Say wha?!?!? Worlds most awkward conversation starters

oregonzoo
oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
in Chit-Chat
Things people come up and say to you randomly out if nowhere...


"So what nationality are you anyways"
Huh?! What?!? Why?!?




Add your own for a truly awkwardly delightful thread!
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Replies

  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    *scratches crotch*

    Want me to make dinner?
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    "I don't mean to be rude, but....." .

    Always followed by something rude.
  • MelaniLight
    MelaniLight Posts: 738 Member
    Creepy guy walks up next to me, extends his hand as if to shake mine, and says....

    "Hi, I'm Mike...My girlfriend told me to smell you."

    Seriously, this happened at a convenience store.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    "Hi!"

    *shiver*

    Some people creep me out by their mere presence
  • _m0lly
    _m0lly Posts: 900 Member
    "Can I ask you something?"

    200_s.gif

    It is never a good thing.
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    Old lady comes up to my wife and me with our first kid in a stroller. She looks right at me and asks, "Is the baby yours?"

    I told her we are sure it's mine but we are not sure she is the mother.

    Win.
  • Lofteren
    Lofteren Posts: 960 Member
    "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

    Gets em everytime
  • LadyRN76
    LadyRN76 Posts: 4,275 Member
    Creepy guy walks up next to me, extends his hand as if to shake mine, and says....

    "Hi, I'm Mike...My girlfriend told me to smell you."

    Seriously, this happened at a convenience store.

    I was getting a drink at a convenience store - and felt someone behind me and heard the long sniff - whipped around and the grungiest backwoods no teeth MF'er was like...wow..your hair smells like coconuts. I told him unless he wanted to no longer have his nuts...he'd best back off.
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    Unknown
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  • burning2much
    burning2much Posts: 4,846 Member
    Had a girl come up to me at a party and ask if I was into threesomes...thank goodness there was another girl with her!
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member

    "So what nationality are you anyways"
    Huh?! What?!? Why?!?

    rs_500x235-131003123655-Sx7UO.gif
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
    When my twins were babies, a woman came up to me in a parking lot and asked if they were twins (this happened all the time).
    When I said yes, she said "they can't be; that one has to be at least six months older than the other..."

    Her husband and I exchanged looks. It was just awkward.
  • Drama_Free_Zone
    Drama_Free_Zone Posts: 149
    "Oh dear.. you just have beautiful eyes..."

    "If I were 15 years younger...

    "Oh honey, you can look at me and whisper all you like.."


    I get one of these, or a variation of them, at least twice a week. Gas stations are the bane of my existence.

    :grumble: :grumble:

    And.. damnit, Im a guy!
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    To me, when I had my one year old daughter (in a dress and earrings): How old is your son?
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Nice gait. Have you always been a man?
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    pardon-me-grey-poupon-mustard-demotivational-posters-1303851345.jpeg
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Are your breasts real?









    No, seriously oregonzoo, I'm asking; they look too good to be true.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    "Oh gosh, really... do you mind just giving me that baby"


    Um. Yes. I do.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    "I'm sorry, I have to fart" while riding with me in an elevator.

    At least he let me know first.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    "I'm sorry, I have to fart" while riding with me in an elevator.

    At least he let me know first.

    my *kitten* speaks for itself.
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    I was at a Truck stop convenience store and a driver was in line behind me and said...

    "Wow young lady you smell so clean.."

    WTF? What kind of women have you been around lately?
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Are your breasts real?









    No, seriously oregonzoo, I'm asking; they look too good to be true.
    I'm not a Seinfeld fan. But there's a quote from that show that I've always found useful."They're real and they're spectacular".
  • Drama_Free_Zone
    Drama_Free_Zone Posts: 149
    I was at a Truck stop convenience store and a driver was in line behind me and said...

    "Wow young lady you smell so clean.."

    WTF? What kind of women have you been around lately?

    Truck stop.. Truckers... Lot Lizards. If you know what those are then you know where that comment came from! :laugh: :laugh:
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
    Are your breasts real?


    No, seriously oregonzoo, I'm asking; they look too good to be true.
    I'm not a Seinfeld fan. But there's a quote from that show that I've always found useful."They're real and they're spectacular".

    I seriously have to remember that one.

    I usually get hello...aimed at around my chest level. I usually quickly cover their eyes and ask what colour is my hair or eyes or something like that.
  • sixout
    sixout Posts: 3,128 Member
    I had a girl come up to me at a bar and tell me that she was going to get trashed so she couldn't remember me in the morning. I did not know her, and did not want to have sex with her.

    Then she punched a friend of mine because he wasn't gay. I don't even know.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    Creepy guy walks up next to me, extends his hand as if to shake mine, and says....

    "Hi, I'm Mike...My girlfriend told me to smell you."

    Seriously, this happened at a convenience store.

    I was getting a drink at a convenience store - and felt someone behind me and heard the long sniff - whipped around and the grungiest backwoods no teeth MF'er was like...wow..your hair smells like coconuts. I told him unless he wanted to no longer have his nuts...he'd best back off.


    Wait one hot minute! Is sniffing people in public frowned upon?
  • wndrwmn86
    wndrwmn86 Posts: 507 Member
    I'm afraid I said this one at a bar to a guy that offered to buy me a drink....because I am horribly awkward when I find a man attractive.

    **him** Hi can I buy you a drink?

    **me** I like zombies, they are cool....they eat brains.....yep...*walks away*

    Yeah my brain stopped working
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    "So, you like crabs?" in the trying to pick you up tone...
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    To me, when I had my one year old daughter (in a dress and earrings): How old is your son?
    Same here.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    "Hey man, your balls are showing. Bumblebee tuna."

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