Say wha?!?!? Worlds most awkward conversation starters

135

Replies

  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    I had a co worker come into my office to introduce himself, have a nice conversation, then fart enthusiastically and leave without a word.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Let me re-introduce what I wrote to some t**twaffle on the IVF thread yesterday...



    Here are some really irritating openings:

    "Please don't take this personally, but...."
    "I don't expect you to understand..."
    "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear..."
    "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
    "You probably won't know the answer to this, but..."
    "I'm sure you're not the right person to ask, but..."
    "Considering your age..."
    "Are those real?"


    There are many words for posts like yours. Some that come to mind are presumptuous, condescending, grandstanding, douchebaggy...
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    you forgot the d
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    where's your d?
    ^^This.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    Give me your D.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    you forgot the d

    You'll get the d later.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Stop being so quick to the punch, man!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    Give me your D.

    How YOU Doin? :blushing: :love: :flowerforyou:
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Adding the D was hard?
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I once told a stranger that people probably weren't his friend because he was a Gingerbearded Canadian. (first thing I ever said to hi)


    Interestingly enough we are now good friends...


    Sometimes awkward is for the win.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."

    I always answer with "Nah, they're both horse jockeys".
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
    One of my very best male friends ended up that way by asking "can I pee in your butt?" First words I ever heard him say. :laugh:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    listen, you guys make ninja editing impossible. stop making things so hard.

    :smokin:

    Adding the D was hard?

    sometimes it's hard to get the d
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."

    I always answer with "Nah, they're both horse jockeys".

    My answer has always been milk and synthetic growth hormones.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    If you'd like I could be your boyfrien

    mumbler...
    24en7ea.gif
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
    I am seriously the queen of getting weird/creepy remarks lol

    While changing my shoes in public (the pair I was wearing got caught and split), some guy comes up and goes "I like your feet, can you put them in my face"

    While at the mall, some guy stalked me for 20 minutes, comes up and sniffs me, saying "mmmm.....you smell so good" and tries to kiss me

    Guy comes up to me and tells me he likes his women big....actually that's happened multiple times....

    Guy comes up and asks me out. I say no, he tells me I was ugly anyway.

    At the gym, some guy comes up to me and says if I was 50 lbs thinner, he'd be all over me.

    Squatting at the gym, guy goes "reaalllyy nice form"; creepy voice and wink to go with

    And yes I could go on lol
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    "Excuse me, I think you have a ferret living in your head."
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Random people getting all excited about my height-- "How'd you get so tall? Your parents must be tall. Are they tall?"

    When I was a kid, it caught me off guard, but now I can answer with a simple, "That's just the way it worked out, I guess."

    I always answer with "Nah, they're both horse jockeys".

    My answer has always been milk and synthetic growth hormones.

    Both great answers. I'll have to remember those so I can change up my answers a bit.
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
    Oh and the people asking me "what I am" because I have an exotic look apparently...

    Then all the height remarks lol
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I had a guy pull up next to me at a traffic light

    Him: You are beautiful!
    Me: Thank you. (with a smile)
    Him: Wanna job?

    Kinda ruined that nice feeling of being complimented by a stranger. :frown:
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
    I like to walk up to people, run my finger the length of their shoulder, stick my finger in my mouth as if to taste it and say, "You'll do."

    OMG. I am SO going to start doing this.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    "Can I ask you something?"

    200_s.gif

    It is never a good thing.

    I have seen this end well ONE time. Just once.

    I was with my cousin, who's married to her female partner. When her wife was pregnant, a waitress at the restaurant we were eating at approached her at the end of the meal and said, "can I ask you something?"

    We all kind of prepared to be on defense, because, well... controversy.

    Anyway, turned out that the woman was also in a lesbian relationship and wanted information on who to contact/costs of having children. It ended up being a very pleasant conversation.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    My most awkward conversation starter actually happened to my grandma when I was with her.

    Some woman RAN across a busy road and nearly screamed at my poor grams, "what brand and shade is your hair?! I've been trying for that at the salon for years!"

    She's a natural redhead. So awkward.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I had a guy pull up next to me at a traffic light

    Him: You are beautiful!
    Me: Thank you. (with a smile)
    Him: Wanna job?

    Kinda ruined that nice feeling of being complimented by a stranger. :frown:

    I saw some videos like that......Reality Kings......You're supposed to get in the van
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I had a guy pull up next to me at a traffic light

    Him: You are beautiful!
    Me: Thank you. (with a smile)
    Him: Wanna job?

    Kinda ruined that nice feeling of being complimented by a stranger. :frown:

    I saw some videos like that......Reality Kings......You're supposed to get in the van

    :laugh: :laugh:

    He was in an El Camino.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
    I had a guy pull up next to me at a traffic light

    Him: You are beautiful!
    Me: Thank you. (with a smile)
    Him: Wanna job?

    Kinda ruined that nice feeling of being complimented by a stranger. :frown:

    I saw some videos like that......Reality Kings......You're supposed to get in the van
    Oh, I would totally get in the van, namsayin?
  • CarolinaGirlinVA
    CarolinaGirlinVA Posts: 1,508 Member
    I was at a Target in another town and when I got out of my car, a guy was walking by and asked what happened to my tail. Given I am a flat bottom girl, I said, "What?!" He pointed at the back of my car where I have our stick family: a deep sea diver, a MERMAID and 4 scuba kids. Then I laughed and told him he'd have to get me wet to see the tail. Yes, I said that. And turned blood red. :blushing:

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