Letting Friends Disagree

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

I'm a giver

Excellent, I am a taker.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Let's go!

You, me, and cherry jello whipped crap parfait!

I am down! Who wants to wrestle the winner?

*looks about*


*raises hand*

Derpes

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Wait a sec....I was told that the wrestling was to take place in tapioca pudding....

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Wait a sec....I was told that the wrestling was to take place in tapioca pudding....

That a different movie.

wheird

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

Ninkyou

I'm a lover not a fighter
Unless mud is involved

For the record, I'm pro mud. And Jello. Particularly, lime Jello.

How do you feel about Cream Corn Wrestling?

Birder155

Are there donuts in this thread?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

I always like being in the middle....


Wait, what are we talking about again?

BinaryPulsar

I think people should play fair. If someone isn't playing fair, it's ok to extend a hand to your friend. But, not to jump in and also play unfair or basically be shouting "fight, fight, fight" from the sidelines.

Friends may ask for support, someone to talk to, they may want to defend themselves if untrue things were said about them, etc. That's not getting pulled in the middle.

Oi_Sunshine

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

Yeah, not in all cases. Only when it applies.

Yeah, not all cases. If there is abuse or manipulation then obviously the person is not usually good natured and steps need to be taken to protect yourself. And you have to ask yourself why you are allowing them entrance into your life in the first place. But it takes a careful judgment as to whether the person is good natured and having a bad moment or generally bad natured with the occasional good moment for show.

BinaryPulsar

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

Yeah, not in all cases. Only when it applies.

Yeah, not all cases. If there is abuse or manipulation then obviously the person is not usually good natured and steps need to be taken to protect yourself. And you have to ask yourself why you are allowing them entrance into your life in the first place. But it takes a careful judgment as to whether the person is good natured and having a bad moment or generally bad natured with the occasional good moment for show.

Yes, I agree!! Most of the time the people are the same good natured people they have always been, and trusting that and giving the benefit of the doubt is what friendship is. But, sometimes we find out someone was not who we thought they were.

And online it's not that serious. To unfriend or whatever is just casual. It doesn't mean something serious.

Oi_Sunshine

Disagreements are not necessarily negative, but how people handle it can certainly be. A mentor told me to always assume your spouse has the best of intentions. I think this would apply to friendships, as well. If you are friends with someone, I think that is a judgment that the person is a good natured person, so even in an argument you need to assume they are still that same person.

If someone crossed a line, hopefully they are good natured enough to admit it and apologize.

And unless you are willing to take a permanent side, it's best to stay neutral, because it feels like a permanent choice to the one left unchosen.

I agree with this.

I agree, in most cases.

Yeah, not in all cases. Only when it applies.

Yeah, not all cases. If there is abuse or manipulation then obviously the person is not usually good natured and steps need to be taken to protect yourself. And you have to ask yourself why you are allowing them entrance into your life in the first place. But it takes a careful judgment as to whether the person is good natured and having a bad moment or generally bad natured with the occasional good moment for show.

Yes, I agree!! Most of the time the people are the same good natured people they have always been, and trusting that and giving the benefit of the doubt is what friendship is. But, sometimes we find out someone was not who we thought they were.

And online it's not that serious. To unfriend or whatever is just casual. It doesn't mean something serious.

True enough about online stuff. Now I do believe we are standing in the way of a jello wrestle, so I will take my leave.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I heard there was jello wrestling here...

Let's go!

You, me, and cherry jello whipped crap parfait!

I am down! Who wants to wrestle the winner?

*looks about*


*raises hand*

Me next! But only cherry jello. None of this lime crap.

George_Baileys_Ghost

Also available to be put in the middle.

Achrya

But what if I like conflict?

SunofaBeach14

But what if I like conflict?

Just hop right into the jello

ihad

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

It isn't fun.

If I do it, it's on me. My choice to get in the fight. I don't do it often, but sometimes there's an important reason.

When I find myself getting pulled into a disagreement, I ask myself who is pulling me into this situation, and exactly why are they doing it. Why do they feel a need to put me in this situation? What is their motivation for dragging me into this mess?

SunofaBeach14

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

It isn't fun.

If I do it, it's on me. My choice to get in the fight. I don't do it often, but sometimes there's an important reason.

When I find myself getting pulled into a disagreement, I ask myself who is pulling me into this situation, and exactly why are they doing it. Why do they feel a need to put me in this situation? What is their motivation for dragging me into this mess?

At least IRL, I think a good friend is the one that will tell us to "cool it" rather than egging us on.

That, and on here, there are very few important issues. Debates about nutrition? Sure. Vitally important issues? I'm having trouble coming up with much, at least anything that anyone on here honestly wants to actually touch when those threads do crop up.

ihad

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

It isn't fun.

If I do it, it's on me. My choice to get in the fight. I don't do it often, but sometimes there's an important reason.

When I find myself getting pulled into a disagreement, I ask myself who is pulling me into this situation, and exactly why are they doing it. Why do they feel a need to put me in this situation? What is their motivation for dragging me into this mess?

At least IRL, I think a good friend is the one that will tell us to "cool it" rather than egging us on.

That, and on here, there are very few important issues. Debates about nutrition? Sure. Vitally important issues? I'm having trouble coming up with much, at least anything that anyone on here honestly wants to actually touch when those threads do crop up.

I agree. When people egg things on, it doesn't help anything. There's a lot of value in encouraging people to step back and cool off a bit. Senseless fighting doesn't help anything.

Achrya

I have been there. Both putting myself between and being thrown between.

It isn't very pleasant.

It isn't fun.

If I do it, it's on me. My choice to get in the fight. I don't do it often, but sometimes there's an important reason.

When I find myself getting pulled into a disagreement, I ask myself who is pulling me into this situation, and exactly why are they doing it. Why do they feel a need to put me in this situation? What is their motivation for dragging me into this mess?

This is an interesting viewpoint. If two 'friends' are disagreeing and one friend pulls you into something are both friends actually at fault? Afterall, friend B can't stop friend A from trying to yank in outsiders, right? So in cases where one feels pressure to pick sides...would is not make sense to consider why you're being made to pick in the first place.


Interesting thoughts indeed.