Shirt or no Shirt?

thestonalisa

Everyone who is telling you to "respect yourself" is living in the late 1800's. Showing your stomach has **** all to do with self respect. At the end of the day, it's none of your husband's concern what you wear. Put on what makes you feel good. The only person who controls how much or how little of your body you show is YOU.

EmpireBusiness

Everyone who is telling you to "respect yourself" is living in the late 1800's. Showing your stomach has **** all to do with self respect. At the end of the day, it's none of your husband's concern what you wear. Put on what makes you feel good. The only person who controls how much or how little of your body you show is YOU.

Damn straight. My gf hates that I want to go-go dance in a banana hammock at a gay club, but the way I see it is I should do what makes me feel good. They are just seeing what they would see at the beach anyways. Screw her wishes. This ain't a relationship, it's a cohabitation. Oh wait a second...

sunburntgalaxy

See my boyfriend would actually encourage me only wearing the sports bra. I am not into that for myself, but I am not a big fan of the sun (always makes me itchy just being out there in it) so that is probably why. I say do what you feel comfortable with (and if you are more comfortable avoiding an argument that works too) but you know, it is Florida so just be sure to protect yourself from the sun.

MelsAuntie

I really, really do not understand what is so scandalous about a sports bra, or exposed midriff for that matter.

I wouldn't say it's scandalous, but it will get you looked at, and some people are okay with that, and others, like me, really don't want to be stared at by strangers. I was out walking once on a local country dirt road in shorts and a tank top and two guys in a panel van slowed waaaay down and stared at me... woods both sides, no houses nearby. I did not like that at all. Never went walking that way again.

country dirt road?

perhaps did you think they slowed WAYYYYYYYYYY down so not to dust you?

that's quiet normal and polite behavior.

NO, not the way they were looking at me. It was a very unsettling experience.

rdavidson180

My own personal experience says cover up in a very light loose shirt to keep the direct sun off your skin to stay cooler. This is from working in oilfields from Texas to Alberta. I have found the same in fitness or backpacking in the western US. But we really aren't talking health though are we? I would respectfully decline the advice.

thursdaystgiles

my mind is freakin' blown by some of the responses here. I can not even remotely understand the people who seem to have a problem with a woman running/exercising in a sports bra. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? You know what I see in every neighbourhood I've ever lived it? From the gated community I grew up in, to college areas, to the ghetto when I was first on my own to the nice, middle-class suburb where I live now? Teenaged girls walking around in short shorts with tiny tube tops. Women and teenaged girls sunbathing in bikinis. Women jogging in sports bras. This was also the norm in every health club I've been to. Not all women but easily 4-5 at any given time in classes or on the treadmills, in sports bras. It's absolutely ridiculous for anyone to have a problem with this. Any sports bra on the market is going to cover at least as much as a bikini, and no one blinks an eye over that. This is just more of the puritanical, backwards, hypocritical bull that goes on when women breastfeeding in public. 98% of them manage to show less skin than a bikini or low top, but somehow it's ~different if it's labelled underwear or if there's a kid nursing. Grow the heck up, people!

For me personally I only wear a shirt because I'm uncomfortable with my body. As soon as I lose another 30lb, I'm going to be running in my sports bra, too. I just want a flatter stomach.

thestonalisa

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

EvgeniZyntx

Is a sports bra or even a bikini appropriate to wear as you run through your neighborhood? It's more than just the hubby we are talking here. Do you have a Homeowner Association that frowns upon barely clothed ladies or men running through the neighborhood? Do you have a hyper conservative mother in the neighborhood that will cause trouble cause you exposed your body to their young 8 year old boy as you jogged by their house? Just something more to think about. Carry on as you feel comfortable. :-)

First, I would never move somewhere with a dress code. This is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day.
Second, the FAT conservative mom (because in my mind she is a sad jealous overweight women) should be happy that her son his seeing people exercising and shouldn't waste her energy on some random women she doesn't know running in a sport bra.

But you do live somewhere with a dress code. Can you really go and have a run topless? How about a little shopping at Target without pants?

The only reason to ask a bunch of random strangers on a fitness site is to get confirmation to dress as you like - there can be various reasons between two people that are in a relationship to consider how the other person dresses - these might include (what we generally consider) unacceptable reasons such as dominance and misplaced jealousy. But this might also depend on a bunch of personal reasons (of religious, relational and even neighborhood rules...) this is really a thing to clear out with the hubs.
It really isn't clear why he thinks it's inappropriate in the OP post.

Because we conform to social rules of dress constantly it's somehow unacceptable for a SO to voice their preference?

Gosh, I must be bored today.

rogerOb1

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

So your response to the clearly sarcastic post is that OP is OK to go topless, and then start ranting about covering up adams apples? Not sure if serious, so I think that gives you the Win!

These posts that suggest someone cant have an opinion about their own partner are ridiculous. Of course she will make her own decision in the end, but if strangers on a website have an opinion about what she does, why wouldn't her own husband who actually gaf about her.

LynneW1983

Go for it, I would if I didn't have a stretch marked stomach.

michelleepotter

I would wear a shirt, but that's the kind of relationship my husband and I have. He respects my feelings enough that he wouldn't ask unless it was important to him, and if it was, I'd respect that.

George_Baileys_Ghost

In...

...to hear how this person or that is doing marriage/religion/exercise apparel wrong.

lisajtubs

when I get too hot i prefer to wear just a sports bra (crop top style designed for outer wear also!) and shorts. However now I have gained weight I stick a tank over the top, but its not more comfortable! My OH has never favoured me running in these outfits.

Squidgeypaws007

Wear what you're comfortable in. If you have a controlling husband that's a whole 'nother issue. But it's hot out and hopefully you're not married to a Taliban member.

Totally this. Do what you're comfortable with Personally I'd wear the shirt, but that's really a public health service with the amount of flab I have :P

And honestly surprised at how many women would put a shirt on just because they're told to :huh:

ETA: Wow....I seem to have missed a load of responses...respect yourself and put a top on? Are boobies embarrassing then? Are tummies embarrassing? Something no one should ever see? How is it disrespectful to go out with your tummy out? I don't get why people are so constantly embarrassed and ashamed of the way their bodies are made.

SunofaBeach14

I prefer to run with no shirt and my wife often wears just a sports bra on hot days. It depends on where you live, how catty the neighborhood women are, your religious hang ups, etc., but I think this entire issue is a bit silly and comes down to doing what makes you comfortable.

EmpireBusiness

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.

To my new bestie: I get the feeling you think sarcasm is inappropriate in all circumstances since I wasn't weighing in on an argument, but merely pointing out how silly it is to profess that people in relationships should completely disregard their partners opinions and wishes. You state you would let your partner walk around nude if it made her happy, but would your partner not walk nude if it would make you happy? I think the answer is probably yes. So what this boils down to is that you feel person A should do whatever it is that makes themselves happy, but never ask person B to do something to make A happy. By that rationale, I should never ask a spouse to massage my back or take the trash out for me.

The natural progression of this, of course, is that one CAN ask their partner to do things that make them happy, however you only take fault in it if it's a hot topic in feminism. How dare someone ask their spouse to wear more conservative clothing, they must be a misogynist. Clearly that's the only possible explanation. If a woman asks her female partner to be more conservative, is that misogyny as well? I'm one of the most anti-misogynistic people you'll ever meet. My thoughts and statements are products of clear logic. Anyone asking their spouse, regardless of gender, to wear something different than they currently have on, could have any of a multitude of reasons. To jump to misogyny is asinine. To assume it's controlling is ridiculous. Just because you are simple minded, does not mean that other people are constrained to those boundaries in their decisions.

Lastly, I just really adore your train of thought. You sincerely believe that asking a partner to wear something different is offensive, misogynistic, controlling and a sign of an unhealthy relationship, yet you believe completely ignoring your partner's wishes and or requests is the epitome of a perfect relationship. If you are with said person, I would hope that it's because you value their existence, their mind and more importantly their opinions and ideas. If that is the case, then to dismiss them so nonchalantly shows a true lack of respect or intelligence which is what's actually unhealthy for a relationship.

I understand that maybe you think someone should never request those things of their partner at all and that would be ideal to you, however they may have good cause. Even if it is just a matter of conservatism, what's wrong with that if that's the person they married? I doubt this is some new side that they have never seen before which goes back to my earlier comment - I assume you are with a person because you value their thoughts, so maybe they should be worth listening to?

methodman78

i'd wear whatever my partner asked me not to, just because i'm rebellious and possibly why i'm single

rml_16

Why do you feel that you need to work out in just a bra?

She said why. It's very hot. I live in Florida. I get it.

Proof that people don't read the full topic before needing to respond lol

So true. :-)

I was just thinking this over again, though, and decided I probably, no matter how taut my tummy, wouldn't wear just a sports bra, but not because I think there's anything scandalous about it. I sweat with the best of them, even on cold days. So I'm pretty much soaked through on really hot days and I need something to wipe the sweat so it doesn't sting my eyes and blind me, Easier to use my shirt than to carry a towel.

juliewatkin

And honestly surprised at how many women would put a shirt on just because they're told to :huh:

I think most people, like the above poster are over vitriolic and dogmatic in their reactions and responses. I wouldn't put a shirt on because my husband told me to. He doesn't 'tell' me to do anything any more than I 'tell' him to do anything. If something made him uncomfortable, he'd ask me and, most likely after discussing it, I would do what made him comfortable. There may be a host of reasons that it bothers him, none of which are controlling or 'taliban' like in their nature. That street goes both ways. I take his considerations into account and he does the same for me. I would be very upset if my husband dismissed me out of hand so disrespectfully the way many of you are suggesting the OP does to her husband. I'm neither prudish nor a door mat but my husband means more to me than a shirt.

SunofaBeach14

To EmpireBusines: I get the feeling you're being sarcastic (which isn't a very mature way to weigh in on an argument). Being in a relationship doesn't give you a monopoly over your significant other's body. If my girlfriend wanted to parade down the streets of New York City wearing nothing but a propellor hat, I'd be at the end of the block, cheering her on. You are just one of many guys on this board who are under the misconception that dating someone gives you power over how much skin that person shows. Sorry, but that's not a healthy relationship; that's misogyny. If some creep ever asked me to cover up for his sake, I'd laugh and tell him to hit the road. OP could go jogging completely topless and it would be no one's business but her own.

Also, before anyone comes back with the BS argument that we should cover up sexual organs in public, breasts aren't sexual organs at all. They're secondary sex characteristics. You know what other things are secondary sex characteristics? Your facial hair and your Adam's apple. So if we're going to mandate that secondary sex characteristics should be covered up, all you guys can go ahead and put paper bags over your faces now.