think this entire issue is a bit silly and comes down to doing what makes you comfortable.

EmpireBusiness

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

To my new bestie: I get the feeling you think sarcasm is inappropriate in all circumstances since I wasn't weighing in on an argument, but merely pointing out how silly it is to profess that people in relationships should completely disregard their partners opinions and wishes. You state you would let your partner walk around nude if it made her happy, but would your partner not walk nude if it would make you happy? I think the answer is probably yes. So what this boils down to is that you feel person A should do whatever it is that makes themselves happy, but never ask person B to do something to make A happy. By that rationale, I should never ask a spouse to massage my back or take the trash out for me.

The natural progression of this, of course, is that one CAN ask their partner to do things that make them happy, however you only take fault in it if it's a hot topic in feminism. How dare someone ask their spouse to wear more conservative clothing, they must be a misogynist. Clearly that's the only possible explanation. If a woman asks her female partner to be more conservative, is that misogyny as well? I'm one of the most anti-misogynistic people you'll ever meet. My thoughts and statements are products of clear logic. Anyone asking their spouse, regardless of gender, to wear something different than they currently have on, could have any of a multitude of reasons. To jump to misogyny is asinine. To assume it's controlling is ridiculous. Just because you are simple minded, does not mean that other people are constrained to those boundaries in their decisions.

Lastly, I just really adore your train of thought. You sincerely believe that asking a partner to wear something different is offensive, misogynistic, controlling and a sign of an unhealthy relationship, yet you believe completely ignoring your partner's wishes and or requests is the epitome of a perfect relationship. If you are with said person, I would hope that it's because you value their existence, their mind and more importantly their opinions and ideas. If that is the case, then to dismiss them so nonchalantly shows a true lack of respect or intelligence which is what's actually unhealthy for a relationship.

I understand that maybe you think someone should never request those things of their partner at all and that would be ideal to you, however they may have good cause. Even if it is just a matter of conservatism, what's wrong with that if that's the person they married? I doubt this is some new side that they have never seen before which goes back to my earlier comment - I assume you are with a person because you value their thoughts, so maybe they should be worth listening to?

methodman78

i'd wear whatever my partner asked me not to, just because i'm rebellious and possibly why i'm single

rml_16

Why do you feel that you need to work out in just a bra?

She said why. It's very hot. I live in Florida. I get it.

Proof that people don't read the full topic before needing to respond lol

So true. :-)

I was just thinking this over again, though, and decided I probably, no matter how taut my tummy, wouldn't wear just a sports bra, but not because I think there's anything scandalous about it. I sweat with the best of them, even on cold days. So I'm pretty much soaked through on really hot days and I need something to wipe the sweat so it doesn't sting my eyes and blind me, Easier to use my shirt than to carry a towel.

juliewatkin

And honestly surprised at how many women would put a shirt on just because they're told to :huh:

I think most people, like the above poster are over vitriolic and dogmatic in their reactions and responses. I wouldn't put a shirt on because my husband told me to. He doesn't 'tell' me to do anything any more than I 'tell' him to do anything. If something made him uncomfortable, he'd ask me and, most likely after discussing it, I would do what made him comfortable. There may be a host of reasons that it bothers him, none of which are controlling or 'taliban' like in their nature. That street goes both ways. I take his considerations into account and he does the same for me. I would be very upset if my husband dismissed me out of hand so disrespectfully the way many of you are suggesting the OP does to her husband. I'm neither prudish nor a door mat but my husband means more to me than a shirt.

SunofaBeach14

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

SunofaBeach14

And honestly surprised at how many women would put a shirt on just because they're told to :huh:

I think most people, like the above poster are over vitriolic and dogmatic in their reactions and responses. I wouldn't put a shirt on because my husband told me to. He doesn't 'tell' me to do anything any more than I 'tell' him to do anything. If something made him uncomfortable, he'd ask me and, most likely after discussing it, I would do what made him comfortable. There may be a host of reasons that it bothers him, none of which are controlling or 'taliban' like in their nature. That street goes both ways. I take his considerations into account and he does the same for me. I would be very upset if my husband dismissed me out of hand so disrespectfully the way many of you are suggesting the OP does to her husband. I'm neither prudish nor a door mat but my husband means more to me than a shirt.

I think this sums up marriage pretty well: "husbands, we're worth more than a shirt."

EmpireBusiness

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

chivalryder

My best suggestion: Do NOT go shirtless - not because of your husbands decision, but the coolest thing you can do is wear an extremely lightweight, white shirt - merino wool or linen.

Wool would be the best material because it's super soft, moisture wicking, it blocks most UV rays, and it desn't stink when you sweat in it.

Also, if you wear a shirt with sleeves, you'll significantly reduce the amount of sunscreen you need to use because your body will be covered. Since the material is white, you'll be cooler and more comfortable than if you went topless.

rml_16

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

EmpireBusiness

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

I bet you're an attorney trying to profit off the injuries.

mfp2014mfp

I wouldn't go outside in a sports bra, that's just me. If this is acceptable attire where you live go for it, but.. if it was really acceptable would you even need to post the question?

chivalryder

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

Hey, I was almost killed by a motorist who was eyeballing some girl on the other side of the street. (Yes, I'm being serious).

kaylalryan

I'd take it as a compliment....! He doesn't want all those observers to be checking out your sexy body It's all HIS...

ChrissieJH

Compromise with a sports crop top

SunofaBeach14

My best suggestion: Do NOT go shirtless - not because of your husbands decision, but the coolest thing you can do is wear an extremely lightweight, white shirt - merino wool or linen.

Wool would be the best material because it's super soft, moisture wicking, it blocks most UV rays, and it desn't stink when you sweat in it.

Also, if you wear a shirt with sleeves, you'll significantly reduce the amount of sunscreen you need to use because your body will be covered. Since the material is white, you'll be cooler and more comfortable than if you went topless.

Hawt

jec285

If it's too hot to jog unless you're nearly naked, maybe you should find an alternative form of exercise for the day, or go later/earlier in the day when it's not so hot.

rml_16

I wouldn't run or walk in my neighborhood in just my bra - sports bra or otherwise. Respect your husband, and yourself, and put some clothes on. No, I'm not really a prude...

Please go tell all those Olympic sprinter women to respect themselves and cover up. How dare they dress like *kitten* -- and on international television!

He knows her better than any of us. Maybe he feels like she is flaunting.

So what if she is? I don't get that impression, since it's pretty common for women to run in a sports bra and no top. I attend a decent amount of races and usually the women coming in first are dressed that way. But clearly they aren't serious about exercise; they're just flaunting.

What the OP decides to wear or not wear is between her and her husband and I don't have enough info to say whether he's being ridiculous. But I DO know that comments like the above quoted (both of them) are ridiculous.

And I assume the issue is the husband being concerned about male attention. Well, I've been asked on dates from men at the freaking gas station while I was wearing jeans, sneakers and a baggy T-shirt. And elderly women sleeping in their beds in flannel pajamas can be rape victims. What a woman is wearing really doesn't make that much difference most of the time.

rml_16

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

Hey, I was almost killed by a motorist who was eyeballing some girl on the other side of the street. (Yes, I'm being serious).

But how often does that actually happen?

SonicDeathMonkey80

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

Hey, I was almost killed by a motorist who was eyeballing some girl on the other side of the street. (Yes, I'm being serious).

But how often does that actually happen?

Was she cute?

MizTerry

They say it pays to advertise.

EmpireBusiness

you may be avoiding a whole lot of traffic accidents by modestly covering up a bit. Public safety should be considered and not taken lightly.

If you're serious, please turn off your television and go out into the real world.

Hey, I was almost killed by a motorist who was eyeballing some girl on the other side of the street. (Yes, I'm being serious).

But how often does that actually happen?

a lot. Watch People's Court.

jec285

Please go tell all those Olympic sprinter women to respect themselves and cover up. How dare they dress like *kitten* -- and on international television!

So what if she is? I don't get that impression, since it's pretty common for women to run in a sports bra and no top. I attend a decent amount of races and usually the women coming in first are dressed that way. But clearly they aren't serious about exercise; they're just flaunting.

What the OP decides to wear or not wear is between her and her husband and I don't have enough info to say whether he's being ridiculous. But I DO know that comments like the above quoted (both of them) are ridiculous.

I'm sure if she was about to run a marathon, or sprint in the olympics, he probably wouldn't care. He doesn't want her jogging by men who may harass her (or worse). I don't think many men have the time to harass women during a marathon, and olympic women are always surrounded by a large crowd, so there's really no safety concern there.

If you have any more specific situations where it's okay to walk around in a bra I'd be glad to shoot you down.

Care_Mia

A top with wicking would actually help keep you cooler I think. :happy:

rml_16

I'm sure if she was about to run a marathon, or sprint in the olympics, he probably wouldn't care. He doesn't want her jogging by men who may harass her (or worse).

I'll let you in on a little secret:

I jog in tank tops and baggy running shorts in the summer. In the winter, I wear long sleeves and pants.

Every time I go out, some man (or usually multiple men) honk or catcall as they pass by.

It doesn't matter what she wears.

_HeartsOnFire_

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

To my new bestie: I get the feeling you think sarcasm is inappropriate in all circumstances since I wasn't weighing in on an argument, but merely pointing out how silly it is to profess that people in relationships should completely disregard their partners opinions and wishes. You state you would let your partner walk around nude if it made her happy, but would your partner not walk nude if it would make you happy? I think the answer is probably yes. So what this boils down to is that you feel person A should do whatever it is that makes themselves happy, but never ask person B to do something to make A happy. By that rationale, I should never ask a spouse to massage my back or take the trash out for me.

The natural progression of this, of course, is that one CAN ask their partner to do things that make them happy, however you only take fault in it if it's a hot topic in feminism. How dare someone ask their spouse to wear more conservative clothing, they must be a misogynist. Clearly that's the only possible explanation. If a woman asks her female partner to be more conservative, is that misogyny as well? I'm one of the most anti-misogynistic people you'll ever meet. My thoughts and statements are products of clear logic. Anyone asking their spouse, regardless of gender, to wear something different than they currently have on, could have any of a multitude of reasons. To jump to misogyny is asinine. To assume it's controlling is ridiculous. Just because you are simple minded, does not mean that other people are constrained to those boundaries in their decisions.

Lastly, I just really adore your train of thought. You sincerely believe that asking a partner to wear something different is offensive, misogynistic, controlling and a sign of an unhealthy relationship, yet you believe completely ignoring your partner's wishes and or requests is the epitome of a perfect relationship. If you are with said person, I would hope that it's because you value their existence, their mind and more importantly their opinions and ideas. If that is the case, then to dismiss them so nonchalantly shows a true lack of respect or intelligence which is what's actually unhealthy for a relationship.

I understand that maybe you think someone should never request those things of their partner at all and that would be ideal to you, however they may have good cause. Even if it is just a matter of conservatism, what's wrong with that if that's the person they married? I doubt this is some new side that they have never seen before which goes back to my earlier comment - I assume you are with a person because you value their thoughts, so maybe they should be worth listening to?

You...I like you.