Do i have the right to be upset?
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And our little empirical research once again shows that generalisations suck. They just suck.0
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BUt I do have a quick question for women. If your man did not pick up call number 1-5 why call 20 times and do you think that conversation going to be a good one? I need to understand women logic.
call 1 did not answer. Lets call 10 more times back to back he will answer. Still no answer lets keep calling.
I don't get why women call 20 times. I do understand maybe once or twice. But on the other side of that if a girl calls once or twice and you don't answer and have the ability to text her, send her a text saying you don't want to talk right now you'll call her later. Then she knows you are okay at least and knows she will get to talk to you later. But girls need to take a chill pill to and understand that people don't always want to talk, people need their space, and sometimes people don't have service, don't have their phone whatever. I think if I was a guy and a girl called me 20 times...next time she was out with her girlfriends I'd call her 20 times just to see how she likes it....(even if she answered all 20 times) ha
The only legitimate reason to call someone 20 times is if there is a serious emergency, or they said they would be somewhere at x time and it's many hours later and nobody has heard from them, which I would also consider an emergency.
That would still not make sense. If there actually were an emergency, the other person still wouldn't be able to respond, so calling 20 times STILL serves no purpose other than to make the caller appear clingy and psychotic. To me, it just send the message "I'm pissed and I demand attention NOW, so I'm going to be as obnoxious as possible until you acknowledge me!!"
The picture of a furious toddler holding her breath and going blue in the face until she gets what she wants suddenly comes to mind. I have no idea why, though...
Unless the house is burning, the car was hit by a tornado, and the kiddos have joined a cult it's not okay to call 20 times. Otherwise, it's psycho clinger behavior.
Hense serious emergency. Something along the lines of "Your mom is in the hospital in a coma and going to die in the next 2 hours" type serious.0 -
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My long distance bf was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only available on weekends .As for my job,i a work every second weekend.
I was suppose to work this weekend so I had to get someone else at work to switch shifts with. The lady is going to work my weekend for me and I am going to work the following weekend for her which is overnights. I coudnt find anyone else so I just accepted her overnights shifts even though I hate working nights .I just wanted to be free and spend time with my bf .However, my bf texted me last night and told me that he is not coming anymore because he had a big fight with his mom and he is really mad and he is not in the mood anymore. He told me that he is sorry and ask me to understand.
I am crushed because for one, i had to go through trouble and inconvenience of switching my shifts from work with someone so I can see him.Since I already signed the approval forms I cant really go back to the lady and say never mind lets switch back the shifts.I now have to work overnights shifts for nothing which is going to be hard since I cant sleep well during the day. I told him all this and he didn't respond to my texts.I even tried calling him to see if i can convince him to still come and he didn't answer so it sounds like his mind is made up. I just feel like his excuse is weak for not coming to see me and obviously I cant see him next weekend since I have to work overnight shifts for the lady from work and the following weekend after is my regular weekend to work. I am I overreacting?
How long is long distance? Could you go out there another weekend? I know the work thing sucks...
I was in an LDR for a year and we lived on opposite coasts of the US. Our visits were like...every 3 months or so and it was expensive and difficult to schedule (He worked and I was in school). I'd be upset too.0 -
This guy was evil. Really. Good riddance.0 -
And our little empirical research once again shows that generalisations suck. They just suck.
But can they cook and clean? If so, where do I get one?0 -
Dude, how many do you need? Or does the one that you have refuse the cooking and cleaning? (I don't blame her at all.)And our little empirical research once again shows that generalisations suck. They just suck.
But can they cook and clean? If so, where do I get one?0 -
My long distance bf was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only available on weekends .As for my job,i a work every second weekend.
I was suppose to work this weekend so I had to get someone else at work to switch shifts with. The lady is going to work my weekend for me and I am going to work the following weekend for her which is overnights. I coudnt find anyone else so I just accepted her overnights shifts even though I hate working nights .I just wanted to be free and spend time with my bf .However, my bf texted me last night and told me that he is not coming anymore because he had a big fight with his mom and he is really mad and he is not in the mood anymore. He told me that he is sorry and ask me to understand.
I am crushed because for one, i had to go through trouble and inconvenience of switching my shifts from work with someone so I can see him.Since I already signed the approval forms I cant really go back to the lady and say never mind lets switch back the shifts.I now have to work overnights shifts for nothing which is going to be hard since I cant sleep well during the day. I told him all this and he didn't respond to my texts.I even tried calling him to see if i can convince him to still come and he didn't answer so it sounds like his mind is made up. I just feel like his excuse is weak for not coming to see me and obviously I cant see him next weekend since I have to work overnight shifts for the lady from work and the following weekend after is my regular weekend to work. I am I overreacting?
How long is long distance? Could you go out there another weekend? I know the work thing sucks...
I was in an LDR for a year and we lived on opposite coasts of the US. Our visits were like...every 3 months or so and it was expensive and difficult to schedule (He worked and I was in school). I'd be upset too.
4 hours on a train. But he lives with his mom, so she would most likely also have to have a place to stay if she goes to him.0 -
BUt I do have a quick question for women. If your man did not pick up call number 1-5 why call 20 times and do you think that conversation going to be a good one? I need to understand women logic.
call 1 did not answer. Lets call 10 more times back to back he will answer. Still no answer lets keep calling.
I don't get why women call 20 times. I do understand maybe once or twice. But on the other side of that if a girl calls once or twice and you don't answer and have the ability to text her, send her a text saying you don't want to talk right now you'll call her later. Then she knows you are okay at least and knows she will get to talk to you later. But girls need to take a chill pill to and understand that people don't always want to talk, people need their space, and sometimes people don't have service, don't have their phone whatever. I think if I was a guy and a girl called me 20 times...next time she was out with her girlfriends I'd call her 20 times just to see how she likes it....(even if she answered all 20 times) ha
The only legitimate reason to call someone 20 times is if there is a serious emergency, or they said they would be somewhere at x time and it's many hours later and nobody has heard from them, which I would also consider an emergency.
That would still not make sense. If there actually were an emergency, the other person still wouldn't be able to respond, so calling 20 times STILL serves no purpose other than to make the caller appear clingy and psychotic. To me, it just send the message "I'm pissed and I demand attention NOW, so I'm going to be as obnoxious as possible until you acknowledge me!!"
The picture of a furious toddler holding her breath and going blue in the face until she gets what she wants suddenly comes to mind. I have no idea why, though...
Unless the house is burning, the car was hit by a tornado, and the kiddos have joined a cult it's not okay to call 20 times. Otherwise, it's psycho clinger behavior.
Hense serious emergency. Something along the lines of "Your mom is in the hospital in a coma and going to die in the next 2 hours" type serious.
OP how many times did you call him?
BTW girls in MARYLAND do that Im going to keep calling until you pick up. Even if I use all your anytime minutes I will still keep on calling.0 -
If he is mad at his mom, there really is no reason to not answer the gf calls. He doesn't want to deal with her being upset that he cancelled. Possibly also feels guilt because he is blowing her off. All of which shouts immaturity or worse.0
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If he's not answering your texts, he doesn't respect your thoughts and feelings. That is worse than the whole weekend screw-up with the shift switching...and, really, I would explain to your co-worker. If she hadn't already made plans, she won't mind switching back. Trust me... I've done the shift switching thing at work.0
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He's seeing someone else.0
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I can have my opinion, but what does your gut tell you? Go with your gut. You know the guy. You know why he's acting this way, and the reason you're asking a bunch of strangers on the internet is you probably already know the answer.
My advice:
I don't have any.
My opinion and assumptions:
I have lots based on past experience and a really good BS meter that's never failed me before.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
I don't either. When I get that way I shut my phones off so I dont have to deal with any BS till I get my head on straight.0 -
BUt I do have a quick question for women. If your man did not pick up call number 1-5 why call 20 times and do you think that conversation going to be a good one? I need to understand women logic.
call 1 did not answer. Lets call 10 more times back to back he will answer. Still no answer lets keep calling.
I don't get why women call 20 times. I do understand maybe once or twice. But on the other side of that if a girl calls once or twice and you don't answer and have the ability to text her, send her a text saying you don't want to talk right now you'll call her later. Then she knows you are okay at least and knows she will get to talk to you later. But girls need to take a chill pill to and understand that people don't always want to talk, people need their space, and sometimes people don't have service, don't have their phone whatever. I think if I was a guy and a girl called me 20 times...next time she was out with her girlfriends I'd call her 20 times just to see how she likes it....(even if she answered all 20 times) ha
The only legitimate reason to call someone 20 times is if there is a serious emergency, or they said they would be somewhere at x time and it's many hours later and nobody has heard from them, which I would also consider an emergency.
That would still not make sense. If there actually were an emergency, the other person still wouldn't be able to respond, so calling 20 times STILL serves no purpose other than to make the caller appear clingy and psychotic. To me, it just send the message "I'm pissed and I demand attention NOW, so I'm going to be as obnoxious as possible until you acknowledge me!!"
The picture of a furious toddler holding her breath and going blue in the face until she gets what she wants suddenly comes to mind. I have no idea why, though...
Unless the house is burning, the car was hit by a tornado, and the kiddos have joined a cult it's not okay to call 20 times. Otherwise, it's psycho clinger behavior.
Hense serious emergency. Something along the lines of "Your mom is in the hospital in a coma and going to die in the next 2 hours" type serious.
OP how many times did you call him?
BTW girls in MARYLAND do that Im going to keep calling until you pick up. Even if I use all your anytime minutes I will still keep on calling.
Thats why I shut the phones off . Some people cant seem to get it when you dont want to talk.0 -
Someone may have posted this already, but just in case...
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
― Maya Angelou0 -
This thread is long and I could not read it all but forgive him. Jump on a train and go see what he is really up to. If you are wrong then take some flowers for his mother and pretend nothing happened just like he is pretending you are not texting him, good luck!0
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This thread is long and I could not read it all but forgive him. Jump on a train and go see what he is really up to. If you are wrong then take some flowers for his mother and pretend nothing happened just like he is pretending you are not texting him, good luck!
Like I did say that can lead to a deal breaker.0 -
Yes you do have a right to be mad. That is a lame excuse for him bailing on seeing you! Yes I know he is mad and that's fine but he should want to get away from his mother for a little and try to occupy his thoughts with something other then the situation with his mom. I don't think he is being quite honest with you on why he doesn't want to come to see you now. And when you tried calling and texting and he didn't respond well that would make me even more mad and frustrated!! Then to just not really care when you said you think you need to go separate ways? hmm maybe he wasn't that serious about you and in that case yeah its sad but that just means you can find someone near you and better then that toolbag!!!0
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