Letting Friends Disagree

SunofaBeach14

I think we should. I think we should let friends disagree with each other and reach a resolution on their own. I think we could all save ourselves hours and hours of grief if we would just keep our noses out of minor disagreements, let the two people who disagree have it out, and then work it out. When we all jump into the fray it only tends to escalate it like a bunch of children standing around two former best-friends screaming "fight, fight, fight." We represent a variety of nationalities, races, cultures, and educational and political backgrounds. Not one of us has the secret to the truth or any special hold on right and wrong. Let people work out their differences. Oh, and treat each other fairly when you do have a disagreement.

And, to avoid being accused of getting on my high horse, I'm not. I've certainly crossed the line and played the *kitten* on occasion. I deeply regret it. No good ever came of it. There are plenty of good people on here, and frankly, there isn't a single person on this site for whom I've developed any sort of deep personal dislike. It's the interwebs. Try to fight fair and treat it all with a grain of salt. Just my humble two cents. You're certainly entitled to yours.

MyChocolateDiet

b/c http://www.hulu.com/watch/379574

BinaryPulsar

:drinker: :flowerforyou:

BinaryPulsar

b/c http://www.hulu.com/watch/379574

I can't watch this because I'm in Canada. :ohwell:

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I disagree.



:laugh:

BinaryPulsar

I disagree.



:laugh:

Oh no, friends, don't fight!!

MyChocolateDiet

b/c http://www.hulu.com/watch/379574

I can't watch this because I'm in Canada. :ohwell:

I think New York is closer to Canadia than Hulu....try this one

http://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000001183275/the-umbrella-man.html

oregonzoo

I'm a lover not a fighter
Unless mud is involved

SunofaBeach14

I'm a lover not a fighter
Unless mud is involved

For the record, I'm pro mud. And Jello. Particularly, lime Jello.

bennettinfinity

I think we should. I think we should let friends disagree with each other and reach a resolution on their own. I think we could all save ourselves hours and hours of grief if we would just keep our noses out of minor disagreements, let the two people who disagree have it out, and then work it out. When we all jump into the fray it only tends to escalate it like a bunch of children standing around two former best-friends screaming "fight, fight, fight." We represent a variety of nationalities, races, cultures, and educational and political backgrounds. Not one of us has the secret to the truth or any special hold on right and wrong. Let people work out their differences. Oh, and treat each other fairly when you do have a disagreement.

And, to avoid being accused of getting on my high horse, I'm not. I've certainly crossed the line and played the *kitten* on occasion. I deeply regret it. No good ever came of it. There are plenty of good people on here, and frankly, there isn't a single person on this site for whom I've developed any sort of deep personal dislike. It's the interwebs. Try to fight fair and treat it all with a grain of salt. Just my humble two cents. You're certainly entitled to yours.

Words of wisdom - but what do you do when said friends *insist* on dragging you into the fray?

I currently find myself in such a situation IRL... two friends on the outs... both friends constantly bait me to bad-mouth the other... I defer, of course, because individually they're both still *my* friends, but I feel so much pressure to pick a side that now I find that I avoid them both.

They're problem is with each other, but I'll probably end up losing two friends out of the deal... irony?

Oi_Sunshine

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

Oi_Sunshine

I'm a lover not a fighter
Unless mud is involved

For the record, I'm pro mud. And Jello. Particularly, lime Jello.

I haven't had jello in years and now I want lime jello. :grumble:

SunofaBeach14

I think we should. I think we should let friends disagree with each other and reach a resolution on their own. I think we could all save ourselves hours and hours of grief if we would just keep our noses out of minor disagreements, let the two people who disagree have it out, and then work it out. When we all jump into the fray it only tends to escalate it like a bunch of children standing around two former best-friends screaming "fight, fight, fight." We represent a variety of nationalities, races, cultures, and educational and political backgrounds. Not one of us has the secret to the truth or any special hold on right and wrong. Let people work out their differences. Oh, and treat each other fairly when you do have a disagreement.

And, to avoid being accused of getting on my high horse, I'm not. I've certainly crossed the line and played the *kitten* on occasion. I deeply regret it. No good ever came of it. There are plenty of good people on here, and frankly, there isn't a single person on this site for whom I've developed any sort of deep personal dislike. It's the interwebs. Try to fight fair and treat it all with a grain of salt. Just my humble two cents. You're certainly entitled to yours.

Words of wisdom - but what do you do when said friends *insist* on dragging you into the fray?

I currently find myself in such a situation IRL... two friends on the outs... both friends constantly bait me to bad-mouth the other... I defer, of course, because individually they're both still *my* friends, but I feel so much pressure to pick a side that now I find that I avoid them both.

They're problem is with each other, but I'll probably end up losing two friends out of the deal... irony?

Tell them what you think. That you don't want to get pulled into it. That you think they're both great people and are both mature and intelligent enough to work it out amongst themselves. And, that the first one who gives you an ultimatum gets deleted. I received them and given them, and they are never fair. And besides, this is the internet, it doesn't affect anyone's career, long-standing relationship, or their money.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

BinaryPulsar

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

oregonzoo

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Let's go!

You, me, and cherry jello whipped crap parfait!

SunofaBeach14

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

I'm a giver

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

Why is the flavour important? Do you have a story to share OP?

BinaryPulsar

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

Yeah, not in all cases. Only when it applies.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Let's go!

You, me, and cherry jello whipped crap parfait!

I am down! Who wants to wrestle the winner?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

I'm a giver

Excellent, I am a taker.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Let's go!

You, me, and cherry jello whipped crap parfait!

I am down! Who wants to wrestle the winner?

*looks about*


*raises hand*

Derpes

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Wait a sec....I was told that the wrestling was to take place in tapioca pudding....

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Wait a sec....I was told that the wrestling was to take place in tapioca pudding....

That a different movie.

wheird

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

Ninkyou

I'm a lover not a fighter
Unless mud is involved

For the record, I'm pro mud. And Jello. Particularly, lime Jello.

How do you feel about Cream Corn Wrestling?

Birder155

Are there donuts in this thread?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

I always like being in the middle....


Wait, what are we talking about again?

BinaryPulsar

I think people should play fair. If someone isn't playing fair, it's ok to extend a hand to your friend. But, not to jump in and also play unfair or basically be shouting "fight, fight, fight" from the sidelines.

Friends may ask for support, someone to talk to, they may want to defend themselves if untrue things were said about them, etc. That's not getting pulled in the middle.

Oi_Sunshine

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

Yeah, not in all cases. Only when it applies.

Yeah, not all cases. If there is abuse or manipulation then obviously the person is not usually good natured and steps need to be taken to protect yourself. And you have to ask yourself why you are allowing them entrance into your life in the first place. But it takes a careful judgment as to whether the person is good natured and having a bad moment or generally bad natured with the occasional good moment for show.