Say wha?!?!? Worlds most awkward conversation starters

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  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    I generally don't start conversations with strangers. I just start humping their legs. It doesn't go over so well. I'll know I've found my soul mate when I hump a random guy at the grocery store and he doesn't start yelling at me. :love:

    Sorry about the mess......I got so excited I couldn't help it.

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  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    Oh, and since this is on topic:

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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    This is a question I get often when someone asks what I'm doing this weekend.

    I tell them I have a soccer game and they ask " Are you coaching?"

    I guess I look too old to still be playing. But, I'm still playing.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    You remember me? You took my mama to jail.
  • OhhNiff
    OhhNiff Posts: 1,397 Member
    What about the "I think you went to school with my uncle's brother's best friend's sister"?
  • FatPanda93
    FatPanda93 Posts: 9
    I stupidly got a ride from an elderly man to college one day. This is the conversation
    "Are you married?"
    now, I did have my ring on, so I guess he must have seen it. "Yes."
    "Oh cool. How old are you?"
    Thinking nothing about this i said "18"
    now starts the awkward.. "Do you smoke weed?"
    "No, I do not"
    "Oh, neither do I" Sure.. sure.. randomly ask a person if they smoke but you dont.
    "Too bad you have school to go to. We could go to a bar"
    I didnt respond, but got out as quickly as I could.. I mean.. I was 18, married, had school within an hour.. it was 7 in the morning.. what the hell. Never accepted a ride again.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    So a year ago, I was on a plane to Arizona for a work conference. The creepy guy behind me kept sniffing my hair. I turned around because I was finally tired of his weirdness, and he said "what? I like to look out the window." Really? So you have to put your chin on MY chair and sniff my hair in long, drawn out breaths in order to look out the window? What's wrong with your window? Everyone at work seemed to get a laugh out of this.

    On another plane trip for work, this time to Florida, I saw this lady crying while trying to find her seat. She rudely asked the guy behind her to hold one of her bags while she put stuff in the overhead. She was coming right for me. I was saddened. She was crying like her husband cheated on her or some.. .stuff, and I seriously did not want to engage with her. I was in the aisle seat, and my coworker was in the window seat, so of course she got the seat in between us. This lady was like bawling, almost obnoxiously. So I decided to offer her my book of sudoku to keep her mind preoccupied. My stupid coworker decided to pretend to be asleep so she wouldn't get involved in it...Then it happened... she decided to tell me her story....

    She thanked me for the sudoku and said it had just been a bad day. She was at the airport when her husband called..................... and said her baby goat died.

    WHAT!!?!? YOUR FREAKIN' GOAT DIED and you are acting like a hysterical crazy person!!? You should have seen my face when she said that.. I tried to be nice and say consoling things like, "oh, wow. that's terrible. that must be hard for you." So we had this long conversation about her goat. When we got off the plane, I gave my coworker a ration of crap for leaving me alone with that crazy. The lady tracked me down in the airport and thanked me for talking with her and letting her have my sudoku book. The rest of my coworkers thought it was hilarious that the one pretended to be asleep and left me alone to deal with the goat lady.

    I haven't had many great plane experiences.

    By the way... Goat lady, if you are on MFP........ Sorry about the story. :ohwell:

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