Thoughts on being an only child...

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  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    My boyfriend is an only child. I don't really notice anything about him. He grew up in a single parent household, just him and his mom. He has siblings from his dad and step-wife, but he did not grow up with them. He loves them, but he is very private about his life when it comes to them. He doesn't share much with them.

    Except when it comes to me lol, he is very independent. He is quiet although I feel like that is just his personality. He is very responsible and respectful, but that's more of how he was raised by his mom.

    In other words, I have nothing valuable to add to this conversation. Sorry.

    Sorry.

    Um.bye.








    sorry.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I have noticed that I am totally ok with doing things by myself like going to restaurants, movies, shopping, etc. It drives me nuts when I have friends who bug the crap out of me while I am busy because they can't bring themselves to do some activity alone. I also rarely get bored. I think that is because I got used to entertaining myself while growing up without siblings.

    This describes me as well and I'm the 4th child out of 5.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    When you only have one kid you can totally take it to the bar with you.

    Also this. My kid pulls up a stool and high fives everyone.



    "Where everybody knows your naaaaammmmeee!"
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,679 Member
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    For me I was a little spoiled as a kid. I didn't mind not having a brother or sister I guess. Didn't mind the alone time playing video games, watching television, playing with toys, or drawing. I still had friends of course, but I just got used to being an only child. I suppose that is whyI
    My sentiments exactly! The only problem is that I have nobody to share with or help using my experience. I once read that one of the easiest acts of kindness you could do for somebody was to help a younger sibling with studies/homework. Kinda hard without a younger sibling!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I have noticed that I am totally ok with doing things by myself like going to restaurants, movies, shopping, etc. It drives me nuts when I have friends who bug the crap out of me while I am busy because they can't bring themselves to do some activity alone. I also rarely get bored. I think that is because I got used to entertaining myself while growing up without siblings.

    This describes me as well and I'm the 4th child out of 5.

    I also do all of this alone and I'm the 2nd child.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    One child is cheaper than two.

    There's also less fighting if you only have one kid.

    My grandma was an only child until she was almost 20. The only complaint I have heard is that she had to entertain herself her whole childhood.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
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    I am not an only child but wouldn't mind being one. I can't really recommend having more than one. The only real benefit to it I can see is you always have family around no matter what.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    I am an only child. Well, I have a half-brother that was an adult when I was a kid (big age difference), so I was raised like an only child. Anyway, I don't think I ever had any real desire for my parents to have more kids. I lived in town, so I always had friends over to play with, and I had plenty of cousins around that were older and younger than me. I think the way my parents raised me has more to do with my personality than anything else.

    I'm introverted and independent, just like some others that have commented, but I think that's because my parents channeled my interests into things like books instead of sports. If you want your child to develop certain personality traits, I think you have to start with how you raise them.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    My son is an only child, as life didn't work out to have more. He gets bored not having a built in playmate. He loves not having to share anything. He's definitely more spoiled than he would be if I had more. I didn't get to have more. I'm worried he'll leave me and move across the country and I'll have to wipe my own *kitten* when I'm old. I might be able to afford to help with college since I only have one.

    *shrug*

    I don't know.

    But I do know that I'm currently in the process of forcing IPAkiller to marry me so that I can be a horrible step-mother to his mini as well as thrust a sibling upon my son. Cause that's the way to do it according to Dr. Phil.



    or something like that... I get confused.

    I NOTICED!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    My brother and my husband's brother both married only children... and because of those two, we are making sure we have at least 2 children. Though I do think it is all in the parenting of these onlies on how being one negatively impacts their life.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    My son is an only child, as life didn't work out to have more. He gets bored not having a built in playmate. He loves not having to share anything. He's definitely more spoiled than he would be if I had more. I didn't get to have more. I'm worried he'll leave me and move across the country and I'll have to wipe my own *kitten* when I'm old. I might be able to afford to help with college since I only have one.

    *shrug*

    I don't know.

    But I do know that I'm currently in the process of forcing IPAkiller to marry me so that I can be a horrible step-mother to his mini as well as thrust a sibling upon my son. Cause that's the way to do it according to Dr. Phil.



    or something like that... I get confused.

    I NOTICED!


    :blushing:

    Thank you :)
  • keefmac
    keefmac Posts: 313 Member
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    My 7 year old son has a few friends that are "only child" and you can definitely tell though their behaviour.. We have a 2.5 year old daughter and it's made my son a better person.

    Funnily enough both of them were walking at 10 months and developed the same skills at the same time..

    Two's enough though!.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Well... I have a unique situation. I have two half-sisters, one from each parent. My father's other daughter lives in another part of the country. Our father passed away when we were toddlers. We met for the first time when I was 12, and have only had personal contact a handful of times. She was more like a penpal than a sister (but I still love her like a sister obviously). It was 6 years before my mother had her second daughter. So until I was 9, I was technically an only child.

    Advantages to having been an only child, more attention from my mom. Disadvantages to having been an only child, more attention from my mom. LOL!

    Honestly, I desperately wanted siblings. I adore my younger sister. By the time she was born, I was old enough to help, and she often tells people that I was like a second mother for her. I taught her her first word. I read to her every night for years. I taught her how to read and write. We played all the time. It was rough for a few years once I moved out of the house and she entered her teens. But she is still my best friend!

    If you have a child and are considering whether or not to have another, ask the child what he/she wants. Odds are pretty good that he/she wants a sibling. But even if he/she doesn't, it is good to take his/her feelings into consideration when making the decision to have another child.
  • __Bad_Leroy
    __Bad_Leroy Posts: 242
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    I am an only child. I have a half-sister who is 12 years older than me but never lived with me, so our relationship is more like cousins.

    Would agree with the above posters about being independent and comfortable alone and that is a positive to me.

    Most people with siblings ask "wasn't it lonely growing up?" I always had friends around. We lived in the suburbs and I was always at a friend's house or they were at mine. I can honestly say I was never lonely growing up. I also think I benefited by having more alone time than friends with siblings. I wouln't change a think about how I grew up and I planned on only having one child myself.

    Then I read "Bowling Alone" by Robert Putnam. It's a sociological book about changes between my parents and my generation. It uses the premise that when our parents bowled, they bowled in leagues and wide netwok was established. When our generation goes bowling, we bowl with a group of friends, and are luck to even talk to someone we didn't come with.

    I realized that with the change in society, if I had an only child, it would be very dificult to provide the same upbringing I was given. Because friend networks aren't as broad anymore, I thought my feeling of never being lonely was much less likely. I now have 3 kids.

    Here's a link to the book: http://books.google.com/books/about/Bowling_Alone.html?id=cettawwJwxsC
  • Yurippe
    Yurippe Posts: 850 Member
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    I am an only child. I grew up in a house with 6 adults. I was speaking in full sentences before I started walking. Being the center of attention felt great. When I started school I was different that the other kids. It was difficult to make friends because I didn't relate well to other children.

    ETA: My uncle was 15 when I was born. His son was born when I was 15. I have no local relatives closer in age. That makes for awkward family events. I don't really relate well in either group. I also resented my cousins when they were born. I went from having all the attention to getting none.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Not an only child, but married to one.

    One negative I know is that when the parents get old, there is a lot of stress/responsibility that falls onto that one child. There aren't any siblings to share that pressure with.

    ^ Same here and I saw this happen to my mom who is an only child as well.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,255 Member
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    I so wanted to be an only child!
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    I'm an only child, and it pretty much sucked. It was OK when I went through my loner phase, but that constant need to find a true companion never gets satisfied. Siblings seem to have that connection that can't be forced with a friend, cousin, etc.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    In other words OP, it is a completely different experience from person to person.

    If you decide to have one child (assuming this is why you posted this topic), they could either grow up being independent, dependent, introverted, outgoing, lonely, wishing they had siblings, or glad they didn't.

    It depends on personality, and how and where they're raised. I'm sure this was a good eye opener though. You just won't know for sure how they're going to be. Just like with any kid :)
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know, I just can't relate to those that say they weren't lonely as a child. I was an only child until I was 9. I was lonely! But losing my father at a young age might have contributed to that.

    Also, I grew up to be completely independent. I don't really think an individual needs to be an only child to learn how to do that.

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