Do i have the right to be upset?
Replies
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yeah something does not sound right.honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse
I agree with your sister. It's a pretty lame excuse at that.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...
Guys night out.
He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.
He works Monday -Friday so when does he have time for guys night out. Maybe he has no PTO time to take personal days to handle whatever it is.
Oh, come on, every guy I know goes out regardless of whether or not it is a weeknight. Maybe he doesn't get as blasted or stay out as late as a weekend, but they still go out if they want to go out. Unless he's a neurosurgeon or something. And since he's living with mom, I doubt that.
The guy is blowing her off for the weekend because of a fight with mom on Wednesday. In what universe does that make sense? Unless he just really does not want to see her on the weekend. If he really did want to see her, he would make it happen.0 -
Maybe he got grounded but he's too embarressed to say so hahahaha. Seriously is he 14?0
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honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
^^ This. Sounds like it's time to focus on you. In time you'll find someone new who is a better complement to you.0 -
4 hours away?! that's nothing! he's def lying to you. don't waste your time. use the long weekend to find a better man!0
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Maybe he got grounded but he's too embarressed to say so hahahaha. Seriously is he 14?
:laugh:0 -
Your bf is a fool.0
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I have to say he is an idiot and not worth it. He needs to grow up and stop taking the easy way out by texting.0
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Take a step back. It seems a lot of people here are telling you to tank the relationship.
If you feel it's over, it's over. But if you don't feel that way, don't do anything rash.
From the other side of a text it's easy to blow things out of proportion. He may truly feel he would ruin your weekend. I know when my husband is moody it makes me cranky, he can't turn it of or get over it in a couple of minutes, it's best to leave him be and let it work itself out.
If he's already upset, he may be ignoring your calls/texts because he doesn't want to fight with you too.
For your question, yes you can be upset. I would be. Give him the same courtesy and let him be upset on his own therms.
Plan something fun for yourself and don't stay home sulking (unless you enjoy that sort of thing). When both of you are cooled off have an honest conversation about what you expect from each other.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...
Guys night out.
He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.
He works Monday -Friday so when does he have time for guys night out. Maybe he has no PTO time to take personal days to handle whatever it is.
Oh, come on, every guy I know goes out regardless of whether or not it is a weeknight. Maybe he doesn't get as blasted or stay out as late as a weekend, but they still go out if they want to go out. Unless he's a neurosurgeon or something. And since he's living with mom, I doubt that.
The guy is blowing her off for the weekend because of a fight with mom on Wednesday. In what universe does that make sense? Unless he just really does not want to see her on the weekend. If he really did want to see her, he would make it happen.
Going out when you are angry does what. Calms you down to where you go to sleep at a decent hour to work the next day, Tell me your secret please cause If i go out when I am angry that is not how the night will go.0 -
He's lying to you. He didn't want to come see you. Also, have you already met?0
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You have the right to feel whatever you feel. Sounds like he has serious mother issues, you'd think he'd want to get away from the situation and that being with you would be a relief. Dump him, you'll be glad you did in the long run.:flowerforyou: Just sayin'......0
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You're not overreacting. He's being cruel.
Let's put it this way: He's basically say he feels like crap and you'll make him feel either the same or worse.
When I have a bad day, I WANT to see my bf because being with him cheers me up. I know it's the same for him too. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you or him. Just that the combination might not work out. But you can see how it goes.
It does show you how much he values you though. He values his alone time more than you. Again, not saying he doesn't deserve alone time but he should be able to recognize when it's not appropriate for him to ask that of you. And a rare occasion to see you is less important to him than maintaining his frustration? Hmm. That and traveling on a train or in a car is relaxing and would give him plenty of time to calm down.
I once had a long distance relationship too. I broke up with the guy because he wouldn't Skype with me - he wouldn't let me see his face for month because he'd gained weight (funny enough, he gained the weight WHILE I was visiting him so I already knew and had seen). It told me his vanity was more important to him than having a healthy relationship.
Just my opinion though. You need to assess it for yourself and I think this forum is only going to work you up more than you were originally.0 -
he's just not that into you !0
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"Oh My God! She's calling me AGAIN! What a b1tch! Wish she'd just stop calling me!"Well this situations all comes down to trust. Does she trust him or is she going to jump to conclusions. BTW when some men I know including me get angry, pissed off about whatever and our gf call. If we don't want to talk we don't. Does not mean we are getting something on the side. It means go away. Then we see the pile on missed calls and texts. We don't get happier. We might get even more pissed like look why are you still calling after I did not answer miss call # 10.
How horrible to have a girlfriend who cares about you and wants to talk, sort a situation out before it develops into something nastier. If you're so hellbent on not talking, be a decent human being and send an effing text message at least. Takes a few seconds and she has at least SOME kind of communication from you.
If you're in a relationship, you aren't single and that means you hopefully WANT to talk to your best friend. Isn't there any limit to how selfish people can be? I suggest you look up the definition of compromise, because we are still talking about a long-distance relationship where communication is the only bond between two people when geography keeps them apart.
thank you.i agree with you0 -
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You're gonna end up single because of an MFP thread filled with women with axes to grind.
And some of the WORST views on relationships I have ever heard!
Except until you free yourself from the duds, you can't make way for the gems. And hopefully she'll use her own brain and make her own decision.0 -
"Oh My God! She's calling me AGAIN! What a b1tch! Wish she'd just stop calling me!"Well this situations all comes down to trust. Does she trust him or is she going to jump to conclusions. BTW when some men I know including me get angry, pissed off about whatever and our gf call. If we don't want to talk we don't. Does not mean we are getting something on the side. It means go away. Then we see the pile on missed calls and texts. We don't get happier. We might get even more pissed like look why are you still calling after I did not answer miss call # 10.
How horrible to have a girlfriend who cares about you and wants to talk, sort a situation out before it develops into something nastier. If you're so hellbent on not talking, be a decent human being and send an effing text message at least. Takes a few seconds and she has at least SOME kind of communication from you.
If you're in a relationship, you aren't single and that means you hopefully WANT to talk to your best friend. Isn't there any limit to how selfish people can be? I suggest you look up the definition of compromise, because we are still talking about a long-distance relationship where communication is the only bond between two people when geography keeps them apart.
thank you.i agree with you
You know without the ***** part that is exactly what my friend said. He got up to 46 miss calls. Now he is marrying the same girl. I think that was around year two of there five year relationship. So yes that is how some guys feels. If I am angry and I ignore my gf call for whatever reason then I would think why do I see miss call 26 with 10 new text. Have you ever dated a guy that would let your miss call count get above I say 5 and thats a lot? I don't get about 2.0 -
I honestly thought this was written by a 17 year old... Seeing that you're 29, I'm assuming he's close to the same age. If a 29 year old man gets all moody and whiney because he had a fight with his mom, he's a bit of a sissy, and you should re-evaluate your relationship.
The truth of the matter is this... He has a side-piece. Since you have the weekend off, you should get one too.0 -
No one believes he's your boyfriend.0
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Yeah I think he's lying to you, because he had a fight with his mom and is mad? Why wouldn't he want to get out of there and spend time with you and not be around her?
You have every right to be mad. Not Lorena Bobbit mad, but miffed.
lmfao. Definitely not that mad hah.
I agree, I think it's an excuse too, and really lame one.0 -
honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
QFT
That is the most BS excuse I've ever heard, and the not returning phone calls and texts on top of it should be setting off alarm bells.0 -
Im newly single and I was in a LD relationship, I would do anything to go and see my girlfriend, I swapped shifts, worked overtime lost sleep, but it was worth it, sadly it wasn't worth it to her as she left me lol0
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I don't know what your idea of a relationship is but here's mine:
"Oh My God! She's calling me AGAIN! What a b1tch! Wish she'd just stop calling me!"Well this situations all comes down to trust. Does she trust him or is she going to jump to conclusions. BTW when some men I know including me get angry, pissed off about whatever and our gf call. If we don't want to talk we don't. Does not mean we are getting something on the side. It means go away. Then we see the pile on missed calls and texts. We don't get happier. We might get even more pissed like look why are you still calling after I did not answer miss call # 10.
How horrible to have a girlfriend who cares about you and wants to talk, sort a situation out before it develops into something nastier. If you're so hellbent on not talking, be a decent human being and send an effing text message at least. Takes a few seconds and she has at least SOME kind of communication from you.
If you're in a relationship, you aren't single and that means you hopefully WANT to talk to your best friend. Isn't there any limit to how selfish people can be? I suggest you look up the definition of compromise, because we are still talking about a long-distance relationship where communication is the only bond between two people when geography keeps them apart.
thank you.i agree with you
You're gonna end up single because of an MFP thread filled with women with axes to grind.
And some of the WORST views on relationships I have ever heard!
- The couple are each other's best friends
- They keep each other in the loop; it is reasonable to expect one's partner to share what's going on and if you're pissed off and need some time alone just say so, but as long as you shut your partner out, they have no idea of what is going on (since they usually can't read minds) - and once one has told the other either verbally or in text that (s)he needs some space, the other one respects that need
- The couple trust each other - but to be able to trust, one needs some information from time to time; I don't believe in stalking but I also don't believe in withholding information just for the sake of it (I never knew my husband's passwords to cell phone, computer, etc. and I never asked for them either, although in emergencies it might be a good idea to have them)
- The partners make efforts for each other even when the initial reaction would be to do something selfish; I see this as compromise
I do have high standards. I hate loud arguments just for the sake of it and I do believe in filtering what comes out of your mouth. I don't believe the home is where everything needs to be barfed out without any restraints what so ever, but I also believe in making room for frustrations, anger and sadness to be voiced without judgment. Adults communicate. Oh, and I'm also extremely loyal, so if my guy makes efforts for me, he sure receives it back many times. I guess this would be an awful bargain for some, but then we wouldn't be a match.0 -
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Sure, I never wash my dirty laundry in public, but not everyone is the same. I'm curious what you thought about my requirements.
I don't know what your idea of a relationship is but here's mine:
You're gonna end up single because of an MFP thread filled with women with axes to grind.
And some of the WORST views on relationships I have ever heard!
- The couple are each other's best friends
- They keep each other in the loop; it is reasonable to expect one's partner to share what's going on and if you're pissed off and need some time alone just say so, but as long as you shut your partner out, they have no idea of what is going on (since they usually can't read minds) - and once one has told the other either verbally or in text that (s)he needs some space, the other one respects that need
- The couple trust each other - but to be able to trust, one needs some information from time to time; I don't believe in stalking but I also don't believe in withholding information just for the sake of it (I never knew my husband's passwords to cell phone, computer, etc. and I never asked for them either, although in emergencies it might be a good idea to have them)
- The partners make efforts for each other even when the initial reaction would be to do something selfish; I see this as compromise
I do have high standards. I hate loud arguments just for the sake of it and I do believe in filtering what comes out of your mouth. I don't believe the home is where everything needs to be barfed out without any restraints what so ever, but I also believe in making room for frustrations, anger and sadness to be voiced without judgment. Adults communicate. Oh, and I'm also extremely loyal, so if my guy makes efforts for me, he sure receives it back many times. I guess this would be an awful bargain for some, but then we wouldn't be a match.
Here's one of mine:
-Don't start an internet thread airing our private business
Here's another:
-When you believe a crowd of strangers on the internet more than you believe me, we're done0 -
I don't know what your idea of a relationship is but here's mine:
You're gonna end up single because of an MFP thread filled with women with axes to grind.
And some of the WORST views on relationships I have ever heard!
- The couple are each other's best friends
- They keep each other in the loop; it is reasonable to expect one's partner to share what's going on and if you're pissed off and need some time alone just say so, but as long as you shut your partner out, they have no idea of what is going on (since they usually can't read minds) - and once one has told the other either verbally or in text that (s)he needs some space, the other one respects that need
- The couple trust each other - but to be able to trust, one needs some information from time to time; I don't believe in stalking but I also don't believe in withholding information just for the sake of it (I never knew my husband's passwords to cell phone, computer, etc. and I never asked for them either, although in emergencies it might be a good idea to have them)
- The partners make efforts for each other even when the initial reaction would be to do something selfish; I see this as compromise
I do have high standards. I hate loud arguments just for the sake of it and I do believe in filtering what comes out of your mouth. I don't believe the home is where everything needs to be barfed out without any restraints what so ever, but I also believe in making room for frustrations, anger and sadness to be voiced without judgment. Adults communicate. Oh, and I'm also extremely loyal, so if my guy makes efforts for me, he sure receives it back many times. I guess this would be an awful bargain for some, but then we wouldn't be a match.
Here's one of mine:
-Don't start an internet thread airing our private business
Here's another:
-When you believe a crowd of strangers on the internet more than you believe me, we're done
I used to thing you were just one of those trolls. Not anymore you're cool in my book.0 -
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I don't know what your idea of a relationship is but here's mine:
You're gonna end up single because of an MFP thread filled with women with axes to grind.
And some of the WORST views on relationships I have ever heard!
- The couple are each other's best friends
- They keep each other in the loop; it is reasonable to expect one's partner to share what's going on and if you're pissed off and need some time alone just say so, but as long as you shut your partner out, they have no idea of what is going on (since they usually can't read minds) - and once one has told the other either verbally or in text that (s)he needs some space, the other one respects that need
- The couple trust each other - but to be able to trust, one needs some information from time to time; I don't believe in stalking but I also don't believe in withholding information just for the sake of it (I never knew my husband's passwords to cell phone, computer, etc. and I never asked for them either, although in emergencies it might be a good idea to have them)
- The partners make efforts for each other even when the initial reaction would be to do something selfish; I see this as compromise
I do have high standards. I hate loud arguments just for the sake of it and I do believe in filtering what comes out of your mouth. I don't believe the home is where everything needs to be barfed out without any restraints what so ever, but I also believe in making room for frustrations, anger and sadness to be voiced without judgment. Adults communicate. Oh, and I'm also extremely loyal, so if my guy makes efforts for me, he sure receives it back many times. I guess this would be an awful bargain for some, but then we wouldn't be a match.
Here's one of mine:
-Don't start an internet thread airing our private business
Here's another:
-When you believe a crowd of strangers on the internet more than you believe me, we're done
Just wanted to point out that there were also plenty of guys who said that he was cheating. It isn't just women claiming she should just dump him.0 -
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