Say wha?!?!? Worlds most awkward conversation starters

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  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    I had a co worker come into my office to introduce himself, have a nice conversation, then fart enthusiastically and leave without a word.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Let me re-introduce what I wrote to some t**twaffle on the IVF thread yesterday...



    Here are some really irritating openings:

    "Please don't take this personally, but...."
    "I don't expect you to understand..."
    "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear..."
    "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
    "You probably won't know the answer to this, but..."
    "I'm sure you're not the right person to ask, but..."
    "Considering your age..."
    "Are those real?"


    There are many words for posts like yours. Some that come to mind are presumptuous, condescending, grandstanding, douchebaggy...
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    you forgot the d
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    where's your d?
    ^^This.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    Give me your D.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    you forgot the d

    You'll get the d later.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
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    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Stop being so quick to the punch, man!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    Give me your D.

    How YOU Doin? :blushing: :love: :flowerforyou:
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
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    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Adding the D was hard?
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    I once told a stranger that people probably weren't his friend because he was a Gingerbearded Canadian. (first thing I ever said to hi)


    Interestingly enough we are now good friends...


    Sometimes awkward is for the win.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."

    I always answer with "Nah, they're both horse jockeys".
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    One of my very best male friends ended up that way by asking "can I pee in your butt?" First words I ever heard him say. :laugh:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Adding the D was hard?

    sometimes it's hard to get the d
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."

    I always answer with "Nah, they're both horse jockeys".

    My answer has always been milk and synthetic growth hormones.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    mumbler...
    24en7ea.gif
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
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    I am seriously the queen of getting weird/creepy remarks lol

    While changing my shoes in public (the pair I was wearing got caught and split), some guy comes up and goes "I like your feet, can you put them in my face"

    While at the mall, some guy stalked me for 20 minutes, comes up and sniffs me, saying "mmmm.....you smell so good" and tries to kiss me

    Guy comes up to me and tells me he likes his women big....actually that's happened multiple times....

    Guy comes up and asks me out. I say no, he tells me I was ugly anyway.

    At the gym, some guy comes up to me and says if I was 50 lbs thinner, he'd be all over me.

    Squatting at the gym, guy goes "reaalllyy nice form"; creepy voice and wink to go with

    And yes I could go on lol
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    "Excuse me, I think you have a ferret living in your head."

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